Back again for another exciting installment! Stay tuned and keep me appraised, dear readers!
Letting it Fall
"What is it like?" Carter asked her during a slow time at the café while she was trying to rearrange the cake so it looked more edible.
"Huh?" Rose countered as she stood up and looked at the teenager.
"Dating a celebrity," Carter explained with a smirk. "I mean, is it all it is cracked up to be? And is it true that John Smith is a huge bastard?"
"Oh, it isn't that different," Rose said as she smirked and worried her bottom lip. She wasn't all that happy when she saw her name covering all of the stupid tabloid magazines a few weeks ago. Someone had managed to snap a picture of John and her kissing and from that started the rumors. One of her favorite said that he was already cheating on her with another blonde, who was just Rose when she wasn't using her crutches. Still, she didn't seem to mind it near as much as John had. "We just need to be more secretive about stuff. And John is a sweetheart, I don't know why everyone says that about him."
"How long have you actually been with him?" Carter questioned with a wink, scooting over to refill the coffee machine as he talked.
"Basically three months…" Rose responded as she considered how the time felt so much longer and shorter at the same time.
Carter laughed at her response, covering it up with coughing before he spoke again. "You are smitten, aren't you?" he continued without waiting for her to answer his question. "Did you know that just the other day one of those reporters came here and tried to get information about your personal life? The good ol' boss told him to get lost though."
"Well, I'll have to apologize for that later," Rose mumbled to herself before she turned to Carter again. "What are they trying to find about me anyway?"
"Any dirt I think," Carter replied, not noticing Rose's expression. "By the way I'm going to his concert this weekend do you think you could get me a backstage pass?"
Rose was too busy internally freaking about what Carter said to answer him. If they wanted dirt, they could easily find it about her. She just hoped they wouldn't find out that she was a dancer at a strip club. That definitely would not go over well and John didn't even know about it and she wouldn't want him to find out that way. Still, she knew that she was going to get her walking cast off the next day and would have to call up Kelly to see if she could get her job back. It was only when Carter cleared his throat did she remember that he had asked her a question. "Oh, I don't know, I'll ask John about it. He'll probably say yes, but his manager doesn't like tons of people milling around backstage."
"But you get to go whenever you want," Carter complained with a sigh. "I just want to make it awesome for my new girlfriend."
"I can't make promises, Carter," Rose reminded him with an eye roll. She wasn't even all that excited about the fact that his tour was already starting either. For the first week he would perform around London, but after that he would be traveling around the country and she knew she would miss him so much more than she should. And there was only five days until he left. The first two concerts she had seen backstage had been very…interesting…but they were bittersweet as well. "You don't even get to see that much…everyone is running about and all of that. I'm not going to the concert tonight…so maybe I can see if you and your girlfriend can come backstage before the concert you have tickets for, yeah?"
"Thanks so much, Rose!" Carter said with a huge smile. "You are awesome, you know that, right?"
Rose just laughed in response as she stepped forwards to help the next customer. It seemed as if everything was going so well for her right now and she had no idea how long it was going to last.
…
Two nights later Rose found herself stuck outside with a mob of people trying to get into the backstage of the concert venue. She called John one more time, groaning in annoyance when it went to voicemail yet again. He had told her that he would be there to let her in like he had the last two times she had come, but he was nowhere to be seen. Sighing in annoyance, Rose leaned against the wall, squinting in annoyance at all the fans who were trying to convince security they had access inside. Her ankle still hurt even though she got her walking cast off yesterday and the doctor proclaimed it was healed. Maybe it wasn't the best choice to wear a new pair of heels…
After about ten minutes Rose was surprised when she heard someone call her name. "Rose?" Rory, one of the stage directors Rose had met before, called out as he poked his head out.
"Yeah?" Rose announced as she pushed forwards and found herself looking at the smiling face of the large-nosed man. "Are you letting me in now? Where's John?"
"Umm…he's busy," Rory replied in a quiet voice as he motioned for Rose to follow him inside. "So it looks like you get to hang out with me!"
Rose giggled at his sarcasm as he led her down the unfamiliar hallway. "Was tonight not a good night to come or something? Because John promised that the kid I work with could come tonight…"
"It won't be that long, Rose," Rory responded as he walked towards the wardrobe section of the backstage. That was no surprise to her, everyone knew he was dating the pretty redhead, Amy, who was head of the wardrobes. "You can help Amy and I scheme a way to get John's hair to stay down for more than a few minutes."
Rose did just that, not allowing her mind to wander. It was only when she saw Jack storming by cursing under his breath when she realized something was happening. Biding Amy and Rory a goodbye she was sure they didn't hear she snuck after Jack, deciding a little bit of exploring was just what she needed. By the time she caught up with Jack she saw him brush out of a corner of the backstage area and she distinctly heard him mumbling that John was being stupid, but he didn't notice Rose standing there.
Rose shrugged and went to where Jack had just left. She was surprised by what she saw. A blonde girl she vaguely recognized was perched on the edge of a table in front of John, both clearly flirting if their body positions said anything about it. "Hi?" Rose said, not knowing what else to say.
"Oh, are you a fan, child?" the women said, sweetly smiling at Rose. That infuriated Rose to no end, why the hell did this person think she had the right to call Rose child? There was no way she was more than a few years older than her, but it was obvious she was looking down at Rose. "I'm Reinette, pleasure to meet you. I'll be done with John in a few minutes, you can come back then, okay?"
"Umm…" Rose mumbled, ashamed of how she was acting so immature about this. Of course she knew who Reinette was. She was the girlfriend John had written his first song for and there was always rumors that she had dumped him and he was always trying to get back with her. "Well…I…I guess….I'll leave."
"And?" Reinette asked when Rose hadn't moved a few seconds later. "John was the one to invite me back here…unless you have a message could we have some privacy?
"You invited her?" Rose asked, knowing her voice had cracked as she tried to figure out which emotion she should be feeling.
Reinette looked back and forth between Rose and John for a moment before she broke out into a wide smile. "Oh, you must be Rose. You look different from the pictures," Reinette said, her voice holding obvious distaste. "Well, actually, I think I better get going."
"Are you sure?" John asked, the softness of John's voice causing Rose's neck to snap up as she gazed at John appearing so nonchalant about the situation.
Reinette assured him it was fine and gracefully jumped to the ground and even had the audacity to kiss John on both cheeks before she turned to leave, brushing past Rose. "John always did have a thing for blondes," Reinette said as she walked past Rose with a smirk on her face. "Though I would have something done about those roots, sweetheart."
Rose stood dumbstruck, not knowing how to look up from the ground. It wasn't fair how pretty Reinette was! No one should be able to be like that, it shot down Rose's self-confidence by a tenfold. "I'm sorry I interrupted," Rose mumbled, not looking up at John as she spoke.
"I thought I told Rory to say I was busy," John said and she could tell he had gotten up out of the chair, but he wasn't making a move to come closer to her.
"He was busy with Amy himself," Rose explained, glancing up and noticing that John actually looked angry. He wasn't even dressed for his concert yet and he was usually more than done by now. "I snuck off to come see you…"
"Can't you ever listen, Rose?" John asked, brushing past her and stalking towards Amy to help him get ready. Rose was surprised, he hadn't even seemed glad she was there at all like he usually did.
After a few moments Rose felt her phone buzzing and automatically answered it, strangely hoping it was John or something. It was Carter who said he had just arrived and wanted to know when they could come backstage. Assuring him that she could come get him and his girlfriend in a few minutes Rose hoped that John wasn't mad at her for something she didn't know she did as she went to the back doors, hoping she would have enough authority to let him in.
Apparently she did because now she had two teenagers following her around asking her questions she didn't know the answer to. Still, she was hoping that she would be able to find John soon so that she wouldn't have to entertain Carter and his girlfriend Alice.
"Thank you so much, Rose," Alice said as she took in all the people bustling around.
Before Rose had a chance to answer she felt someone behind her and slowly turned around. John was standing there wearing what he wore to every single concert that had become synonymous with his name. He had on the trusty brown suit with blue pinstripes and his worn white converse with a swirly tie, except he wasn't wearing a smile like he usually was. "Rose, didn't you say you were going to be in the audience tonight?"
"No," Rose responded, sending him a harsh look before she spoke again, gesturing to the teens behind her. "Remember you said Carter and Alice could come backstage before the show?"
Thankfully John did change his expression and was perfectly cordial to the visitors just as he had promised he would be. The only thing that bothered Rose was the fact that he never acknowledged her presence or even looked her direction.
Rose watched Carter and Alice leaving for a moment before she turned back to John. "You didn't say anything about me not being backstage, John."
"Yes, I did. I left you a voicemail about it," John explained as his eyes flitted towards the teens behind Rose before he looked back at her. "I just thought it would be better tonight?"
"So you could have privacy with your precious Reinette?" Rose asked, not caring about who was listening right now. She just couldn't understand why John had the audacity to act like this around her and it frustrated her so much she had to bite back tears.
"Why do you have to bring up bloody Reinette right now, Rose?" John countered as he stuck his hands in his pockets and turned to look at the people bustling around them. "Come on," John said to her as he latched onto Rose's hand and pulled her with him into an empty dressing room.
"I have to bring it up because of the way you just acted," Rose replied in a sure tone, holding back the urge to put her hands on her hips.
John let out a loud sigh and ran his hands through his hair before he responded. "You are acting jealous for no reason, Rose. Geez, we barely even know each other, you have no right to judge what I do."
Before Rose had a chance to defend her case Rory scrambled into the room with Amy on his heels. "John, they want you over in sound check."
Mumbling about something, John followed Rory out of the room without a second glance at Rose. Standing there for a second, Rose glanced up at Amy, feeling incredibly stupid. Why was she gullible enough to believe that she had something special with John? It always ended the same way for her no matter how she tried to change it.
Thankfully Amy noticed Rose's expression and spoke up. "Come along, you can sit by me during the concert. It'll be good fun and we can analyze every little mistake they make," Amy said in the Scottish accent she never got rid of as she led Rose behind her.
Apparently Amy had done that little game before because she helped Rose come up with things going wrong. To Rose's eyes, everything was going off perfectly as it always did, but maybe that was just because John was on stage and he just oozed charisma in front of those lights. Even though she was confused and upset about what he said she wasn't going to let that ruin her night. And she enjoyed Amy's company quite a bit, much more than most of the other women she had interacted with for years.
About halfway through the concert Rose's ears practically perked up when she heard John say something. Sharing a glance with Amy, she scooted over so she could see him a bit more clearly.
"So the song I'm going to play for you next is really special," John continued as the crowd screamed in anticipation as they always did. "In fact, this song isn't even recorded yet and this is the first time I'm performing it."
"Do you know what song it is?" Rose asked Amy as she waited for John to speak up again, only to be rewarded with a shrug of her shoulders from Amy.
"I really hope you like it and don't pretend like you already know the lyrics, either," John said into the microphone, shifting his guitar a bit. "This song is called 'Stars in Your Eyes' and it is for my beautiful Rose," John explained as Rose glanced down at the floor, hoping her face wasn't burning red. "So here it goes and," John said, glancing towards the backstage area as if he could see Rose. "I hope you don't get mad at me for not singing this song to you first, Rose," John finished as he began strumming on his guitar, a soft smile on his face as he began to sing the song.
"I've heard your song in my head
And where it lead
Was straight to the stars
All I had were my guitars
But I know I can fly to Mars
Although many have already tried
I want you to decide
That I am worth the fight
Because I will fly to a great height
To see you tonight
You have stars in your eyes
And I know I can devise
A space suit to break into
Your galaxies amazing view
I will become an astronaut just for you
And if my space suit ever fails
I know that our love prevails
And you will never let me fall
Because I will answer to your call
And have loved you for as long as I can recall
You have stars in your eyes
And I know I can devise
A space suit to break into
Your galaxies amazing view
I will become an astronaut just for you
My space ship will hold us secure
As we take a tour
Through your galaxy of beauty
Because I know my duty
To always love my precious beauty
That is you
And when all the stars have burned out
I will never doubt
My struggle to win
The stars within
You…
You have stars in your eyes
And I know I can devise
A space suit to break into
Your galaxies amazing view
I will become an astronaut just for you
I know all these words have already been sung
But I just want to say well I am still young
That I fell hopelessly in love with you
When I first passed through
And saw the amazing view
That comes from your smile
Even after you run for miles
You are the one that I will search for
An astronaut at your door
Just so I can tell you once more
You have stars in your eyes
And I know I can devise
A space suit to break into
Your galaxies amazing view
I will become an astronaut just for you"
Smiling like an idiot the entire time he was singing, Rose glanced up at Amy who greeted her with a huge wink. After that Rose enjoyed the concert much more than the first half and had even relaxed a bit. Maybe John had just sung the song for publicity, but she hoped it was because he felt bad for how he was acting before the concert backstage.
The moment the lights went out and the final note was played Rose sat still in her chair, wondering if John would talk to her now. Still, she was surprised by how quiet John was once he came backstage. He hadn't said anything at all, just sought Rose out and immediately pulled her against his chest.
"Oi, John," she said, partly embarrassed at his behavior. Here he was, moments after walking off of a stage full of thousands of fans, and he hadn't even unclipped his microphone yet or spoken to his crew. Just walked right up to her and wrapped his arms around her and buried his face against her neck, oblivious to the fact that he was basically dripping with sweat.
Rory came up behind him and quickly took off John's microphone as Rose gently pulled John deeper backstage away from the probing eyes. "I didn't mean it, Rose…" he whispered against her neck. "I'm so sorry, I can't believe you stayed after that. Oh, God, are you mad at me?"
"I don't know," Rose responded truthfully, thankful when John released her from his arms. "I just want to know why you were acting like you wanted to fight with me."
"I don't want to, Rose," John explained as he grabbed ahold of her hand. "Seeing Reinette here freaked me out. She said you were lying to me and I can't believe her, she was just trying to hurt me again."
Averting her eyes for a moment, Rose wondered what Reinette had said. She assumed she knew about her second job and the fact that she was definitely not planning on telling John. Still, she forced a smile and looked back up at him. "I don't want to hurt you, John. You believe me, don't you?"
"Of course I do, I was foolish to think I couldn't," John said, his face relaxing a bit. "It is just that with Reinette…everything seemed perfect for so long. And then she was the one pushing me to record that silly song for her and I thought it was just because she believed in me. But that wasn't it at all…not long after my song was played on the radio she started talking about how we should get married."
"You don't have to tell me," Rose hurriedly explained, not even sure if she wanted to hear this.
"No, I want, no need to, Rose," John mumbled before he began to speak again. "I was actually planning on proposing…but then I found it all out. She had been cheating on me with my best friend, Harold Saxon, practically the whole time. They had decided that I would be easy to push out into fame and after that Reinette could launch her own career as a model. Then, after having her heart crushed by John Smith and an ugly divorce she could run off to Harold for support. So with that they would hopefully tarnish my career and paint Reinette as an angel."
Staring at the design on his tie, Rose stood for several moments. She already knew bits and pieces, but the whole situation had been morphed by the magazines for more entertainment. She also had to remind herself that this was John's past and she had her own that wasn't too pleasant either. "I'm sorry, John. I would never do that to you, I swear."
"You're special, Rose Tyler," John said as he kissed her on the cheek. "I don't know what I did to deserve you."
Not long after that Amy called to him that he had to change as Rose sat awkwardly on a chair as she watched the flurry of people around her as they packed some things up. "Rose," Jack called out as he flopped into the chair next to her. "Rose Tyler, what happened with you and Doc?"
"We just had a fight," Rose responded as she held back rolling her eyes at him. "It's fine now, don't worry, Jack. He won't just randomly lose his voice because of me anytime soon."
"Listen, Rose," Jack said as he looked at her with more seriousness than usual. "If you are going to be with someone like John you have to be committed about it. Because no matter what people say about him that is what he is about. You see, he wants to be in a relationship, he doesn't just want a fling; he wants to be serious with a girl."
"I know, I get that," Rose countered back to Jack. "And that is what I want too, honestly."
Jack smiled down at her before he got up and headed a different direction. "Good to know. Though you do know that John is my friend first of all. So if you do anything to hurt him…I won't be too happy with you. Of course, sweetheart, if he does anything to hurt you, Rose, he won't be walking on sunshine with me either."
"Thanks, Jack," Rose smiled as he left. Apparently she had a friend in Jack now and for that she was quite proud of herself. If someone like that would enjoy her company maybe she wasn't as bad as she thought…
It was then that John walked back in and set back down in the chair that Jack had just left to go talk to a dark haired girl that had just walked past. "Hello, again."
"Hello," Rose said, giggling at how she had repeated his words. She hesitantly glanced at him, glad to see he was looking much fresher in a pair of jeans and a simple t-shirt after changing out of his suit. Of course Rose couldn't help but lean over and kiss him, pulling away much sooner than she wanted to. "Later, yeah?"
"Huh?" John asked as he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, a pout still on his lips that Rose had pulled away from him.
"Let's go to your place when you're done," Rose said, letting her voice drip with every ounce of seductiveness she possessed. As if that wasn't enough, Rose couldn't help but add a few more words. "That is, if you have enough energy. That concert must have taken quite a bit out of you…and I wouldn't want you to be worn out."
"Really?" John tried to keep his voice at a normal pitch before he responded again, realization dawning in his eyes. "Are you sure?"
"Of course," Rose replied with a quick peck on his lips to emphasize her point. "Though I think you should maybe take a shower or something when we get there, yeah?"
"Shower…" John mumbled with a wide grin on his face. "Fine by me. I will try to not make you wait here that long…promise."
...
Regardless of John's promise it took two whole hours to get out of the concert and get back to John's apartment. He had to meet with some of the filthy rich kids who had paid to see him afterwards and of course Jack had to talk to him afterwards about thing that would have to be changed for next time. Still, Rose wasn't even near tired whenever she saw John look her direction with a wide grin saying he was free to go.
By the time they arrived at John's apartment they were already full on snogging in the back of the taxi John had hired. Reluctantly pulling away from him, Rose followed him up to his room, pleased that John kept his arm tightly around her waist. Once John opened the door she couldn't help but giggle when John accidently ran into a coatrack by the door as he was leaning down to kiss her again.
Soon after that Rose looked around the apartment, not deciding where she should go when John announced he would take a super-fast shower. She considered curling up on the comfy couch to wait or even make a nice cup of tea to calm her nerves, but shot both ideas down rather fast. After all, they were both confident adults about this. So she went straight to John's bedroom and plopped herself right down on his blue bed. Once that was done Rose began to consider what she should have on. She had taken off her heels the moment she walked through the door, but wasn't sure about her light pink dress. Finally she decided to just keep it on as she went to work trying to tame her now messy hair, eventually giving up and pulling it into a low bun.
"Rose? Shut your eyes for a moment, okay?" John's voice called out from the bathroom. Taking his advice, Rose slammed her eyes shut just as he had said to.
Feeling the bed shift beside her Rose figured it was okay to look now and opened her eyes the moment John started kissing her. She automatically reached out to pull him closer, wrapping her arms around his still damp neck. As her hands trailed down his chest, she looked at him for the first time. "Wait a second, you are naked under the sheets, aren't you?"
"Seemed like a waste," John announced between kisses. "Well, I am rather confident tonight, aren't I? Also, I really feel as if I should even up the playing field."
"You better get to work then, John," Rose responded, surprised when the first thing that John did was release her hair from the bun. However, she didn't mind one bit when John unzipped her dress agonizingly slow and was relieved that she had worn attractive and matching undergarments tonight.
"Rose Tyler," John said once her dress was all the way off of Rose. "You know this isn't something that I always do," he explained as he scooted even closer to her, gesturing between themselves. "You're special to me, Rose. And I'm sure about this, about us."
Smiling as he kissed a trail down her neck she thought about how surprising it was that she was here with John right now. "I know, and we are," Rose sighed, letting out a squeak of surprise when John flipped her over so he was hovering above her. "Trust me, I want you, all of you."
…
Feeling John's weight on her, Rose carefully scooted over as she struggled to control her breathing. Only seconds later John sighed and put his arms around her, pulling her against him. He was humming something into her ear, still appearing positively elated. It seemed as if Rose had found a new way to cheer John up…
"Am I staying?" Rose asked as she nestled closer against his warm neck. "I mean, that's okay with you, right?"
"Don't you dare leave," John replied in a quiet tone as he leaned over to kiss her for a long moment. "I want to wake up with you in my arms. Now, let's go to sleep, I can barely keep my eyes open."
"Night," Rose said, tracing a design on his chest as she smiled in the darkness. She wondered how long it would be before she could wipe that smile off of her face. Everything was even more perfect than she could have and she loved it. Literally loved how everything was going in her life at the moment, even if it couldn't last like this forever.
"Sweetheart?" John quietly murmured as he nestled up closer to Rose, already halfway asleep. "I'm going to make you banana pancakes tomorrow, okay?"
Rose giggled at his matter of fact statement before she responded. "Sure, but do you even know how to cook them? Or are you going to just order them from somewhere and pass them off as your masterpiece?" Rose asked, waiting for a response that didn't come. "Hmm…I cracked your brilliant plan, didn't I? I feel like I will do that a lot so don't say you didn't get fair warning."
"I wish I didn't have to leave you," John said as he lightly kissed the side of her neck. "I don't want to go on the tour without you. I'll miss you too much."
"Me too," Rose replied as she spun her neck around to face him. "We'll be okay, right?"
"Of course we will, Rose," John explained with a light kiss. "We'll always be okay."
So that chapter was a lot, wasn't it?
Gabrielle
