"I'm just a soul whose intentions are good..."

- The Animals


The Light and the Dark

The Venator was no longer in hyperspace, but the next few steps were tricky. Even with Rex actively redirecting the rest of the 501st to various places on the ship, Ahsoka kept in mind that a bounty would be on his head for going against his new protocol. That was her own doing. She knew what she would be getting Rex into if she brought him along. Fortunately, Rex had been spared of her first theory, which was Maul getting to him before she did and destroying him when the Sith had him in his clutch.

There was a possibility that the "mind trick" she'd just used on Rex could have worked with the other one. However, if Anakin's mind had been locked when she attempted to contact him, then Maul's mind was more like a safe with a hundred seals. And that was even with Maul as close to Ahsoka as he had been. It wasn't clear why all of a sudden her attention was kept on him. Maybe because he posed a direct risk to her, whereas Anakin was only hypothetical.

Every so often, she would find herself trying to pry into the renegade's mind, only to find it all void of anything she could use. Anything that would grant her a good enough reason to sever this alliance, that was.

Maul couldn't have cared less about the state of the Republic and the preservation of the Jedi Order. But even he couldn't have believed that removing Sidious's pupil would give him access to become Sidious's right hand again. She heard about the capture of Maul on Mandalore before the siege and it was suspected that this mysterious Sith Lord had been behind it. Only one with a great amount of power could have dethroned Maul so easily, Ahsoka thought.

If it was Sidious, then Ahsoka couldn't fathom why Maul wasn't immediately executed when he was taken. Maybe Maul was correct if he thought he could become Sidious's apprentice again.

"Wait..." Ahsoka mumbled in her time of deep thought as she remembered Maul never gave her a satisfactory answer as to why he wanted Sidious dead.

But her chance had gone as quickly as it came. A lone soldier had wandered the halls, his helmet decorated with the same insignia as his face.

"Captain Rex!" Jesse said, his blaster ready. "You're conspiring with the enemy!"

Rex held his free hand up. "Wait, Jesse. This is not what it looks like."

"Our orders are to shoot on sight," Jesse reminded him. "Anyone who refuses should be killed for treason."

Ahsoka was not in her usual defense position when Jesse approached them seemingly out of nowhere. The simpler solution would have been to stun him as they had been doing with the others. But Ahsoka had no doubt a battalion would be waiting for them in the hangar. The clones had challenged them in short waves, with Ahsoka force-throwing only handfuls of them at a time. But to make their way across thousands of soldiers required her to use some tactics. She knew Maul would not be as compliant, but it was worth a try.

"I surrender," Ahsoka said as she lowered herself to the ground, her hands on her head. She signaled with her eyes for Maul to do the same and could practically hear him grinding his teeth in frustration. But he was on his knees and kept his hands away from his saber.

"I don't get it." Jesse responded.

"I... I..." Rex stammered. "I'm taking them in. New orders."

The opposing clone lowered his weapon. "I don't remember hearing about this..."

"... Lord Sidious wants them alive." Rex sounded more assertive. "He just passed this info to me. Perks of being captain, I guess."

It didn't take any more convincing than that for Jesse to accept it. "Alright, then. Shall I pass this onto the others?"

Rex approved.

Ahsoka didn't believe her own eyes. An impromptu plan worked. Probably for only a second. She didn't realize she'd been holding her breath until it exploded out of her the minute Jesse left.

"Clones are not very bright." Maul observed.

"Just be grateful it bought us some time." Rex told him, shaking his head. "Can't wait for this to be over..."

Ahsoka couldn't have agreed more.

The breach in Jesse's psyche didn't last for too long. Ahsoka's predictions were right that the army had been waiting for them ahead of their path. The 501st Legion was a large gathering of soldiers, but now they seemed like their numbers had multiplied now that Ahsoka had been declared an enemy. The shuttle was only a few miles away. Escape was possible.

Once the army had seen Rex trying to leave with the fugitives, they opened fire. Bullets ricocheted off the tough walls in different directions. Ahsoka now had to be wary of where she was deflecting. While also keeping tabs on Maul. He was inching closer to the ship. She wouldn't allow him to get away that easily.

Juggling too many things at once cost her. She felt a blaster bullet just barely graze the surface of her skin. It singed the area and caused a flash of pain. She placed all of her focus on the soldiers. They pushed her and the others further towards the wall. Big containers of supplies were thrown in their direction, taking out significant amounts of the clones. Maul's efforts caused a break in the wave of blaster fire heading their way.

"Let's go!" he said to her.

Ahsoka turned to Rex. "Now's our chance!"

And Rex was about to follow them, but he stopped and turned back to the incoming cluster of clones. "I'll hold them off! You go ahead!"

If she left now, she would have sentenced Rex to his own death. That would have rendered her efforts to cure him meaningless. His chance of survival were low and his armor had already been pierced through. By his own brothers. Ahsoka couldn't have imagined what that must have felt like, even after they turned on her.

Events flashed before her eyes of the two together. Sharing laughs, danger, regret, and grief together. He wasn't just a clone to her, or to anyone else he'd worked with. He truly was as much family to her as Anakin was. To allow him to succumb to all this destruction would make her a traitor. A killer.

"We have to leave NOW!" Maul shouted from the distance. Ahsoka turned her head to him, her eyes filled with intense sorrow. Then her eyes were back on Rex, completely hopeless against this many clones.

A deep constriction formed in Ahsoka's chest. Anger. Against Sidious for turning the Republic's army against them, for playing every faction involved with the Galactic administration, for nearly taking away the person she'd cherished more than anything. For forcing her to ally with an untrustworthy criminal who was likely planning to turn her in for his own clearance.

Most of all, she was angry at herself for letting it happen. Both she and the Council let it slip past her. They chose to trust the Senate - and the Chancellor - above their own members. Even knowing that Ahsoka couldn't have murdered someone in cold blood.

It was building up inside of her and she'd done well to suppress it. But now she could feel her hands shaking as she squeezed her fists tightly. Sidious was about to take everything from the Jedi. Everything from her. After all she'd lost already.

It happened before she could stop it. A wave of her hand and a push much stronger than any she had ever conjured was unleashed. Not all of the clones had been hurled back from where they came from. Many of them clashed together with others. But enough had been shoved far from where they once stood. They all had been stunned without the help of blasters at her strong action.

Her eyes were wide and she was relieved to see that she hadn't accidentally killed any of them, but stood still in horror when she realized she did it with her own anger. She had broken one of the main rules she'd been careful to follow in her Jedi training. When she turned back to where Maul was stationed, her heart caught in her throat.

He had seen her utilize her anger.

And the look on his face was one of pride that she'd allowed it to consume her for at least this short second. Ahsoka wanted to smack that look right off his face.

The clones were about to strike again. Shaking the feeling out of her, Ahsoka ran over to where Rex, himself, had been pushed and helped him up.

"What... just happened?" he asked in a daze.

"It doesn't matter," she said, pulling him up. "Let's get out of here."

Once inside the shuttle, Ahsoka pressed herself against the metal wall and sank to the floor. The pain in her injured arm returned while she played the scene over in her head.

Did I really do that? she asked herself. It wasn't a fatal blow but it was a powerful one. The fact that she did it through her emotions made her feel ashamed of herself. It wasn't the Jedi way.

She forced the thought out of her head.

It was not the Light Side way. The time of associating herself with the Jedi was over. It had been for a long time.

"Here, kid." Rex said as he handed her a medpac.

"Thanks..."

She kept her eyes on Maul while he took initiative to set the ship's destination, wanting to place all of the blame on him. For once, he hadn't been responsible for someone else's misfortune. It wasn't his fault that Ahsoka fed into her anger. And that now her self esteem had lowered because of it.

But now she understood what the feeling had been between them when their hands touched. She had given away a portion of herself. It was the part of her that followed the Light Side of the Force.

Rex rested a hand on her shoulder. "What's eating you, kid? Y'know, besides everything."

Where to begin, she asked herself. "I went through that ship, trying not to hurt anyone. I almost threw all of that away."

Rex sat next to her. "Hey, don't beat yourself up over it. If it weren't for you, I would still be down there. Probably a dead body."

Ahsoka hugged her knees to her chest, something she hadn't done since she was fourteen. "I guess..."

She felt fear at an intense volume at her own abilities, asking what would happen if she allowed it to occur again.

There is no emotion, there is peace.

It hardly felt that way in this circumstance. She had seen Anakin act in sporadic ways due to the emotion he'd felt at the time. He was able to reconstruct himself into the practical Knight he was and knowing this assured Ahsoka that she would keep these feelings at a minimum in the future.

She seated herself in the passenger chair next to Maul. His darkness combined with the nearly claustrophobic space between them made her feel like she could suffocate at any minute. The dark pulled at her. If she wasn't careful, she could give into it.

But she was strong. She had to be to make it as far as she had. Taking a few deep breaths, she rested her hands on her legs.

I am one with the Force, she thought. It helped calm her until she felt like herself again.

"I hope it's not too late for him..." she said, softly.

Maul sighed heavily. "You hold too much faith in the Jedi's loyal pet."

I'm starting to think I've been holding too much faith in you, too, she thought without saying. Although someone as skilled in the ways of the Force as he had would probably have caught it.

Instead, she sat back in the chair and watched the mystical hues of the hyperspace. "Anakin... he's like a brother to me." She was too worn out to argue or even defend herself from his comment. "When I left the Order, I felt like I was betraying him. He went through a lot to defend my case and find out the truth. And I..." her voice trailed off for a second. "That was how I repaid him. I couldn't imagine it was easy for him. To adjust to not having me around. I guess in some way... we influenced each other. I didn't influence him enough..." she turned away, sheepishly. "I don't know why I'm telling you this. I wouldn't expect you to understand."

"If only you knew."

There was that same uncharacteristically-sounding voice she heard before. Though it may not have been as uncharacteristic as she thought, as she'd only had this short time spent this close to him. Somehow, it was scarier than his usual state. Seeing him this somber.

"It doesn't seem like you to want to bring peace to the galaxy." she said to him. "Why are you doing this?" When he didn't reply this time, she felt as though her previous assumptions were right. "Why would you want to go back to belonging to your old master again? He's already gotten what he needed from you-"

"Why must you be so interested in my reasoning?" he snapped, the venom returning to his voice. "Is it not enough that I've experienced all Sidious could bring to this galaxy?"

"No," Ahsoka shook her head. "It's not. You don't fool me. You aren't the only one that can sense these underlying feelings."

He turned his head to her. "You might have already received your answer, then."

Ahsoka felt her hands curl again. "So you do want to kill Anakin and take his place?" Her irritation rose and had shown in her voice. "I'm such an idiot to think you could ever do something other than kill and take all the power you can for yourself. Does it make you feel good, to see people suffer? To watch the entire world burn before you?"

It was a rhetorical question, but a part of her felt like she needed to ask. He growled slightly.

"I can be honest by admitting that I'm a murderer." he shot back at her. "Do not lecture me about the sanctimonious teachings of the Jedi. You and your self-righteous Order have done nothing to lessen the galaxy of the people's suffering." He gestured to the ship's windows. "You can see for yourself in the war around you."

"And people like you cause this suffering to begin with." She released the tension in her hands. "Don't you see you have a choice to be something better? You always had a choice and you've chosen to do the wrong thing each time. I'm not going to pretend that everything the Jedi Order has done was in everyone's best interests, but we... I mean, they have done what they can to protect as many people as possible."

"Why do you think they sent you to Mandalore?" Maul's arms were folded over his chest.

Ahsoka fell silent and avoided his gaze, as the answer didn't come to her as quickly as she'd hoped. It had to be because of Master Kenobi's higher experience in fighting to take down Grievous that he couldn't have come. Or Anakin's urgent mission to gather as much information about Palpatine as possible. Ahsoka knew she had become more competent in leading an army, but there had to be another reason.

"Because you're expendable." Maul told her. "They couldn't risk losing one of their most valued members of the Council. Should something happen to you, it would spare them the time to replace those of higher importance."

She didn't believe it for a second. "They sent me there because they knew I could handle you."

"I should have known," The Zabrak shook his head. "You disappoint me, Tano. The treachery of the Council lays right before you, yet you refuse to see it."

"And it was you who told me that Sidious had taken away everything important to you." she said. "But you still believe he'll hold a place for you."

He raised his brow. "My lady, I don't recall ever saying that I had any intention to join Sidious. That was merely an assumption you've made of me. I wish to rid the world of his impending tyranny as much as you do."

"Oh, my mistake," she rubbed her forehead. "You want to kill Sidious and then take the place of extreme power. Which doesn't make it any better."

He stood and rested his palms on the control panel and didn't speak for a second. Ahsoka was worried he was preparing to attack. Though he couldn't have hurt her without also hurting himself in this small ship. With him, however, as long as his enemies were dealt with, it was less of a concern what would happen to him afterwards. "After everything I've endured - the pain, the suffering, the torture - to have all that had been promised to me so close within my grasp..." He lowered his head. "Could it all have been for nothing? All that my master had provided for me?"

Ahsoka wasn't sure if he was still conversing with her.

"I have come so far." he mumbled, almost too lightly for her to hear. "My legacy could have ended on that trash-filled planet. It was my master's guidance and the teachings of the Sith that allowed me to survive. And when I had been resurrected, I had caused chaos in hopes of my master retrieving me. As it turned out, I had been replaced long before. And there was still so much that I had to offer."

She watched him straighten his posture, his fists shaking at his sides.

"'Through victory, my chains are broken'."

Not sure what to say to him, Ahsoka just listened.

"I would have become something even greater." he continued. "And my success has been inhibited by the one you care for." He turned halfway around. "By your master. This could have been my chance to take back what I thought was rightfully mine."

Ahsoka inhaled slowly and began her next statement with caution. "It... it doesn't have to be that way-"

"Enough." Maul cut her off, his vicious demeanor having returned. "Our differences do not matter this time. We have a mutual goal of stopping Sidious before he has a chance to bend the entire galaxy to his will. In continuation of my good faith, I won't kill your master." The fire in his eyes burned slightly. "The time for me to have regained everything I lost has passed. Now..." he held his hands behind his back as he watched the mesh of blue and white speed ahead. "All that matters is putting an end to Sidious."

Ahsoka agreed silently and turned to her spot against the wall, where she sat with her arms around her knees again.

It wasn't clear to her why or how she could ever feel pity for such a vile person. And yet she couldn't help but endorse the feeling of sympathy, because she knew that it was what separated herself from him. The fact that she could express such a feeling for even the most formidable people. Wanting to drag him from the deluded depths of the Dark Side was another feeling that didn't make complete sense to her. It didn't matter to her that he had been through such a tormenting past. He was still responsible for every crime he had committed. Aside from that, he was already far gone to be able to bring him to the light. But she still attempted to do so with a bit of persuasion.

It's because you care, Barriss had once told her after a rough battle in which Ahsoka had felt dejected for using violence. There were faults in caring, however, and she knew some of her missions hadn't ended well because of it. At the beginning, she didn't understand why bloodshed was necessary, something she was still inquisitive about in these current times. The ways in which the Council handled conflict were things she didn't always support.

The Council's bound to be wrong some of the time, Snips. Anakin's words flew through her mind.

And she had seen the evidence of what he'd been saying. At the time, she didn't realize that she would experience it while being an active member of the Council.

If she had the power, she would want to cure everyone of the disease that was the Dark Side and its tendencies. She could have saved all the civilians whose lives were unfairly taken. It was an impossible task, as she'd learned from the encounter with the rogue clones.

You cannot save everyone, Ahsoka. Obi-wan's voice resonated within her.

But if she could save Anakin, then she would have considered it the biggest accomplishment in her life.

Ahsoka held her knees close as she thought of Maul's story. It was sad to think that he could have had any faith that his master would have cared for him as anything other than a tool. And even sadder to see that innocent people suffered because he felt the need to prove himself.

After hearing what he had to say, she'd realized that she may have caused someone she cared about to feel unappreciated as well. The kind of message she gave Anakin when she left the Order wasn't exactly one that showed her love and appreciation for him. That meant Ahsoka may have pushed him closer to the Dark Side by abandoning him.

Her mind had been cleared of all doubts and second-guessing and she breathed in deeply. She allowed herself to be carried within the waves of the Force for a brief second. It felt nice and comforting, and if this had been any other time, she would have stayed there.

Anakin. If you can hear this... I'm sorry.