Sadly I do not own Ranger, Lester or any of the other characters. Janet does.
This story is based off of a rabbit hole we went down at work. Sadly it wasn't late in the day, it hadn't even made it to lunchtime. We were all laughing at the ideas. Enjoy this short one shot.
Lester the Genius (in his own mind)
RPOV
Around 1400 I started walking towards the men's room, I noticed Lester sitting at his desk. Most of the time this wouldn't concern me, but the fact Les had his tongue sticking out of his mouth did. I had seen it several times out of my nephew and niece, Les looked like a little kid concentrating on something really hard. Deep down I knew this wasn't a good thing. When it came to planning special ops, Les was one of the best and I was always glad he was on my team. But if he went down a rabbit hole, it was never good. This time he was deep in the hole.
Before I spoke, I noted that Lester wasn't doing his work, since the screen on the computer was blank. It was easy to tell since the way Les had his office set up I could see the reflection of the screen in the window behind the desk. I pinched the bridge of my nose knowing I probably wasn't going to like the response I was going to get. "Santos, what the fuck are you doing?" The waver of please don't be something dumb came through my words and voice.
"I'm going to make us rich."
Yep, I regretted it immediately. By default I sighed, I noticed I did that more where Les was involved. "Um Santos, we are already rich."
"Okay, richer then. Bones and I were at a bar last night when we overheard some women talking."
"When are you not at a bar? And women talk, it's what they do."
"I need to borrow your wife after I get the prototypes done. All I'll need is her, some cucumbers and a few bananas."
That statement had me thinking of what 'stan' country Les could go to, cause I was getting pissed. "Why do you need my wife?"
"Okay so these women were talking about condoms. They thought about ones that could look like a pumpkin on the end, or a skeleton design on the entire thing. Skeletons would give all new meaning to ribbed for her pleasure. So, I'm trying to design them. I think I should probably skip on making any that look like witches since they have the pointy hats and stuff. Well they would have to be really flexible on the tip of the rubber. These things would sell like wildfire."
By now I was giving serious thought to a crate and 'stan' countries. "So Santos, tell me why do you need my wife for this?"
"Well someone has to test this stuff. She could use the cucumb..." Realization set in as Lester wisely let the rest of that sentence die. "Or rather you two could use them." I could see he was praying I let that go.
I had mellowed out a lot since I had tied the knot with Steph last year, but I hadn't mellowed that much. Casually, I began tracing the edges of my phone still debating.
"I'm also working on another idea."
Oh boy I mentally thought and was hoping this was work related, "Hopefully it is how to get tomorrow nights skip."
"Nah, the 'Als' are working on that. This would be a mood bra. You would be able to tell if you were going to get lucky based on the color of the bra. It is like a new take on the mood rings that used to be so popular. Black could be not going to happen, blue they are relaxed. Ooo, yellow is for mellow and red … is for rocking your world. I am a genius!"
Morelli had always said I was a loose cannon or psycho. It was clear to me, Morelli had never dealt with Lester and his 'ideas'. The thought crossed my mind about inviting Joe over to see what I had to deal with. I dismissed that idea just as quickly after realizing Joe would just help Lester with the ideas defeating the whole purpose of inviting him over.
I decided I had heard enough of Lester's 'ideas'. I'd really just like to kill him over the idea of using Steph for testing, but I knew our abuela would kill me since Les was her favorite. How that happened I have yet to figure out. Instead of continuing to trace the edges of my phone, I fished it out of my pocket. As I let Lester ramble on about how the bras would sell like hotcakes, I sent a text. Les never noticed my actions, he was too far down the hole. I couldn't fire him, he was still part owner in Rangeman and my cousin. He was the only partner left. I had bought Bobby and Tank out years ago.
Bobby appeared in the doorway a few minutes later, "Hey buddy, whatcha doin'?"
"Working on my new creations. Look. I am a fucking genius!"
Bobby stepped over to look over Lester's shoulder while poking him in the arm with the syringe. "What the ..."
"Lets get him to the basement. Tank should be done with the crate."
"Wonder how long it will take him to get back this time. Ranger you got a toothpick and dental floss?"
"Always."
