For those who have read Cripplehood– Surprise! I was struck by the dumb™ and was forced to write this in a single day just before I leave for Naval OCS. So here's one last fun bit with BHR for y'all. Also, please wish me luck because I am going to suffer for 13 weeks shortly. Unless you want me to suffer after reading this. That's fair.


He slammed against the bulkhead as the Bon Homme Richard listed heavily to starboard. The blaring klaxon of every emergency siren on the ship drowned out the footsteps of sailors running around him. Taking a deep breath, Captain James Avery pushed himself off of the wall and ducked past unfastened hatchways. He had to find her.

The steel around him groaned as a rumble rolled through the keel of the ship. Another explosion. Lights flickered white and red as the ship's primary generators struggled with the demand. A hand wrenched him backwards.

"Captain, we need to abandon ship."

Frederick Greseth, his executive officer.

James shook his head. "The Richard can still make it back to port. We just need to keep pushing the flames away from the vital compartments."

"Sir, the fire fighting teams are nearly spent. We've already lost a third of them. It's been three hours and the fires have only spread." He gripped the Captain's other shoulder tightly. "Please. Call the order."

A flurry of emotions warred on the Captain's face as he wrestled with the decision.

"No. We… We can still save the ship."

The Captain turned and continued through the bulkheads that led him to the flight deck; his XO following close behind him. As he got on deck he saw the true extent of the damages. The entire stern was ablaze and men ran across the deck dragging buckets and hoses against the heat. He watched as men choked on smoke. Many simply lay upon the ruined flight deck– struggling to breathe from the smoke-choked inner bulkheads– the planes having long been pushed off into the sea.

"James."

He turned to his XO once again. His eyes were red and puffy from smoke and ash.

"A ship isn't worth this."

"This isn't just a ship, Frederick. Gather ten men. We need-"

James' order was cut short as an explosive shockwave washed over them and threw both men to the ground. He came to, slowly. Blood was dripping from his left ear. The wood decking of the carrier dug into his shoulder as he stood. The ringing in his ears washed out the sound, and he was thankful for it. Any sailor who was near the stern fighting the flames was gone. The handful of munitions still trapped in the hangar deck had cooked off. Most died quickly. An unfortunate Ensign was completely alight as he dragged himself off the deck and into the Pacific below. Several other sailors simply burned on the deck. The screams returned alongside his hearing.

"Abandon ship."

Frederick stood hunched over beside him. "What did you say?"

"Abandon ship. I won't have any more preventable deaths."

The XO nodded and quickly ran to what was left of the island bridge. The emergency klaxons changed to a uniform clarity. Abandon ship.

He could still hear that disgusting, single tone note.

No, wait, that's just the wall clock ticking.

Commander James Avery breathed a deep sigh as he raised his eyes away from the myriad of reports on his desk. Most of them had already been read, thankfully. The rest, he knew– thanks to Hood's pre-sorting– could be put off for another few minutes yet. He had dealt with the most pressing paperwork already and anything left were simple after-action reports. He spun his chair around and gazed out the window of his office. The Central Plaza of the Azure Base at Midway Atoll was always a calming sight. It was peaceful, and he was directly responsible and in-charge of keeping that peace. Making certain that the well-maintained hedges encircling the central Anchor Fountain never saw combat. That this was not a base to the girls, but a home. They had had enough war.

"Let them be people. If even for a short while."

"What was that, sir?"

James started slightly in his chair before turning around to the new face.

"My apologies, Hood. I was simply musing to myself. I didn't hear you enter."

She raised a trimmed eyebrow. "Did you forget to put in your hearing aid again?"

Hood walked over to the desk and set the cup of tea she had brewed for him down before taking the white box on the desk. "Honestly, how you've managed to keep this from the Naval Brass for this long, I'll never know."

"If Admiral Lee was able to keep the Navy from knowing he was blind a bat for most of his career then I can hide that I can't hear out of one ear anymore."

She shook her head as she handed him the small earbud. He reached for it before she pulled it back. "Unless, of course, somebody was being a stubborn bull and purposefully not putting in their hearing aid?"

"Of course not. I was just doing paperwork; I didn't think I needed it."

"That is fair enough." Hood guided his hand back to his head as he moved to put it on the desk. "This time, at least."

She stood watching him while he held the earbud in his hand.

"I'm not leaving until you put it in, James."

He kept eye contact with her as she tightened one of her white gloves. "Physical contact is necessary to a proper relationship. I'm not above putting it in myself when no one is here to see it."

James smiled as he put in the hearing aid. "Physical contact, huh? Should I be a bit more physical, then?"

Hood winked at him. "A lady doesn't kiss and tell, James."

"Even with the one she's kissing?"

She leaned down at him and tapped his lips with a gloved finger. "Especially then."

"Now." Hood pulled out a small leaflet of papers from under her arm. "Here is the compiled after-action report of the Royal Navy girls that entered the Camelot Singularity at Scapa Flow. I highlighted the bit that I thought you would like to see. I'll leave you to your reading."

"No, no, it's fine, Hood. You can drink your tea here if you'd like. You were kind enough to bring me some, too, so I don't mind."

"I'd really rather leave you to it, as it were. I'll be just outside, James." She curtsied lightly before leaving the room. The door clicked shut behind her.

The Commander chewed on his cheek. Odd.

He grabbed the mug Hood had left and took a sip while he shifted through the new after-action report. The events of the Camelot Singularity were only a few days old now and he'd already showered Elizabeth in praise and gifts that threatened to grow her ego to the size of Saturn, but it was worth it when they found a way to save his love. He'd already talked with Elizabeth, so he skimmed most of the first few pages until he got to the section that Hood had highlighted.

The tea grew cold by the time he put down the mug. He reread the same line over and over again.

Monarch was then approached by a girl in black that called herself, 'Bon Homme Richard.'

"No."

"Please, Captain! I can make it back to Pearl! I still have power, I can… I can still make it… You can't abandon me…"

"This can't be my Bon Homme."

"Aren't I your little BonBon?"

"She must be from another timeline that collapsed like Ash."

"Why won't you look at me?"

He sank into the plush leather of his chair and let out a shuddering breath. The reports fell in a messy pile on the desk.

"Bonhomme…"

He let his mind wander. It wandered and wandered until it fell upon the box that he kept in the bottom drawer of his desk. He'd never opened it since he'd placed those memories in there. Trapped under lock and only one person had the key.

"Hood."

The door cracked open immediately. "Yes, sir?"

"Bring me the key. Please."

"I had a feeling you'd ask for it." Hood slipped a hand into a hidden pocket on her blue dress and produced a nondescript silver key. She placed it into James' hand and held it. "Don't forget that you are not alone in this."

The Commander smiled. "I know, Hood. You'd never let me forget."

"A ring would go a long way to making that true, James."

He laughed. "You know I'm saving for one. Don't be snarky."

"Whatever do you mean? I'm the perfect image of elegance."

"Nuh, nuh, nuh. You might've been able to fool me a year ago, but I know how you can be now."

Hood smiled at him and let the quiet hang over them for a few minutes. "Feel any better?"

"Calmer, at least. I think I can open it now. With you."

"You don't have to share it with me, James-"

"I want to. Just be here with me while I go through it."

She didn't respond but she did take him by the hand and dragged them both to the couch to the side and made sure to place herself on his right. He carried the small lockbox and placed it gently on his lap. Taking the key Hood gave him he opened the box and slowly lifted the lid. Hidden inside were dozens of photos and letters. On top of all of them was a little plastic boat. He took it out and held it in his hand.

"What's that?" Hood asked.

"It was a Christmas gift from Bon Homme. It's a 3D print of the boat I have at home on the lake. I took her fishing out there once while her hull was in dock for scheduled refit. She apparently tried to make a wooden one, but she couldn't figure out how. In the end she ran out of time and printed this in a panic." He laughed. "Little idiot."

Hood motioned to take it. "May I?"

He placed the boat in her hands before taking out the first photo. "This was taken on the day of Bon Homme's commissioning."

A brand new Essex class carrier adorned in red, white, and blue banners loomed behind a pair of people. The tallest of the two was a younger Commander Avery. HIs dress whites crisp and starched. His hands were firmly on the shoulders of a far smaller girl in front of him; a face-splitting smile on her face as she hugged an Eagle Union guidon standard tight.

"Is that Bon Homme? She's a bit small for a carrier. Especially one of the Essex sisters."

"She was the runt of the litter. Never let it get to her that she ended up being the small one. She said it let her get away with snagging more chocolate from sailors."

Hood laughed behind her hand. "Sounds like a handful."

"Oh, she was. Little goblin. If she didn't attach herself to me like a leech I would never be able to find her. In fact, on that fishing trip I told you about, she left the house one morning before I woke up and I spent nearly the entire day looking for her until she came back home just before sunset covered in branches and cuts. You want to know the first thing she said?"

"What?"

"Can we order Dominoes?"

Hood's mouth hung open. "She did not."

"She did. I was so busy hugging her and making sure she wasn't hurt that I didn't even care. I ordered everything she wanted. Including those cinnamon stick things."

"I can't say I've ever had those."

He nudged her hip. "Remind me to order Dominoes on our next leave, then. You're trying them."

"They sound unhealthy."

"Oh, like those little cakes you have at tea parties are healthy."

Hood hummed and rolled the plastic ship in her hands.

James silently flipped through several more photos while Hood rested her head on his shoulder. Watching in polite silence. If he wanted to share, then he would. After several minutes of photo shuffling, he reached the one at the very bottom. He tried to blink his wet eyes dry. And when that didn't work Hood was kind enough not to say.

"This was from our first and only Christmas together. She had never had a Christmas. It was near the tail end of my planned career aboard the Bon Homme Richard. I only had one more tour of duty as her Captain before either a promotion or restation. So I took her everywhere. We went to the Smithsonians in Washington, the amusement parks in Virginia, the docks at Norfolk, and I even taught her how to ice skate. Then, on Christmas Eve, we baked enough cookies to feed a small army." He laughed. "Or one cookie goblin."

"This photo is from Christmas day. I came downstairs in the morning to find her passed out on the couch across from the tree. According to her, she had tried to catch Santa so that she could ask for more Tootsie Rolls." James pulled one out from his coat pocket. "I still carry some on me when I'm feeling tired or crave something sweet."

"What did you get her that year, anyhow?"

"I got her a headband because she would always complain about how her bangs would always fall in her face, and when I replied that she should just get a different haircut she bit me."

Hood snorted, quickly hiding behind a gloved hand. "She bit you?"

"More she latched onto my arm with her teeth. Very persuasive, though. She loved that little thing and she made sure to wear it everywhere. I also got her some other things that I thought she'd enjoy; like a phone. Said it made her feel more mature like her sisters. She only ever used it to play games, though."

The woman beside him hummed in response. She brought an arm behind him and ran it up and down gently. "You did good by her, James."

"Not good enough."

"Your best is always enough. God doesn't give challenges to those who can't bear them. Believe that what you did was enough, if you truly did the best you could."

They sat on the couch in silence for what felt like hours. Hood rubbing his back and humming a soft tune near his ear. Only when the sun began to shine gold through the window did Hood wrap her arms around his shoulders and place her head beside his. "It's time for supper, James. I'll make sure the files get sorted in the morning. Just make sure to eat before coming back home."

She leaned away and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. Standing, she pressed down on her dress and walked to the door.

"And James?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

He smiled. "I love you, too."

She smiled back and quietly closed the door behind her. James waited a few more minutes on the couch to make certain she had left before standing and moving to behind his computer once more. He shook the mouse to wake up the monitor and immediately went to the program that created the patrols each day.

"I'll need at least five mass-produced ships. An eight inch cruiser, two six inch cruisers, and two destroyers should work…"


Hood walked leisurely through the Central Plaza of Azure Base. She stopped and sat on a bench near the fountain to watch Z23, Laffey, and Javelin play a game to see who could flick a Union coin into the top most fountain bowl. She smiled as she watched them. Wondering – not for the first time– what it would be like to have a child of her own to dote on. She shook her head and continued her walk toward the Command office. She could bring it up later with James. After he had gotten her a ring, of course. A nice one with a sapphire that matched her eyes, preferably, but she'd have accepted a ring-pop at this point.

She tried to open the front door but found it locked. "Odd. James always unlocks the office in the morning. Thankfully, I have my own."

Pulling out the spare key from a pocket of her navy dress pants, she twisted it in the lock and walked into the Command Office. With the door having been locked, it was little surprise to Hood that everything was still turned off from last night. She made her way around turning each individual device on– including the coffee maker. God help her she would throw it out one day– and got about sorting through the emails that had accumulated overnight and printing out the necessary documents that required the Commander's signature. Halfway through her morning routine the front door of the Command Office burst open and Essex sprinted through.

"The Commander is gone!"


The Camelot Singularity was exactly as the Royal Navy had described. The enormous golden rings resembling a gyroscope rose from the ocean and surrounded the island. The land slowly rose from the shore toward the peak that was capped with a brilliant white and gold castle. In fact, it hurt to look at it without sunglasses. He input commands for the fleet to fall in a pre-programmed formation from the bridge of his flagship; a mass-produced Baltimore model.

"Still feels weird plugging in command data to a computer than ordering men…" He mused.

With a docking procedure ordered, he moved from the command bridge and out onto the flying bridge for a better view of the Singularity. Just as the report claimed, there were not Sirens in Camelot proper. It wasn't until they used the device found in the castle did Sirens begin to appear. With that in mind he walked down to the admiral's deck and waited for the dock to slide alongside the hull. He heard the engine shift deep into reverse as the dock neared. With a precision only a computer can accomplish, the heavy cruiser slid to a halt perfectly alongside without the assistance of a tug. He walked down the gangplank and stepped foot on land. Staring at the Baltimore model made him anxious for some reason. He chewed his cheek before turning around and walking toward the castle on the hill.

The gates of the castle were, thankfully, open. His dress shoes clicked loudly on the flagstone path and sounded oddly like it was made of metal rather than stone. He raised a hand to the nearby stone wall and pressed against it. Instead of rough-hew stone, it felt like corrugated steel.

"Right. Siren installation. Not a castle."

He wandered through the labyrinth of spiraling staircases and endless halls until he reached the top chamber. At its center was a block of solid obsidian glass. "Since this is the room with the only thing in it, I'm going to make a safe bet and say that's the device Belfast wrote about."

Walking up to it and holding a hand above it caused the obsidian block to flash with a rainbow of lights and what he presumed were start-up functions. After a brief moment it flashed with a series of numbers and points on a map. A green dot flashed in sequence while the other dots were solid blue. One exception was a flashing red dot.

"If I read the report correctly and that Bon Homme was causing issues for the Sirens in this Mirror Sea, then I would bet my top dollar that the blinking red one is her."

He gestured toward the red dot and the series of numbers changed rapidly before settling in on a coordinate.

"I accept."

The coordinates flashed blue and moved to the side. The projected map changed to a pitch black circle in reality. It didn't appear to have any dimension. Moving side to side didn't change how it looked. It was simply a fact. He read how the girls described it but it was far more ominous in person.

"By my authority as a human, I command the portal to open."

The black disc gained dimension and blue light began to seep from its edges. Before he could blink, it engulfed him.

When his eyes opened again, he was in a featureless ocean.

An ocean may be the wrong word. A mirror would be more fitting.

All around him the sky shone a brilliant cerulean and the ground beneath him reflected it flawlessly. White clouds lazily moved ever westward. The horizon blurred. He took a step and his shoe splashed water onto his pant leg. The ripple from it disrupted the perfect mirror the ground gave for a moment before returning to its idyllic shine reflection. There was no sea breeze to disturb it. No movement to shatter the imagery. With each turn of his head he could hear his clothes rustling loudly in the silence.

"Bon Homme!" His voice carried far across the glass.

"I know you know I'm here."

His blood pounded in his ears, disguising the slowly coming roar of a Helldiver until it was nearly on top of him. He shot his eyes up and began to run. A moment later he heard the tell-tale whistle of a bomb just before it detonated behind him. He was knocked to the water and skipped across like a stone on a he only sank an inch or so, he soaked his clothes through.

He slowly stood up and he was thankful he was already deaf in his left ear.

"The Sirens are getting pretty lazy, huh?"

He spun around to find a singed and torn-up Bon Homme Richard.

"I mean, really? This is the sixth time they've tried to use you like this. Oh, well. You tend to die pretty easily, at least."

She brandished her Eagle Union guidon like a spear. The golden Eagle at the tip sharpened and the flag nothing but rags. She jumped at him and thrust at his stomach. James jumped back but she slammed it to the side and knocked the wind out of him and onto the water once again. She came up to him and kicked him in the stomach. He greedily sucked in air as he laid on his back.

"Hey, you managed to dodge a hit. Good job. Want a tootsie roll?" She pulled a wrapped candy from her destroyed Essex-class jacket and when he didn't respond she popped it into her mouth. "Eh, Siren things don't need candy anyway."

He sucked in one more big breath before rolling onto his knees. "Ohh, lookie, a fighter. They usually just stand there and die. Good for you. Standing up and stuff."

James Avery pushed off the impossibly shallow ocean and faced Bon Homme. "Do you… Do you remember me, Bon?"

"Oh, it talks. Tell me, do you have kung-fu action, too? You're full of all kinds of surprises. I'm going to have fun with you, I decided."

"Bon Homme, please, listen." James shook his head. "I'm sorry."

Her eyes narrowed. "You're sorry? You're sorry?! I'm sorry! I'm sorry that I had such a horrible, liar of a captain. You're sorry for what?!" She lunged at him and grabbed the lapel of his uniform. "For abandoning me?"

She threw him several feet away. His body slamming into the water and destroying the mirrored glass of the sky.

"For promising me you'd always be there for me?"

She threw her guidon at him and forced him to roll away.

"For making me believe that I'd have a future?"

She jumped at him and they rolled in the water.

"You said that I'd always come first!"

She slammed him against the water.

"You said that you'd adopt me!"

She slammed him against the water again.

"You said all those things and you did none of them!"

She straddled him as she reached for her guidon.

"But it's okay. It's okay because you're sorry."

Her breathing came hard and heavy as she raised the sharpened Eagle downward at his stomach. She screamed and thrust downward. Her guidon cut through his uniform and deep into him, only stopping once it hit the water floor beneath them.

"No more nightmares. No more hope. No more… no more… blood…"

Bon Homme's lips trembled. "The others never bled…"

The Commander raised his shaking hand and cupped the side of her cheek. "I'm sorry, BonBon. I'm sorry that I couldn't find you sooner. You still have a home. My home. That's why I'm here. To take you home. To make good on everything I promised." He slid his thumb beneath her eye and wiped away the forming tears. He removed his hand and slipped it into his coat.

"I even brought you a tootsie roll."

Bon Homme slapped his hand away as a choked sob broke through her failing poker face. Her hands slowly went down to his chest and the rest of her followed as she laid her head on his chest. She felt his heartbeat in her ear and a second sob broke the dam. She clutched onto his uniform as she openly cried into him. The Commander wrapped his arms around her.

The only sounds that broke the silence of the mirrored glass they both laid on was her crying and softly repeating, "I didn't mean it," over and over. James smiled despite himself. Despite the blue sky growing dimmer above him or Bon Homme growing quieter against his chest. Or even the slowly growing red that stained the mirrored glass.

The last thing he saw before falling asleep was his little BonBon picking him up and skating at full speed toward Camelot.