Bonus Scene

Eleven Years Ago

"You need to calm down."

"I'm trying to see if my girl is here yet."

"The ceremony started two hours ago, I'm pretty sure she's here."

"Or not. She could have come to her senses and finally decided to dump your sorry ass."

"Fuck off Halberg."

Jay had to fight to hold his laugh in, schooling his features so the three officers ahead of him didn't realize he'd been eavesdropping. It wasn't like he was doing it on purpose- he could hear the conversations of everyone around him. Wasn't much else to do standing in line single file.

He graduated from the police academy today.

In less than ten minutes he would officially become a Chicago police officer. The set up was pretty similar to when he'd graduated from basic training and the Rangers, the only real difference that he wore blue instead of green. And he had people here for him this time.

Mouse and Lydia were out there somewhere, Lydia had insisted on coming early so she could drive him, and Ali's parents had said they were going to come too, though he'd told them they didn't have to. He still didn't actually know how they'd found out but he shouldn't be too surprised- the Canaryville rumour mill wasn't something to take lightly. His aunt Carol would be here but she'd had a girls trip planned since well before they'd known about this and his brother hadn't been able to get the time off work and his dad…

Fuck his dad.

He hadn't understood when he'd joined the military so why had Jay thought this would be any different?

The people who mattered were here, with one glaring exception but to be honest he hadn't expected Tess would make it. It was hard enough to judge when she would finish any op let alone try to time it so it lined up with a specific date. And to tell the truth as much as he wished she could watch him walk across that stage, this had been her idea after all, he didn't think he'd mind if there wasn't anyone here. There hadn't been at either of his Army graduations and he'd preferred it that way. From the time he was a kid, ever since he'd first understood what a soldier was all he'd wanted was to be one. And while it had been hard at first to accept that his time as one was over Jay had known he couldn't go back. And maybe that made him a coward, maybe he was running from his failures but he just… he couldn't do it anymore.

But the police force?

It was a brand-new start, a chance to leave the mistakes that haunted him back in the desert where they belonged and focus on the difference he could make here, on his soil. Sometimes it surprised him he hadn't thought of it himself but he'd been in such a dark place after his discharge that he hadn't wanted to think about the future, to even believe he deserved one, but from the moment Tess had suggested it the idea had gotten stuck in his mind. It was almost annoying how she always seemed to know what was best but considering half the time Jay felt like he knew fuck all he would take it. And he had. And though his police training hadn't been anywhere near as intense as his Ranger training, almost seven years later he still had flashbacks to his Combat Water Survival Test, just like then he had given it his all.

So if the only person here today had been him, that would've been okay. He was doing this for himself, not anybody else.

"Jay Halstead!"

With a deep breath he walked on stage, almost forgetting to shake the Superintendent's hand he was so distracted by the wild cheering that came from the audience. Mouse and Lydia were going nuts, and so was- Tess.

Tess was here.

She'd made it.

And maybe that didn't change anything he'd just thought but when he saw the three of them standing there, Mouse letting out a couple ear-piercing whistles while the girls clapped their hands off, he felt an immense amount of relief. Because maybe he could do it on his own, but he was damn glad he didn't have to.

"You made it!"

Tess's face lit up with a stunning smile as he broke through the crowd, downright angelic with the pretty white dress she wore, and as soon as he reached her he was picking her up and spinning her around; the sound of her laugh was infectious, the way her hands gripped the back of his neck and her fingers combed through his hair raising goosebumps all over his skin and her vanilla and blackberry scent was downright intoxicating. All month he'd been girding himself to get through this day without her but now that she was actually here he felt like he could get drunk on her presence. Might already be on his way.

He couldn't believe she'd made it.

"Wild dragons couldn't have kept me away."

He couldn't help but laugh, he had no doubt she'd fight one for him if she could, and gave her one more lingering hug before he let her step back, her aunt immediately taking her place. He only got a brief glance at Lydia's face before he was enveloped in a tight hug but it was enough for him to spot the tears in her eyes and fuck if they didn't bring some to his. Jay could have never expected when he first met her how important she would become to him, still had trouble believing it to be honest. No one would ever take the place of his mom, no one could, but Lydia made that hole inside him a lot fucking smaller and he wouldn't ever stop being grateful to her for that. So if his voice was rough when he thanked her for coming and if he had to blink back more tears when she told him how proud she was of him, who cared?

She was his family now, and there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for family.

Which reminded him he had one more person waiting to congratulate him. At first he and Mouse just stared at each other, almost a decades worth of history flowing unspoken between them. They'd met the first day of Ranger training, had grabbed the bunks next to each other, and from that moment on they'd been inseparable; they'd pushed each other through their most grueling exercises, had each other's backs against the most dick-ish of their fellow recruits, and instructors, and once they'd made it into the field Jay couldn't count the number of times they'd saved each others lives. Greg had always had his back, even when he didn't deserve it. And though the only thing that could have made this day better would be if his friend was standing in uniform beside him Jay knew that just because they were taking different paths now didn't mean they'd ever lose that bond.

They were brothers, in more ways than his actual one was.

"Jay!"

It took him a second to spot the new person calling his name but then he saw Ben Corson pushing through the crowd and grinned, crouching so he could catch the boy as he barreled into him. "Hey buddy! Thanks for coming."

"You're a cop now! A real, live cop! Do you have your gun already? Can I see it?"

"Benjamin Corson you aren't getting within fifty feet of a gun, do you hear me?" His mother called out as she hurried to catch up, and honestly Jay wasn't sure if she'd heard what her son had said or if she just knew him that well.

Probably the latter.

"But-"

"Hey, listen to your mom."

Ben pouted but when Jay shot him a wink quickly went back to smiling, bouncing from foot to foot while he accepted hugs from Danny and Gail, the latter of whom squeezed so tight she could have cracked a rib. He really hadn't expected them to come, it'd been years since he'd dated their daughter, but he should have known better- Gail was a lot like Lydia in that regard. Once someone came into her life they were in it, no matter what.

"I told you, you didn't have to come." He said anyway, holding back a wince and a smirk respectively when Gail smacked his arm and Danny rolled his eyes at her. "It's really not-"

"It is too a big deal! You should be so proud of yourself."

"Yes he should." Lydia cut in, giving Gail such a warm smile that he was torn between feeling touched and worried. It was bad enough if her, Tess and Carol got together, he didn't think he'd survive anyone else being added to their little group. "I'm Lydia, Tess's aunt. We're going out to lunch in a little bit to celebrate- would you like to join us?"

"Can we mom? Pleeease!"

The thought of a group this big celebrating him wasn't a comfortable one but thankfully Danny was already shaking his head. "Not tonight. We'll see Jay the next time he comes by the house."

"But don't forget you had something you wanted to give him."

Ben's face lit up at his mom's reminder, so excited he almost dropped the paper he pulled from his pocket. "I made you a card!"

"You did?" Jay took it carefully, taking a slow, deep breath to combat the lump that filled his throat.

It was him.

A stick-figure version of him, who'd apparently just kicked major ass judging by the other stick-figures laying in a circle around him, all done in black to convey they were the bad guys while he was drawn in bold navy blue. It was pretty similar to the one Ben had given him after he'd joined the army, except he'd been done in green that time, and now that he was older it was a lot more recognizable.

"This is awesome Ben." He said softly, ignoring the roughness in his voice as he smiled at the boy. "I'm going to put it on my fridge as soon as I get home."

"Really? You think it's that good?"

"Pfft, this dude wishes he could draw like you."

Jay shot Mouse the briefest look, also ignoring the way everyone else held back laughs, then placed a hand on the kid's shoulder. "I love it. Thanks for making it for me."

Ben grinned then lunged in for a hug he met gladly, rocking the boy until he started laughing. It seemed strange now that only a few hours ago he'd been prepared, willing, to go through today himself.

How could he feel alone when he had so many people at his side?

It took a few minutes for them to say goodbye and start heading towards the parking lot and when they did he kept catching Tess turning her head, like she was searching the crowd for something. It took him a second to figure out what but then he realized she wasn't looking for herself, she was looking for him. She was looking for his dad. It was kind of surprising considering the last time the two had spoken she'd been going off at his father for how unsupportive he'd been but then she always did expect the best of people. Which meant the next time she saw him she was going to have even more to say. And though he'd been among the group to stop her that first time, and it had taken a group, he wouldn't mind if she did it again. But she was clearly upset by his absence and that wasn't something he liked so he waited until they reached Lydia's car and the others hopped in to tug her towards him, struck again by how beautiful she was. By the fact that she was here.

That was what he cared about.

"I don't need him here."

Her brows furrowed instantly, partly because she didn't like how easily he'd read her and partly because she didn't like his answer but he just let her see that it was true, waiting until she figured out what it was she felt she had to say. "Just because you don't see someone doesn't mean they aren't there."

"I'll always know you're here. That's enough."