and this is
Chapter 1:
"No," Sakura says with a hint of teeth, rocking back on her heels.
For anyone else, it would be a casual movement. Casual does not exist for Sakura. The bastard in front of her knows this. The ANBU lurking in the room know this. It serves as a reminder of who they're dealing with, a reminder of what will happen if she snaps. "I've told you before and I'll tell you again. My answer won't change."
The Sandaime hums slowly as he leans forward, his bony fingers pressing together. Sakura wants to snap each of them one by one, loyalty be damned. Devotion to the village, to her people, burns bright, but to the man in the chair? Only darkness waits for him.
"Sakura-chan," he chides lightly. She clamps down on her chakra before the ANBU get a whiff of her ill intent. Power play after power play— she doesn't understand how Sakumo-sensei ever put up with him. "You cannot fail this team, do you understand? For the sake of the village, you will not fail this team."
For the sake of the village. A boy with black eyes, bleeding and gone and begging for her to take—
For the sake of the village. A boy with sunshine hair and haunted eyes, stepping into her hand, his heart—
For the sake of the village. A baby left alone, a boy left alone, dead and dead and alone alone alone—
He throws her three folders and she catches them without flinching. Flipping open the first and every muscle in her body locks at who glares up at her. It's ridiculous how much he looks like his father, like his mother. Gray hair and dark eyes. Unsmiling though, no joy. Something in her cracks, echoing within the empty space of her heart.
The next one is no better. The Uchiha have always had a distinct look to them, but only one bloodline deviates from the usual straight hair. The boy stares back up at her, a smile splitting his face in half, dimples and all. It looks empty… so very empty. Her knuckles pale as she studies the file quickly and snaps it shut. Empty smiles are a thing she knows too well. (Looking at this boy is akin to looking in a mirror. Sakura has not looked at one in some time.)
Finally, she finds what she fears most: a mirror of the girl she had once been. Weak, smart, naive. Untapped potential hidden beneath wide eyes and a shy smile. Her jaw aches with how she clenches it and Sakura forces herself to look up and meet the Hokage's eye.
Sarutobi Hiruzen looks at her with the distinct look of the cat who caught the canary: smug, knowing, arrogant. Sakura wants to rip his head from his neck. She doesn't though. She should, but she doesn't. At least, not yet.
Because finally after twelve fucking years of waiting and pacing and silently seething, she can look after them. Sakumo-sensei's son will be under her protection. Sasuke's cousin will be hers to guard. And this civilian girl will be hers to mold.
Hers
Pack. (Or streak in her case.)
"We'll see how they do with the bell test," she manages to say, her voice steady and clear. Sakura forces her muscles to relax, slipping into her usual slouch, shoulders heavy with ghosts and bloodied memories. "Am I dismissed?"
Failing this team is not an option. It never will be. Not while she holds their fates in her hands, not while she still breathes. They'll destroy her, she knows. It'll kill her to look them in the eye, to see everyone they're not. But this is her chance, this is her chance. And she will hold it by the jugular, teeth scraping and snarling.
Maybe it's a maternal instinct. Maybe she's been spending too much time with her summons. Either way, nothing will get in the way of her and these children.
Victory flashes in the old man's eyes as he nods. "You meet your team in two hours."
Sakura turns away from the Hokage, letting the placating expression drop, eyes flicking to where the ANBU are hiding in the shadows. Their chakra flinches, coiling tight in the way that betrays their tension. The side of her mouth ticks up the smallest amount before she disappears without a whisper.
.
.
.
"Senpai," Sai's voice cuts through her pretend nap, his shadow falling over her like an omen, a greatly unwanted omen. "You have a team to meet."
Sakura doesn't remove the book from her face, flapping her hand lazily. "Oh? And how do you know about that, kouhai?"
With ROOT taught speed, Sai grabs the book and snaps it shut, (without bookmarking it, the bastard) giving Sakura a full view of his unimpressed scowl. "Everyone knows, Sakura. It isn't a secret that the Sandaime has been trying to pawn some genin onto your hands. So imagine our surprise when you actually accepted a team."
Ah, so he doesn't know whose kids she's got. Sakura huffs, tilting her head back to catch a glimpse of the sun. "And how late am I?"
"You were supposed to meet them three hours ago."
"Ah."
Sai yanks Sakura to her feet, grip unwavering even as Sakura flops on him with the grace of a wet cat. "Why are you like this?" he mutters, adjusting her so he can support her weight.
"Well, you see—"
"Save it," he sighs wearily and Sakura caves, moving off of him to stretch her arms above her head.
She gives him the side eye while Sai stares at her with the air of expectation. He's always been able to find a way to crack her open with a single look— unnerving as well as fond. "He gave me sensei's kid and Sasuke's cousin."
Silence descends like wolves as the two jonin stand there, hidden in the trees. He claps his hand to her shoulder, squeezing briefly. "What are you going to do?"
Sakura turns her head to look at him, jade eyes hardening in the way only broken glass can. "Give them a fighting chance."
"They're not like us, Sakura," Sai reminds her, his grip on her shoulder tightening. "They don't know war like we do. They're… softer than we can imagine, despite everything they've had to endure. Be careful."
Sakura loops her arm around his neck, digging her knuckles into his scalp. Sai goes limp with defeat. "Aw kouhai, you sound so worried for your senpai!"
"More like worried about the hell you're going to put those poor kids through," he grumbles into her side, sighing heavily.
Chuckling the barest amount, Sakura eases up her hold on Sai's neck, ruffling his hair. The playfulness and humor melts from her posture almost immediately as she stands straight and tall. "So," she lowers her voice, near soundless. "How's our rotting issue going?"
Sai's eyes darken as he presses his lips to her ear and tells her.
.
.
.
"Ibiki," Sakura purrs, feet on his desk, tossing a kunai up and down in the air.
"Fuck!" he yells, whipping around to glare at her, lip curled back. "We should put a bell on you."
She smirks and doesn't move from his chair, eyeing the way his shirt stretches across his chest and how the dark coat brings out the soulessness in his eyes. "I'd like to see you try. I'm not here to flirt though. I need psych evals on Uchiha Obito, Inu Kakashi, and Nohara Rin."
Ibiki stares at her like she's grown a second head. "What?" Then he's striding towards her, his scowl more curious than anything. "Why?"
Sighing, Sakura catches her kunai one last time, tucking it away before she leans back. Ibiki tracks the movement, eyes flicking to Sakura's face when she speaks. "They're my genin team."
He— uncharacteristically, and much to Sakura's amusement— chokes, eyes widening before narrowing again. "I see." He's Ibiki, of course he does. "Genin don't get evals when they graduate, Sakura."
"And if I were to bring them in for one?" she questions, eyeing him sharply. If she's going to train these kids (her kids, she reminds herself), she's going to do it right. Sakura will not let history repeat itself, not while she still breathes, not while she still moves.
They won't die under her watch. Sakura refuses to let it happen. Even if they're ghosts coming to haunt her, even if she sees the bloodied past in the future of these children's eyes.
It's the least she owes her team.
Ibiki pauses, humming. "Why didn't you ask Ino this?"
Deflection, the fucking bastard.
"Because you're my favorite."
Two can play at that game.
"And if I say no?"
"You won't, because the favoritism is largely mutual."
They stare each other to the bone, raw. Sakura tilts her chin, defiant, while Ibiki glares at her, distasteful. "So they passed your test already?"
"I'm actually..." she glances at the sun. "Six hours late to meeting them, so no. But they're going to. Orders from the higher ups and all."
His fingers flex at the information and she inclines her head in agreement. There stands a small, selective group of people that are aware of just how corrupt the Leaf is, an even smaller group that knows of Sakura and Sai's plans of uprooting.
Only those who have seen the underbelly of the village, who have gutted it from the inside out, tumbled through the gore, and found themselves standing slathered in betrayal and death, could ever understand what they are trying to do.
Humanity is a vile, ugly beast. One that will eat and eat and eat, no matter how engorged it becomes. They say that if you cut the head off the snake, it dies, but not if it's a hydra. Then you must burn it.
"I'll schedule time to see them," Ibiki confirms, his hand resting on her head, ruffling ever so slightly before pulling back. Intimacy was like that with Ibiki; fleeting, gentle. "Now get the fuck out of here. Some of us actually have shit to do."
Snorting, Sakura flash-steps from the chair, planting a kiss on his cheek before closing the door behind her. Ibiki's deep laughter filters through the wall. A small smile finds its way onto her lips as Sakura shoves her hand into her pocket, flipping open her book with the other.
She takes her time wandering through the village, the book keeping away any unnecessary conversations. The school has long since been emptied but, unsurprisingly, three chakra signatures flicker from inside.
Annoyed. Anxious. Angry.
Amusement runs up her spine, the corner of her mouth twitching up as she shunshins in front of the door. Sakura folds the page she's on, tucking the book into her flak jacket before sliding the door open and—
Chalk dust floods the air around her. Not for the first time she's thankful for the mask, though it's going to be a pain in the ass to get all this shit out of her hair. Loud laughter erupts from inside the classroom, the sound grating and wholly obnoxious.
Signlessly, Sakura produces a low level wind jutsu to clear the dust and reveal her first ghost. Uchiha Obito stands there, doubled over, knees threatening to buckle as he laughs. Orange catches her eye first. Orange. Or—
Sakura tears her eyes from Naru— Obito to find the girl, Rin, staring at her in mortification, heat rising up her neck and cheeks. "I— um! We're—" Her eyes fill with embarrassed tears and Sakura sighs, reaching up to pick the eraser from her head and dropping it on the ground.
Kakashi sits near the window, staring out. Brooding, angry. He looks at her, dark eyes unfocused before sharpening harshly when they make contact. The vice grip on her heart constricts because Naruto, because Sasuke, because Sakumo-sensei—
Breathe. In and out. In and out. In and out. Good. Keep it up.
"Meet me on the roof in forty-five seconds." She's gone in the next breath.
Her hands shake, they sweat. Sakura forces air into her lungs as she grips the railing of the roof until it gives under her strength, caving and groaning. Chakra hums under her skin, aching to be used.
She can handle it. She's survived this long, she can do it a few years more. Her name is Haruno Sakura and she will endure as she always has: with a steel spine, a coward's heart, and unfiltered rage.
Sensei's kid. Sasuke's cousin. Medical prodigy.
It's like fate finds her misery hilarious. It probably does.
Pounding footsteps echo from the stairwell before the door flies open, revealing Obito and Rin panting heavily, Kakashi right behind them. All three eyes find her immediately and their gazes burnburn burn.
"Made it with a second to spare," Sakura announces, turning to lean against the railing, hiding the damage she's done. "Impressive." That isn't exactly true, because it took more than forty-five seconds, but no one said anything. A disaster already. Great.
They stare at her. She stares back.
Fuck, what did sensei do again? Sakura ransacks her racing mind, fingers flexing. Naruto and Sasuke bickered mostly, throwing hands and insults like snowballs, but the first time… Oh.
"Right, we should do introductions. Just tell me your name, what you like, dislike, and a dream or whatever."
Kakashi's eyes pierce her, lips tugging downward. He has a beauty mark just like his mother. "You should go first, sensei."
Of course he would say that.
Clapping her hands, Sakura steps forward, noting how they all flinch back with a frown. "My name is Haruno Sakura. You can call me Sakura-sensei. I like cats, and tempura. I dislike… a lot of things. My dream," She pauses, studying their faces, weighing. Truth or vague wording? "My dream is to find peace." One step at a time, Sakura. One step at a time.
"I'm next!" Obito cuts in, pumping his fist in the air. She wonders why he pretends so much, how much energy he spends pretending. "I'm Uchiha Obito. I like turtles and dislike bullies. My dream is to become Hokage! And…" He trails off, a flicker of something dark in his eye catching the sun's last rays. "That's it!"
It's becoming a theme with this team, allowing lies to slink under the rug. But after Ibiki's evaluation, she'll know exactly what's lurking behind those dark, dark eyes of his.
Sakura turns to look at Rin expectantly. The girl squeaks but then straightens her spine, fists curling at her sides. "My name is Nohara Rin. I like learning and my friends. I dislike formal clothes and, um, tea? My dream is to keep my precious people safe."
Good, very good. Sakura nods, offering a slight smile, eyes crinkling up. Rin doesn't have baggage like the boys, which means Sakura won't have to be as nice when pushing her past her limits. Like clay, Rin remains malleable, moldable, waiting for Sakura's capable hands.
Peering at Kakashi, he returns her look stubbornly before his lips thin. He slants a look to his teammates, considering, then back to Sakura, reproachful. There's something equivalent to fire in his eyes, nothing close to warm, but all too similar to destruction. Sakura will need all the fire she can get. "My name is Inu Kakashi. I like dogs. I dislike hot weather. My dream is to get into ANBU."
A thing of anger, Sakumo-sensei's son. Guilt surges forward and threatens to consume her whole but she pushes it down, stomping on it. Sakura's lip curls in distaste at his words but she doesn't voice it. Kakashi won't be touching ANBU with a ten foot pole… not if she has anything to do with it.
Nodding, Sakura surveys the genin: thin wrists, thinner muscle, baby fat still lining their cheeks. Utterly breakable. She's going to fix that, remake them of steel and blood. These children, her children, will rise from their own ashes.
Hers.
Sai's words echo in her head. She tightens her hands into fists, crouching down so that she's eye level with them. "Meet me on Training Ground 7 before sunrise tomorrow morning. Don't eat anything. You'll throw up."
With a lazy two fingered salute, Sakura steps off the edge of the building. And if their scream of horror makes her chuckle the barest amount, no one was around to hear it.
Teaching never called to her like it did to Lee or Shino, but she can see the appeal— Even if she has to teach the remains of her nightmares.
.
.
.
Lee finds her in her usual spot with Sai waiting at the counter for their drinks.
"Ah! My Rival!" He greets exuberantly, sliding into the booth and slinging an arm around Sakura's shoulders. "I hear that you have acquired children of your own!"
Sakura sighs, leaning back into Lee's arm as she gives him the side eye. "I got a genin team, yeah. How're your kids coming along?"
He jumps into a very loud and excited explanation of his students and how their progress is nothing shor/t of Spectacular and Awe Inspiring. Sai comes back, sliding a beer into her waiting hands.
Pulling her mask down enough to take a long swig, Sakura slides her eyes over to Sai, taking note of the amused smirk spreading across his face as Lee slowly winds down.
"So you have a mini-me," Sai concludes, rubbing his chin. "Like we needed another Green Beast."
Lee laughs loudly, head thrown back and throat bared. Sakura can't help the slight smile on her face; Lee's joy has always been contagious. "Ah, my student shall surpass me. As most students do, their teachers say! Sakura-chan, what do you plan to teach your children?"
Sakura blinks, then blinks again. "I was going to give them the bell test to evaluate their individual skills and then decide what to teach them."
"Have you not read their files?" Lee asks, brows pulled together in question.
She scratches her masked cheek. "They'll all receive kenjutsu and taijutsu training.I know Rin wants to be a medic-nin so chakra control is a must. I should talk to the hospital about getting her some lessons, too." Sai and Lee give her a look but she continues. "Obito's a loose cannon, so I'll need to teach him discipline first, but he has endless potential for genjutsu considering his family. And Kakashi… ninjutsu, among other things. He has the reserves and intellect for it."
Sai hums, looking thoughtful. Sakura turns to find Lee staring at her with watery eyes before he lunges forward to sweep her in a tight hug, sniffling. "You shall be a Wonderful sensei, Sakura! Your students will become Great and Honorable much like my Dearest Rival!"
Sighing, she pats his head, ignoring Sai's attempts to mask his laughter behind his cup. It says a lot that Sakura isn't peeling Lee off of her like she usually does. His touch comforts her, his warmth seeping into her bones. Lee has always been that pillar in her life, always the one to yank her back on her feet or shove her when she needs it. She loves and hates him for it in equal measure.
"So it's true you ditched us for a bunch of brats, taichou?" Tenten asks, leaning over the back of the booth, a mischievous look in her eye.
Kiba appears at the edge of the table with Akamaru at his heel before sliding in next to Sai. "Babysitting duty, huh? That's shit."
Prying Lee off of her, Sakura scowls at her teammates— or, well, former teammates, Team Ro answers to Sai now. No longer does she have the shadows to hide in. Everyone knows of the monsters that lurk in the night, but there are never warnings about the beasts found feasting during the day.
"How does it feel to have more children to look after?" she asks Tenten dryly, dodging Kiba's foot to her shin easily as she moves to polish off her bottle.
Tenten cackles, sliding between Lee and Sakura awkwardly and leaning over to steal Sai's drink. "Can't believe you let the old bastard strong arm you into this."
Sai narrows his eyes dangerously at Tenten. She smirks as she takes a long swig, swallowing noisily just to piss him off.
Kiba rolls his eyes, huffing a laugh before meeting Sakura's eye. She doesn't know what he sees but he murmurs a very soft, very dangerous: "Oh."
"What?" Tenten and Lee ask in tandem.
Sakura watches as Kiba exchanges a look with Sai, then glances back at her. His knuckles pale as he clenches his fists, fangs catching the low lights. Akamaru growls low in understanding and Sakura inclines her head. Kakashi's mother had been an Inuzuka, meaning that Kakashi should have been theirs, should have been raised within their clan walls, and should have been loved like their own.
But the Sandaime forbade it.
The gears in Sakura's head begin to whirl as Kiba opens his mouth to explain to Lee and Tenten. His words wash over her like water and Sakura lets them slide off her back as she slumps into the seat's cushion, drowning in thought.
Legally, she's Kakashi and Obito's guardian now, since they're orphans. She could… she could very well adopt them. Could give them a home with her. And her friends— she glances up to find Tenten's lip curled in bloodthirst and Lee's mouth set in a hard line— they could help her. No rule exists against it.
Tenten stands as the village's weapons mistress; her very bones forged of steel. Kiba and Akamaru are legends for their teamwork, being bled and borne of familypackblood. Sai's work with long to mid range battle serves as an invaluable asset to any team. And Lee's ferocity and mastering of taijutsu will be vital for her kids.
Each piece falls into place perfectly and Sakura looks up to meet Sai's eyes, fingers flexing. Anticipation jolts through her, setting her body aflame.
Oh, she would be teaching this team. They will pass her test and then she will break them and build them up again. Sakura will teach these children how to be unkillable, how to be indestructible, how to be immortal.
(Because if they are, then her touch cannot harm them like it has everyone else.)
Not for the village, no. She will teach them to live for each other, that their teammates, their forged family, are the most important thing a person can have. Despite the propaganda shinobi are force fed since birth, ninja owe no loyalty to the Hokage.
The Sandaime may own her body but never her mind.
His first mistake was giving her this team.
It will be his last.
