Chapter 2
Eleven Years Ago
"Are we sure we can't let him do this? It's easier to let him dig his own grave than have us drop him in one."
Tess held back a laugh as Viv craned her neck to look at Michael, who was currently pacing around the cramped living room. It was what he did whenever he needed to think through a problem, like finding out their mark intended on double crossing his supplier, and though he looked inclined to agree with Viv she knew he wouldn't.
It was too risky.
"We can't. If Krowiak betrays Oleksiy it'll do more harm than good- we might not have to deal with him anymore but we'll have to deal with the fallout. This might be a pain in the ass but it'll save lives in the long run."
"Alright, so we stop him. How?"
They all took a beat to consider Nysa's question. Chances were this was going to get messy, most ops did but it was their job to minimize as much of the damage as they could. But what was the best way to do that?
Her phone vibrated on the coffee table, giving her an excuse to let someone else throw out the first suggestion; she may have been with the agency for almost five years now, four in the field but she still often opted to take a backseat during these discussions to allow those with greater experience to take the lead. Plus it meant no one was paying her any attention when her heart started to race as Jay's number lit up her screen.
"Ooooh."
Okay, maybe someone was paying attention.
Vivienne was grinning so broadly the rest of their team would've had to be idiots not to know why and though she rolled her eyes Tess wasn't able to stop the flush that crept over her cheeks.
"Do you mind?"
"Not at all." The redhead replied, despite the fact that the question had clearly been directed at their team leader.
And it seemed that as stressed as he was even Michael couldn't hold back his smile as he nodded for her to go ahead, nor John who gave her a soft look as he rose from his spot beside her on the couch to allow her to slip past- she loved her behemoth but she would have had to crawl over him if he hadn't, something that must've occurred to Viv as well based on her quiet snort, which was quickly shushed when John sat back down and gave her a little shove. Watching her team always gave Tess such a warm feeling, that sense of family she'd lost, that now she'd found again, so it meant more to her than she could ever describe that they approved of Jay. That they liked him. That they didn't mind her slipping away from an important conversation just so she could talk to him.
When was the last time they'd spoken? A week ago? Two? But that had been texts. It had been a while since she'd heard his voice.
"Hey the-… Jay?"
Something was wrong.
Something was very, very wrong. The breaths on the other end of the line were his but she had to take an extra second to be sure because they were so ragged, so… broken.
"Jay? What's going on?"
He didn't respond, just kept breathing, slowly but not at all steadily.
"Jay, I need you to talk to me. What's going on?"
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
The only change was that his breaths got louder, tighter, like he was fighting to get each one in and out again. She was so focused on the sound she jumped when a hand touched her shoulder, the fingers that subconsciously formed a fist loosening when she saw Michael. He must've been able to see the panic in her eyes because he quickly steered her back towards the couch, John and Vivienne both moving to give her room while Nysa scooted closer, steady as always as she passed over her laptop. Normally their presences would have been comforting, like lifelines, but not right now. Not when all her attention was focused on the man on the other end of the line.
What the hell had happened?
"Jay-"
"He's dead."
For a second the whole world went mute, colourless as Mouse's smiling face filled her mind.
"Dead." Jay mumbled, his voice so hoarse she had to struggle to make out the words. "Dead, hurt, touched."
Touched?
What?
Finally her computer came on and within seconds she had her friend's locations in front of her; Mouse was at the apartment, not a hospital, not a morgue, and he was actively on his phone, listening to music and texting Sophie.
"Jay, no, Mouse is-"
He let out a quiet growl, not a sound she was unfamiliar with but this was different. This wasn't teasing or lustful, wasn't even his normal anger, the kind he got when his loved ones were hurt or whenever he thought too deeply about the injustices in the world; this was deeper than that, a more primal rage, and hearing it did two things. It told her exactly what kind of head space he was in and it told her she'd been wrong. Because mixed in with that anger was frustration. Jay wanted her to understand, had called her because he needed her to, because he needed her.
The picture that emerged as she began to made her insides twist. Jay had been on patrol earlier this evening when an alert went out about a missing child and because sometimes the world really was that cruel it hadn't been just any child but Ben Corson, the younger brother of Ali Corson, his high school sweetheart. And as if that connection wasn't heartbreaking enough Jay still knew the family- hell Ali's parents Danny and Gail had been at his graduation from the police academy just this spring, right alongside her and Mouse.
Ben had been there too. He'd made Jay a card.
And now that sweet little boy… her stomach roiled and rose to her throat as she read what had happened to him, the ways he'd been hurt before being killed and Jay… Jay had been the one to find him. The one who broke the news to Danny and Gail, to Ali, the one who brought in Lonnie Rodiger, the neighbourhood boy it looked like was responsible. But though he'd spent a few hours in a police station Lonnie had already been released; apparently there wasn't enough evidence yet, though detectives were going to try to build a case. But that didn't seem to be enough for Jay.
Not when it was two o'clock in the morning and he was sitting outside Lonnie's house, his deep, still very ragged breaths telling her exactly why he was there. What he was trying to hold himself back from.
What he needed her to hold him back from.
"Jay… Jay, I know you're hurt. I know you're angry. But please- please don't do this. Please, you don't- you don't want to do this. You'll get him another way. You'll get him the right way, okay? Trust the system, trust… trust me."
Tess wasn't one for prayer, had never found it comforting the way others did but she was praying right now. Harder than she ever had that he believed her.
That he would listen.
"Please don't do this. Please, just… just start the car. Start the car and drive away and I will-"
Fuck. What would she do?
What could she do?
"I will be there as soon as I can. As soon as I am able I will be there and I will help you. I promise."
That was it.
That was all that she could give him and it was greeted with silence.
And it occurred to Tess, possibly for the first time that it might not be enough. That she really might not be able to bring him back. And if that was true… her gaze drifted to Michael where he sat across from her and as if she summoned him his eyes lifted, the concern that clouded the sky-blue darkening as they met hers. Good. He could see it. The line she was drawing. Because if Jay went inside that house she was going to do whatever it took to let him get away with it. To make sure there wasn't a single piece of evidence that could be tied back to him and to hell with the consequences; there wasn't anything anyone could do to stop her.
And there wouldn't be anything they could do to prove it.
Michael started to straighten, his mouth opening like he would say something, a warning to her or maybe a plea to Jay but then the rumble of an engine roaring to life filled the room and broke their stare. The relief that rushed through her was so strong Tess nearly dropped her laptop but she managed to hold on, forcing her shaking hands to keep the device in their grasp- she didn't voice her fears but her eyes stayed glued to the screen until the little hunter green dot told her he had made it home and then and only then, and still in silence, did they each hang up.
It was on Mouse to take care of him now. And he would. He'd keep Jay steady, keep his head on straight and those darker urges in check but he was still going to need her. She had to get to him, had to help him but-
She couldn't.
Jay might need her, but so did her team. She couldn't leave them to deal with this mess, not with the stakes this high.
She'd just… she would go when she was able. Just like she'd told Jay.
As soon as she was able.
