Ch 5 - Es muy raro ver a una mujer que merece la lealtad de un hombre
Scenes from S3E6 Los Enamorados
"Es muy raro ver a una mujer que merece la lealtad de un hombre". "It is very rare to find a woman who deserve s the loyalty of a man", General Cortez had said and although Guero had been certain Teresa was one such woman and she deserved his loyalty, the long days and night in the dirty prison cell, the torture, the lack of basic conditions made him wonder if this was what this life was meant to be. Or maybe he was being punished for what he had allowed to happen to Teresa!
Guero had had ample time to deliberate on his life, his relationships with Teresa and with his padrino Epifanio; his greed fueled by his cousin Chino, that had led him to betrayal and theft. His mind couldn't recycle every day of his unfortunate participation in Camila's group; the things he had witnessed, the changes he had seen in Teresa, the smooth way she had taken after her mentor and the deep connection he was certain they shared.
The more he searched his mind and soul, the more convinced he became that she had moved on and that he had lost her! He had lost her as a person and as a lover!
If the crazy General and Camila ever caught her, it was possible that she would negotiate her release and include him; and as there was not much he could do, he hoped she was doing well somewhere far away and focused on developing a little plan of survival for himself.
He had hurt her; he knew as much! Her bereavement of him had been corrupted by her outrage for his recklessness' it had been far from pure and holy, on top of her daily struggle to survive physically and emotionally in Camila's operation. He had caused her that and blamed himself for it, so the least he could do was to keep strong and keep his mouth shut for their Marbella escape plans.
He was astounded that despite her grief and fears, she had still managed to learn to survive, handle herself, kill and had grown ambitions way beyond money changing on the streets of Culiacan. And deep down inside he knew that another man had been there when she had been alone trying to do all if the above: survive, escape, adjust, kill, and grieve!
He had failed her and despite all the excuses he came up with, Guero clearly viewed his life as a spool of ribbon that had gotten away from him, rolling out of reach, unwinding rapidly and haphazardly, and he was powerless to stop it!
When Teresa finally appeared in the adjacent cell, he couldn't believe his eyes! He didn't want to see her there as he had had a very good taste of what Cortez was capable of, but with her appearance, he hoped that he would receive the help he needed to put his little escape plan in motion.
She had not changed a lot, but when she spoke, she sounded even more ahead in the game than she had been in Dallas. She was defying Camila now as a full blown opponent, rather than flowing her as a diligent trainee.
She had escaped to Malta, not to Marbella as they had planned! Even if he had betrayed her, they wouldn't have found her! Smart girl! Why had she done this? The thought that maybe she had not trusted him, after he had failed to show at the rendezvous point gnawed at him, but the joy of seeing her and hearing her stories of success shoved the doubts in the back of his mind!
Guero didn't detect any degree of humility or apology as she told him about setting base in Malta, then in Phoenix, then exploring cryptocurrency and the dark web. He was proud of her success and even her remark that she should have looked for him, didn't darken his hope because the hope that they will somehow still end up together had kept him alive.
He couldn't help it but her she "was destined for some bad ass shit" like a 'little cocaine princess" who was a 'long way from counting money in Culiacan.'
The word had come out naturally as they represented his feelings and although he felt that she may not like his surprise with her ascent because he might have not considered her capable, he couldn't find other words, and she only smiled at him and nodded.
He had to admit it: he was happy she had achieved so much, way more than him, without stealing or playing dirty, and he felt pangs of jealousy that he had not been able to stand by her side.
Camila's appearance brought him back to reality. The woman exuded venom and kept repeating how he, the rat had left Teresa to die, and how she, the noble businesswoman, had saved her. Teresa didn't seem to be touched at all by Camila's comments, which gave Guero hope that his girl had a plan and that there was hope for them!
Bringing up James into the equation put him down with more force he could imagine. The pendejo had been sent to kill her and had ended up with her! This was not a surprise as Guero knew James had no heart to harm Teresa, but the comment that they shared a house, and a bed brought his worst fears to life!
"Even he couldn't protect you from me," Camila said in a manner as vengeful and as mean as only a scored woman could muster. Then Guero knew that even not even Teresa's threats about wiring 10mln pesos from the Sinaloa state accounts and blaming it on Camila to present her as a corrupt politician, could stop La Gobernadora! She was out for revenge, and she would get Teresa, while he would be only collateral damage that no one cared about!
In a few minutes he had sifted the facts out of the bullshit remarks and the hate; he saw James's logical mind and cool composure had rubbed off on Teresa, his gut told him Camila had not lied about them.
His pang of jealousy now doubled because obviously she had not achieved everything alone, but the man who had stood by her side had been someone smarter than him and more worthy than him. She had taken him back in her team, bestowed him her trust and the romance waves he had felt in the air between them obviously had been allowed to grow.
Guero couldn't help but wonder if she had called him to help her with Epifanio because she really had seen no other option, or because she had bet what she knew? Was he beaten path, while the pendejo James, whose life she had run to save from Cortez, had been still a wild card?
Guero had mastered all his strength as they cut his thigh again, but he didn't miss Teresa turning her back not to watch and not budging. She didn't beg, didn't threaten, didn't cry, didn't' attempt to negotiate! It felt like she had given up on saving him from the death of 1000 cuts and not even the words that 'the love of her life' would die in front of her eyes made any difference. He was too preoccupied with the pain to notice that he didn't believe he was the love of her life!
Camila wanted to make Teresa 'pay for her sins', but his woman didn't seem to agree to have sinned. She faulted Camila's quest for power for Epifanio's death and Guero wondered if Teresa hadn't herself acquired a quest for power, one that she had learned from Camila in the short time she had been her trainee.
These disturbing thoughts were not helping him as Teresa was still there, by his side, still worried about him and her being there was his best bet to use the small pocket knife Tomas had given him to overpower the two guards. He couldn't have done it alone before as he felt weak and knew that he wouldn't get very far alone…so he had to bury the anguish about her with someone else and focus on getting out of this hellhole!
His mind floated unobstructed back to the doctor's small clinic in Imala, where he had had his leg sewn and she had called her new man for help. He hadn't needed that! He had been putting an extraordinary effort to keep his emotions in check and he realized that once she had told him help was near, he had lost his realistic perspective of what they alone could achieve in his current state!
He had been annoyed she had admitted she was working with James, then she had called the man for help!
What got him furious was that after his questions that did sound as mild accusations, she had just nodded, caressed his cheek, treated him like a child who needed comforting and who was too young to understand what was going on.
Why had he been imagining she wouldn't call for help, or why would she sacrifice her chances of escape by doing it alone with his wounded self only? Guero saw the uselessness and the insanity of his idea and realized that despite what he had said, she had needed to call James and that he and her definitely didn't have it all figured out.
Yes, her dark watering eyes had looked at him with pain, she hadn't said much, as she most likely had thought he had lost his mind. And it probably was so, because he knew that even if they had managed somehow to escape without help, they had nowhere to go. And she wouldn't leave her biz and life for him, would she? He had himself told her she was destined to be a narco princess!
Cortez's bullet had only grazed him but the blood he had lost now and before was too much and his swimming mind was reeling with the effect of the loss. It 'hurt like a bitch!'
He glanced at Pote and James in the car and made a feeble effort to thank them and joke about the state of affairs, but the air in the car only got thicker with the pressure of the situation.
Guero closed his eyes: He was safe, they were out, Teresa would take care of things, she seemed to have a knack for it, and he would deal with the James situation when he felt better! The man had said they needed another person at the winery…and a pilot! Maybe there was hope; maybe he had paid up for his sins these past eight months!
He had made his bed and he had lain in it! There was nothing more that could be done or said, so he closed his eyes and let the sound of the wheels lull him to a deep dark sleep.
