Renesmee POV
The morning sun beamed into my room which cast a beautiful glow onto the walls. I sat up and rubbed my eyes while trying to adjust to being awake. I had never been much of a morning person, especially after being up later than usual. I couldn't hear my parents so I figured they must be out of the house. Slowly I got up and strolled over to my closet. I began flipping through my unusually large wardrobe, thanks to aunt Alice, and found a cute outfit for the day. After quickly changing I head for the kitchen. I was starting to feel hungry but human food just didn't sound appetizing. After a quick look at the fridge, I decided it was time to call Jake and ask him if he wanted to go hunting. I was about to dial the number when my father appeared in the room.
"Good morning."
"Morning, dad." I shoved my phone back into my pocket but not before he could notice.
"About to call Jake?"
I nodded, "Yeah I'm kinda thirsty."
"Would you like to go with me?" My dad's face brightened and he looked excited at the thought of going hunting with me. It wasn't something we did much because I felt self-conscious about my hunting skills a lot.
I shrugged, "Sure. What's mom going to do?"
"She's going shopping with your aunts. Alice thinks she needs more dresses."
I snorted, "So she can rip more of them?" It wasn't a secret that my mom wasn't very gentle in her dresses. She ripped them almost instantly.
"Something like that," he chuckled. "Are you ready to go hunting?"
"Whenever you are."
I followed my dad out of the door and into the woods. I willed my feet to go as fast as they could, but it still wasn't enough to keep up with him. He was the fastest in our family, and never missed an opportunity to show it. His speed was also a reminder that I wasn't truly a vampire. I would always be half as strong, fast, and graceful as the rest of my family. I concentrated on his blurry form ahead of me and sniffed the air for hints of prey. Suddenly he darted to the right and stopped on a rock formation nearby. He crouched down and waited for me to join him.
"It's about time you showed up."
I rolled my eyes, "Dad you know I'm not as fast as you. Not even Emmett is as fast as you." I crouched down next to him and surveyed the clearing before us.
A prideful smile danced across his face, "I know." He looked out into the clearing and nodded towards the trees. "What do you smell?"
I closed my eyes and let the air filter through my nose. At first, all I detected was dirt and leaves, but then a gust of wind revealed the hidden deer herd. "Deer."
"How many?"
I whined, "Dad, why does that matter? I'm thirsty and just want to hunt." When I went hunting with Jacob we didn't take time to answer how many deer were in the clearing. I was beginning to regret agreeing to go hunting with him. I should have just called Jacob.
The look on my dad's face dropped, indicating that he heard my thoughts. "I'm just trying to help you fine-tune your senses, sweetheart." He looked intensely ahead, locating the herd in the wooded area. His body tensed and prepared to attack the deer. I was about to apologize for my thoughts but before I could he leaped off the rock, tackling one of the deer.
I sat there and watched him for a moment. After years of practice, he was graceful and killed with ease. In a matter of seconds, he had drained two deer. I leaped off of the rock as well, tackling a deer for my own. As the blood rushed into my mouth I grimaced slightly at the taste. I preferred blood over human food, but the taste was always slightly off-putting. It made me wonder what human blood was like. It made me tempted to try it.
A few minutes later I was finally full and the tiny herd was depleted. I noticed a few droplets of blood on my shirt. "Damn it." Clean drinking was something I still needed a little work on. I glance over at my dad who doesn't have a single hair out of place.
"How do you do that so well?"
"I've had a few years of practice. You'll get there."
I wrinkled my nose, "I can't imagine drinking deer blood for a hundred years."
"Well, we can look for other things too," he offered. "Bears and mountain lions taste a little bit better. It's not human blood, but it keeps us fed."
I wish I could try human blood.
His body stiffened, "You want human blood?" This wasn't the sort of thought I typically had.
"I just want to try it," I shrugged.
His freshly golden eyes locked onto me. "You can't. That's reckless and dangerous."
"I know." This was exactly how I expected this conversation to go. I didn't want to kill anyone, but the way everyone talked about human blood made it sound so exciting and intriguing. I folded my arms across my chest and looked down at the ground, kicking a few leaves in the process. "I didn't say I was going to do it, I was just thinking about how I want to." My dad stands a few feet away watching me, a little unsure of what to say.
"It's dangerous drinking human blood, Renesmee. It becomes addicting and very hard to stop." He sighed, "I'm going, to be honest, and tell you that human blood is the best thing you'll ever taste, but it comes at a price. A human life will be lost." There's a beat of silence before he continues, "I had a hard time stopping drinking your mom's blood when I saved her all those years ago."
"I know how bad it is, dad. I don't want to kill anyone." I wished I didn't have such a strong desire to try it.
"I also need you to know that if you decide to drink from a human one day, you can tell us." His intense stare softened a little. I knew his words were genuine, but it would still be terrifying to admit I fell victim to my intense blood cravings.
It was still unknown if I could change a human, which added to the dangers of biting a human. What if I bite someone at the new school? What if their scent is too much and I can't help myself?
"We can continue to homeschool you if you're worried about attacking someone." My dad's face became more serious. "I don't want you to get yourself in a bad position."
"I'll be fine dad." My reply is short and firm. Even though I was nervous about moving and going to school, I didn't want to be completely left out of normal human activities. The idea of going to school with my parents was less than appealing, but it would make me feel like I had a more normal life. I would be able to have friends, go to parties, and maybe even date someone.
"But if you think you can't handle it then maybe we shouldn't try it yet." His tone was soft yet stern.
I started to become frustrated. Dad just because I'm thinking about how I want human blood doesn't mean I'm actually going to act on it. Why don't you trust me?
"I do trust you. But sometimes accidents happen and you don't mean to act on it, but it happens. It happened to your mom after she first changed. It was incredibly hard for her to turn away, but she did."
Even though he told me he trusted me, I didn't feel that way. It felt like he was worried I was going to become a huge liability for the family. I wish I was normal. I hate being whatever I am. I felt on the verge of crying.
"Renesmee don't say that." His voice was quieter. I could tell that my words had hurt him, but I was so frustrated that it didn't stop me from continuing.
"It's true," I spat out. "I hate being half-human and half-vampire. I'm not as fast as you and mom and I don't look the same. I don't have the same beautiful sparkle and golden eyes. But I'm also not completely human. I can't be worry-free around human friends or be transparent about my family. I don't age, so I can't keep my human friends for more than a few years." I looked over at my dad. His golden eyes were focused on me, his lips pressed into a thin line. I could tell a million thoughts buzzed through his mind, and he tried to carefully pick his words. I pushed one last thought into my mind, I wish I had a different life.
Before he could say anything I ran. I didn't know where, but I wanted to get away from him and that clearing. I couldn't face him after what I just said. I listened for his footsteps following me, but I heard nothing. In a split second I decided where to go, Jake's house. I could tell him we were moving and get some time away from my parents.
It didn't take me long to get there and when I arrived Jake stood outside smiling.
"Nessie!" He opened his arms wide for a hug. I slowed down and reached my arms around him to hug him back.
"Hey, Jake." I let out a sigh. It felt good to be around somebody else.
He beamed down at me, "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"
"It's a long story." I looked down at the ground and replayed the conversation with my dad over in my head. I would have to go home and face him eventually. I was just relieved that he didn't try to follow me.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I think so," I replied. "I just went hunting with my dad and it didn't go exactly as planned."
"Well your dad isn't exactly the easiest person to get along with," he snorted. "He used to be much worse, trust me."
I had heard all about the fights Jake and my dad got into. They were more tolerable of each other now, but they still had their moments. It was nice to have someone that understood how my dad could be sometimes. "To be fair, I said some things I probably shouldn't have too."
"What happened?" Curiosity peaked in Jake's voice.
"We were hunting and I brought up how I want to try human blood. He kinda freaked out and started telling me he thinks I should wait to go to high school. He was being his usual overprotective self."
"High school? I thought you were homeschooled?" Jake tilted his head slightly trying to make sense of what I just said. I'm struck with the realization that Jake still doesn't know about the move.
"Umm, well there's something I have to tell you." I grimaced, "We're moving out of Forks." I braced myself for his response.
He replied in a stunned voice, "What? You're moving? Where?" His body tensed in reaction to the news.
"I don't know yet, they haven't told me. I just found out yesterday." I watched Jake digest the information and felt bad for springing it on him. Undoubtedly my parents would add this to the list of things to be upset with me over. They had wanted to tell him in a much different setting.
"What about Charlie?"
"He doesn't know yet. They want to wait to tell him."
"Why wait? He deserves to know now." Jake's expression shifted to one of determination. He looked into my eyes with urgency. "We need to go tell him now."
I hesitated, "I don't think that's a good idea. My parents will be mad at me if I tell him without them."
Jake nodded, "Fair enough but I think you should tell him sooner rather than later. It's going to crush him." He was right, the news would be devastating to my grandpa Charlie. It was unusual for my family to go more than a few days without seeing him.
"I know, I'll make sure he knows soon." I was desperate to change the conversation. I hadn't intended for it to turn into this. "Do you need help fixing anything around here? I could use something to take my mind off of things."
Jake smiled, "I sure do Nessie." He paused, "You can help me but only if you tell me about your new fixation with human blood. You bloodsuckers are weird."
I rolled my eyes, "Ugh fine." I knew he was teasing me, but it still felt embarrassing to hear it said aloud. I didn't want everyone to know my deep dark desire to try human blood.
He chuckled and began walking off towards his shed and I eagerly followed, ready for something new to do.
