Blaine spent the entire drive to Dalton thinking about what he would find when he walked through the door to Sebastian's dorm. Not only did Sebastian lose his last chance to win a show choir competition, but he also wasn't spending Thanksgiving with his family which seemed alarming, especially given the threat of expulsion on the horizon. He turned on the radio in the car but couldn't seem to find a station that fit the mood he was in. He settled on a throwback station from the early 2000s when he eventually decided that nothing would be enough to get his focus off of Sebastian and onto something else.
When he finally arrived at Dalton, he parked his car in the guest lot and walked into the dorm building that Sebastian lived in. The guy sitting at the front desk was confused as to why some kid dressed in an all-black suit and tie was at the Dalton Academy dorms on Thanksgiving, but Sebastian had called ahead that Blaine would be coming, likely knowing Blaine wouldn't listen to his request to stay home, so he was free to go upstairs to Sebastian's dorm.
He tried knocking a few times before he heard a response. "Hi," Sebastian mumbled as he opened the door for Blaine to come in. His eyes were much redder than they had been that night at his parents' house, and he was wearing a black t-shirt with grey sweatpants. It looked like he hadn't gotten out of bed in hours. "You really didn't need to come. I shouldn't have texted you."
Blaine rested his hand on Sebastian's arm and squeezed it lightly to reassure him that he wanted to be there. "I'm glad you texted me. You shouldn't be alone."
"It's just a stupid show choir competition," Sebastian shot back as he sat down on his bed.
Blaine took a seat text to him. "It's not stupid. I know you don't think that."
"I was going to come tonight. It would've been nice to watch you perform. I drove halfway there before I decided I couldn't do it," Sebastian explained, his head turning away from Blaine.
"I didn't expect you to come," Blaine acknowledged, taking Sebastian's hand in his.
Sebastian's eyes avoided Blaine as they fixated on his window. "Happy Thanksgiving," Sebastian mumbled sarcastically.
It was kind of an odd thing to say in the moment, but the more Blaine thought about it, the more it made sense. Sebastian spent his Thanksgiving in bed for most of the day, upset over the competition. Blaine spent his Thanksgiving at a show choir competition. It certainly wasn't the ideal celebration. But something told Blaine there was more to that comment. The hint of sarcasm in Sebastian's tone indicated that this Thanksgiving was everything but happy. "Why didn't you spend it with your family?" Blaine decided to ask.
"Because my parents are fucking assholes," Sebastian explained, as if it should have been obvious. "I called my mom this morning to let her know I wasn't busy today anymore and she lost her fucking mind because she heard about the drug stuff from the headmaster."
Blaine held onto Sebastian's hand as he spoke. He wanted to show his support but hearing Sebastian talk about his family broke him. Sure, he wasn't close with his dad either, but at least he had the support of his mom most of the time, and he had other family members he enjoyed talking to at Thanksgiving dinner. It didn't seem like Sebastian had anyone. "They're hypocrites, too. My dad has a stash of cocaine in his office and my mom is drunk at least half of the time because god forbid she ever deals with what's really going on." The choked tone of his voice startled Blaine as he realized how close to crying Sebastian was once again. "They caught me smoking weed once and… well, it was really bad. Thank god my drug test came back clean and all the Warblers testified in my favor, so the suspension didn't go through. I don't know what they would have done."
"Sebastian, I'm…"
"But my sister's a fucking angel. She can do no wrong. She's fucking half the football team at her school and she's totally lying about being on the debate team just so she can party all the time, but of course she's the perfect child," Sebastian explained in a mocking voice. "Plus, my dad is definitely cheating on my mom. The worst part is I'm pretty sure she knows and just pretends she doesn't so we can continue looking like the perfect family even though every one of us is fucking miserable."
Blaine found himself at a loss for words as he listened to Sebastian finally open up about his family. He wanted to do something to help but really what Sebastian needed was for somebody to listen, so he kept quiet and let Sebastian continue. "I never get to do anything right." It was clear Sebastian was holding back tears and Blaine desperately wanted to reassure him that he could cry, that Blaine would never judge him. His heart broke when he saw someone who was normally so confident falling apart like this. "I just wanted to win this stupid competition and prove I had it in me to lead a winning team. But I shouldn't care; it's not like it would have changed anything. I would've gone home for the weekend and told my family, and everything would have stayed the exact same. It's always the exact same."
As Sebastian sat in front of him on the verge of tears, Blaine couldn't help but give in to his instincts as he embraced his friend in a tight hug. At first, Sebastian resisted the contact. He didn't push Blaine away, but he did try to turn around. He definitely didn't hug Blaine back. But after a few moments of Blaine holding onto him, refusing to pull away, Sebastian gave in and wrapped his arms around Blaine's back, burying his head on Blaine's shoulder. His silent tears soon soaked up Blaine's shirt, but he didn't mind. Blaine responded by rubbing Sebastian's back as he quietly sobbed into his shoulder.
Blaine felt Sebastian's arms drop so he pulled away from the hug to look at him for a moment. He looked so broken. His eyes were wide and filled with tears and his whole face was turning a light shade of red. For the first time that night, he looked into Blaine's eyes and it was like every part of him had fallen apart, like Blaine's presence was the only thing keeping him from completely collapsing. Blaine just let out a sigh of relief that he listened to his instinct and came to see him because he had no idea what condition Sebastian would be in if he hadn't. Once again, Blaine found himself staring into Sebastian's eyes as Sebastian stared at his lips, that same way he always did. He knew he shouldn't kiss him; Sebastian told him himself that he didn't want anything to happen if Blaine wasn't over Kurt.
As all of these thoughts ran through Blaine's mind, his mind drifted to his conversation with Kurt earlier in the night, how detached and confused he felt the entire time. It was as if Blaine didn't have any interest in following up with the conversation and he couldn't figure out why. He didn't want to defy Sebastian's wishes and he certainly didn't want to ruin all of the progress in their friendship by kissing him, but the way Sebastian was staring at him, so desperate to feel loved, to feel something other than pain…
Blaine didn't think for another second. His lips connected with Sebastian's as his hands found the taller boy's lower back, pulling him closer. At first, Sebastian was stunned, and his lips barely moved, but to Blaine's surprise, Sebastian eventually kissed back. He could taste the other boy's tears on his lips, but he didn't care. At that moment, he would have done anything to make Sebastian feel okay again.
He tried his best to enjoy the kiss, but he couldn't in good faith continue without making sure it was okay, especially after their conversation about Kurt and rebounds and Sebastian's past in Paris. Blaine pulled away and stared at Sebastian for a moment. His voice left his lips in a whisper, clearly hesitant to ruin the connection. "I'm sorry, are you sure you…"
Before he could finish, Sebastian's hand wrapped around the back of Blaine's neck as he pulled him in for another kiss. Every comment he made about not wanting to lose the friendship and refusing to be the rebound went out the window as Sebastian's tongue pushed against the other boy's lips. His hand found Blaine's hair and gently gripped the back of his head as he pulled him in closer.
Sebastian's tears stopped falling as the kiss intensified and Blaine found himself being gently pushed down on the bed so that Sebastian was leaning on top of him as they kissed. He used one arm to hold himself up on top of Blaine while the other roamed all over Blaine's body. It started on his chest and then slowly moved toward his back and then down until he was gripping at Blaine's ass.
The feeling of Sebastian's body against his, his lips pressing into Blaine's, provoked Blaine's entire body to curve into Sebastian's. He found himself gasping for air as Sebastian removed himself from Blaine's lips and started sucking on his neck. The combination of Sebastian's lips on his neck and his hands on his ass led to Blaine instinctively pulling on Sebastian's hair, signaling that he wanted this to continue, that he would do anything for Sebastian to keep doing exactly what he was doing.
It wasn't long before Sebastian was pulling at Blaine's shirt. He unbuttoned the black vest that was part of the New Directions' sectionals costume using only one hand. His tie came off next and Sebastian didn't dare remove himself from Blaine's neck as he worked at his clothes.
Blaine knew he shouldn't be doing this. He knew Sebastian didn't want to risk losing their friendship. But he couldn't stop himself. Their lips felt like they were meant to connect with each other. This was different than the last time; Blaine wouldn't think about Kurt. He wouldn't feel guilty. But of course, he did. Still, he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind as he helped Sebastian slide his shirt off his shoulders.
As his bare chest became exposed, Blaine felt desperate for skin-to-skin contact. His hands toyed with the hem of Sebastian's t-shirt for only a moment before he lifted it over his head and their lips connected again. Blaine's hand rested on Sebastian's bare chest, slowly sliding down as he felt the other boy's abs. They continued like this for a while, skin against skin as Blaine pushed every possible thought of Kurt behind him. This is what he wanted, and Kurt wouldn't stop him from getting it anymore.
Sebastian pulled away first, and for a second, Blaine thought it was over. He frowned as Sebastian stared at him, breathing heavily with his legs straddled around Blaine's waist. "Take off your pants," Sebastian said instead. It wasn't over; Sebastian wanted it to continue.
Blaine let out a sigh of relief as he removed his belt and quickly unbuttoned his pants. He was about to pull them down when he noticed something in Sebastian's eyes. It was doubt. He was sitting right in front of him about to go down on him and clearly unsure of what he actually wanted to do. With everything in him, Blaine wished he could ignore it. He knew if he didn't do anything to stop Sebastian right away, it would be too late, and he might regret it forever. But god, the feeling of his body on top of him, his lips travelling all over his body…
He needed to make this stop. He had to be the person Sebastian needed him to be. "Sebastian, I don't think…"
"Will you just stop talking? I'm so sick of talking," Sebastian rolled his eyes as he leaned down and started to help himself to Blaine's pants.
"No, I know you're not thinking right now, and I know that you're hurting but I don't think you're sure that this is what you want," Blaine explained, each word taking a little piece of his heart. He knew this would change everything. If he pulled away now, he might not ever be able to take it back. He wanted to protect Sebastian, but it felt so good not to.
Blaine was expecting Sebastian to feel relieved that he gave him a way out. He thought that Sebastian's command for him to take off his own pants was his way of telling him he couldn't do it himself and that he needed Blaine's encouragement. But after a moment of silence, Sebastian stared into Blaine's eyes, any hint of sadness and tears gone. "I've wanted to do this for so long," he answered.
Blaine knew that wasn't enough. He had wanted this for a long time, too, but that didn't mean it was the right thing to do at that moment in time. Sebastian knew about Blaine's lingering feelings for Kurt. He knew this wouldn't solve all of their problems. But Blaine couldn't help himself. The way Sebastian's big green eyes were staring at him, he felt like he would never be able to stop again.
Sebastian didn't wait for a response. He slowly removed the remaining fabric from Blaine's body and took him in his hand, starting to stroke him as he stared into Blaine's eyes. Given this new development, Blaine found it almost impossible to stop. He reminded himself over and over again that he shouldn't be doing this, but it no longer had anything to do with Kurt and instead had everything to do with Sebastian. He wanted him so badly, but he didn't know if it was for the right reasons. Sebastian just told him he didn't want to be Blaine's rebound, and now all Blaine could think about was upsetting him.
"What's wrong?" Sebastian asked as he paused what he was doing. He must have noticed something was up.
Blaine tried to say something that would help Sebastian see they couldn't fix everything with sex, but he couldn't get the words out. Something changed in Sebastian. All of that doubt was gone, and he just looked ready, and a little bit annoyed that Blaine kept interrupting him. "Keep going," Blaine mumbled, kicking himself because he couldn't convince himself to tell him what was going on.
Before Blaine could say another word, Sebastian took him in his mouth, moving his tongue in such a way that Blaine knew he was a lost cause. All thoughts of what would happen when it was over disappeared from his mind as he focused on Sebastian's mouth closing in around him, his tongue teasing him while Blaine took a fistful of the other boy's hair. Sebastian moaned at the feeling, taking the motion as a signal that what he was doing was working.
Kurt never did stuff like this. Everything was so basic between them; they would watch a movie, fool around for a bit, and then fall asleep. But the fooling around was always the exact same. Sure, it felt good, but it was by no means amazing and it certainly wasn't interesting, which Blaine didn't even realize until now. This was the most pleasure he had ever felt.
Sebastian could clearly sense the pleasure the other boy was feeling as they locked eyes. Sebastian's green orbs were filled with the most lustful expression, something that forced Blaine to clench his eyes shut because the gaze was simply too much to handle in combination with the sensations being created by his tongue. Blaine was never the most dominant person, and especially never expected to be anything close to that with Sebastian, but he felt so empowered by Sebastian's movements that he used the hand that was buried in Sebastian's hair to guide his head back and forth. The motion led Sebastian to smile a bit, as much as he could given his mouth was preoccupied with something else. "Oh god, Sebastian…" Blaine moaned, his eyes rolling into the back of his head.
As he pushed himself into the back of Sebastian's throat, Blaine's breathing was so heavy he couldn't hear himself think. "Fuck," Blaine said in a loud whisper, gripping Sebastian's hair so hard he thought he might pull it out while his other hand held onto the sheets beneath him, his knuckles turning white. Blaine could tell he was on the edge, about to collapse from the pleasure, but before he could, Sebastian backed off, slowed down a little bit, just to build up the anticipation. "Holy shit, please don't stop," Blaine begged, grabbing Sebastian's shoulder. Sebastian pulled away for a moment with a smirk before slowly reconnecting with Blaine, taking him in the back of his throat once again. Blaine thrusted himself into Sebastian's mouth as hard as he could with his back arched and his hand forcing Sebastian down on him.
Sebastian's hands held onto Blaine's thighs as his head bobbed up and down to the direction of Blaine's hands. "Did you say you wanted me to stop?" Sebastian asked with a smirk as his lips disconnected and he gazed into Blaine's eyes.
"God no, please keep going," Blaine moaned as he tightened his grip on Sebastian's hair and pushed his head back down again.
It only took another two thrusts into Sebastian's mouth before he came in the back of Sebastian's throat. Almost immediately, Blaine's entire body collapsed, and his fingers lost their grip in Sebastian's hair. He took the time to weakly run his hand through Sebastian's slightly damp hair as he tried to catch his breath. While Blaine tried to regain his strength, Sebastian used his tongue to clean up the area, making it a point to hold eye contact with Blaine while he did it. He slowly kissed Blaine's sweat soaked body as he made his way back up to his lips, pulling him in for a weak kiss.
Blaine's eyelids were weak, barely able to remain open as he lifted his hand and ran it through his own hair. There was little trace of gel remaining in his hair and his curls were starting to emerge amidst the sweat. As he tried to catch his breath, he noticed Sebastian staring at him in awe. "What?" Blaine asked, concerned that Sebastian was already regretting the whole thing.
"You look hot," Sebastian smirked, resting a hand on Blaine's chest.
Blaine smiled in response, happy that Sebastian actually seemed okay. He was terrified that this would ruin everything, that the interaction would put them right back to the fight they had at Sebastian's house. Sebastian collapsed beside him, reaching for Blaine to play with his hair as they locked eyes. Blaine wanted to say something, figured he probably should say something so Sebastian knew he wasn't freaking out. But there were no words that came to mind, and the more he tried to think, the more every single phrase seemed wrong. Instead, he just stared, a disbelieving smile spread across his lips.
Sebastian looked as if he was feeling the same way, content with the silence but questioning every second of it. But Blaine could never really read him, never get a sense of whether he would start yelling or crying or smiling at the next moment.
They laid there for a while like this, without saying another word, until Blaine finally had the energy to get up to use the bathroom, realizing it was the best possible way to break the ice. "Can I borrow some clothes? I only have dress pants."
Sebastian stood up and dug through his drawers for a while before he found some sweatpants with the Dalton logo embroidered on them for him to wear. He tossed the pants toward him, smirking. "I think you should just stay shirtless for now."
Blaine felt himself blush at the comment, still awed by Sebastian's seductive nature. After giving Sebastian a teasing grin, he disappeared into the bathroom to change and freshen up. He stared at himself for a while in the mirror, trying to figure out how he felt. He knew he should feel guilty, but he didn't. Everything about this felt right and he couldn't imagine why something that felt so amazing could possibly be wrong. What happened with Eli felt wrong. But this? No way. He was single and so was Sebastian. He wanted to stop trying so hard not to hurt Kurt. It felt really good when he stopped trying.
Blaine returned to the room a while later to find Sebastian lying on his bed staring at the ceiling, still in only his sweatpants and in almost the same position Blaine left him in. Blaine slowly approached the bed and laid down next to him, reaching for his hand. "Are you okay?" He asked, suddenly worried once again that they made a mistake that Sebastian would hate himself for.
"That depends," Sebastian said, turning his head to look at Blaine. "Are you?"
Blaine couldn't help but smile at the sentiment. Even after the horrible day Sebastian had, he wanted to check in on Blaine first. "I'm fantastic," Blaine replied a little too enthusiastically.
It was evidently the answer Sebastian wanted to hear because his lips broke into a small smile at the comment. "Oh really? Fantastic?"
"If I'm being completely honest, I had no idea anything could feel that good," Blaine acknowledged. He knew Sebastian didn't necessarily need an ego boost in the sex department, but he couldn't help it; it really did feel fantastic. He didn't want to admit to himself why Sebastian was so fantastic, but he knew it probably had to do with the hundreds of other dicks he had probably sucked in the past few months.
Sebastian smirked and leaned in closer, his lips only inches away from Blaine's. "Oh, so that's why you came so fast," he joked, his breath warm on the other boy's lips. Blaine gently shoved him in response. "Seriously, though. I'm not surprised that Hummel wasn't doing it for you."
The comment surprised Blaine. He didn't expect Sebastian to voluntarily discuss his relationship with Kurt. "If you must know, I'm pretty sure Kurt only blew me like twice the entire two years we were together."
"Wow, I'm honestly impressed you didn't break up with him sooner."
"Clearly I didn't know what I was missing out on," Blaine smirked, closing the last inch between them with a kiss. Sebastian's hand moved to the back of Blaine's neck as he pulled him closer, playfully sucking on his upper lip.
No matter how tired he was, Blaine couldn't help but melt into the kiss. His hand ventured lower, moving along Sebastian's chest with nothing more than a light touch of the fingertips. Sebastian released a small moan at the touch as he licked Blaine's upper lip, prompting Blaine to slowly open his mouth and let Sebastian in.
It all felt so intimate to Blaine, who had spent the longest time thinking Sebastian didn't want anything more from him than a fuck buddy. Maybe that was still true, but it definitely didn't feel like it as Blaine's fingers slipped into Sebastian's pants and sent a light scratch down his thigh. He desperately wanted Sebastian to feel as amazing as he felt, but he knew he didn't have the energy to do anything right then. Instead, he settled on gently teasing him with his hand, touching him everywhere he could and listening to the soft barely audible moans that occasionally released from the other boy's lips.
Sebastian smiled into their kiss as he felt Blaine's fingers on him. "We should do this again sometime," he whispered into Blaine's mouth, refusing to pull away from the kiss. Blaine smiled in response, unable to pull his lips away.
Their lips stayed glued together, barely moving anymore as they were both close to falling asleep. Blaine's hand remained beneath Sebastian's pants with only his thumb drawing smooth patterns on his leg.
Blaine pulled away first and curled himself into Sebastian's body to position himself to fall asleep. Sebastian didn't protest; he just moved along with Blaine, wrapping his arms around him to compliment the position. He kissed his neck before positioning his head on Blaine's shoulder. "Goodnight, Killer," he whispered into Blaine's ear with a kiss.
As Blaine tried to process all that he was feeling, he really couldn't quite put his finger on it. He was overwhelmed by it all, unable to have the conversation they probably needed to have until he could think straight again. This certainly wasn't going to be easy, especially knowing Kurt was interested in talking again. But all of those were things that would need to be sorted out later, sometime when Sebastian's body wasn't intertwined with his. "Goodnight," Blaine finally hummed as he took Sebastian's hand in his and fell asleep right there in his arms, desperately trying not to worry about the future.
