A/N: Welcome to my canon-divergent take on Eclipse! A couple notes before you dive in:

We're starting where New Moon left off. This story is meant to be continuous with Twilight/New Moon. Plot devices and character development from Eclipse/Breaking Dawn are added at my discretion. Much has been removed and changed, but story lines introduced in the first two novels will have resolution.

The primary theme of this story is equality and developing the E/B relationship. We're going on a long journey to get there.

Characters are close to canon but not exact and that's kind of the point. Bella has a maturity arc, and Edward is less of a prude. Enjoy.

No babies. No love triangle.

Rated M. No fade to black and not intended for younger readers.

This is my first long form story and I'm treating it as a practice book. I'm also attempting to mirror a lot of the stylistic techniques in Twilight to keep it contiguous. Meyer owns everything, as always, and I'm just playing in her sandbox.

Please review/favorite/pass along. I have a full time job and your support really helps me stay motivated!

"Bells, you sure are getting a lot of mail lately," Charlie said, walking through the front door of our small house in the town of Forks, Washington. He closed the door with a foot and set a large pile of envelopes in a small basket by the door. Raindrops pooled off his waterproof jacket and boots and puddled on the floor.

"It's good mail, mostly," I said, walking over to him and thumbing through the addresses on the large yellow envelopes in the basket. Charlie shrugged off his jacket and took off his gun belt, hanging it by the door. My dad was the chief of police of our small town. When I first moved here, this ritual was a little odd, as I hadn't really been around guns much when I'd lived with my mom before, in Phoenix. Now his evening ritual was barely noticed by me.

"College acceptances, then?" He looked proud. "That's great, Bells. Have you made a decision about where you'd like to go?" We walked into the small kitchen together, taking in the garish yellow cabinets that my mom had painted years ago, before she moved out.

"No, I haven't made a decision yet." Truthfully, I didn't know if I was even going to college. It was not my first plan for my immediate future, although I didn't feel comfortable sharing that with my dad. "I'm reviewing everything with Edward, though."

Charlie sighed, opened the refrigerator to grab a Rainier before his evening watch of nighttime sports.

Edward. His name hung in the air.

Charlie had not been exactly pleased with my boyfriend in recent weeks. Several weeks ago, Edward had reappeared in my life after his sudden absence for months. My dad, protective as always, was not entirely excited to see his face in our home so much, after seeing how Edward's absence had affected me.

It had affected every part of me, just how now Edward's presence affects my every thought, my every decision. Even when I wasn't thinking about him, some part of me still clung to his presence. It was a connection that I couldn't explain even to myself, let alone to Charlie.

"What sounds good for dinner tonight, dad?" I asked, changing the topic strategically.

"Something easy," he said. "I feel guilty, you know. Having you cook."

"It's okay, I don't mind." A recent meal Charlie had attempted to make came to mind —crunchy, heavily salted vegetables served with undercooked chicken breasts. We pivoted immediately and ordered a pizza instead. "One day I won't be here though, and then it's my turn to feel guilty."

Charlie smirked, a light coming to his eyes that I didn't often get a chance to see. "I'm looking forward to you being away, actually."

My eyebrows raised. "You… want me gone?" My heart fell slightly —I'd always assumed I was doing Charlie a favor by staying here.

"Not like that." His tone was serious as he noticed my reaction and recognized how I might have interpreted his words. "I just mean, I'll be extremely proud when you go off to school. You're so smart, you read so much. I bet you'd love college. It's something your mom and I never got to experience."

A different type of guilt washed over me, thinking once more about the alternate future I had planned with Edward. "I hadn't thought about that before. Why didn't you go?"

He took a sip out of his can of beer and unbuttoned the edges of his flannel shirt sleeve cuff. I opened the refrigerator to pull out a half-empty jar of pasta sauce, with a plan of making pasta and a salad for the two of us.

"Well, Bells —we wanted to, if I'm being honest. Your mom, for all her… quirks… was pretty smart back in the day. Good at testing." He paused, and I could tell he was thinking about his youth. "We were caught up in each other, and decided to do our own thing instead. Like get married and have you, for example."

I was quiet as I fished around in the kitchen for the remaining ingredients and filled a pot with salted water. I'd never really thought of my parents in this way before, and again felt just a pang of guilt that maybe I had been a major disruption from the beginning, even if my mom was able to get her teaching degree much later in life. I also thought of how in many ways, I was doing something similar to Reneé and Charlie.

Edward…well, we had a complicated arrangement. And it was getting more complicated by the day. My boyfriend was very…different, in ways that Charlie didn't know about, and those differences made the framework of our decisions…unique.

Namely, Edward was a vampire. I'd grown up thinking mystical creatures only lived in stories I'd read or seen, but that had changed when I moved to this small town in the Pacific Northwest just over a year ago. As Edward and I grew closer, it became clear that he wasn't like other boys in my high school. His speed, his strength, even his appearance were otherworldly. And I loved everything about it.

Except that it made my life infinitely more complicated, because Edward longed for my blood, more than he had for any other human he'd come across. He'd told me that the thought he'd had of losing me completely a couple months ago had shifted everything for him and he no longer felt pulled by the desire to kill me, something I could only begin to understand. While his family made a strategic choice to not feed on humans, calling themselves "vegetarians" instead by living on the blood of animals, I understood from the moment Edward became a fixture in my life that any moment I was with him, I was in danger.

And he understood that too, which was why he left me in the woods last September after my eighteenth birthday. I had a hard time believing he loved me as much as I loved him, namely because I was such an ordinary brown-haired, brown-eyed, uncoordinated human, he challenged me on this constantly. And, our dynamic of being in a human-to-vampire relationship was unsustainable, and would either result in my death or in changing me into a vampire. This was something I desperately wanted – to spend eternity with him.

Edward was not a fan of this idea, believing my soul was too important to take any chances with. When we'd returned from Italy in March, and he assured me he was permanently back in my life, I'd taken the decision to transform into a vampire myself to his family. His loving and wonderful vampire family had sided with me, much to his irritation.

"Is he coming over tonight?" Charlie asked, interrupting my train of thought. By the look on my dad's face, he knew exactly what I was thinking about.

"Yes, dad." I didn't like it when he didn't use Edward's name.

"Well, you know the rules," Charlie said, wandering back to the living room. He was referencing me "being grounded" after our fiasco of a return from running away to Europe to save Edward's life in March. I heard the TV click on and a loud reporter's voice filled the room. I tuned out, and focused on chopping vegetables for our salad.

My hands were busy, but I was still lost in thoughts about Edward and the parallels with Charlie. Edward had proposed. I still balked at this idea. I was eighteen, with no real example of a successful marriage in my life. Marrying him seemed too…artificial, too human. It was not a level of commitment that resonated with me. Our connection felt deeper than that.

But it was important to Edward, and I knew that. He'd promised to be the one to change me if I married him.

I couldn't help but feel a sense of shame, thinking about walking down an aisle in front of everyone we knew. "So young," they'd say. Edward will eternally look seventeen, even though he's technically over a hundred. I couldn't help but think of the disapproval for Charlie and Reneé, too. They had been my age when they got married, and it was hard not to sense that they regretted it to some extent.

It was hard to process that as their only child, but I shrugged off those thoughts. I knew my parents loved me dearly. I knew they really wanted me to go to college, just as much as Edward does. And everyday, Edward reminded me that this was his first choice – more human time.

My desire to be with him was strong, and I wanted to start my vampire life now. Even still, I recognized my own conflict that the people who I knew loved me most - my parents, Edward - desired a different version of my life than what I wanted.

The timer on the microwave went off, interrupting my train of thoughts that were spiraling into a deeper pit of anxiety. I drained the noodles and quickly assembled dinner, and called out to Charlie in the living room.

We typically ate around our small wooden kitchen table in silence, and we both enjoyed it. I saw my dad take a giant forkful of spaghetti.

"Have you heard from Jacob Black at all?" he asked, breaking our quiet spell once he was finished chewing.

His question was unexpected, and hurt. I put my fork down and swallowed quickly. "I haven't heard from Jacob in weeks."

"I talked to Billy recently," Charlie said. "It sounds like he misses you a lot."

I went quiet, once again thinking about the added complication with Jacob. My best friend. Or, maybe a former best friend. Jacob had been there to heal me after Edward had left, and we'd grown close. I didn't like to admit this to myself, but I understood that he loved me. Or maybe, was infatuated with me. I was so broken down by Edward's departure I didn't care that there wasn't the level of reciprocity Jacob desired. I felt a pang of guilt around the selfishness of my actions.

"You could go see him, you know." Charlie took a bite of salad. "You're grounded, but not dead."

"I don't think Jacob wants to see me." He had told me bluntly we couldn't be friends just a few weeks ago. It stung, recalling his message.

"Maybe he does." I raised my eyebrows at him. He really didn't understand the situation well. "Or," he continued, "maybe I have no idea what's going on with that."

I smiled to myself slightly and agreed, but didn't dare say that out loud.

I wanted so desperately to have Jake in my life again, as a friend. He was also not…normal. He was part of the Quileute tribe, and lived on a reservation on the coast. His tribe's legends stated they had descended from wolves, which I learned last fall was literal.

Jacob was a werewolf.

Edward always mentioned I'd had a knack for finding trouble, and the evidence of that was undeniable.

Edward and Jacob did not get along. In fact, they were mortal enemies, created and existing to kill one another. They were cordial only because of me, and Edward's guilt of leaving me had created a type of gratitude for Jake I could only barely understand. But Jacob did not like that Edward was back, and could not forgive me for choosing him.

I thought about our friendship, and his warmth and lightness, and felt a deep sickening sensation.

I missed my friend so much, and I wanted him back in my life.

But I wanted something else more - I wanted to talk to someone about this. Even though I could never share the wild details of vampires and werewolves with anyone outside, I recognized I needed to have advice about the complicated web of problems before me.

"You know who I would like to see?" I said enthusiastically. "Angela Weber. I haven't had a chance to visit her in ages." In fact, I don't think I ever had visited Angela alone outside of school. She was such a good friend I immediately wondered why.

"Yes, a thousand times yes," Charlie said. "Someone other than the boy!"

The boy.

"I'll call her once I'm done washing up," I said, feeling lighter at the idea of spending time with a friend. "And, could you call him Edward? He's important to me."

"I know," Charlie muttered. "And I can tell you are important to Edward, too." A stressful look came across his face suddenly, and I saw a vein in his throat throb. I didn't want to know what he was thinking about.

"Dad," I asked, tentatively broaching the next subject. "I know I am grounded, but I'd appreciate being able to go out with Edward once in a while. For dinner, or to see his family. I miss that. If we plan it in advance and run it by you, could I go out… sometimes?" I had been stuck in the house for weeks and it was draining.

Edward would appreciate it too; he'd spent a lot of time here recently.

Charlie was still thinking about whatever made his blood pressure visibly increase. I thought maybe he'd automatically deny it, but he thought carefully. "That's fine, I guess. But, I wanna know all the details." The look he shot me was less of a father's glance and more of a police officer's.

We finished eating quietly. Charlie did the dishes tonight, which was nice. I knew Edward would be coming by soon, and I felt my typical flurry of butterflies at the thought of seeing him soon. Since he didn't eat —ever— he always came by after dinner. I picked up the phone to call Angela, wanting to get something scheduled before Edward knocked on the door.

Angela picked up on the second ring.

"Bella!" she said enthusiastically. "It's great to hear from you. How are you?"

"Good," I answered simply. Was I? I didn't really know. "I wanted to see if maybe we could hang out one night. I'm really in need of a girl's night."

She was quiet for just a moment and I recognized she intuited that I wanted to talk about something. "Of course, Bella. Wanna come over on Friday? My mom is picking up some Chinese food and it would be great to have you over."

"Friday is perfect," I said, and I was instantly looking forward to it. I'd have some time to think about how to talk about my situation, the conflict between Jacob and Edward and the impending future of college or maybe even marriage.

I heard a knock on the door and my heart skipped a beat.

"Hey Angela, Edward just got here. I'll see you in school tomorrow!"

"Bye! I'm glad you called —tell Edward I said hi." I heard a click on the other line. I always appreciated how Angela didn't linger.

I put the phone down and flew to the door, excited to see the face on the other side.