A/N: So here it finally is- the chapter everything has built up to. I was irrationally nervous about posting this and spent way too long editing which is why it's a bit later than expected, but here we go. I hope y'all enjoy.
Also warning- I'm not a smut writer at all and went back and forth as to whether to include that specific aspect, and eventually I did. Please bear with me haha, I'm new to this.
Reviews and favorites always appreciated :)
They reached Sebastian's room after a minute of wandering through the mansion. Blaine was careful to follow behind Sebastian, but not too closely that he would provoke another negative response. Still, he couldn't help but admire the faint sweat stains on the back of Sebastian's shirt, and the way the t-shirt clung to his back, daring Blaine to skip all of the feelings and the confessions and just kiss him as soon as he had the chance.
Upon entering the room, Sebastian tossed his gym bag on his bed and then wrapped a towel around the back of his neck as he stared at Blaine and waited for an explanation. "So are you going to tell me why you're in my house?" He asked, irritation in his voice.
Blaine knew Sebastian wouldn't be happy about seeing him. He'd screwed up more than he thought he could with a situation as casual as theirs. As Blaine tried to think of a way to explain what he wanted to say, his eyes wandered around Sebastian's room. It was messier than the last time he was there, probably because Sebastian had actually been living at his house again for a few weeks. There was sheet music all over his desk and lacrosse gear piled up in the corner. The most notable item in the room was the half empty bottle of Courvoisier on his nightstand. It made him feel guilty, like he'd sent Sebastian over the edge and the drinking was his way of trying to cope, like Evie alluded to only moments earlier. "Are you okay? I'm worried about you." Not exactly what he wanted to say, but after observing Sebastian's condition, it felt like this needed to be said first.
Sebastian's eyes followed Blaine's to the Courvoisier. "I'm fine. Stop pretending to care." He stripped off his soaked t-shirt as he spoke, refusing to look at Blaine as the conversation continued. Leave it to Sebastian to carry on with his regular routine as if Blaine wasn't even there. Still, Blaine couldn't help but stare at Sebastian's bare skin, wishing they could skip to the part where everything would be okay again, and Blaine could touch him without getting yelled at.
"I'm not pretending," Blaine insisted as he took a step forward, his eyes narrowing as he tried to show his genuine concern for Sebastian. His heart sank to his stomach as the guilt over his actions the day before consumed his thoughts. "I'm really sorry, Sebastian. I never would have cancelled on you for Kurt under any other circumstances. His dad is dealing with some health…"
Before Blaine could finish his apology, Sebastian interrupted him. "This isn't about you. You really think your predictable return to your ex-boyfriend is enough to send me into a downward spiral? Is your ego really that big?"
"Please stop doing this, Sebastian," Blaine begged. Sebastian's eyes continued to avoid contact with Blaine's, but Blaine had enough of the stupid games, constantly refusing to show each other how they were really feeling. He stepped closer once again and used one of his hands to lift Sebastian's chin enough that he was forced to look at Blaine. "Stop acting like nothing can hurt you when clearly it can. It doesn't make you weak, it just makes you human."
When he realized he wasn't sure what else he could say, Blaine stopped himself from continuing. He didn't want to mess this up even more. That's when he noticed that Sebastian was letting him touch him again; Blaine's hand remained on Sebastian's chin. "What are you talking about?" Sebastian asked in a whisper. His voice came across in broken waves, like it was breaking every bone in his body to even engage in this conversation.
"I came here to apologize to you," Blaine started, still trying to force Sebastian's eyes to look into his. "I wasn't thinking yesterday. I should have at least given you a better explanation and I never should have kept the stuff that happened with Kurt from you."
Sebastian rolled his eyes at the apology, clearly not convinced that Blaine's rhetoric would change anything. "It's not like we're like…dating, or something," he mumbled. It was so quiet that Blaine had to fight to make out what Sebastian was saying. There was so much hesitation in his voice at the word "dating" that Blaine started to question everything.
"It was still wrong."
They looked at each other for a long moment in silence. Blaine was afraid to break it after the way Sebastian had reacted to all of his earlier apologies. Sebastian just stared at him, desperately trying to conceal the pain in his eyes. It gave Blaine a moment to really look at him, to try to figure out how he was feeling. The dark circles around his eyes and redness in his cheeks revealed his exhaustion. His eyes slowly became watery, but Sebastian wasn't going to let Blaine see him cry again. Once was enough. "You said you were never going to leave me behind again," Sebastian replied instead, his voice on the edge of breaking into pieces with every word.
Blaine could vividly remember the moment he uttered those very words as they were lying in bed together that night at Sebastian's house when Sebastian finally admitted to not wanting to be a rebound. "I won't," Blaine replied as he reached for Sebastian's hand. Even if he didn't want to, Sebastian needed to give into the touch. He could never resist temptation when it came to the other boy, and Blaine knew that better than anyone. "It's over between Kurt and me, for real this time. I told him that I wouldn't cut you and the warblers out and that wasn't good enough for him. It just made me realize that I shouldn't fight to be with him if I don't even want to anymore."
Sebastian stared back at him, his hand shaking ever so slightly in Blaine's embrace. "It's done," Sebastian muttered. It was framed more as a question than a statement, but Blaine simply nodded in response. "How am I supposed to believe that? Nick and Jeff saw you making out the other day."
Blaine took a step closer, wishing they could just skip past all of this debate about Kurt and start falling in love again. He kept scolding himself for letting the hopeless romantic in him escape, but he couldn't help it. Standing there in front of him with no shirt and his chest glistening from sweat, Sebastian was gorgeous. "I promise. That kiss just caught me off guard, but I stopped it," he explained, hoping it would be enough to halt Sebastian's curiosity.
"So what does that mean," Sebastian started, pausing as he took a second to read Blaine's expression, "for us?"
For a second, Blaine contemplated what he would say next. He wanted to have something real with Sebastian. But he didn't know exactly what that would look like. Sebastian was never the relationship type and they were only six months away from graduation. "I want to be with you, Sebastian," he finally said. It was easier than he thought to admit how he felt. After all of the fighting and tension and delays, Blaine realized how stupid he'd been for not saying this sooner. "In every way that you'll have me. I think I've known for a long time, but I was scared."
"Scared of what?"
Where could he even begin? Scared of Sebastian not feeling the same way, scared of him jumping ship the second they hooked up, scared of his feelings for Kurt resurfacing, scared of trusting and relying on someone else again. "It doesn't matter. I'm not scared anymore."
He knew there would be problems. Defining the relationship and understanding what it meant to be together would always be hard; that was true of any new relationship. But any of that pain or struggle or heartache would be worth it as long as it was with Sebastian. Besides, none of that needed to be sorted out right away.
There was the faintest sign of a smile spreading across Sebastian's lips, so subtle that Blaine barely noticed it at first until he found himself staring at the other boy. All of the longing to touch him and finally be with him for real consumed Blaine's every move as he finally closed the distance between them with a kiss.
Sebastian hesitated for a moment, clearly afraid to indulge after so long of holding back. But it only took a moment before Sebastian used their locked hands as leverage to push Blaine back against the wall. His tongue gently grazed the shorter boy's lips as their bodies pressed together in the most obvious expression of their desperation to hold each other close. It was like they needed every square inch of their bodies to be attached.
Blaine was sure it was the best kiss he'd ever experienced. This felt so much more real than any of their previous kisses. There was an unmatched layer of desire and almost painful lust in every movement, a fact that drastically escalated the sensation of every touch.
Blaine allowed himself to fall at the mercy of Sebastian's touch. It was like his body was melting to the floor and the touch of Sebastian's lips was the only thing holding him up straight. Everything about the moment felt somewhat demanding, like Sebastian's lips couldn't stand to be disconnected from Blaine's anymore.
All of that desire, all of that longing, and Sebastian still had the ability to pull away, if only for a second. "Blaine, are you sure this time? You're not going to run off to lady face tomorrow and forget this ever…"
"Yes," was all Blaine could manage in response. He needed to be close to Sebastian again or he thought he might collapse. Their hands were still clasped together, and his free hand was still attached to the back of Sebastian's neck, but it wasn't enough. He wanted everything. "You're the one I want," he finally admitted. It felt like a weight being lifted off his shoulders. All this time he kept going back and forth, never really admitting that he felt anything at all for Sebastian. But now, at least some of it was out in the open, and that was enough for Sebastian to embrace Blaine in another kiss, gently supporting his body as they moved to Sebastian's bed.
Blaine's body collapsed on the bed first. He tried to hold himself up, still sitting on the edge of the bed as Sebastian finally removed Blaine's shirt and positioned his body between the shorter boy's legs. Something about Sebastian's control over the situation turned Blaine on more than he expected it to. It was another one of those things that he couldn't help but compare to Kurt, who always wanted Blaine to be in charge, yet wouldn't let things escalate beyond a boring level of comfort.
The transition to the bed was made smooth by Sebastian's swift motions. His still damp, bare chest pressed up against Blaine's as he leaned down to kiss him, slowly starting to lift Blaine's body off the bed just enough to pull him into a laying position. Sebastian kept his hand locked with Blaine's, as it had been for the past several minutes, and used his free hand to unbutton Blaine's pants. The shorter boy was thankful for the movement; his pants were starting to get a little too tight anyway.
Thoughts of the last time they were in this position consumed Blaine's memories as he felt Sebastian pulling down his pants, all the strength in his single hand as he maintained a powerful hold over their locked fingers.
As soon as Blaine's pants fell to the ground, Sebastian started to remove his own. It was an act Sebastian had clearly done plenty of times before because it happened so fast that Blaine barely even felt their bodies pulling apart from each other. Within seconds, Sebastian's lips were on Blaine's neck, and the curly-haired boy felt himself leaning his own head backward to grant Sebastian greater access to his somewhat damp skin. An insecure moan found its way out of Blaine's mouth as he felt Sebastian's lips against his body. He could tell this would leave a mark, but he didn't even care. He wanted to experience everything with Sebastian.
The next sensation pulsing through Blaine's body was triggered by the gentle touch of Sebastian's finger running slowly down his back and eventually ending up at the hem of his briefs. It was then that Sebastian started to pull the fabric away from Blaine's body, down far enough on his legs that Blaine was able to kick them away himself. Sebastian slowly began to caress every inch of Blaine's body, taking every spare moment to glance into Blaine's eyes to gauge his reaction.
It felt perfect, like everything was falling into place as Sebastian's fingers wrapped around him. Blaine's eyes kept fluttering closed as he tried to keep his cool under the heat of Sebastian's body. When he opened his eyes again, Sebastian had removed his own briefs and was lowering himself on top of Blaine's body once again, holding himself up with the strength of his muscular arms, which drove Blaine crazy as always.
"You should turn over," Sebastian suggested as he slowly lifted the side of Blaine's body so that Blaine would get the hint and turn onto his stomach.
Blaine grinned as he followed Sebastian's proposal, holding himself up by his elbows as he noticed Sebastian reaching for a bottle of lube and a box of condoms positioned on his nightstand. It was only seconds later that Sebastian plunged himself into Blaine's body with a sense of ease, so much so that Blaine let out a loud groan at the first feeling of the other boy. He started slowly at first, attempting to make Blaine comfortable while also making him beg for more. After the first few thrusts, Sebastian positioned his hands on Blaine's hips to steady himself over his body. "Is this good?" Sebastian asked, his voice sounding breathy but simultaneously ready for more.
Blaine let out a weak whine at the question, so turned on by Sebastian's asking for verification that he couldn't even make out a proper sentence. "Yes, please just… keep going," he finally moaned in response.
He didn't need to ask twice. Sebastian obliged and continued to press his body inside of Blaine's. "I've wanted this for so long," Sebastian mumbled as he pushed just a little bit further.
As much as Blaine wanted to admit the same thing, the words weren't there. He was too focused on the sensations of Sebastian's lips occasionally pressing against his shoulder blades and the top of his spine. The only sounds coming from Blaine's mouth were the soft echoes of whimpers and choking on his own breath.
Sebastian's thrusts in and out of Blaine started to slow as he pressed his chest against Blaine's back and positioned his lips next to Blaine's ear. "Turn around," he muttered into the boy's ear. "I want to look at you."
Blaine quickly gave into his instincts and turned himself over again, gently lifting his legs enough so that Sebastian could comfortably push himself inside of Blaine once again.
Somehow, this felt even better than every previous movement between the two boys. Their lips collapsed together as Blaine tried to keep himself composed enough to make it a proper kiss. Blaine quickly found himself melting into the new position as he moved one of his hands onto Sebastian's back, gently scratching at the bare skin, and his other hand in the taller boy's wet hair, grasping at any way to maintain control over himself. He focused on the taller boy's clenched teeth, his soaking wet body, and the determination in his eyes as Blaine tried to control his own breath.
"Go... go faster," Blaine murmured as he felt a rush of sensations traveling through his entire body.
Sebastian's lips, only a breath away from Blaine's, shifted into a smirk as he obliged, clutching onto Blaine's thighs and pushing them just a little bit farther apart to build momentum. Blaine's eyes were clenched shut as he let out a series of breathless moans.
Only a minute or so after Sebastian started to speed up, Blaine came to the realization that he probably wouldn't last much longer. It was every possible sensation all at once, and Blaine had no idea how Sebastian could possibly do so much with his hands at once, but whatever his secret was, it was definitely working. It only took another few swift movements before Blaine's come stained Sebastian's chest and his head was crashing backward into the pillows, feeling such a sense of pleasure he was certain he couldn't possibly move again.
Blaine could tell Sebastian was close as well, because he didn't stop, he just continued to push himself inside of Blaine as fast as he could, chasing the orgasm he was already on the brink of. Blaine just let it happen, his entire body tingling as he let out several whines. It was almost painful now in combination with his entire body falling into a state of oversensitive panting.
Sebastian was deep inside of Blaine when he came, finally falling from the strong hold of his arms and collapsing onto the smaller boy's chest.
Both boys were soaked with sweat as they lied there together for as long as it would take for one of them to gain enough strength to move. Sebastian's chin fell onto Blaine's shoulder, his face buried in the crook of Blaine's neck. His quickened breaths were flooding into Blaine's ear, but Blaine appreciated every little touch.
For a while, Sebastian didn't even pull out; he just laid on top of Blaine, trying to return to a steady breathing pace. But when he finally started to catch his breath, he pulled out, tied up the condom, and tossed it in the trash in the corner of his room. Blaine could still barely open his eyes as Sebastian handed him a few tissues from the box beside his bed. They both cleaned themselves off in a motion that should not have taken as long as it did but was overwhelmed with an exhaustion so extreme Blaine didn't think he could ever overcome it.
After cleaning off, Sebastian collapsed on the bed beside Blaine, his eyes staring at the ceiling. Blaine did the same, not even wanting to consider the implications of what they'd just done. He was suddenly nervous about what Sebastian really wanted out of this relationship. Did he even want a relationship? He always thought most of this was about sex for Sebastian. Obviously, that wasn't the case. At the very least, they would be friends with benefits. But Blaine didn't want to be just one of the guys Sebastian fucked when he needed to forget about the world; he wanted to be the only guy Sebastian ever thought about having sex with.
Clearly, similar thoughts were on Sebastian's mind as he leaned over and pressed a soft kiss against Blaine's lips. "Are you okay?" He asked, somehow noticing the anxiety in Blaine's eyes.
"I'm perfect," Blaine muttered in response. "Just thinking about us and what all of this means."
Sebastian nodded, understanding the concern. "Stay over. We can talk tomorrow."
That sounded like the perfect plan. After all of the nights they shared together, Blaine wanted nothing more than to fall asleep naked in Sebastian's arms, and that's exactly what he did. The exhaustion from the sex meant he passed out relatively quickly, his mind racing with thoughts of what the next day would bring.
