I did not want to sleep.

I pulled off all my clothes. All of them.

My heart was rattling in my chest as I shakily folded the garments and set them in my bag. I crossed my legs awkwardly and looked around the room. I tried to think about how to best communicate my intentions to Edward. I figured being completely naked would give him a strong indicator, but I still didn't know what to do with myself as I waited for him to return.

I had never done anything close to this in my life.

I had no idea how to seduce someone. The heat of embarrassment crashed through me. I thought about perhaps getting in bed and just laying there under the blankets. I thought about lying on top of the bed, but that felt too suggestive. I understood I was escalating this quickly enough already with my outrageous gesture.

I was frozen by the corner of the bed, feeling my resolve breaking.

I already felt myself turning to look at my bag of clothes, talking myself out of this, when I heard his hand on the door.

I adjusted my position and held onto whatever of my resolve remained, bracing myself for rejection. I leaned against one of the corners of the bed. My heart was jumping out of my chest.

Edward stood before me.

His mouth dropped open.

He moved inside and quickly shut the door. He was staring intently at his golden carpet. "Bella," he said, his eyes still averted. "Do you need more time to get dressed?"

"No," I said bluntly.

He inhaled and his breath caught on the exhale. "I don't think this is such a good idea."

He definitely got my message, then.

Perhaps it was because I was consumed suddenly by lust from being teased for months on end, or maybe it was because of the genuine fear I had that I might die soon that made me do it. But I stepped closer to him, stopping only inches away from where he stood. He had nowhere to look but me.

I saw his body respond.

I stood on my toes to kiss his cheek. My lips then found his chin. "It's stupid, I know." I steadied myself as I kissed the edge of his mouth. "I'm an idiot."

Edward found his voice. It was shaky. "You are an idiot." He moved his mouth so it hovered just over mine, not touching. His breath was disarming, and I was stunned. "A perfect, beautiful idiot." His lips brushed against mine with the lightest pressure, and I felt his cold, stone hand move to the small of my back.

My breath caught as he caressed me in silence, his mind clearly short-circuited. His lips hovered over mine, moving back and forth, almost like he was shaking his head. His hand moved to hold mine, and I felt his fingers stroking my ring.

He touched it for a long time, and I patiently stood still. It was extremely difficult to do so.

Finally, he spoke. "My beautiful idiot."

He stepped around me, moving away from the door. I'd not allowed him to enter his room much at all before I cornered him. At a speed that was impossibly fast for a human, he removed his shirt.

It was in that moment I realized that I had won. Victory raced through me.

"This is very stupid, what we are about to do." His voice was husky.

"Oh?" I asked. My heart was electrified, and I'm sure he could hear it. "What's that?" My attempt at flirting was pitiful.

He put his arms around me and guided me to the bed with heartbreaking gentleness.

"Dissolve my self control." He stepped away and started to undo the jeans he had just put on. My stomach flipped again, this time with more intensity than I had ever experienced in my life. He continued. "Honestly, resisting human blood for seventy years is easier than denying you right now." His eyes combed over me.

"Don't deny me, then."

His eyes found mine, burning in their intensity. They were back to the light golden color I craved, but somehow darkening in the moment. I realized they were darkening from his own lust.

He stepped out of his jeans. He left on a pair of boxer briefs, but nothing else.

The garment hid very little.

His body was beautiful. More than I could have ever dreamed of.

"Does this look like denial?" He asked, moving towards the bed.

I swallowed.

He reclined back beside me on the bed. "I know we don't know what will happen. We'll face it together." He shuddered, and I realized that perhaps if he had been human maybe he would have been crying. "I won't let anybody take you from me. Ever."

He shifted to hover over me, his lips pressing lightly on one eyelid, and then the other. "This is what you want?" He stared deeply into my eyes.

"Yes." My voice was small. I was lost in the sensation of him and his clear, golden eyes.

He whispered against my lips. "Okay, then." He inhaled, steadying himself. "I can't make any promises, but tonight can be for us. Just in case. Are you sure you aren't too tired?"

I was definitely not too tired for this. "I'm fine. I want this."

"You have to talk to me, Bella." He pulled back to look at my entire face. "You have to understand the danger here."

"I do," I hummed. "I just want to feel close to you." Instinctively, I raised my hips, now only one light layer of clothing between us. It hid nothing. My lips found his and I crushed myself into him, groaning into his mouth.

With a ragged breath, I heard him snap.

He adjusted and pulled me partially on top of him. He kissed me, deeply, as my heart was thumping erratically in my chest. His hands began to explore, his light, cold touch contrasting against my now burning skin. His fingers kissed the nape of my neck, and then traced the length of me, trailing over my ribs, lingering a little on the newly exposed skin of my backside. In a gentle motion, he continued, tracing my thigh, before stopping to cup my knee.

Tenderly, but firmly, he pulled my knee so it found his hardness. A new wave of heat coursed through me at this unexplored intimacy.

I was in shock that this was really happening.

My body molded into him and moving against him was so natural, so perfect.

He broke the kiss and leaned his head back. I could tell his eyes were rolling back in his head as I heard him moan.

I felt high from the knowledge I was the source of this pleasure.

"We should have done this a while ago," he said, his breath catching.

"What have I been telling you?" I re-positioned myself so I was on top of him, straddling him completely. I lowered, and began to move myself against him.

He said nothing, but gazed up at me, breathless. His eyes scanned my face, surely reddened, before moving down, lingering on my breasts before stopping completely to gaze at the motion of my rising and falling against him. His hand reached up to cup my breast as I ground myself into him, his cold hardness hitting the deepest part of me.

I was lost.

"We need to stop this," he panted. "You are driving me insane."

I didn't stop; his words barely registered with me. I was losing myself. I felt so close.

"Bella." He sounded desperate. I felt him grab me, shifting me off of him. I felt suddenly angry, so eager to keep going. My eyes were shut as I began to squirm against the comforter, my hands scrambling to touch him, but I couldn't find him.

My anger was quickly eradicated as I felt his cold hands grasp my thighs, pulling me closer to the edge of the mattress. I felt my legs drape across his cold, marble back.

I opened my eyes to see him situated between my legs, seeing only the now blackness of his eyes. They were pure fire.

Our eyes locked as he pressed his lips deep within me. All sensation was lost except the feeling of him moving against me. I thought perhaps my heart would stop and wondered if maybe it already had. I moaned.

Some part of me registered his ask from a moment ago.

"Safe?" I panted as I felt his cold tongue explore me. His hands were pinning my hips to the bed. "Is this s-s-safe for you?" I could barely speak.

I forced my head up to look at him. The sight of him was the most erotic thing I'd ever seen.

He didn't answer but instead moved his hand, giving me a thumbs up.

I laughed.

And when I laughed, my body bucked him in a new way, brushing against the firmness of his nose. His icy tongue slid inside me and I gripped the edge of the bed as I let go. My climax shattered through me, only feeling the tightening of his hands as he forced my hips to stay in place.

Reality came back to me, and I felt him pull away. He shifted to lie beside me.

"Good?" He panted. His eyes were frenzied madness.

I felt my stomach flip as I noticed traces of my wetness on his chin.

"Yes," I said, breathless. Suddenly, I felt insecure. "Good for you?"

He chuckled. "I don't think I've ever enjoyed myself more." He picked up my hand and kissed it. "With the way your blood lures me in, I should have anticipated that…other things… would drive me just as wild."

I blushed. "What things, Edward?" My voice was husky as I teased him, mirroring a conversation that took place so long ago.

He cocked an eyebrow at me. I felt him move closer to me once again, his hands now freely exploring me. "You know, things."

I gasped as I felt his finger, so cold and so solid, enter me.

"Cold? Bad?" He rasped as he pulled away. "Tell me."

"No," I shuddered. "It's good. Different."

"We can stop," he said, looking at me intently. I felt conflict radiating from him.

"Definitely let's not do that." I grasped his hand again and pulled all I could, wanting to guide him back. I felt him breathe into my neck as his hand moved again, slower this time, lingering.

I reached out to grab him impatiently, my hand wrapping around him over the thin fabric. He was harder than marble.

He hissed. "Stop."

I pulled back immediately, shock crossing my features. I didn't know what I was doing. I wondered if I did something wrong.

He could tell I was anxious. "I just want to touch you first, that's all. I can't focus on that as well." He kissed me softly and I felt his finger enter me again. I inhaled sharply and arched my back as he began to move.

I could feel him staring at me, but I couldn't have cared what I looked like as I began to rock against him. He began to knead the spot at the apex of my thighs, pushing down exactly where I needed.

"Fuck!" I cried as an immense wave of pleasure coursed through me, a bomb detonating in my brain.

"Are you hurt?" He pulled away immediately, and I regretted my uncharacteristic outburst.

I opened my eyes to see him concerned. "No. The opposite."

I heard him chuckle. "You're fun to watch when I'm not terrified I'm destroying you."

"You can kill me like that, if you want."

"La petit mort."

"What?" I could hardly understand what he said.

He moved his hands over me as he beamed. "It's French. It means death by orgasm."

I laughed at him. "Why are you telling me this now?"

"I have no idea; I have no idea what I'm doing." We were both laughing now. He sat up right and pulled me into his cool, alabaster arms. I felt him against my back. "I love you, that's all that matters, right?"

"Yes," I said, feeling the slight prickle of tears forming behind my eyes as I threw my arms around his neck. "Edward, I love you more than anything."

I felt him swallow as he rocked me gently. He sat me beside him, and I laid back, gazing at him. He stood up, holding my gaze. And he removed the one remaining garment.

I couldn't look away from him. He approached me, and positioned himself on top of me. I moved my legs to accommodate him.

"I don't know how this will work," he said softly as he kissed my cheek. "But we can try."

I nodded, and I felt him adjust, brushing against my wet center. It felt so cold I almost wondered if I was being burned. But I was too fixated on his dilated eyes to care.

He kissed me, so lightly. And then he pulled back, to watch me, as he pushed every so slightly into me.

I felt my heart stop. And restart.

"Okay?" He said, perched on his arms above me.

"Yes," I breathed. "Keep going."

He slowly moved again, but it was not at the right angle. He pulled away. "This is tricky," he breathed. "I'm not as flexible as I need to be with you." He looked incredibly frustrated.

"What if I'm on top?" I suggested.

"Let's try it," he said. He paused and moved to lay beside me. "But, Bella, you have to stop before I… finish."

"What do you mean?"

I heard him sigh. "I can't do that, not while you are still human."

I felt shock surge through me and turned on my side to look at him. His beauty was earth-defying, something that could only be created by a higher power. "Is it… weird for you?" I'd never considered that Edward wouldn't want to do this with me because we weren't… the same.

"Not like that," he said quickly. Too quickly. "It's because… I won't be in control, and I'm scared I'll hurt you. I can't go that far."

"I want to feel you," I said. I hadn't considered that I wouldn't experience that with him.

He sighed again. "We can, I suppose. But not like this." He gestured to himself, suggesting where I should move to.

I obliged. Soon I was straddling him, sitting back on his thighs. "Are you ready?"

He reached up to touch my face, brushing my hair back. "Yes, if you are."

I nodded and moved towards him as he reclined. I positioned myself above him, feeling the coldness once again.

I instinctively reached my hand to his cock, to guide him in. It didn't move.

But Edward gasped. "Fuck."

I raised my eyebrows.

"Extreme provocation." He exclaimed, his eyes still closed. I moved my hand away, making a mental note to return to that later.

Instead of moving him, I moved myself. I pushed down, moaning as I felt myself expand to accommodate him.

I did not stop until I felt him completely fill me.

I stopped breathing. I stopped feeling anything at all.

It was fucking cold.

My eyes shot open and I stared at him. His eyes were circles, they were so round, staring at me.

"Talk to me," I said, looking at him. Somehow feeling his cock in me gave me some level of awareness I didn't know was possible. I was more aware than Edward, who looked completely shook.

"So warm." He blinked. "It's like being on fire."

"Imagine what I'm going through," I said, somehow managing to smirk at him.

"We can stop, this has to be awful for you."

I bent over him, letting my hair dangle in his face. "Not awful." I felt myself start to move against him, pulling away slightly as I closed my eyes. Oh, the feeling of him. I had to immediately return back.

"So good," I moaned as I worked myself against him. I felt his hand rest against my hips as they rocked against him.

I opened my eyes. His face was completely consumed by lust.

I came, seeing his beautiful face watch me move on top of him. I buckled over, my hair splaying across him as I felt my orgasm pulse against him.

I felt him begin to move. He'd stayed so still before, but now it was clear his body wanted the same thing. His hips rocked so gently, so impossibly gently, against me.

I found my way enough to look at him. "Edward."

"Hmm?" He said, his hips still pulsing into me. I leaned back, unable to contain myself. I felt another orgasm coming.

"Edward." I moaned. Oh, this was impossible. I should just let him kill me like this. Feeling him move in me is the best thing I've ever felt. "You t-t-t-old me to stop y-ou." I felt my orgasm pulse through me uncontrollably, consuming him.

He breathed as he sat up on one elbow. "I can do it." His eyes were wide, watching me come down. "I want to." He pulled at my hips. "Oh, how I want to." He began to thrust into me.

And I let go. I couldn't hold it together. Some small part of my brain was thinking this could kill me. Maybe this was how my future disappeared. But I didn't care as I leaned back and felt him. A misplaced primal instinct had overcome both of us, somehow meeting halfway between human and vampire.

I leaned down and my teeth scraped against his ear. He tensed… and then he released all control. His pace was melodic, so gentle against me, as I felt him pulse in me. I leaned back and watched his head push deep within the mattress.

I stayed perfectly still as I felt him relax.

"I'm alive!" I said as he came to.

He laughed and reached up to touch my face. "Yes. You are alive."