Blaine woke up to the feeling of Sebastian's warm breath on his neck, maintaining a steady rhythm of consistent heart beats. It was soothing, really, listening to him sleep. Sebastian was one of the most relaxed and naturally charismatic people that Blaine knew, but he was never vulnerable like this. Blaine tried to soak it all in, hoping he'd remember this day forever. The air smelled of the morning after sex, an aroma of sweat and lube and maybe a little bit of latex with a hint of different kinds of cologne. He had to admit he loved it. Despite the usually unimpressive odor of bodily fluids, Blaine wouldn't have asked for anything different.
He suspected that the relaxed feeling of vulnerability is eventually what led to Sebastian's eyes slowly flickering open and looking up at the boy he'd just spent the night with. Sebastian looked beautiful, as always, but there was a new sense of tranquility about him that added a fond layer of depth to his every move, his green eyes suddenly open to Blaine in a way he'd never seen before.
For a while, neither of them said anything at all. They just lied there, staring into each other's eyes, wondering what the other might be thinking, each with a sort of smile on their lips. Yet somehow Blaine knew. Sebastian was happy, sure, but he was terrified. He always was around Blaine. This was a fact that finally became clear to him as they kissed the night before. It became obvious that Sebastian wasn't like this with anyone else, not even his own family, opening up and choosing to trust Blaine through an act as intimate as sex was truly a miracle. But it was a miracle that scared the shit out of him.
Somehow with Sebastian, everything felt natural. It wasn't that same autopilot feeling of driving to Kurt's house for the millionth time just to repeat the same night they'd shared countless other evenings, but it produced a similar comforting euphoria. Unexpected this time, more spontaneous but domestic in the same way. Better, he decided. His hand slowly stroked Sebastian's hair, taking in everything about the simple touch, the scent, the sound of Sebastian's breaths. It wasn't until Blaine's fingers stopped moving that Sebastian's lips finally opened to whisper a few words. "You should keep playing with my hair," he muttered, his voice soft and warm, like he could never possibly feel more at home than he did in this moment.
He certainly didn't have to ask twice; Blaine had already resumed the calming touch by the time Sebastian finished speaking. This time, the touch was accompanied by Blaine leaning down and lifting Sebastian's chin to take in his lips for the most amazing good morning kiss either of them had ever shared. The kiss was met with a smile from Sebastian as he repositioned his hand to pull Blaine's body closer. Blaine's mind immediately rushed to the conclusion that this was it. This was what happiness felt like. "You up for round two?" Sebastian asked, the words vibrating against Blaine's lips.
If Blaine was being honest, he could have spent the entire day doing exactly that. It was winter break after all, and his parents wouldn't even know since they were out of town until the second of January. The first time with Sebastian was enough to prove Blaine didn't make a mistake. Of course, sex wasn't everything, but it was definitely something he didn't realize how much he was missing. He knew they needed to talk, to figure out what all of this meant, but nothing sounded more appealing than a repeat of the night before. "Just once," Blaine mumbled in response as their lips connected again.
Okay, maybe not just once, but twice before they finally got out of bed and each took turns in the shower. Well, started off taking turns until Sebastian "accidentally" walked in before Blaine was done.
After the shower, Blaine insisted that was the last time, at least until they figured out what was going on. "Let's go talk over coffee or something," he suggested as they were getting ready.
Everything about it felt so domestic, which Blaine never thought he'd be saying about Sebastian. Spending the night with Kurt was always fun; they would wake up in the morning and make breakfast together, then pretend to read the newspaper together like an old married couple. But that was the past now, something Blaine thought he'd never feel again after the break-up. Yet, here it was, something so pure with the person he never thought could be capable of such an intimate act, and that almost made it more romantic. "Are you sure you can go in public without your gel helmet?" Sebastian asked with a smirk as he pushed Blaine's hair back, ruining the little bit of gel that Blaine had already applied.
With an eye roll, Blaine put away the gel and turned to face him. "You're just trying to get me back in bed with you."
Sebastian slowly approached him, resting a gentle hand against his cheek, which Blaine leaned into with ease. "Is that such a bad thing?"
Blaine's eyes closed as he leaned his head back to welcome the touch. He could have just let it happen, round four right there in the bathroom before they even left the house. "We need to talk," Blaine mumbled, trying his best to ignore the stimulating touch of Sebastian's lips against his neck. "This is why we need to go somewhere public."
"You think that's going to stop me?"
"No, but it's going to stop me," Blaine laughed as he finally pulled away to give Sebastian a quick peck on the lips.
Sebastian groaned and leaned up against the wall behind them. "Blaine Anderson, you're going to kill me."
Blaine grinned and returned to Sebastian's bedroom to get his keys. "Come on, let's go to the Lima Bean." It was a risk they probably shouldn't have been so willing to take. Anyone from Dalton would have been able to see them, but even worse, so could anyone from McKinley. It would get back to Kurt in a heartbeat, the news that Sebastian didn't even wait for the body to be cold before swooping in to steal Blaine. At least that would be the narrative spread around Lima by the New Directions. But part of him wanted that. It would get the job over with before Blaine would have to do it himself.
They arrived at the Lima Bean after a 40-minute drive, one that was delayed by Sebastian continuously reaching over to play with Blaine's hair, or kiss his neck, or reach for the zipper of his jeans, or do some other teasing motion that was sure to drive the other boy insane. Once again, Blaine found himself tempted to give up on the whole "that was the last time until we talk" thing right there, but luckily, Sebastian pulled away from the brief make out first. "Alright, let's get this talk thing over with. There's a pretty hot guy I'm trying to get back in bed with me," Sebastian smirked as he gave Blaine a sweet kiss on the cheek and then got out of the car.
Sebastian followed closely behind Blaine as they walked into the Lima Bean together. Something felt different about this particular visit to the popular coffee shop. They'd met here hundreds of times, but this time they had a secret, something no one there would know. Sebastian knew the barista by name, and most of the staff had memorized both of their orders by this point. But no one had any idea that today was different. And something about that was exciting.
Both boys sat down with their coffees at their usual table a few moments later after several efforts by Sebastian to hold Blaine's hand or touch his butt or give him a quick kiss. Blaine refused to give into the touches, not wanting to be caught by one of his McKinley classmates that was inevitably sitting somewhere in the café. He'd been ignoring texts from Sam and Tina all morning in favor of spending the day in bed with Sebastian instead, but he still wanted his two best friends to learn this news from him instead of some random person outside of the glee club.
The silence when they sat together was comfortable, a feeling they'd shared often in this very place. But this time, Sebastian was staring at him with a knowing smirk, eyes that communicated the very sentence that Sebastian said first. "You're cute." The words seemed to release from Sebastian's lips without any control. It brought back a memory for Blaine, one he didn't even know he had. Sebastian said those exact same words that night after Scandals. Blaine thought he'd been too drunk to remember most of it, but suddenly he could picture the moment perfectly. His head on Sebastian's shoulder, Sebastian's fingers playing with his hair, Blaine gripping his sleeve like a little kid. He never thought he'd hear those words again. And now here they were, so easy, so natural. "God, I'm sappy."
"I like sappy," Blaine said in response. After all, Valentine's Day had always been his favorite holiday, a trait shared only among saps like him. "We should talk, though."
Sebastian's smile faded a bit, but it was obvious he was trying not to let the talking bring down his mood. They were both on a high that nothing could destroy. "Okay, let's talk," Sebastian said in response, his eyes daring Blaine to say the first words.
This signaled a shift in the tone of the conversation. Blaine no longer felt like they were on equal ground, but that Sebastian was towering over him, his arms crossed as he stared into Blaine's eyes with a sense of mild distress. Talking about his feelings was never Sebastian's forte, so he needed to dominate the talk with body language to show he wasn't weak. "What do you want out of this exactly?" Blaine asked first, deciding not to beat around the bush. Sebastian's deep green eyes were intimidating, and he didn't want to risk his words getting misunderstood by failing to address what he wanted to talk about right away. "Sorry, I just mean what does all of this mean to you?"
Silence. Sebastian hated these talks; it's probably why he just wanted to stay in bed all day and avoid the real world. If they didn't consider the implications of their newfound romance, or whatever it was, then they wouldn't have to confront their own feelings. Plus, Blaine wasn't completely convinced Sebastian had ever had one of these serious talks before. "I think it means we're both hot, and we have good sex, so we should just keep being hot, and keep having good sex."
Blaine let out a disappointed sigh. He should have seen this coming. What more did he expect from Sebastian? "Just with each other?" He asked, hoping Sebastian would be the one to define the exclusivity of their situation.
It wasn't a subtle question; Sebastian knew exactly what Blaine was trying to say. He wasn't cool with Sebastian sleeping around with random guys if they were going to be something. How could he be when the way he felt about Sebastian was so intense? "Sure, just with each other," Sebastian repeated.
Blaine's cheeks reddened at the reveal. Sebastian would give up his life as a wealthy Dalton playboy to have something real with him? It was too surreal of a possibility to consider. "What are we then?" He knew he was probably pushing too hard, but he wouldn't let this go away. After all of the time they spent apart, Blaine wasn't willing to spend any more time left in the dark. "Exclusive friends with benefits?" The sarcasm was hard to avoid, but he tried his best to prevent the snark from invading his voice.
"Blaine, I know what you're trying to do. I'm not good with the labels and stuff, and I don't really think we need an exact definition or whatever. But if you insist, you're probably better suited to come up with that sort of thing," Sebastian said, shrugging as he leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his coffee.
Boyfriends. Blaine thought to himself. The word could've slipped out of his mouth so easily that he was surprised when he noticed it was all in his head. It was probably obvious that's what he wanted, but part of him was afraid that Sebastian wouldn't want to use the label.
The green-eyed boy stared at Blaine, waiting for an answer that he couldn't quite figure out how to give. Even worse than the deafening silence between the two was the third-party voice that arrived uninvited. "Blaine, you should leave." It was Finn. Of course, Finn was here. Of all the McKinley kids that could have showed up at the Lima Bean that day, it had to be Kurt's brother.
Spoke too soon. Blaine shuddered as he noticed the person following closely behind Finn looking even worse than his brother. Neither Kurt nor Finn looked like they'd slept since the last time Blaine saw them, which was alarming given how horrible they already looked two days earlier. Kurt's eyes immediately landed on the warbler sitting across from Blaine, causing him to turn around and start walking toward the car. "Wait, don't leave," Blaine said as he started to stand up and follow after him. After all, if they couldn't share a coffee shop in peace then how could they possibly move on from the breakup? Besides, Blaine would rather be the one to leave. Kurt was dealing with enough.
"Of course," Sebastian mumbled under his breath, just loud enough that Blaine could still hear him.
Kurt shook his head in disbelief as he continued to storm out of the coffee shop with Finn following a few steps behind. "Why isn't your hair gelled?" Kurt asked abruptly when he turned around to face Blaine again. They were outside now, Finn and Sebastian standing in the doorway, exchanging an awkward glance as they tried to figure out what the hell Kurt was talking about.
"Kurt, what the hell does my hair have to do with…"
"You didn't even wait a week? You didn't even give me a chance to deal with my dad before hopping into bed with him?" Kurt yelled, tears filling his eyes and his entire body practically falling apart. The lack of sleep and obvious emotional distress from his dad's cancer was clearly getting to him. Still, he knew Blaine better than most people, and he probably assumed that the messy hair was an indicator of Blaine spending the night at Sebastian's.
Blaine couldn't help but roll his eyes as he yelled back. "What are you talking about? It's been months, Kurt. And we talked about this; it's done," the curly haired boy insisted, his hands slowly clenching into fists as he fought the urge to match his ex-boyfriend's anger. "I'm sorry about everything that's going on with your dad, but this just needs to be done, Kurt. It's already been months. We can't prolong it anymore."
"Why? Because your backup plan won't wait forever?" Kurt snapped, glaring at the tall boy standing next to his brother.
That's when Blaine snapped. Sure, he'd spent years listening to Kurt refer to Sebastian as Blaine's second choice, a backup option for when things with Kurt didn't work out, or when they had a fight and Blaine needed to vent, or when Blaine needed an escape from the New Directions. But after everything, that was far from the truth. Blaine wanted Sebastian more than he'd ever wanted anyone. Maybe it was the years of quietly pining for the leader of the Warblers, or maybe it was Kurt forcing him to suppress those feelings for so long. Either way, Blaine was sick of Kurt standing in the way of something he wanted. "First of all, Sebastian is not my backup plan. He never was. Second of all, this isn't up to you. You and I are done. I'm sorry that it had to end like this, but I can't do it anymore."
Kurt stared into the boy's eyes, searching for any humanity, any doubt. But it wasn't there. Blaine was 100 percent positive that this is what he wanted, and anyone would have been able to tell in that moment. As Kurt's eyes filled with tears, he took a second to process the conversation, desperately wishing that Blaine would change his mind and leave him. But it became painfully obvious that Blaine wasn't leaving, and that he was more ready to move on than Kurt ever thought he would be.
Blaine barely processed the other boy's actions as Kurt turned around and got into his car with Finn. They pulled out of the parking lot before Blaine even had a chance to blink, and Sebastian continued to stand in the doorway to the Lima Bean in utter shock, his jaw forcing itself open as he stared into Blaine's vacant eyes. Something about seeing it all in person meant that Sebastian could finally believe it. Blaine was his and only his now; and Sebastian didn't plan on that ever changing.
Neither boy felt like coffee after the incident with Kurt. They ended up in the car driving around Lima for a while, listening to music and avoiding deep conversation. Somehow, they could speak to each other without saying any words at all. Blaine knew it would be okay. Sebastian wouldn't be mad about Kurt anymore; Blaine wouldn't feel guilty ever again. The unexpected closure given by the confrontation with Kurt meant that they could really start something, and as time went on, it became clear that the something would be utterly amazing.
It was late afternoon when Blaine found himself parking his car on the side of the road near a gorgeous frozen lake somewhere between Columbus and Lima, past a couple of experimental turns and down a long dirt road that brought them to an undiscovered scenic overlook, exposing the young lovers to a perfect view to share with each other.
Without saying a word, Sebastian unbuckled his seat belt and began to wander around the sight, searching for the best place to sit with the Blaine while still admiring the bright yellow sun that shined above the ice. There was a picnic table a few feet below the road that seemed like a nice place to sit, so Sebastian reached for Blaine's hand and led him to the spot, sitting the other boy down right next to him and squeezing his hand to indicate that he never planned on letting it go. Sebastian didn't used to be much for hand holding, but Blaine Anderson changed all of that. Soon Blaine found himself leaning into every little touch, his head falling onto Sebastian's shoulder and his hand relaxing into his tight grasp.
A few moments of silence passed, neither boy wanting to ruin the moment. The serious "talk" they tried to start earlier didn't seem so appealing anymore. Kurt's entrance ruined it all, and Blaine was terrified that if he brought it up again, it would ruin everything. He didn't even look at the other boy, just found comfort in his arms, trying to focus on how amazing it all felt instead of freaking out about the implications of it all.
"Okay," Sebastian all of a sudden mumbled. The word startled Blaine enough that he jolted out of place a bit, shocked to hear the other boy break the silence. Sebastian was never one for speaking first. It was always on Blaine to start the conversation. But this time, something changed. He was finally ready to be honest. Not that the simple phrase "okay" revealed that honesty.
Blaine immediately turned to face the other boy with confused eyes. What could he possibly mean? "Okay?"
"Okay, as in, you're right. Exclusive friends with benefits, boyfriends, whatever. You can call me whatever you want," Sebastian replied, refusing to make eye contact. Exclusivity was new to Sebastian, and it was evident from the tone of his voice. It wasn't hesitance. In fact, Sebastian was anything but hesitant about his decision to date Blaine. His usual confidence, however, disappeared. Somehow, for some reason, Sebastian seemed nervous that Blaine wouldn't return his feelings.
Despite the nervousness in the other boy's tone, Blaine was ecstatic. He could barely hold back a smile as he leaned forward and embraced Sebastian in a soft kiss, one that meant even more than all of the others. Sebastian couldn't hold back a smile as he returned the sweet kiss, inching closer to the other boy as he embraced his cheek in his hand.
The kiss didn't last long before Blaine pulled away with a sudden expression of hesitance and anxiety. "Wait, are you sure? Because I know you've never really done the whole relationship thing before, plus I'm sure Kurt will be at your throat about this. I just want to make sure you're really ready to do this."
Sebastian waited a beat before he replied, simply locking eyes with his new boyfriend and giving the boy a soft smirk. "Of course I'm sure. I don't do anything half ass. And I can handle Hummel. You're worth it."
A/N: Thanks for continuing to read! Reviews always appreciated :))
