"Seriously, Bubs, where in tha werld are we?" I asked.
"Well, for starters, we're about a mile underground. Back when we sent The Chort away, everybody acted like they had got ridda him for good. But I knew better. I had looked that crazy little furry guy right in the eye. So I made a plan. I rewired that old Grape Nuts Robot to watch over my concession stand."
"Oh, that explains why you sold me a tub of 'Come Back Ali Soup.'" I stepped out of the cage, and started to loose the cords that bound The Cheat. "That was the worst meal since Strong Bad's gumbo..."
"Yeah, while the robot tended to my stand, I dug out a tunnel underneath my place. I built a conveyer system to bring the entire stand down to the bottom of the hole. I figured even The Chort couldn't get me down here."
"Sounds like a good plan, there! But how'd you know The Chort was back? Seriously, The Chort destroyed the alarm, and the phone lines got knocked out..."
"Well, I was resting outside yesterday, when a blue furry thing darted through the bushes. I didn't want to risk anything, so I just hit the button, grabbed the cash box, and hid underground. My surveillance cameras showed some movent about thirty minutes ago, so I sprang my traps, but obviously, it wasn't The Chort. So here we are."
We had finally untied The Cheat, who was more than a little irratrated about tha whole situation. But he was happy to see Bubs nonetheless.
"Meh meheh meee!"
I turned to Bubs. The Cheat had said exactly what I was thinking. We needed Bubs' help to put The Chort outta commision. Bubs looked at The Cheat, then to me, then back to The Cheat.
"You can't be serious," Bubs chuckled nervously as he talked, fidgeting a little. "I'm not going out there. Why do you think I built this underground lair with my savings? I never want to see that thing again, and if you're smart, you'll stay down here with me. I've got enough Swiss Cake Rolls stockpiled to last us seventeen years!"
"Meh! Mehee mee meh!"
"Don't even try The Cheat. There's no way I'm leavin' here until The Chort is gone for good. That's my final word."
The Cheat and I exchanged a pained look. We desperately needed Bubs' help, but I had seen that look on his face before, when I was tryin' to get him to sell me some bottles of Listerine cheap. Nothing we could say would be able to cranvince him otherwise.
"Well, The Cheat, it looks like we should be on our way. We've got a lot of ground to cover."
That Gorblin waddled over next to me. I could tell that it was wantin' to come with us.
"We'd better be off, then. Hope to see ya on the other side, there, Bubsy."
"Look, if you're sure about doin' this, you might as well go prepared. You've got no clue where The Chort is, or where the others are. You'll need a ride. Follow me, I'll hook ya up with a phat ride."
Bubs led us back, through the now lit corridors of his underground fortress. Before long, we came to a room that was sorta like an atrium, with a small pond in tha middle. Two green logs were florting in the middle.
"Hey, check these out! I named 'em after cash. The one on the right's name is Benjamin, and the other one is Jackson. I got 'em on discount from a supplier down in Florida."
As Bubs said the names, the logs began to morve, slowly at first, but then faster, until they were right next to da shore. Then, as Bubs finished talking, two large reptilians emerged from tha watery abyss.
They were his Discount Alligators.
