Lin laid in their bed gazing up at the dark ceiling above her. She could hear Haru's soft, slumbered breathing from his bed, and Bumi's breathing beside her. Even though they were in the same bed, she felt like there was a greater distance than when they had been physically apart the last few days.
He laid turned away from her, near the edge of his side of the bed. Lin glanced at his back, silently wishing that he would roll over, but he didn't.
She glanced back up to the ceiling above. She thought she had felt heartbreak before with Tenzin, but this felt a hundred times worse. Knowing it was her fault just adding to the pain.
When she had finally returned after speaking with Asami - which was painful in its own right - she had followed Bumi upstairs as he took Haru to bed. Haru cuddled between them as Bumi read him a bedtime story, before he fell asleep.
Bumi had silently and gently lifted the boy and tucked him into his own bed, before turning to his dresser. As he started changing, he quietly asked, "are you and the baby okay?"
Lin had watched him from where she sat on the bed, feeling a little upset he didn't even look at her. "Yes. Kya will do a check up in the morning, but other than some morning sickness and being tired all the time, we've been okay."
Bumi nodded his head. "Good." He finished getting ready and left to go use the washroom down the hall without a further word.
Lin had frowned at this, but decided to get up and change as well.
When Bumi had returned, Lin had already laid down under the covers. She was ready to talk a bit more, but he had just slipped into bed and turned onto his side away from her.
That had been a few hours ago now, and Lin was no closer to sleep than she had been then. She wanted to roll over and hold him in her arms, but she didn't want to push when he obviously didn't want to be around her.
After a little while longer, she was unable to bear the feeling anymore and she quietly got up and left the room, only stopping to tuck Haru's blanket back up around him and grab her robe.
The house was quiet as she walked through it. She made her way outside and decided to just walk, enjoying the feel of the earth beneath her feet and the thrum of the tiny life inside of her. It was all she had to cling to at the moment. That and Haru… everything else felt like it was slipping through her fingers.
She eventually found herself in a small hideout on the side of the cliff face; it was just a little cave, and seemed smaller now that she was older. It had always been her spot when she was young and wanted to be alone. She looked out over the bay at the City that even in the darkness, she could tell was in partial ruins everywhere. But there in the centre, was a beautifully glowing spirit portal.
She sat down on the ground and pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her forehead on her knees as her thoughts went back to the conversation she had earlier with Asami.
Flashback
"Look, I uh… I have a confession to make."
Asami frowned. "Is it about what's going on with you? Are you sick?" She asked worriedly.
"Ah, no, I am not sick. It's about…" Lin glanced down at their hands, unsure how to proceed knowing it would break Asami's heart further. She swallowed and then cleared her throat. "It's about your father. I- I was the one who released him from prison. When I heard what was going on with Kuvira, I figured you all would need all the help you could get. And your father, for all his faults, was a genius and he loved Republic City." Lin glanced up at Asami to find her eyes wide with shock. "So I'm the reason your father is dead."
Lin felt Asami remove her hand from her own. She glanced away, guiltily from the young woman beside her, clenching her jaw to hold back her emotions as it was not about her right now. She braced herself for whatever Asami threw at her, whether it be verbal or physical - she deserved either, if not both.
"I don't understand…"
Lin glanced up and saw the tears and hurt look in the girl's eyes. "Asami-"
"How could you? He was all I had left…" Asami's voice sounded more lost than angry, but either way the words cut Lin deep.
"I just thought he could help. I never meant for him to get hurt." Lin said softly.
"He didn't get hurt, he was killed!" Asami snapped.
"I am so sor-"
"Stop apologizing!" She snapped again and stood up, wiping at her face. "I-I can't be here right now."
Lin watched the girl run off towards the women's dorms, her heart sinking into her stomach. She blinked away the tears that threatened to come forward, not allowing herself to cry. This was her fault, and she didn't deserve to cry when it was Asami who was hurt by her actions.
She finally looked away from where Asami had disappeared to and stood. It was time to go and have a conversation with Bumi.
Lin leant back against the wall of the alcove and closed her eyes tightly against the newest wave of guilt.
Sometime later she fell into a fitful sleep.
When Bumi woke up a few hours later, the sun was just starting to enter the room. He rolled over, and found the bed empty beside him. He sighed, running a hand over his face. He knew he needed to speak with Lin, but he didn't know what to say last night, so he had decided to sleep on it. Perhaps he should have at least said something more last night before bed.
He got up and changed into a pair of track pants and a short sleeved shirt, before noticing Haru stirring.
"Morning buddy."
"Daddy!" Haru called out, beaming as he jumped up and into Bumi's arms.
Bumi caught his son, and looked at him a little bewildered. There was no way that the tiny jump Haru did would have reached high enough to land in his arms. That meant he must have airbent himself up. 'Airbent…'
Bumi suddenly smiled and twirled Haru around. "Did you just airbend?"
Haru nodded excitedly. "I can fly like you Daddy!"
"Let's say we go find Mama and tell her!"
"She say it sup-rise for you." Haru said with a smile.
"Oh your Mama knows, does she? Well, I definitely enjoyed my surprise. You know what we can do? Let's surprise Uncle Tenny." Bumi ignored the slight pang that Lin didn't tell him, but ignores it for now. He beamed down at Haru and then whispered the plan into his ear.
The two set off giggling and snickering downstairs towards the dining room.
Breakfast was a little more lively this morning than the subdued tone of the previous day. Everyone seemed to be in better spirits now that the dust had settled more. Even Asami seemed to be a little better this morning, though Bumi could tell she was obviously still upset.
Bumi set Haru down at a spot right across from Tenzin and filled his bowl with porridge. Haru ate a couple bites before hearing his father whisper in his ear. Haru pretended to sneeze and blew on the porridge, sending it flying into the air and onto Tenzin.
Everyone in the room stopped and stared between the little boy and the air master.
"Oops. Sowwy Uncle Tenny." Haru said sweetly, looking innocent.
"Did he just airbend?" Bolin asked, mouth open.
"Sure did! My son's an airbender!" Bumi said proudly, ruffling Haru's hair affectionately.
"That's great Haru, just be a little more careful at the table when you sneeze." Pema said with a badly hidden amused grin on her face. She handed Tenzin a napkin, before grabbing another to help clean her husband up.
Tenzin accepted the napkin, but he surprisingly had a goofy grin on his face that highlighted a little known resemblance to his older brother. He then burst out laughing, which caused everyone to stare at him like he grew a second head for a moment before the laughing was contagious and soon the whole room was filled.
After the laughter died down some, Su spoke up, with a little frown on her face. "Is Lin still sleeping? She should hear about this right away."
Bumi glanced around the room, noticing for the first time that she wasn't at breakfast like he had assumed she would be. "Uh I actually thought she was already here. She was gone when I woke up."
No one noticed how Kya and Nira shot each other concerned looks.
"Maybe she just went to take a walk?" Opal offered. "It's a nice morning out."
After everyone dispersed to set about their mornings, Kya pulled Bumi aside.
"What gives, Kya?" Bumi asked with a frown at her less than gentle yank of his arm.
"Since when do you not notice when Lin isn't in a room? What happened?"
"We may have disagreed about her coming back so soon over the radio the other night. She told me she didn't need me to look after her… Then when she arrived yesterday, when I saw her I was upset. We barely spoke last night and she was gone when I woke this morning."
Kya sighed, running a hand over her face. 'These two idiots, I swear to spirits…' "Bumi, while I understand you being upset with what happened, maybe you should have a little context into what's happened since she has been gone. I mean you already know that she hasn't been handling the news very well. Nira and I are fairly worried about her mental health right now. She has herself convinced that she will miscarry and is carrying around a lot of guilt for something that hasn't happened. I think she pushed to come back so early because it is the one thing she can control right now. Please, just talk to her."
Bumi instantly felt guilty for reacting so distantly with Lin the day before. "She's probably mad at me right now. I practically ignored her, except to ask if she and the baby were healthy."
"I think you'll find she is more mad at herself than you. Hopefully she gets back soon, I want to have a session with her." Kya said, looking out the window into the garden, partially hoping to see a familiar earthbender.
"I guess we both have some making up to do later." Bumi said sheepishly, hand rubbing his neck.
"Don't take the making up part too far. I haven't cleared her yet, and I won't keep Haru tonight." Kya said, winking to her brother.
"You sure I can't just-"
"No." Kya said, before walking away, silently laughing at her brother.
It was mid-morning and still there was no sign of Lin. Toph purposefully kept her distance from the others, as she had known where Lin was since it was discovered she wasn't at breakfast. She recognized from some of the tension in the room that Lin needed this time to herself, so she just quietly stayed out of the way and monitored Lin's heartbeat and the baby's just to make sure nothing was wrong.
Su had never been as good as her mother and sister at seismic sense, so she couldn't help much more than everyone else with the search that had started for Lin. Unlike when she had looked for Bumi that one time a few years ago, this morning the Island was full of activity and it made it hard for her to separate who was who.
"Acolyte Sho said that the ferry has not left the dock this morning, so Lin must still be somewhere on the Island." Tenzin said as he returned from checking the docks.
"I'll go search with my glider suit." Ikki offered and left the living room before anyone could say anything, not that they would have refused her offer.
Mako pulled Asami aside when he noticed her tenseness throughout the search.
"She'll be okay." He said, offering her reassurance. He assumed that she looked tense because she didn't want to lose another parent so soon.
Asami avoided Mako's gaze and looked to the wall opposite her. "I'm sure… But I think part of her disappearance is my fault."
Mako frowned at her, not understanding. "I'm sure it isn't. She's just been under a lot of stress lately with whatever has made her unwell."
Asami sighed, she felt torn. On one hand she realized that Lin had meant no harm in releasing her father, she only wanted to help in the only way she could. But on the other, she now had lost the last piece of her childhood. It felt like her connection with her mother was severed and it hit home that she could never go back to being an innocent little girl again.
"She… She told me she was the one who released my Dad from prison."
Mako stared at her in shock.
"She said that she thought we could use another genius to help us and that she didn't mean for him to 'get hurt'." Asami crossed her arms, hugging herself as if to keep herself together. She swallowed past the lump in her throat. "I may have reacted poorly to the news." She glanced down, one tear escaping and making a track down her face.
Mako lifted his good hand and wiped it away. "I hope you know that she really didn't mean for Kuvira to do what she did. And she was right… without your father helping you, Zhu Li, and Varrick, who knows what would have happened instead." He said softly, hoping not to upset her further.
Asami gave him a weak smile. "I-I know. I was up most of the night thinking about everything. I think I am most upset because I had just started speaking with him again… forgiving him for the past. I realize now I am more angry at the situation and Kuvira than at Lin." She sniffed a little. "But it may take a bit to gain back a bit of trust between us."
"That's fair. Just maybe share a little of that later? Just so you both know where you stand?"
"Yeah I will."
Mako gave her a nod and a lopsided grin, before stepping back. Before he could leave the room though, he was stopped by Asami's voice.
"You know, you're a lot better at this brother stuff than you were as a boyfriend." She teased.
Mako blushed lightly. "Not sure if that was a compliment or criticism."
"It was a bit of both." Asami said, giving him a grin as she shrugged her shoulders. "But I think I am glad we've moved past the awkward stage. I would much rather have you as a brother and friend."
"Same. I mean you as a sister, not a brother. Well you get it." Mako replied, stumbling a little over his words.
"Okay, maybe we aren't completely passed the awkward stage, but almost." Asami gave him another small smile, before heading out to help look for Lin.
Ikki could hear the others calling out for her aunt as she glided above in her winged air suit, her sugar glider friend, who she called Sugar Plum, flying beside her.
She decided to check the beaches of the Island, just in case the older earthbender had made her way down to the water's edge. While passing the cliff facing the City for the third time, she noticed a small alcove she hadn't before. She quickly turned and flew towards it. As she got closer, she could make out the pale green of a pair of pajama bottoms.
Ikki perched on the edge of the open alcove as there wasn't much room to move in further. Her aunt appeared to be sleeping, but not very well if the frown on her face said anything.
"Aunt Lin? It's time to wake up." When Lin only shuffled a little, Ikki reached out and put a hand on her knee, shaking it a little. "Aunt Lin, please wake up."
Lin sat up quickly, before cursing as she smacked her head off the shallow roof of the alcove. "Shit." Lin placed a hand where she bumped her head, before looking around and spotting Ikki. "Ikki, what are you doing here?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. But it's mid-morning and you've been missing for a while. Everyone is looking for you."
Lin sighed. "I must have fallen asleep." She mumbled. She shifted and realized how sore she was from sleeping on the ground. She pulled her hand from her head to help move herself to the opening when she heard Ikki gasp.
"You're bleeding! I'm going to go get help. Don't go anywhere."
Lin didn't have a chance to respond before Ikki flew off. She laid back and placed her hand back on her head to help stem the bleeding. She closed her eyes for a second, and next thing she knew her sister was right beside her.
"Su?"
"What are we going to do with you Lin? Stay still while I bend us out of here."
Lin closed her eyes again as the movement of the stone around her made her queasy. When it stopped it was too bright out, causing her to blink a few times while her eyes adjusted. After they had adjusted, she looked up to find Ikki, Su, Kya, Mako, Bolin, Opal, Asami, and Korra looking at her.
"I'm fine. Just fell asleep." She attempted to get up again, but Kya's sudden hand to her chest stopped her.
"Don't be stubborn, Beifong. Let me look at your head." Kya said in slight exasperation.
Lin didn't argue and let the woman heal the cut to her head. She kept her eyes away from everyone, especially Asami. She sighed in relief when the dull ache was alleviated.
Finally Kya allowed her to sit up. "What in the world were you thinking Lin? We've been searching for you all morning."
Lin huffed. "I'm 54 years old, I don't need you all looking for me. I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep and went for a walk early this morning. At some point I fell asleep. Ikki just startled me and I sat up too quickly. That's all." She said gruffly, hating being treated like a child, especially in front of some of the kids.
"Uh huh, well since you kindly missed your appointment with me, we are going to head there now."
Bolin offered her his hand, so Lin just internally sighed and accepted it. She noticed her hand was covered in blood as she reached to accept his. The sight of it must have triggered her morning sickness or maybe it was the hit to her head, because she paled suddenly. Su only had a second warning by Kya to move out of the way before Lin bent over the spot Su had been standing and brought up the little that was in her stomach.
Kya held back the kids from rushing over. "She's fine. Probably just from the bump to the head. Su and I will get her back to the healing room. Why don't you all just go tell everyone she's fine and having her appointment with me."
The kids hesitated before looks from both Kya and Su had them heading back to the house to let everyone know she'd been found.
Kya and Su then helped Lin stand, once she was finished retching, and guided her to the healing room. Once there, Lin was helped to remove her robe and pajamas, so she stood there in her underwear and a thin tank top she had worn under her shirt.
"In the tub." Kya said, motioning behind Lin.
Su helped Lin to get in and lay down. Kya heated the water so it was warm against her, then started to bend the water to glow with healing energy. She first concentrated on Lin's head again, as being more submerged in water she was able to tell if there was anything she missed with the quick fix she did outside.
"Well you gave yourself a minor concussion. Probably due to your stubbornly hard head hitting the equally hard and stubborn rock." Kya said teasingly. "I've cleared it up, so you should be fine. But I don't want you falling asleep for at least a few hours, I want to do another check mid-afternoon just to make sure it's all good."
Lin just nodded her head.
"Now let's check on our little surprise here." Kya said as she moved her hands over Lin's lower abdomen. "Well you are definitely progressing nicely, the medications are working. The baby's size is consistent with being around 6 weeks along. The heartbeat feels strong. Y-"
"Awe the heartbeat started and I missed it? When?" Su asked, rushing forward to grab Lin's hand.
Lin huffed slightly at her sister's exuberance, before a tiny smile graced her face. "The day of the battle with Kuvira. Mom actually felt it first, then she thought Nira was the one who was pregnant. Essentially I dropped the bomb on her and Uncle Zuko before we were interrupted about the beginning of the battle. I suppose it is one good thing that has come from this, didn't have to sit through their instant reaction."
Kya and Su both rolled their eyes, but smiled themselves at seeing Lin smile even just a bit about the pregnancy.
Kya quickly finished her scan of the fetus and moved onto doing a quick check and healing of Lin's back after sleeping on the hard ground. Lin sighed at the relief, even though she hadn't even been aware of the aches before they were relieved.
"Now, did you eat before you went on this walk?" Kya asked as she helped Lin up and out of the tub, bending the water from her underclothes.
"No, it was very early when I went out." Lin answered as she pulled her pajamas back on.
"Alright, I will go see what I can do to get something made up for you." Su said, moving towards the door.
"No, it's okay Su. I'll make something for myself. It'll give me something to do." Lin said, stopping her sister. Now that she was more awake and clearly thinking, she needed something to do to distract her from her thoughts. "Though maybe after I eat, we can go scope out my house, and see if there was any damage done?"
"I'd rather you not go into the city for another couple days at least Lin. It is still a mess." Kya said as she was filling out a note in Lin's chart.
"I just need my space Kya. I don't know how long I can handle being around this many people."
Sur decided to speak up. "Perhaps Baatar and I can go check it over. We can make sure it is safe, and if so, we can get you back home sooner."
Lin nodded at her younger sister, with a small smile on her face, before turning to Kya and waited for her response.
Kya just sighed. "You Beifong's are going to be the death of me. Fine, fine… You're going to do it anyways."
Lin and Bumi entered their house with a bag of fresh food from the gardens which Pema supplied them. Haru ran ahead of them, taking his badgermole plush with him.
Lin started unloading the fruits and vegetables into their usual places, while Bumi hovered in the doorway. She tried to ignore his gaze upon her, but once she ran out of items to put away, she needed to find something else to do. Seeing their bags near the door, she grabbed them and headed to their laundry room.
She set about sorting the laundry and starting a load. She thankfully heard Bumi and Haru start playing in the living room, and she took the opportunity to go upstairs to get ready for bed. She went and had a warm shower and then pulled on a pair of pajamas. Lin then went to Haru's room and turned down his bed and took out a pair of pajamas for him as well, setting them on the bed.
Getting back downstairs, she went and got Haru a small snack before bed. After cutting up the apple and pouring him a small glass of milk, she brought it out to the living room for him.
"I'm going to head to bed a little early. Haru, your pajamas are on your bed okay?"
"Yes, Mama." He said through a cheekful of half-chewed apple.
"Careful to chew properly, love. Now come say goodnight. I love you." Lin said, beckoning him to her for a hug.
Haru hugged her as tight as a toddler can. "Night Mama. Wuv you." He then went back and grabbed another slice of apple.
Lin smiled at him before standing up from where she had knelt down. She glanced slightly at her husband and her smile lessened, but she tried to show him one. "Goodnight Bumi." She said softly, before heading upstairs to their bedroom.
She climbed under the covers and curled up on her side. Sleep eluded her now that she was laying down. She was still exhausted, but her mind wouldn't stop. Lin closed her eyes tightly and brought the blanket up to cover her head.
'Barely married a week, and you've already screwed it up. Great going Beifong. If it wasn't for Haru, or the pregnancy, he'd be gone by now. Why stay with such a stubborn bitch?'
So lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice when Bumi came to bed.
Bumi stared for a moment at the lump of blankets on the bed, before sighing and quickly getting changed himself. To say he was worried was an understatement. After his talk with Kya, he realized he was only looking at things from his perspective.
He slid into bed beside her, and that is when he realized the bed was shaking from silent sobs. Instantly, he turned and placed a hand on her back. He felt her tense immediately at the touch.
"Love?" He said softly. "I'm sorry for how cold I was last night. I was just concerned for you, and honestly a little upset that you didn't seem concerned for your own health. But I shouldn't have ignored you. I should have talked to you, or at least told you that I still love you, even if I was upset with you."
"It's my fault, I know…" Her voice came out quietly in the dark room. "I'm sorry for lashing out. Everything feels like it's slipping through my fingers."
"It is not your fault. Lin, we have all had a stressful time lately." He pulled her shoulder enough that she got the message to roll over to face him. He took in how tired she looked, her face seemed older than it usually did, the lines more apparent. He reached up and cupped her cheek. "I love you. I love our life we have built together, and it's going to take a hell of a lot more than a small argument to change that. I'm pretty sure there is nothing that could change how much I love you, except maybe to increase it."
Lin blinked, wishing she had a handle on her emotions. She offered him a small smile. "I love you too. I regret not saying that when we spoke on the radio."
"It's okay, love. I know." He leant forward and kissed her forehead. Before he could move back, a hand on the back of his head pulled him down so that their lips connected. It was a kiss full of apologies and love, but it was fairly chaste as they both knew it couldn't go further right now - for many reasons.
Lin ended up in her usual position of her head resting on his shoulder.
"Oh Haru airbent today, he flew right into my arms. I had him blow his porridge onto Tenny… But my younger brother surprised us all by lighting up in excitement instead of annoyance. Kinda killed the prank, but it was admittedly nice to see Ten happy for Haru and us."
Lin smiled, she could picture Tenzin covered in porridge, grinning stupidly like his big brother. "Haru flew into yours, but he flew out of mine." At his questioning look she proceeded to tell him about their adventure at the beach the other day. "I honestly thought he had waterbended until Kya told me otherwise. Should have seen Mom and Uncle's faces when Haru blew the sand at them." She grinned.
Bumi snickered, "I had hoped he had gotten some of our mischievousness. Now it is just ensuring he only uses it on others and not us."
Lin didn't bother arguing that he was more of the troublemaker of them both, she had done her fair share with him before Bumi had left for the Forces. Uncle Sokka had been their biggest coconspirator, usually supplying them with what they asked for with no questions. Her smile dimmed a little as she reminisced about the man who was more like her father than anyone else - though Aang and Zuko had always been a close tie after him.
She was pulled from her thoughts as Bumi spoke again. "Anything else happen while you were away?"
"I felt the heartbeat." She said quietly.
"Really?" He asked in awe, he turned them both so that she was the one on her back and he laid a hand over her still flat stomach. "What was it like?"
Lin felt her heart melt a little at his loving excitement, momentarily allowing herself to be in this moment fully - even if she may regret it later for being too attached. She laid her hand on top of his. "It was - is - one of the best feelings in the world. I have no idea how I went so long without recognizing it with Haru. Oh… Uh Mom, Uncle Zuko, and Izumi know. There really was no hiding it from Izumi. And then Mom actually felt the heartbeat before I did."
"That's okay love. I am not sure how much longer we are going to be able to keep it a secret from everyone else either. Though the rebuilding may distract most of them from this." He placed a kiss on her temple. "And how was being with your Mom? Don't think I haven't noticed you have called her mom, instead of mother or Toph."
"We talked after our radio conversation. I admit it was cathartic. I think we are both at a point where we both are willing to work on our relationship."
"I'm proud of you, love. I know how difficult it is for you to be around her. I am happy that she is making an effort too." Lin offered him a tired smile. "Alright love, it's late, we should get some sleep." As if on cue, she yawned after he spoke. They reversed their positions again, with Lin cuddled into his side. They both slept well for the first time in a week.
