cws: abuse, fairly mild compared to what happens in the show but there's still some physical and emotional abuse. As well as other violence (imagined gunshot) and the whole fic deals with the theme of character death. And also implied future cannibalism.
The two Lemongrabs always shared their meals, and breakfast was no exception. They sat together at the head of the table, with two plates of bacon pancakes and two identical glasses of lemonade in front of them. The first earl sat in the centre, and Lemongrab 2 sat at his left side. Their brother had explained that the second in command was supposed to sit at the right hand side of the king, but since he was left handed the two of them had made an exception. It always made them feel happy to sit next to their brother like this, even when he was in one of his moods, like he was that morning. He'd been like that most mornings recently.
"Brother, brother, dearest brother..." Lemongrab pestered, like he was just bursting at the seams to tell him something.
"Mmmm what?" The older Lemongrab mumbled at them. Couldn't his twin see he was eating breakfast and didn't have time for whatever stupid thing he'd thought of?
"I have something exciting to tell yoouuu…" The younger lemon said ecstatically, and Lemongrab looked at him warily.
"What?"
His twin leaned over and whispered it into his ear. "I had my croak dream."
Lemongrab swallowed his piece of bacon hard. It left a salty trail down his throat and he felt something inside him tighten. His younger sibling had had their croak dream before him.
Why did it always happen like this? It wasn't fair! He tried his hardest to be a good boy - or, when he realised boys with yellow skin and sharp teeth couldn't ever be good enough, he tried to be acceptable. He followed all the rules, he took his duties as an Earl very seriously. He never ever played with toys outside the camera blindspot he'd found in a cupboard and he was just as ruthless as his mother, and took just as much joy in it.
But despite all this, the one time he gave in to his twin's silly fancies and swapped clothes with him so they could live as each other for a day, the Princess came to visit them. And then, when his twin ran out of the room to get something and they were alone, she gently put her hand on his shoulder.
He'd been shocked. The Princess never touched him. The warmth of her hand was alien but so comforting, so nice. He happily thought that maybe she could tell them apart after all, and she'd recognised him. Her earl. Her Lemongrab. Her son.
"You're quiet today." she said to him softly.
"I-I do not know what toooo say to you," he said bashfully and she smiled at him. It was like the sun had come out from behind a cloud and he smiled back. She loved him after all!
"You're very sweet." She stroked him gently and his mind reeled. Sweet! Sweet not sour! He'd wanted to be sweet like her his whole life. "I always did like you more. Oh but don't tell your big brother I said that, he'll get upset."
She removed her hand and all the warmth in the world went with it. He'd felt as if she'd unsheathed his sword and impaled it right through his lemon heart.
She left and as they waved her goodbye from the top of the castle stairs the rage he'd been bottling up overflowed like a flood. He pushed his twin right down the castle stairs and they scream as they fell was such beautiful music. He looked down at the other Lemongrab sniffling on the floor like a child, blood pouring from their broken nose. "Clumsy." he said disapprovingly to the sobbing lemon, "Very clumsy." It made him feel good for a moment. But it was a hollow joy, nothing like when she touched him. Power couldn't substitute love, especially not the love he rightfully deserved.
That was what angered him the most. He was the first earl so why was he treated like he was second best? The other Lemongrab had been created for him, to be his friend - more of a servant than a sibling. He was as much of a doll as Lemonsweets so why, why did everyone like him more? It went completely against the social order! And now he'd had his croak dream first. The thing that foretold your death and showed you were mature enough to accept your mortality. The rite of passage that signified to the world that you were a big boy now.
It was as if the universe itself had placed its hand on his twin's shoulder and said "I always did like you more."
"Yoouu had your croak dream?"
"Yes yes yes! My very own croak dream!" His twin's excitement was salt in the wound.
"With the cosmic owl?" he asked hopefully, begging for the answer to be no. If the cosmic owl chose to appear to his brother before him that would just be sad.
Lemongrab 2 nodded enthusiastically. "With the cosmic owl aaaand everything! Now I know how I am to die. It feels a little strange… How did you feel when you had your croak dream?"
"Hm?" The question caught him off guard. If it had been him, he would have mercilessly mocked his twin for not having a croak dream. This genuine, unmalicious interest in him and his life, the lack of exclusion, came out of nowhere. "I, well, nnghh.."
"If you have not yet dreamt of your demise do not fret dear sibling!" his brother said quickly, "there is time yet. We are twins, so perhaps our croak dreams will be had close to each other- you may even have it tonight!"
Lemongrab 2 gently placed a hand on their brother's shoulder to comfort him, but his eyes flashed with anger and he slapped it away.
"Do not condescend me, Lemongrab!" he snarled. "I do not need your touches- I do not need anything!" He glared at them until their arm was back by their side, in no danger of trying to comfort him again. "Besides, I have already had my croak dream. I had it nnnngh… waaaay before you were even born!"
"Oh hmm yes I see… You are older, so of course you would have had your croak dream first." His brother believed his lie instantly. "What happened in it?"
"That is aaaa… government secret. Strictly confidential information," Lemongrab replied, which was his answer to any question he couldn't or didn't want to answer.
"Oh but please tell me, I'll tell you my croak dream if yoouu tell me yours," they pleaded.
Lemongrab was now in a dilemma. He was morbidly curious about croak dreams and wanted to know what happened in them, and he also wanted to know how his sibling was going to die. Because despite the hands on shoulders and how much his sibling angered him the thought of never again being asked a stupid question, or gullibly believed and admired despite not deserving it made him feel like a second sword was being probed into his chest. The first anxious prick of what would be agonising grief.
But if he wanted to hear the croak dream, he had to first tell them about his own premonition. Which he hadn't had. It was either make one up on the spot or come clean, and while his sibling would forgive him instantly, he hated how undeserving he felt of their kindness and how small and humble it made him feel. He hated feeling like they had once again got the better of him. The thought alone angered him and he started lying immediately:
"Iiiit started with me in myyy armour, standing with my great steed atop aaaa ledge. I was leading theee Princess' army into battle with my commander stylez. And - and I had a big sword." Lemongrab 2 nodded, and he continued: "I rode right into theee enemies and lopped off all their heads! They went flying like- like THIS!" He picked up his glass of lemonade and neatly threw it out of the window. "I rode right tooo the evil king terrorising our nnggh wunderbar kingdom and jumped off my camel! I drew myyy big sword and commanded him to fight meeee! We sparred but Iiiii was stronger; I drove my sword right into his chest-"
"So he took his armour off then?" Lemongrab 2 interrupted the flow of his story just as he was getting to the good part. "I am confused. If he went to war, surely he would wear armour?"
"No. I was… I was so strong that I could stab him through his steel plate." Lemongrab 2 let out an impressed Ooooh! noise and his brother pressed on, "He fell over, dying for real. But alas! While I was an upstanding, heroic, chivalric knight he was a scoundrel! As he fell down he pulled out a secret pistol and shot me! The bullet went right through my armour and hit ngh myyyy chest!" He paused and drank in the sight of his sibling's shocked face.
"But despite my fatal wound I got back on my steed and rode triumphantly back. I dismounted and collapsed into the princess' arms. Blood was leaking all down my body and she wiped it away. Everyone gathered round, crying and saying things like 'Lemongrab we're so sorry we were mean to you, and called you names, and did not invite you to our slumber parties. We see now that you were always better than all of us, and we beg you for forgiveness, oh great hero.' But I did not forgive them! Mother saw that I was dying of my wound and she told me that she loved me more than anything, and that I had always been her favourite creation. There would never be anything she loved as much as she loved me. For I was her child. Her son." Lemongrab smiled, "She kissed me on the forehead and I died in her arms."
"Wow, brother…" Lemongrab 2 said, their eyes wide. "What an amazing, acceptable, heroic way to die. I applaud your future courage!"
Lemongrab glowed at the praise, forgetting that he had made the whole thing up. That there had been no army, or swords, or guns, and certainly no kisses.
"Yes yees… it is allll true. Completely mmm factual information!" He sidled up to his sibling and said in a low voice, "Now… now tell me… what happened in your dream?"
The younger lemon looked embarrassed and turned back to their uneaten breakfast, fiddling with a fork in shame. "M-My croak dream wasn't anything like that. There was no fighting… and I did not do anythiiiing cool like save everybody."
"I did not ask you what didn't happen, I asked what DID happen! So tell me immediately or I'll have you put in the stocks!" Lemongrab said indignantly.
"Nnngh fine! I'll tell you! But only if you promise not to laugh at me."
"Nngh… fine. I accept your deal."
Lemongrab thought hard about where to start their story. They wanted it to be perfect and just as cool as their brother's croak dream, but they were fearful of how he'd react to anything they said.
They were always fearful of how he was going to react these days. Even simple questions needed to be weighed heavily in their mind before being asked, or he'd get angry. Lemongrab 1 had been colder to them than usual. He'd always had ups and downs and been very volatile, but before, they'd been able to ride the wave of his emotions until it ceased. However, his anger and sadness and misery had turned from a wave into a flood that was directed at them, and there was no controlling or stopping it.
The smallest thing could set him off on a screaming rant or make him lash out at him or the children. Or the smallest thing would go by unnoticed and he'd be the brother he'd always been, overly emotional perhaps but loving, and always watching over them protectively.
They could feel their brother's beady eyes on them, and realised they missed the feeling of being looked at like they were something other than an annoyance. Their brother was curious about what they had to say, he was interested in them, he cared again.
"In my croak dream I was in aaaa weird cave. I think it was a cave because it was all dark, but it was nnngh squishy. And there was this noise… like… do you remember when I saw a knife storm and you let me sleep in your bed?"
It was a precious memory for both of them. It had been the recently created Lemongrab's first time seeing a knife storm, and all those daggers falling from the sky had scared them.
They spent the whole day clinging onto their older sibling's sleeve and when it was bedtime, the sound of the sharp metal clattering against the roof kept them both awake. Lemongrab 1 had felt their shadow fall across his face and assumed they wanted to watch him sleep. It wasn't until they tapped his head that he realised they were still frightened.
They seemed surprised when he peeled back his blanket and let them crawl in next to him. But then again, he hadn't told them about all the nights he'd spent huddled alone frightened of the thunder, or the howling snow, or the fact that there was no one to comfort him. They'd curled up next to him, slipping their head under the blanket to rest it on his stomach and they'd stayed like that until morning.
The first earl had felt so whole in that moment, like a missing piece of him had crawled under the blanket and made him complete. He had always wanted to be his mother's knight, he had wanted to fulfil his earl duties of protecting the citizens so he'd watched him sleep, and then he had wanted to be a real earl with real subjects.
But he'd done it all wrong. And now he finally had something he could protect properly. But the memory was tainted - He wished he'd kicked them out of his bed instead of letting them use his stomach as a pillow.
"When I put my head on your tummy it was making all these weird growling noises - that is theeee same sound the cave was making." Lemongrab 2 explained, blissfully unaware of what their brother was thinking.
"Hmm… strange." Lemongrab said distantly.
"Yeah. I think there was someone else with me, but I did not get a chance to look. It all happened very fast. I heard muffled voices outside the cave, and then… and then I do not quite understand what happened…" They trailed off.
"What do you mean?"
The second earl paused and fidgeted nervously with a fork on the table. "It was like a nightmare," they said eventually, "A very very strange nightmare. Nothing made any sense, and yet I felt as if… it was all inevitable. That the nonsense had a reason, and in myyy dream, I knew why I was there and what I had to do. But I have forgotten now…"
"You are so forgetful, Lemongrab," His brother hissed with exasperation, "You are always forgetting things! You are stupid."
"I remember what happened afterwards! I'm not stupid!"
Lemongrab narrowed his eyes at his younger sibling. Outwardly, he seemed angry, but internally he took immense joy in seeing them plead and scamper around trying to please him. It was, in his opinion, how things should be between them.
He motioned for them to continue and they obeyed. "Hands came into the cave trying to get me but I hid, and then the hands were pulled out. I heard somethiiing screaming and shouting. Mmmm yelling… but not caring… It was happening so fast, I heard not what they were shouting. I think I heard the sound of music being played, faster and faster, and the sounds around me went faster and faster too. It was going so fast and pulling tighter and tighter until something snapped and there was an explosion. I flew out of the cave and realised it was night time and there was aaaa storm-"
"You flew?" Lemongrab asked in a mocking voice.
"It was liiike flying." The younger lemon said quickly, "I flew down a stone wall right onto the ground. Or perhaps I fell…"
"Ha ha!" Lemongrab 2's heart sank; he had promised not to laugh at them. "You fell off the wall like a fool in your croak dream!"
They turned away, embarrassed and angry. "Perhaps I should not tell you the rest of it."
"Nnngh no no! I demand that you reveal it all to meee!"
They smiled slightly then turned back and continued. "I could not move and I saw my severed hand a few feet away. Twitching like a spider."
Lemongrab flinched. He had always been squeamish. "Really? Your hand…"
"Yes." Lemongrab 2 raised their left hand. "It was this hand. A feather fell on it and when I looked up, there was the cosmic owl. All big and shiny. I was thinking about what a pretty bird he was when everything went black…"
They didn't say anything else. They just sat there, with a far-away look in their eyes.
"And then what?" Lemongrab 1 whispered.
"Then I woke up in my bed and I realised it must have been a croak dream."
"I see." Lemongrab 1 wasn't sure what to say. He lived in a world of strict rules and order, and he was an earl, there were certain expectations that came with that.
But he had never been sure about his sibling: a person created to be the companion of a failed experiment, what were they supposed to be? What were they supposed to live up to? While he was scrabbling away in his castle playing prince, his sibling was growing into something new, something different. They weren't like him. He had avoided acknowledging this, but it was true. The one person created to be like him and understand him and stay with him forever, and they'd outgrown him. He hadn't appeared in their croak dream and that could only mean one thing-
He gritted his fangs together hard enough to hurt. They were going to leave him.
"Brother?" they said innocently, and he'd never hated a word more.
"I am no brother of yours."
"What?"
"From now on, you will address me by my name or by myyy title." He turned away from their hurt expression. "And I want you toooo eat there-" He jabbed a finger at the end of the long table, "away from me."
There was a moment of silence between them. Lemongrab 2 couldn't understand what was happening, why was he being so… mean to them? He was their older brother. He was supposed to look after them, like he used to. "Why are you always so angry at me? Have I done something wrong?"
"No." Lemongrab spat. "You do everything right."
Lemongrab 2 picked up their plate and drink shakily and walked in silence down to the end of the long table, across from him. They sat down and gingerly picked at their food, not looking up at him, but he could tell from how they uncomfortably fidgeted that they knew he was watching them.
After a short while, they stood up. "I'm not hungry." they announced, then left quickly.
Lemongrab 1 ate the rest of his breakfast and didn't even taste it. One lump of pancake vanished after the other until the plate was empty. Lemongrab also felt empty. He couldn't stop thinking about his sibling trapped alone in that strange cave, or their severed hand lying on the floor. He wondered if it had still been warm.
When he got up to eat what was left of Lemongrab 2's breakfast, it was cold. He drank every last drop of their lemonade with a stream of it trickling out the side of his mouth to stain his uniform, but he didn't care.
He was still thinking about their left hand, the one he wrote with, lying on the floor, pooling yellow blood.
Yellow blood like his own.
He wondered if it tasted like lemonade.
