Chapter 7

Present Day

This was awkward.

Right?

Did anyone else feel awkward?

A quick glance showed that no, no one else was feeling as out of place as she was. In fact as Adam and Kevin came back from the bar with their shots everyone looked like they'd found their place.

Found her place.

"To Tess." Adam raised his glass high, tequila at her request and though the chorus of agreement made her stomach twist Tess smiled broadly before raising her own and knocking back; it wasn't that she was uncomfortable with the praise, she didn't say it out of arrogance but she was used to getting it, just… not from this particular source.

For the last five years she had done a lot to make sure the people around this table never found out about her, never even suspected her existence never mind her involvement in their lives so suddenly being celebrated by them was strange to say the least. She just had to remind herself that that didn't mean it wasn't good. This was what she'd wanted, for his team to like her, to feel at ease around her, both in and out of work. This was a good thing. It was just…

It was awkward.

But that was okay. She could deal with awkward.

Awkward was easy.

"I gotta say, I don't think we've ever wrapped a case up this quickly- if you're looking for a new job, I think we've got a spot."

Mother fu-

"You're just saying that because you don't want to take the tech course at the academy for a third time."

Kevin let out a loud laugh, both at Jay's comment and the reaction of his former partner, who gave a mostly mock glower. "I'm saying it because it wouldn't matter how many times I took that course, I'd never be able to do what she did."

"That's true."

Kim joined in the laughter as Tess shot Adam a cheeky smile but their mirth did little to calm her nerves. But the hand Jay rested on her knee? That did the trick, the heat of his palm turning the feeling inside her chest from tight to bearable and his next comment loosened it further, the words a verbal touch this time, another reminder that he had her back.

"My point is, if we need her, she will be there. But for now we are enjoying being retired."

"We?" Kim asked with a wry smile and a warm look her way, and that helped loosen things too.

This was good.

No one here was going to make her do anything she didn't want to, there was no reason for her to feel anxious- she had this under control.

She had everything under control.

Another round of laughter pulled her out of her head and Tess joined in as Adam and Jay continued ribbing each other, letting the sound and the warmth of Jay's hand keep her in the moment. The warmth of the tequila spreading through her system helped too so when Kevin suggested another round she agreed, sharing a soft look with Jay and a slightly more flustered one with Kim when he brushed a kiss to her hair before getting up to help; she was used to him being affectionate, physical touch was his primary love language after all but his team was still getting used to it, though judging by their wide smiles they liked seeing him this way. What was it Kim had said earlier?

He seems really happy with you. I think more than I've ever seen him.

Now that was good.

Really damn good.

They were in the middle of discussing the different ways they liked to enjoy their downtime, whenever they got it, when Vanessa walked in and this time she was the one putting her hand on Jay's knee when she felt him stiffen. He was still a little tense around her, at least when Tess was around and though the Latina detective had made a few more… questionable comments she'd never been outright rude, and as long as that stayed the case Tess didn't see the point in kicking up a fuss. Honestly she admired the woman's loyalty, even if it did feel a little bit like middle school, not like she'd ever been the kind of kid to get into a situation like this. But hey, if this was the only kind of drama they had to deal with she'd take it.

Gladly.

"Looks like I'm late to the party."

"Yeah, where were you guys? Where's Hailey?" Kevin asked as he moved to give Vanessa room next to him at the head of the table, wisely and only slightly obviously keeping himself between her and Jay. Apparently she wasn't the only one who'd noticed the tension, though in a group of elite detectives that wasn't exactly surprising. And somehow neither was her response.

"She's not coming."

Everyone tensed this time and though it was Adam who spoke next Tess swore the question came from Jay. "Everything all good?"

"Yeah, she just had to take care of something. She said to thank you again though." Vanessa said as she turned to face her, and though the woman hesitated for a moment the wariness in her eyes quickly gave way to the burning curiosity behind it. "Have you heard anything else about the kids? And those… families?"

The disdain in her voice was clear and it and the question spiked everyone's tension once more so Tess put a little extra honey in hers as she answered. "I have. All the kids have been taken into CPS custody and arrangements are being made to return them to their families as soon as possible. As easily predicted everyone responsible lawyered up but the evidence is solid- now whether they get jail time is another thing but they sure as hell won't be getting off easy. Apparently several news outlets have already gotten wind of the story."

"Really?"

She met Jay's raised brow with a placid look but when his smirk grew she knew he saw past it, and since he didn't seem bothered, he actually seemed proud, she decided not to be either. It wasn't like his team didn't already know how she'd gotten her start and as long as they didn't rely on her so much they became complacent, which she doubted they would, what was the harm in letting them know she would use her skills to help them? To help their victims in the ways that they couldn't?

She let her own smirk grow, only enough to show confidence not cockiness, then gave a small shrug. "Crazy right? But that's the media for you. They've got eyes and ears everywhere."

Jay made a noise that was a mix of agreement and amusement, squeezing her knee with a grin before he took another swig of beer and though she caught the others trading glances none of them seemed anything other than varying levels of surprised and appreciative, and she realized she'd almost forgotten how familiar they were with working outside the normal bounds of justice. Chicago's Intelligence Unit had a reputation for doing things their own way, much like her own team. A glimmer of a future conversation passed through her mind, Coulson and Voight's first meeting and she had to hold back a snort at the image as she returned Vanessa's subtle but pointed dip of the chin, her focus moving to her and Kevin as they headed to the bar. The large, kind man, whom she'd begun calling Hunkules in her head, gave her his own relieved and grateful smile and she couldn't help but return it, watching the pair as they settled onto a couple of stools. This case had hit them the hardest, especially with the climate of the country right now but she was happy to see that they looked pleased with the outcome; it may not be the one they were used to or the one they wanted most but though money was able to buy people out of a lot of problems bad publicity wasn't one of them, and to the wealthy that was one of the worst punishments there was. And it looked like for tonight that was enough for them.

Glad she'd been able to help but still planning how else she may need to step in to deal with those other problems Kevin was experiencing she turned back to the table and found she wasn't the only one who'd been observing the budding couple. The rest of them all shared sly glances, well Jay, Adam and Kim did anyway, that was one area Tess did not feel the urge to get involved in, although the look Jay shot her after definitely caught her interest. She kept an eye on him as the four of them delved back into conversation and while it was clear something had caused him to slip back inside his head she couldn't figure out what, at least not until he abruptly pulled himself out of it.

"I should have said something."

Another look was shared around the table but since she now had an inkling as to what had brought this on she left it up to the others to respond, and after a brief moment of hesitation Adam did.

"About what?"

"About the baby." Jay said with a heavy sigh, his voice quiet and guilt-filled but clear, his eyes darting nervously between them. "Yours. And ours. I should have said something."

"Nah, man you don't-"

"Shhhhh." Both Jay and Adam startled as she cut them off, Jay huffing and shaking his head when he saw the finger she held to her lips. "He is being vulnerable- publicly! This happens like once a decade, if you stop him who knows when it will happen again."

Kim let out a startled laugh and then quickly clapped a hand over her mouth to smother the noise, unsuccessfully, and though both men still looked uncomfortable they handled it the same way, each sliding a hand under the table to grasp their partners'. She hadn't seen Jay look this nervous in… she couldn't remember how long. Years. And she definitely couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him so vulnerable, at least with anyone that wasn't her. But he was doing it. For himself, for his friends and for her so she squeezed back as tightly as she could, angling her legs until they pressed against his, as much support as she knew how offer in the moment.

"I should have said something. I knew what you were going through and even if it wasn't exactly the same… I know how much that hurts. And maybe I couldn't have changed that but I could've lightened the load. I should have. And I'm- I'm really sorry that I didn't."

There was silence as he finished speaking, his words left hanging in the air and there was something about the way he kept saying what he should have done that struck Tess right in her heart. Of course she'd noticed his guilt over the past month, as much as she loved the flowers she knew they were for him just as much as for her but the hoarse sincerity in his voice told her that remorse went a lot deeper than she'd thought. That it needed more care than she'd been giving him.

But this?

This was a good start.

For both of them.

She poured all her love and pride into the smile she gave Jay when he looked her way, clearly worried that hadn't been enough but a quick look to the other side of the table proved it was; Kim actually looked like she might be holding back tears and even though Adam's face had gone bright pink he scooted forward when she nudged him, clearing his throat as he looked between them.

"Thanks man. I- we, appreciate it. Truly. Both of you. Maybe… the four of us grab dinner sometime?"

"Actually I believe we were offered an invitation a while ago."

Kim's comment caught her off guard, and so did the teasing warmth with which she made it, so warm that even though her stomach gave the now obligatory twist she decided to push past it a little more. "You know, you were. How does tomorrow sound?"

"Tomorrow?"

No one looked like they'd expected that but that only made it feel more right to Tess. Sure there were things to consider, dangers and protocols and all kinds of lines but… if the man next to her could push past his fears then she could too.

"Yeah. Tomorrow."