The light still held that golden edge of dawn when Clint landed the jet behind a copse of trees in a field. Clint looked at you with that look in his eyes again, and this time you swore you recognized regret. He moved over to Nat to help her. You walked with Bruce, rubbing a hand gently on his arm when you sensed he needed the comfort. The seven of you walked up to the white farmhouse.
As you mounted the porch, you heard Thor ask, "What is this place?"
"Safe house?" Tony replied.
Clint glanced over his shoulder as he opened the door, "Let's hope."
As you walked in you heard as Clint called out, "Honey? I'm home."
You moved into the room behind the others, watching as a woman came out of the kitchen and looked you all over, Clint walked towards her, "Hi. Company. Sorry I didn't call ahead."
"Hey." The woman reached out to him, kissing him quickly before she hugged him. You felt as if the air was being pulled out of your lungs.
When Thor looked at Tony in confusion, he said, "This is an agent of some kind."
Clint turned to face you, his eyes pausing on yours for one brief moment before he said, "Guys, this is Laura."
She waved lightly, looking us all over as she said, "I know all your names."
Tony waved vaguely back and then you heard footsteps approaching. Clint moved away from Laura and muttered, "Oo. Incoming."
Two children came rushing around the corner and he gasped happily. The little girl jumped into his arms as she said, "Dad!"
"Hi sweetheart. Hey, buddy." Clint held the kids close, hugging them fiercely.
You saw Steve's face and would have laughed if you weren't having some kind of panic attack.
Tony being Tony said, "These are smaller agents."
When the girl asked if Clint had brought 'Auntie Nat' you saw for the first time as she came out of whatever it was she had still been stuck in. She hugged the girl just as fiercely as Clint had as Laura moved over and wrapped her arm around Clint's waist. He rested his arm on her shoulders. It was then that you realized that Laura was pregnant, heavily pregnant.
Steve, ever the one for manners, seemed to recover from his shock and he said, "Sorry for barging in on you."
"Yeah, we would have called ahead, but we were busy having no idea you existed." Tony snarked.
Clint looked all of you over as he said, "Yeah, well, Fury helped me set this up when I joined. He kept it off S.H.I.E.L.D.'s files. I'd like to keep it that way. I figured it's a good place to lay low."
You had backed yourself in a corner as the others started to talk to Clint's family. There was a ringing in your ears and your heart was constricted so tight that you were struggling to breathe. You caught the look that Tony threw you but before you could say or do anything Thor was striding out of the house. Steve followed him and wanting to escape you followed.
"Thor?" Steve said.
"I saw something in that dream. I need answers. I won't find them here." Thor said before he took off.
Steve looked at you before he wandered off the porch with a look of pain on his face. You looked back towards the doorway and then you followed him off the porch, needing air. You couldn't face what was in that house. You couldn't face the fact that the man you loved. The man who you shared yourself with, that you loved, was married. That he had a family.
You were sitting on a picnic table and staring off over the fields of this land when you heard someone walk up to you. A glance over your shoulder showed you that it was Tony.
"Hey, Mermaid."
"Hey Tony."
He sat down on the table and looked at you. His face was more serious than you normally saw it, "Are you okay?"
You plastered a fake smile on your face, "Oh, yeah. Totally I'm fine. I just had a knock on the head. I didn't have my head fucked with like the others."
"Mermaid, you know what I mean." Tony said.
"I don't actually." You said.
"Clint. The fact that he is apparently married and has two kids and another on the way."
A spike of pain stabbed into you and you said, "I don't see why that should bother me. I mean none of us knew right? Except for Natasha apparently."
Tony leveled a look at you, "You two weren't as discreet as you thought you were being."
Shock dropped your jaw. Finally you managed to say, "I'm–what? How? Who?"
Tony rolled his eyes, "Just me I think. As for how, well, I mean, you guys were doing each other all over the place. And except for the bedrooms, that whole tower has cameras."
Heat flooded your face and you tried to ignore it, "And you kept this information to yourself for two months?"
Tony snorted, "Don't you mean two years?"
"What? I don't–" Your voice squeaked out and you sighed, "How did you–"
"Cameras sweetheart. Who knew that Barton had those kinds of moves." Tony said with a grin.
"What moves?"
"Oh come on, he managed to talk you into playing something that he is a master at so that he could use it as an excuse to touch you. It was clever. I can see why you're so into him."
"Yeah. I guess it was. But apparently, it was all a lie." You said quietly.
Tony patted a hand on your shoulder and said, "Yeah, well I don't think it was all a lie."
You watched as Tony walked away towards where Steve was chopping wood of all things. When your eyes moved over to the farmhouse you caught movement in an upper window. You saw Clint standing at the window looking out, his wife tucked under his arm.
Your heart broke a little more as you dropped your eyes and moved away from the picnic table. You needed to go for a walk. You knew now that Wanda wasn't talking about Tony when she said 'he will betray you' and that you couldn't trust him. She had meant Clint. And that truth tore your heart.
Clint found you where you were hiding in the Quinjet, "Hey, you got us all worried when you disappeared.
"I'm fine." You answered shortly. You propped your feet on the dash of the jet and refused to look at him when he took the co-pilot's seat.
"Look, we should probably talk."
You snorted, as the light started to fade to dusk and night you had found your anger, "You know Clint, I really don't know what we have to talk about."
"Honey–" He began.
"Don't call me that." You snapped out.
Clint sighed and pushed his hands through his hair, "I know that things are complicated."
Your feet dropped off the control panel and you shot to sitting upright, "Excuse me? Complicated!"
You pushed to your feet and started to walk away. In a flash, Clint's hand hit the button to close and lock the jet door. Whirling back to him you glared at him, "Open the door Clint."
"Not until we talk." He shot back.
"There is literally nothing to talk about." You backed away as Clint rose to his feet and walked towards you.
"I know that this is weird." Clint began again as he stopped in front of you.
The small hold you had over your anger snapped, "Weird? Weird? Yeah, I'd say things are fucking weird."
"Honey–" Clint reached a hand out to you and you backed away further, your back pressing against the wall of the jet.
"I said don't call me that." You snarled at him.
He reached out for you again, his hand brushing your cheek, "This doesn't change anything."
You shoved against his chest but he just caught your hands in his and held them. Rather than yank them away you hissed out, "Doesn't change anything. Clint, you are married. Not only are you married, you have kids. And your wife is pregnant. How can you say this doesn't change anything?"
"I love you." Clint said. He said it super simply like it solved everything.
You pushed a rush of air out of your nose and glared up at the ceiling, "Yeah right."
"I do. Why do you think I don't?"
"You're married." You were still staring at the ceiling, refusing to look at him. He dropped one of your hands and tilted your head down so that you were looking into his eyes. Your stomach clenched with a mix of anger, of hurt, and of desire.
"Being married doesn't change how I feel about you." Clint said, his fingers keeping your head from moving so that you were forced to continue to look at him.
"Maybe it changes how I feel about you." You said quietly. You were doing your best to ignore the desire that was swirling around inside you.
"Does it?"
"You lied to me. You should have told me that you had a family. I had a right to know."
"You have to understand that I have gone years pretending at work that I have no family. I trained myself not to talk about them. To keep them safe from what I do."
"You lied to me." You repeated, needing to stick to that point to keep yourself on the track that you needed to be on. To try and keep the anger fresh.
"Yes. But it doesn't change how I feel about you."
"Does she know?" You asked him suddenly, already knowing the answer in the way his eyes flickered.
"She knows that I fell in love with someone. And that I was unable to ignore that and something happened with that someone two years ago. But she never wanted to know who. I was honest with her." Clint's hand moved from my face to stroke down your arm
You remembered how he had been gone the next morning and how he had insisted that you couldn't do anything more than have that one night. You also remembered the weird things he had said when your relationship started in the cabin. You realized now why he was so quick to keep your relationship a secret. Things you ignored as just weird but not alarming rushed back to you.
"And she stayed."
"She stayed." Clint agreed.
"Does she know about now?" You asked.
Clint shook his head, "I haven't been back home since then. So I haven't told her yet."
"But you will?"
He looked pained, "I don't know."
"If all this bullshit hadn't happened. Would you have told her. Would you have told me that you were married? That you had children?"
"I don't know," Clint repeated.
Your heart clenched at the words. You watched as his eyes darkened as he continued to look at you.
"Clint–" You said quietly as his fingers tightened on you. When he pressed his lips to yours, you stiffened for a moment as your body warred with your mind. As your body started to win, and you started to relax, he tipped his head to change the angle of the kiss, making it deeper.
His hands moved around you and your brain clicked back into place. Pressing gently against his chest you said, "Clint. We can't."
He sighed, resting his forehead against yours for a moment as he said, "I know."
Clint took a step back as you wrapped your arms around your stomach. Then he said, "Laura sent me out here to tell you that if you want a shower, it's open. And to ask if you were okay if you bunked up with Steve."
"Steve?" You tried to ignore the irony of Clint's wife sending him to speak with the woman he was cheating on her with.
Clint shrugged, "Yeah, She's insisting on putting Nat and Bruce together, Tony isn't going to sleep because he's Tony so doesn't need a room, so that leaves you with Steve."
"Yeah, fine. Whatever." For a long moment he studied your face. You refused to meet his eyes and eventually he sighed lightly and turned to unlock the doors and walk out.
This was such a goddamn mess.
