Chapter 7:
I can't dwell on what we've lost
Arendelle's castle wasn't really a welcoming place at the moment. There were fallen beams in many rooms and holes in most of the walls caused by cannonballs, the wood of the doors was broken apart, the walls still were spotted with blood, the floorings stained with all the dragged corpses and wounded soldiers…
Yet Anna found a strength deep inside her to ignore it and, on the contrary, build a new future.
In between two orders given to the staff, soldiers and nurses, the Queen looked by the window of the corridor she was standing in. Said window had been opened not only to ventilate and let out the dust that was flying around as everybody hurried in all directions, but also because one couldn't see through if it was closed due to the shattered glass. She sighed, both sadly and happily.
There was as much activity inside the walls than in town. From her spot, she could see all the people helping around as much as they could, though, she had to admit, her sister did the biggest part. Elsa was very busy using her magic in the streets, consolidating the buildings with pillars of ice and coordinating the Spirits' interventions.
In the harbor, the Giants had been stepping into the water - Anna noted how deep the fjord was when she saw where the level of water reached on their bodies - and helped Nokk in getting rid of the broken ships. Gale picked up wood and rubble to make sure that everyone could walk around.
As for Bruni, he was excellent at distracting the children. Under supervision of course, to avoid them getting burned in his games, but the adults admitted that his presence was great to bring smiles on the kids' faces after they lost their homes.
Anna smiled at the energy everyone shared; several days passed during which all Arendellians were busy helping each other, and the rebuilding moved forward. Elsa stayed the whole time, always at Anna's side and available for the people. When she got time between two urgent meetings led along with Kristoff, Anna stepped out and went to see the town.
She was the kind of monarch who often did public appearances. So to see her walk through Arendelle and checking about everyone and everything's state was no surprise to anyone, in fact a relief; despite the obvious grief the Queen had gone through, she was still smiling and helping and offering her usual listening ear, which the victims and their families were grateful for.
Anna also was the kind of celebrity who stopped each time someone addressed her in the street. It had its cons, she was aware, but she knew that it was very rewarding and important to some people to be heard. She always was willing to chat, observe and learn from her people. Of course, sometimes she regretted it, like when she was interrupted by very passionate men who wanted her to pose with them in a photograph, and she couldn't say no to their insistence. And sometimes she bitterly regretted it, when someone actually called her in the street in a mean way or threw eggs at her - thankfully splashing on one of her reactive close guards' shields - before the person immediately got dragged away and arrested. In those cases, Anna always took note to visit them in jail to understand what had driven them mad. Mattias had a wincing nod when she confessed to him after those visits, and attested that those acts always were due to their lack of understanding and their close-mindedness.
Thankfully, Anna mostly was surrounded by positivity, and her heart soared when her care was given back. Many admired the Queen, even when she ordered actions following the crisis. Watching her going back and forth to every point in the town, then the courtyard, then inside the castle, then back in town, then in the harbor, the staff was in awe, and among them, Kai let his thoughts wander.
He was thinking again about the first time they had met that morning, when Anna had asked if Gerda was alright, but no one else. He wondered why, then realized that the clever redhead had been one step ahead.
With Elsa, Kristoff and Mattias abroad, the only remaining loved ones she cared about most and foremost would be Olaf and Sven, but the snowman was famously indestructible, and the reindeer had ended his lifespan months ago. Nonetheless, Kai easily imagined him hitting some thugs with his hooves and participating in the fight.
That's why the butler had a smile on his lips as he handed a towel to Anna to wipe her sweating forehead after spending so much time outside. The Queen was intrigued by his distracted expression, the man usually being very down-to-earth, and frowned amusedly after she put the towel back in his hand.
"Thanks. Why are you smiling?"
Kai blinked and composed himself. "I'm just happy that you're alright, ma'am."
That wasn't a lie; everybody around was grateful for her presence and glad that their monarch watched over them all.
Once Elsa spent as much time with Anna as the latter needed, and she was certain that the Queen felt better after the depressing blow that tragedy offered, she went back to the Forest.
She however saw Honeymaren welcoming her at the four elemental stones, and didn't expect it.
"Why are you here?" Blinked the Spirit in astonishment, and she slowed Nokk down to a trot.
If Honeymaren didn't see the emotion in her girlfriend's eyes, she could have thought that she was rude. She smiled.
"The Wind Spirit announced your arrival to everyone, and I asked the tribe to allow me some time with you first and foremost. The kids really want to see you after they heard the danger you've been through in the kingdom. And us adults really got scared for you and your family and people, so we prepared a feast to celebrate your return, and…"
She tilted her head with a sigh. "I thought that this would all be too much for you, so a little break by the stones first would be a good idea."
"It's a delightful idea." Confirmed Elsa as she dropped from Nokk.
She mentally nudged her fellow Spirit, who nodded to both her and the Northuldra before trotting forward to go to the river.
The blonde walked to her girlfriend hesitantly, and she had no idea why. Was it fatigue? Anxiety?
Honeymaren lifted her hand in an offering manner, gauging her need for physical contact, and the blonde placed hers in it, still a bit confusedly. It was like she didn't dare. Or rather, that she couldn't believe she was there. And that Honeymaren was there.
The brunette could sense Elsa's mental disarray and she smiled tenderly.
"It's okay. I'm real. This is all real. You're alive."
Azure blue eyes blinked in disbelief that Honeymaren actually managed to put the finger on it.
Elsa was in shock that she nearly lost her girlfriend, in the sense that she almost didn't reunite with her ever again with the numerous times she had escaped death, and it only occurred to her then.
The simple touch of her fingers against Honeymaren's open palm turned into a brisk grasp, and the blonde whimpered as she pulled and launched herself forward to hug Honeymaren tight.
"I thought I would never see you again." She whispered. "Not that I thought about it then, but I just… I just realized it."
The brunette nodded on her shoulder. "I get it."
They stood in each other's presence for a while.
"Can we just… Stay here? For a moment? Then I'll go see the others." Asked Elsa with closed eyes.
"Of course. That's why I chose to do this. I knew you would need it."
The Spirit smiled warmly and detached from the hug. Honeymaren was worried by her gesture, before the blonde held her cheeks, admired her, and kissed her soundly. It wasn't sensual or eager; the kiss was filled with emotion and acted as a deep thank you.
When their lips parted, Elsa waited for her girlfriend to open her eyes again so she could show her smile. "You know me well, and I'm forever grateful for that."
"You're very welcome." Grinned Honeymaren.
Elsa didn't say much then, simply indicating that she wanted to sit down, and the brunette happily obliged. They leaned against the stone that had the fire symbol.
For a moment, only silence passed between and around them, wind softly whistling as Elsa fidgeted with the flowers next to them.
She also had her other arm holding the knees of her bent legs together, and Honeymaren was familiar with this body language.
"Are you okay?" She asked gently, inviting a dialog. She saw how shy her lover was, and caressed her cheek with her thumb. "Hey. You can tell me anything."
Elsa looked down. "I just want to be held." She mumbled.
Honeymaren tilted her head with a smile. "Aw, come here."
She gladly opened her arms so that her girlfriend could cuddle close, and wrapped them protectively and warmly around the touch-starving blonde.
Once Elsa hummed happily in her embrace, she kissed the top of her head, the soft golden-white hair tickling her lips.
"Mitt lys." Simply said the Northuldra, and Elsa smiled below. Honeymaren could feel it, and held her closer.
Those words echoed to the Spirit's heart with a new meaning. This nickname didn't just mean 'My light', but also 'The light that I love and has been returned to me'.
Elsa couldn't tell if that was this declaration that led her to it, or the stress from the past days finally coming to an end, or the fact that she hadn't cried all that time because she was in Anna's presence, but she started to weep. She clenched to Honeymaren's body before sobbing against her.
The hold on the brunette's tunic was hard, the lament was raw, and Honeymaren fully understood why. She gulped with emotion and held her girlfriend close, passing her hand along her back to soothe her as she cried her soul out.
"Shhhh… It's okay. It's okay. I'm here. You're safe. She's safe."
Elsa nodded in her neck, and kept sobbing.
She truly was appreciative to have such a comprehensive girlfriend. She had no idea how she could have been able to hold back her tears one more hour, even more through the feast that the tribe had planned for her.
Lulled by the sweet smell of flowers, the soft wind and Honeymaren's rubs and whispers, Elsa continued to cry and already felt better letting it go.
The Queen and the group of soldiers that surrounded her for protection were impossible to miss in the bright sunlight as Anna finished her walk around town.
Anna was so dedicated in meeting every Arendellian she could that every townspeople or soldier had been able to chat several minutes with her. Even if the goal of this dedication was to make sure that everyone was alright and that she could help anywhere she could, it greatly improved her image through the kingdom. Or rather, as most people now took the habit to call it, the queendom.
A woman living in Jostein street - Anna thanked her numerous strolls through the town to know every street by heart - quickly bowed when she saw the Queen enter her house, which still was partially destroyed.
"I heard that you fiercely defended your home. For once, I like neighborhood rumors." Joked Anna after the formalities, to ease the certainly nervous mind of the citizen. "Is it true?"
The woman smiled humbly. "Anything to defend Arendelle's honor, Your Majesty."
The redhead's curiosity was reached. "Could you tell me how the attack went? You took down a man without any military training."
"Well, when the pirates arrived in town, I quickly locked my kids and husband in. Right when we thought we were safe, one barged in, and in a second, I knew that he was looking for loot, but also to hurt my family. I looked around for a weapon, but we were hiding in the cellar, so there was none. So I took the lace out of one of my boots, and when he opened the door, I jumped and strangled him with it."
The woman then winced. "I regretted it afterwards when we had to run away and my right boot kept slipping."
Anna chuckled a bit. "I would have done the exact same kind of thing."
Badassery often met clumsiness in her life.
The woman smiled, and they exchanged a look. Then the Queen turned to the soldier that was next to her. "Say, Corporal Breivik, do you think we can reopen the voluntary entries in the army already?"
The guard nodded. "It's the best time to do so, Your Majesty."
The woman gasped in undeniably good surprise, and Anna turned back to her with a smile, happy to see that she hit right. "What do you think?"
She smiled modestly. "Are you sure?"
"Of course." Assured the redhead. "You already have the energy and the brains to be a great soldier."
She then widened her eyes. "If you want to, of course. You obviously have the choice."
The woman suddenly turned stiff and serious, her face firm and gaze determined. She stood tall and saluted. "More than ever, Your Majesty."
Anna grinned. "Easy now. It's a bit early to act like that. You still have tests to pass."
The Arendellian blushed at her wink. "Y-yes, of course, I meant no disrespect." She swore, looking at the equally amused Corporal next to Anna. "I... I will enroll and train. I know that since what happened in our past history, you want to make sure that our army is composed of good people."
Anna smiled, and started to depart, her close protection of guards following her. At the last moment, she turned.
"Evy, is it? I'm trying my best to remember names, but my mind is a bit mashed after all that happened."
Evy nodded happily. "Evy Jallvig, yes."
"I will follow your progress, Evy Jallvig." Smiled the Queen, then she continued to walk.
She looked around along her stroll, smiling and waving, and at some point she caught a glimpse of the castle when they moved to the last street. It was such a weird sight to see the half-destroyed castle from a far point of view between two
ruined houses. Thankfully, it was held upright with Elsa's ice filling the gaps during the reconstruction, and the Snow Queen had placed flawless load-bearing pillars. Still, Anna nearly shed a tear at the sight of her home. She gulped, and inhaled longly to regain composure.
Her eyes shifted to the pierced ramparts, trauma still sticking to her skin. She noticed the difference of color between the new stones that workers were placing and the old ones next to them. Due to the age of the castle, it was difficult to find the exact same stones, and the previous ones had darkened with age. She found the difference weird, odd, unsettling even. It made it clear and obvious how much impacted the kingdom had been.
Then Anna tilted her head. Her poetry and novel lover's heart actually saw a beautiful metaphor in it. The old and the new, mixing and living together.
The ancient stones were like strong, resisting crocuses that would never be stepped on or crushed with the foot. And the new ones were there to consolidate and support them while standing for the future.
'Okay, maybe I'm too poetic.' Internally snorted Anna, feeling her tired brain drifting.
"Is everything alright, ma'am?" Worried a guard, because she had stopped moving.
"Oh, yes. Let's keep going."
The redhead smiled, and thought about the future. A new birth had just been announced in the town, she had learned it an hour ago. At the reminder, she became very emotional. She was relieved that the mother survived through the attack and could be brought to safety without any injury, and of course she was delighted by how meaningful it was to have this baby to be born during reconstruction, when all the townspeople worked hand in hand.
She passed by a worksite and absentmindedly saluted the workers. One of them made direct eye contact with her and took something out of his large toolbox. He lifted something heavy and Anna suddenly startled. Her heart squeezed and her breathing came to a halt, so stupefied not even a gasp could escape her.
And then the worker pulled out a sledgehammer and turned to give it to one of his colleagues, casually smiling and talking.
"What is it?" Asked a soldier next to Anna, noticing her startle.
The Queen sighed as she saw that there was no danger at all. She questioned her own reaction.
She gulped and forced a smile before turning to the guard.
"Sorry, I thought I saw... Nevermind."
"Ah, there you are, Your Majesty." Said the jovial and sturdy supervisor of the worksite. Anna knew him, and they had met a lot recently, due to his job. They happily shook hands.
"Here, I prepared a notepad for you. I assumed that your favorite color is green?" He said, handling a pen that had beautiful patterns.
The Queen chuckled. "It is indeed. I spend way too much time with you." She winked, because despite her black armband to show her mourning, her recent outfits had all been green, to give herself some joy before heading to work. Well, the outfits that hadn't been destroyed by the bandits anyway.
The supervisor and her started talking about the worksite, and he explained everything she had missed since the last time, pointing at elements of the streets for a full hour.
She then helped his crew to count the new supplies and what was left to do, and they ticked things one by one on their notepads.
"Hello, Queen Anna." Said a familiar voice.
The redhead lifted her eyes from the list, joy filling her heart before she could even remember whom it belonged to.
A smile stretched her lips when she recognized the tall man with jet black hair who was grinning at her.
"Lloyd!" She exclaimed.
He bowed, and she shook her head.
"No, no, no, are you kidding? At ease, soldier." She teased.
They had been through a way too absurd adventure to not be familiar with each other.
"I've been told that you were here." Smiled the man.
Anna grinned and clipped her green pen to jolt ahead and shake his hand, to which the ex-guard responded with a chuckle.
The handshake was long, Anna's other hand joining above to hold it tight and express her emotion. The supervisor who had been standing next to her stepped away with a respectful distance to leave them to their reunion.
"It's been so long! How are you?" Beamed the Queen.
"Really good." Smiled Lloyd modestly.
Anna tilted on her hip with sarcasm. "Come on, I saw the ring on your finger. Who's the lucky one?"
He blinked, looking down at his left hand, then smirked. He wasn't surprised by her remark, however.
"You're still very observant and forthright. It's a delight to see that you haven't changed, and yet matured to be a magnificent Queen."
She rolled her eyes. "Don't try to deflect the subject with your compliments."
He chuckled.
"Warren and I are married now."
The redhead blinked wide eyes at the smiling retired guard.
"You are? Really? Oh, that's so nice!" Jumped Anna, and her happiness was genuine, which made Lloyd's heart soar. She didn't flinch, even if the news clearly had surprised her.
Last time she had seen them, the two men were quite opposed in personalities. But the redhead had read enough romance novels to know that sometimes, opposites attract.
"Well, he doesn't stop singing day and night, but apart from that, yes, it is nice." Joked the man with a shrug.
They laughed together, and the supervisor next to them politely made an approach, but he wasn't very discreet given his large stature. Lloyd understood that the sturdy worker wanted to talk to Anna and quickly bowed as a goodbye.
"You're very busy at the moment. I'll leave you to your amazing reconstruction of the town. I was just passing by, I thought I would say hello."
Anna was devastated to see him go already, but she also was excited to go back to business; she felt torn, and bit her lip.
She lifted her hand when he was about to turn away.
"Wait, wait! How long are you staying in Arendelle? You live abroad now, right?"
He nodded. "Yes, that's why Warren and I are visiting. We came to check on his parents after the Collapse."
The redhead's eyes saddened. Her active brain browsed through all of her knowledge and memory to remember the list of victims and deaths.
"Are they okay?" She asked with a gasp which she couldn't hold, even in front of the supervisor.
"They're fine, really. A cannonball hit their backyard, but they are lucky enough to have been trained by their son to know how to protect themselves and evacuate efficiently."
Anna grinned. "Awesome. I mean… I feel sorry for the destruction, but…"
"I get it." Winked Lloyd. "I'll transmit the word to him."
"No, actually, you know what? Come to have dinner with me tonight, both of you. You can leave afterwards, right?"
Lloyd and the supervisor exchanged a discreet look; they wondered if it was an order or a strong invite, her tone suggesting both.
"Y-yes, of course." Smiled the ex-guard.
He felt a bit awkward. After all, the Queen - in fact, Elsa, when she was Queen - had granted them retirement for good and loyal service from the royal army when the two men had presented their wish to go work as sailors. And since, neither Warren and him had stepped in the castle. Or what remained of it today.
"Present yourself at the courtyard's compound." Explained Anna, seeing his unsure expression. "The staff and guards have dressed a security tent, you'll just have to present yourselves and you can go through. I will inform them right away."
She turned to the supervisor. "We'll take that opportunity for me to show you the blueprints of the new entrance, and we can talk about what you want to tell me on the way."
The two men were impressed by the speed of her decisions. Though, the young Queen of Arendelle was known for her vibrant and keen mind.
"I will." Smiled Lloyd warmly, bowing before taking his leave back to his husband's childhood home.
Anna waved at him while he walked away, then her face became very serious when the supervisor joined her side. The muscular man was nearly twice her size, but didn't engage the conversation first. He didn't feel superior in any way. He may be respected and sometimes feared by his working crew, he still felt crushed away by Anna's aura.
"So, what is it?" Asked the Queen with a smile.
He jogged behind her as she briskly headed to the castle. "It's about that park…"
Elsa looked up at the clouds floating in the sky as she chatted with her girlfriend.
"That's why I tried to remain positive. Because honestly, it could have been worse. Don't put words in my mouth, seeing a whole float of pirate ships approach Arendelle was horrible, but it could have been submersibles, which would be way harder to counter."
She sighed. "I can't imagine the effort it would have taken Nokk and I to push away–"
"Excuse me, submersibles?" Repeated Honeymaren.
The blonde turned to her lover. "...Yes…? The watercraft?" She reminded. "The ships that go underwater." She clarified, when the brunette was still staring in confusion. "Didn't I tell you about them?"
"But… You told me that those only exist in fiction. They're real?!" Blabbered the Northuldra.
It was a lot to take it for a nomad who lived in the Forest her whole life, Elsa admitted.
"Oh. You're getting confused with submarines. Which, by the way, joins more science than fiction. It's how they'll be called once we actually build them. I know it's crazy, but I'm certain that in a few years, we'll be able to make submersibles fully autonomous."
Her girlfriend scoffed. "I just learned that they are real, so about what they can do next… They could be able to grind coffee that I would not be surprised."
Elsa laughed out loud. "Gosh, I love you."
Honeymaren nudged her. "Don't think that a topic diversion and a compliment can distract me from winning."
"Right." Blinked Elsa, focusing again. She looked at their mounts, then snorted. "What makes you think you're gonna win?"
Honeymaren defied the Snow Queen with a look.
"The Water Spirit may be magical, and I give him the respect and admiration due," she added with a nod to Nokk, "my reindeer still is the fastest of the herd. And he knows the woods like no one else, roaming free among the trees, while Nokk has only been discovering them from the rare times you froze him to ride out of water."
Elsa had an amused smile at the cheekiness and confidence of her girlfriend.
"You really lose all of your natural kindness when it comes to racing, don't you?"
The Northuldra sat up proudly on her reindeer, her neck high. "Just looking forward to win."
Elsa shook her head, and Honeymaren made a gesture to approach her reindeer next to Nokk to make sure they had the same start. "Of course, I trust you in no Spirit cheating."
Her lover rolled her eyes. "I promise I won't throw snowballs at you while we race."
Honeymaren pointed at a line of water on the horizon. "Okay, first one to reach the riverside and then back to this exact spot. Got it?"
"Yep." Said Elsa, imitating her strut.
They prepared themselves, both lowering their backs as they focused, Nokk giving an intimidating blue stare at the reindeer, who, unimpressed, grunted at him.
"Ready?" Prepared Honeymaren.
She counted down, and the two women dashed forward at the same second.
Wind whistled in their ears while their mounts crossed the woods like two arrows, and both women grinned as they used their excellent reflexes to jump in between trees and over roots to gain precious seconds over the other. Despite taking different routes, they reached the riverside in a record time, but obviously didn't waste it in admiring the other. In swift movements, they twirled around and went back the same ways with as much speed.
They both were having a blast, and Elsa's heart filled with love while her lungs filled with that incredibly fresh and delightful air of the Forest, the smell of the pine trees invading her mind. She lifted her head and looked at the sky, feeling incredibly free. Honeymaren giggled loudly as she passed by her, taking the lead.
"Wow!" Startled Elsa.
"Stop admiring the birds!" Teased the Northuldra with a grin. "We're almost at the finish line!"
Elsa gasped. "Heard that, Nokk? Let's show this dork what you're capable of."
The Water Spirit neighed in shared excitement. He galloped faster, Elsa expertly gripping to his neck, and they zoomed forward. Honeymaren barely had the time to hear the light sound of ice hooves that a blur of blue and white tousled her hair. Elsa's adorable laughter filled the air and would have made Honeymaren forgive her instantly, if the Snow Queen didn't form snowflakes in the palm of her hand and blew on them like a distant kiss to tease her.
Honeymaren's jaw dropped at the snowflakes twirling in the air, unable to tell if she was stupefied or aroused by that arrogant gesture.
Elsa kept staring behind her after the tease, gloating that her girlfriend's shock face was the last sight she had before her victory.
'Fifth Spirit!' Yelled Nokk's voice in her mind.
Elsa widened her eyes and twirled around, realizing that there was a big tree right in front of them and that she was totally going to hit her head on a thick low branch. With a gasp, she ducked, but she knew it was too late.
She wasn't the only one who estimated that it was a late reflex; the Earth Spirit initiated a tiny earthquake and made the ground tilt under the tree, making it fall slightly on one side, allowing Elsa to rush under the now high branch. The Earth Spirit then placed the tree back to its place with a movement of roots.
Elsa breathed out of shock and relief, a hand over her heart as Nokk neighed.
"HEY! We said no Spirit cheating!" Gasped and yelled Honeymaren behind her.
Elsa smiled guiltily and shrugged as she turned around. "I couldn't help it, sorry!"
Of course, she reached the arrival point before her girlfriend, and the latter groaned when she arrived only two seconds later.
"I was so close!" Complained the Northuldra. "If you didn't…"
Elsa had a snort as the Northuldra grumbled instead of finishing her sentence. "If I didn't, like you say, I'd have knocked my head hard and probably passed out. Is that what you want?"
Her tease however was not received by Honeymaren, and her heart fell in her chest as the Northuldra pouted.
"I'm really sorry, Honey. How about we do another one? This time, I'll try not to listen to them, I promise."
The Water Spirit had an offended huff.
"But you will." Pouted Honeymaren angrily, and she dismounted her reindeer, definitely ending the competition. "You always will. Even if not by choice."
Elsa widened her eyes. She thought that her girlfriend would scold her for cheating, but she actually was complaining at how impossible it was for the Fifth Spirit to not hear the others' thoughts.
Even more impacting to her soul, Honeymaren walked past Elsa and bowed in front of Nokk. Even the Water Spirit was a bit confused, though he bowed back in shared respect.
"But they indeed saved your life, so I can't complain."
Her bow was long, and Elsa felt awkward; also, it looked like Honeymaren was bowing to her too as she still was on Nokk's back.
The blonde passed a gentle patting hand along the horse's neck. 'Thank you, dear fellows.' She mentally sent. Her eyes then rose to the mountain where she could feel the presence of the Giants like a pulse. 'Thank you.'
Honeymaren stood up again with a sigh. "Nature will always protect you."
That sounded bad and therefore surprising from a Northuldra, a tribe which always pledged allegiance to the wild, the fauna and the flora, and Honeymaren clarified her sentence before her morals would find it inappropriate.
"The Spirits will always help you, because it's their duty towards you as the Fifth Spirit. So the game is rigged."
Elsa found herself speechless. That was true, and she didn't realize that it could affect things as mundane as a race. She hopped down Nokk.
"Maybe… Maybe we can do another one, and I ride a reindeer this time?" She suggested.
She thought that Honeymaren would find the idea exciting, even suggesting to immediately go ask her brother for his suggestions, but she looked away.
"What will it change… You'll still have the Earth Spirit at your side."
Elsa frowned. "Now that is unfair."
"That's what I'm telling you." Mumbled Honeymaren as she put her hand on the reindeer's collar and guided him back to the herd.
"No, I mean you are unfair!"
The brunette twitched, slowly turning to her.
"...Excuse me?"
Nokk widened his blue eyes and moved to the side to dissolve into the nearest pond, exiting the conversation right away when he saw the turn of it.
Elsa raised her arms up. "What can I do about it?" She exclaimed. "What do you expect me to do? Stop having magic?"
"No, of course not." Grumbled Honeymaren, even if the suggestion was stupid. "It's just…"
"What?" Frowned Elsa, stepping forward and noticing her lack of words. "You just wish I was different? Normal?"
Honeymaren gasped at her implications. "Now hold on a minute, it's not what I said at all! You–"
"Do you think I chose it?"
The brunette looked her up and down with a scoff. "Why are you so aggressive?"
Elsa gasped. "I'm the aggressive one?"
"You're nearly yelling at me." Pointed out Honeymaren, realizing that their attitudes had switched. "If I didn't know you any better, I'd think you're about to make it hail on me."
That Elsa was a sore loser, Honeymaren could get. But that the blonde raised her tone at her? "What makes you so upset?"
"That I can't play with you!"
A strong silence fell right after Elsa's shout, and the latter echoed in the woods. Honeymaren was stunned. The reindeer looked at them sadly.
Then Elsa realized what she had just said. "I…"
She couldn't say anything and clenched her eyes shut, her face down. She heard Honeymaren approach her and decided to walk away, but the brunette was having none of it. She grabbed her forearm in a way that was so determined and yet gentle that Elsa almost gasped.
"Hey."
Then strong and warm arms wrapped themselves around her. The blonde immediately whimpered and buried her face in Honeymaren's neck, hugging her tight.
"Baby, I'll never make you live through that again. I swear to you."
Elsa sobbed lightly on her shoulder and gripped her hands in the back of Honeymaren's tunic, realizing that her girlfriend had understood her feelings without a word.
'It's because of what happened to Anna when you were young.' Thought the brunette, kissing Elsa's temple and nuzzling against her to make her stop her silent sobs. 'You don't want to feel excluded from having fun because of your powers again.'
Honeymaren gently parted the hug, and Elsa quickly did a flick of her wrist to make the water of her tears fly away in the wind. The Northuldra grinned.
"You're allowed to play, mitt lys. To have fun, whenever you want. It's safe. You're safe. Besides, how could I not want to play with such an amazing woman?"
Elsa snorted, not really convinced. Honeymaren placed warm hands on her cheeks, and delicately moved her head forward to kiss her tenderly. She could feel Elsa gladly give the kiss back, happy that they stopped their argument, love roaming their bodies. Honeymaren then kissed Elsa's neck to relax her.
"There are other games we could play." Murmured the brunette in a warm voice. "Where your magical hands will come in handy."
The blonde frowned then widened her eyes as an image came to her, and she gulped audibly, her heart beating faster.
"Wh-what? Now?" She blabbered, blushing as she stared at her lover.
Honeymaren lifted an eyebrow at her state, then suddenly burst into laughter, startling Elsa.
"Oh, Ahtohallan's sake, no, I… I didn't mean that, you dork. I was talking about building snowmen."
She then giggled at her lover's blush intensifying.
"Say, what did you have in mind, my love? Now I really want to know."
"Nothing." Immediately replied the Spirit, extricating herself out of her embrace.
"No no no, there must have been something. I could nearly see your imaginative brain working in those wide eyes." Teased Honeymaren, keeping her hands in hers while Elsa walked away.
The blonde grinned at her hold, pulling out without actual force. "Stop."
She then turned her other wrist and a two-meter high pile of fresh snow fell on the brunette in an audible 'FWUMP'.
The Northuldra shrieked. "It's cold!"
"I heard it is." Said Elsa with snark.
The hand that previously held hers was agitating itself out of the pile, desperate to find her for help. "No kinky teasing, got it! Please?" Begged Honeymaren's voice, muffled by the thickness of the snow.
Elsa grinned and stepped back to her, grabbed her hand and tugged strongly. Honeymaren was pulled forward and tripped to fall in the blonde's open arms, and gasped in relief as she found herself in her embrace.
The Snow Queen waved her fingers and the pile of snow dissipated, as much as the snow on and inside the Northuldra's clothes, who breathed out in comfort.
"Neat trick." Admitted Honeymaren. "But never do that again."
Elsa smirked. "That entirely depends on you."
"Elsa, wait, where are you going?" Called Honeymaren, while the Fifth Spirit kept walking further away from her.
She ran behind her, but couldn't catch her. "Wait, come back!"
She called and called, but Elsa continued to walk deeper in the woods.
"Elsa, love, why are you not answering me?" Asked Honeymaren, as she continued to try to be at her level, but it seemed impossible.
Suddenly, a mist fell from the sky, abruptly and violently slamming the ground between them. Honeymaren startled and stopped running, almost tumbling back.
"No… NO!" Panicked the brunette.
She rushed forward, but got blocked and pushed back by the magical fog.
"ELSA!"
She couldn't see her girlfriend anymore, the mist too blur and thick, and yet she could sense that Elsa didn't look back and had kept walking, away from her.
"ELSA, COME BACK!" She screamed and sobbed, trying to get through, but the magic was stronger and it kept separating her from the love of her life.
"ELSAAA!" She yelled, frantically punching the mist in vain.
"Honey!"
She kept crying as her world fell apart.
"Honey, wake up!"
Then she felt two fresh hands holding her face tenderly yet firmly, and it brought her back to reality.
It gave her a shock when Elsa's face suddenly appeared up close, finally facing her again and inspecting her with a deep stare.
"It's okay. It was a dream. I'm here. It's okay." Repeated the blonde over and over, her thumbs stroking her cheeks, until Honeymaren retrieved a normal heart pace.
She eventually nodded and the blonde took her hands off. Honeymaren looked around as she regained her senses. It was the morning, she could tell by the dimmed light in the goahti, but she could also tell that it was too early to wake up. She sighed as she let her head fall back on the pillow, bringing her arm over her forehead.
She couldn't even jump on the excuse of using the opportunity that she was awake to go outside and help around the camp.
"Go back to sleep, it's nothing." She mumbled when she felt her girlfriend's insistent gaze.
"Honeymaren."
The Northuldra sighed. She ironically didn't appreciate when Elsa used her full name. Since they were a couple, she only stopped saying 'Honey' when she was angry about something. Here, she was concerned, but still; order floated in her tone. In that simple word, one could hear Elsa's scolding, but also some sass, a bit like 'Really? Hiding sleeping problems? To me? Who knows more than anyone what it feels like?'
"Fine. I had a nightmare. Though it's obvious, isn't it?" Sighed the brunette.
"Go on." Encouraged Elsa. "What was it about?"
She knew how good it felt to let it out.
The Northuldra looked at her lover, and the sole sight of her caring expression and voice in the semi-darkness brought her to confess. She sat up.
"It was you. Well, not you, me."
"I'm sorry, I'm confused." Teased Elsa.
Honeymaren smiled a bit. "It was about us. I… I was there, and you weren't, and… And then you walked away, and…"
Elsa was lost at her description, but knew how absurd nightmares could be and how they were impossible to describe when waking up, so she didn't say anything. Also, she started to understand the metaphor made by her subconscious.
"And… And the mist was back, again… And…" Blabbered Honeymaren, which wasn't like her, and Elsa's soul crushed to see how impactful the dream had been. Her usually confident and cheeky girlfriend had found herself vulnerable.
"It separated me from you." Concluded the Spirit.
"...Yes." Murmured Honeymaren in a weak voice that sounded like a squeak.
"Oh, baby…"
Elsa moved to hug her tight. "I'm never gonna leave you."
Honeymaren just answered with a whimper against her neck. The Northuldra took a long breath in to ground herself with Elsa's scent, and separated from the embrace.
The blonde pouted as she thought.
"Was it our argument today, about the race, that brought your mind to think of that?"
Honeymaren wanted to tell her that their dispute was nothing important and that she didn't feel bad, but that would be a lie. "I…"
Elsa's caring eyes saddened at her reaction, or rather her lack of answer. "It's okay. We can just go back to sleep. We'll just cuddle until you doze off."
"No, wait, I-I…"
Honeymaren had held Elsa's forearm while the latter moved to lay down again, but when the azure blue eyes stared at her in the dimmed light, she found herself unable to speak again.
'Why can't I say it? Why can't I tell her? I'm a warrior, for Ahtohallan's sake! What am I so scared of?' Thought Honeymaren angrily.
Patient hands passed on her face again.
"It's okay, don't pressure yourself. We'll talk about it when you are ready."
She kissed her forehead and laid down, wiggling under the pelts to cuddle against her. Honeymaren stayed seated, speechless.
A silence passed in the goahti, until Elsa talked again.
"But if you're feeling guilty about the fight we had, and you think that we will ever get separated because of your stubbornness, or because the Spirits decided so to the point of setting up a barrier between us, then just know… That I'm sleeping next to an idiot." Finished the blonde in a grin.
Honeymaren blinked, turning to her with a dropped jaw. "...What?"
"Good night!", chirped Elsa happily, before pretending she fell back to sleep.
'Now hold on a minute–' Thought Honeymaren, about to scold her, but she found herself smiling at her girlfriend's loving subtext.
She loved her. Elsa truly loved her. She forgave her, she was confident in their relationship, and she wouldn't let anyone think otherwise. Her dorky, nerdy, teasing and perfect goddess of a girlfriend loved her.
Elsa grinned when she felt a quick peck on her cheek before the brunette rapidly went back under the pelts, resting her arm over her waist.
There was something very attractive in observing Honeymaren crafting her arrows, that always lit a warm flame deep inside Elsa's core. The way the brunette's chestnut eyes intensely focused on cutting the edge of the wood and inserting the fletching, the way she sharpened the point with precise gestures, the way she held her tools between her teeth sometimes to have her hands free, everything made Elsa drift to another place of existence. It felt to her like she was in Ahtohallan, but while the soaring sensation was similar, it was completely different… She actually mused about it when Honeymaren lifted her eyes from her last arrow and met her lovestruck face. Elsa didn't notice right away that the Northuldra was smirking at her; she was daydreaming too intensely. The bashful and amused smile she finally did when she saw that she was busted made her lover giggle.
"What?"
Honeymaren snorted. "What do you mean, what? You're the one staring." She said, assembling her rolls of strings, arrowheads and feathers now that she was done with the hafting.
Elsa couldn't deny that. She simply 'humpf'ed and looked elsewhere, however smiling.
Honeymaren grinned and kissed Elsa's cheek, then stood up to walk to their goahti to store her materials.
"I love to observe you because… I just…"
Honeymaren froze in her tracks when Elsa's quiet voice explained herself behind her, and she gently turned around.
"I love crafting. And to admire people's crafts." Said the blonde timidly, realizing that it was something she never shared since they met each other. "I… I don't craft with actual fabrics and items, so…"
Honeymaren melted in a smile. She crouched back to her as the blonde was still seated, and passed a hand on her cheek to gently rub it with her thumb. "I admire your magic just as much, you know? It takes as much talent to imagine how an object will look like or must look like and create it in the air."
Elsa smiled. She had understood what was on her heart, and sighed in contempt at how thankful she was. For lack of a better word, she bent forward and transcribed her love with a kiss on Honeymaren's lips, warm and intense.
The latter widened her eyes before closing them immediately at the sensation. Honeymaren loved that Elsa was the kind to let herself be handled when they were intimate, but she loved just as much when Elsa surprised her sometimes by taking the lead.
When they parted, the brunette grinned. "That was a big one. Did I get a goodbye kiss at the same time?"
"Maybe." Grinned Elsa.
She then stood up along with her, and took her satchel from the ground. "It's a good thing I will only summon Nokk now, or he would have teased us about how long that was."
Honeymaren giggled.
Elsa's smile didn't leave her for her whole trip to Arendelle.
When she learned that Anna's bedroom refurbishment was finished, she had decided to give her younger sister a surprise visit to lift her mood. The Spirit knew her heart and was ready to bet that the redhead was emotional to have her private wing of the castle back to how it was, and a break from the overwhelming logistics due to the Collapse would surely delight the Queen.
And the elder was absolutely right; Anna nearly strangled her in a tackling hug when Elsa sneaked behind her in the courtyard. She had spotted the redhead on the bridge when she arrived on the fjord's shore with Nokk, and the mischievous horse had helped her climb above the rampart with a column of water to slide on the other side. All that remained for Elsa was to place her hands over her eyes. The Snow Queen had thought for a moment that it was a bit too easy for her to sneak in, but the soldiers that accompanied Anna had seen her approach the monarch, and they only smiled to not ruin her surprise.
"You DORK!" Exclaimed Anna, her voice in a giggle and a giant smile stretching her face, which beamed until Elsa's heart and made her forget that she initially was the one who came with the goal to make her happy, not the reverse.
"Though, maybe I should also call you the dorks for encouraging her prank." Noted Anna, turning to her guards.
They had small smiles.
"Speaking of," spoke Elsa, taking advantage of the gentle scolding and her complicity with the soldiers to give an indirect order, "will it be possible to borrow you for the rest of the afternoon? Alone?"
She already had plenty of ideas of activities to do with her younger sister, with, on top of the list, obviously, building snowmen in the gardens.
Anna's smile vanished, just like her upcoming sentence to ask her how she was. "Oh, I'm so sorry, but they have to stay with me. We never know. We had peace for a while now, but we're never too careful. I always have a close guard of elite soldiers with me. I followed Mattias' advice."
Elsa's jaw dropped.
"And they follow the King's orders." Smirked Anna, biting her lip. "He told them to never leave my side while he's gone."
The Fifth Spirit put her hands on her hips. "And where is he?"
"On a business trip." Informed the Queen, amused by her disappointment. "Another one, yes, but this time, he doesn't want anything to happen and ordered them to bring me to an escape route the second something goes wrong. Not gonna lie, even if I feel restricted, it's very chivalrous of him. And very cute."
"Chivalrous?" Commented Elsa, still grumpy. "He would be there defending you himself if it were the case."
Anna laughed. "He's busy representing Arendelle in an international meeting to talk about the attack, and went alone because we split the tasks. I'm staying here to lead the reconstruction."
Elsa pouted a bit. If the guards didn't have genuine respect and admiration for her, they would have chuckled.
"What about me? If I stay with you the whole time we hang out, it's fine, isn't it?"
Before Anna opened her mouth, the captain of the elite group cleared his throat before talking.
"Your Highness, we received orders from His Majesty. It's non negotiable."
Elsa sighed. She couldn't give counter orders, as Kristoff now had a higher status than her. But what upset her even more was the understatement. Did the captain realize who he was talking to? Wasn't he looking when she literally raised a dome above Arendelle? Or when she stopped a gigantic tidal wave? Was he doubting her capacities to protect Anna in time in case of emergency?
She rarely felt the emotion that roamed her. The way she frowned and stared at the captain and kept her azure blue eyes anchored in his gaze was hilarious, and Anna bit her lip not to smile.
Elsa eventually calmed down, admitting that at least, the soldier was obedient and proved that he would never let go of his responsibility.
"Kristoff is expected to return tonight." Smiled Anna, placing herself closer to them to assert her royal presence. "We will spend time all together when he's here, it's great, no?"
There was something in her smile that the Spirit couldn't put the finger on, but she gave up.
"Fine."
"I'll ask Gerda to make some tea." Smiled the redhead.
Elsa put her cup down with an upset frown.
"What is the point of me coming on a surprise visit to make you have fun outdoors if we're trapped in?"
Anna smirked with her head resting on her hand as she looked at her elder fidgeting. There was some irony in seeing Elsa complaining about the topic even though she was at her third cup of tea - a distracting beverage cleverly picked by the Queen because it was her sister's favorite. It was also funny to see that the introverted person she was, who didn't mind settling for board games and had quite a long experience in spending time inside, was so grumpy about it. Anna interpreted that Elsa had planned to shift to her own preferences, and was frustrated that her plans were canceled.
"I just wanted to lift your spirits…" Mumbled Elsa, genuinely upset and sulking like a grounded child as she looked through the window.
It looked like she had forgotten that the royal life could be restricted sometimes.
Anna suddenly laughed out loud, unable to hold it any longer.
"Elsa, of course I'm going to go play with you outside, and just the two of us." She giggled.
The blonde turned, confused. "Wait, what? But you said…"
She then gasped, both outraged and impressed.
"Did you lie to your guards?"
"I had to keep a facade in front of them." Corrected Anna with a proud stance.
She then gave her elder a smirk. "And a neutral face. It was hard to remain serious, your silent exchange was hilarious."
Elsa guessed that she was talking about the strong stare she had given the captain. She blushed and looked elsewhere.
"Come on!" Urged Anna with a giant smile, grabbing her hand to tug her out of her bashful reverie. "It's now or never, they're at the entrance of the castle and this window is on the other side."
Elsa blinked wide eyes.
"You want to sneak out?"
"Totally." Grinned Anna. "Let me grab some winter clothes and we'll go build snowmen!"
Hours later, Gale helped the siblings get back to the balcony of Anna's bedroom, their giggles twirling in the wind and thankfully masked by it to avoid being spotted in their discreet escape.
The redhead tried to orient herself as she approached the end of the balcony, and wondered in her struggle how the hell Elsa was so good at it with the low light of dusk. The Snow Queen chuckled and eventually chose to land first to give her sister a hand.
Anna put her feet on the railing then hopped down next to her, and they thanked the Wind Spirit who answered with a tingling 'Anytime, my dears'. Now that the magical wind was gone in a squall, Anna noticed the cold of the evening, and she snorted as she looked at Elsa.
"What?" Frowned her elder.
"Oh, nothing. Just the fact that it's minus eight thousand degrees and you're just... Casually standing on the balcony in a simple dress."
Elsa smiled. "It's not minus eight thousand degrees, it's barely minus two."
"BARELY?! Damn, how clueless you are. This is the best balcony of the castle, surely you can see from here that everybody in town is wearing thick clothing, no?"
They laughed.
Anna patted her shoulder before stepping inside. "Thanks for the Gale ride. I mean, Gale idea. I don't mean disrespect. It's brilliant. Spending the afternoon with you in secrecy from the guards was amazing."
Elsa smiled and closed the balcony doors behind them, then turned around and shook her head at Anna jumping on one foot to take off her boots.
"Do… You think… Kristoff... Arrived yet?" She asked as she hopped around.
"We'll see, but first, try not to hurt yourself." Said the blonde. "You went through such a dangerous runaway, it would be stupid of you to get a bruise from taking off your clothes." She smiled.
Just in time when Anna lost her balance, Elsa flipped her wrist up and raised a small ice pillar from the floor, on which Anna slammed her hip.
"Woops. Thanks."
"Why don't you just sit or undress slower? There's no urge." Puffed Elsa.
"I just… Really want to see my husband." Said Anna, undoing her coat at high speed.
"Horny much?" Smirked her sister.
"You know I meant that by love."
Her expression then changed. "Do you think that he's already there, and worried about my absence?"
Her expression then worsened. "Oh my goodness, we didn't tell anyone. Elsa, we didn't even tell the staff! What if he asks Gerda and she says that the last time she saw us, we were drinking tea in here and then disappeared?"
Elsa wasn't worried in the slightest, casually flicking her wrist to vanish the snow that had fallen off Anna's boots and was staining the flooring.
"Elsa!" Shrieked the Queen in panic.
"What? What do you want me to answer? It was your idea to sneak out." Snorted the Fifth Spirit. "I told you about warning the staff, and you told me that they would be snitches. Your words, not mine."
"But… But…" Whined the redhead, only now realizing her mistake. "You should have insisted!"
"No. It's your day, I don't want to contradict you."
Anna nearly slammed her head against the wall. Having a nice sister was a pain sometimes.
"I've got to go check my study, maybe he's there. If he just came back, that's where he would check first."
"Hold on, you still have your beanie on. There." Helped Elsa, and her sister dashed to the door the second she took it off.
"I'll be back in ten minutes, just to get the time to check every room I can think of. And…"
The Queen interrupted herself with a blush.
"...If I'm not back in ten minutes, then…"
Elsa smirked.
"Then it means that you bumped into him and made up for lost time so deeply or did something to be forgiven so deeply that you lost track of time?"
Anna blushed harder, and bit her cheek at her sister's grin.
"You don't have to make it awkward. But yes."
Elsa laughed as she passed the threshold.
Anna took great pride in ascertaining that her cairn was taller than Elsa's.
"It's not a question of size, you know?" Mocked her elder when she saw her compare.
"I know. Size doesn't matter. But still."
Elsa rolled her eyes as she picked her next stone. "Queenpetitive of Arendelle."
The redhead snorted. "I missed your puns."
Elsa grinned.
They then remained silent as they composed their cairns, both enjoying the soothing sensation of being together next to the sound of the fjord's calm waves.
"Yours is really nice." Complimented the Spirit after a while.
It truly had a shape that showed her personality.
"I'm glad you taught me that."
"Taught?" Repeated Elsa in confusion. "You mean told?"
"No, taught. This whole building cairns thing. You were right when you said it would help me ease my nerves when I feel angry about something. I still stand my case in saying that a punching bag in the castle would help too, but… This is nice."
"It keeps your hands busy." Nodded Elsa wisely, thinking about the multiple times she had surprised herself in fidgeting with her own fingers.
"Yes. It's a really healthy activity."
They smiled at each other, then Anna placed her next stone, and her whole cairn tilted before falling apart. Elsa bit her lip to not burst into laughter.
"Nevermind. It's just shit." Grumbled the Queen.
Elsa laughed out loud as Anna stood up angrily and stomped her feet as she walked away.
"Wait, wait, come back!" Cackled the Spirit.
"No, I'm terrible at this."
"I could make them all stand with my magic!" Assured Elsa.
Anna didn't know if she was referring to freezing them together, or levitating them from the ground with an icy breeze. "That would be cheating."
"It's not a game, Anna. And not a challenge either. Come back, it will do you good."
"No, what will do me good is a big pile of chocolate right now."
She then stopped in her movements, and turned slowly. "Waaaait… Can we do the same with chocolate treats?"
Elsa blinked, then thought, and smirked. "Why not. If they have different shapes…"
The two sisters grinned.
Sadly, they couldn't find any box of chocolate treats in the kitchens. Anna blamed herself; in her stress, she had eaten a lot of them lately, and they wouldn't have a delivery before many days.
To not leave her baby sister on a negative thought, Elsa decided to order Anna to go read a book in her bedroom while she prepared a surprise for her. The redhead chuckled and obeyed, then the Spirit went to ask Gerda to borrow her famously delicious cookie recipe, to which the maid joyfully agreed and encouraged.
Once done, Elsa was very proud of her work, and nearly ran upstairs with the biscuits.
Anna gasped in happy surprise at the presented plate when Elsa closed the bedroom door behind her, and she jumped out of bed to hug her warmly. Elsa had to stretch her arm and keep her balance for the cookies to stay on the plate.
"Here. Do me the honor of having the first bite." She smiled, lifting it to her eye level, and Anna smirked.
The Queen hummed in delight in advance, had a big bite, then her mouth twisted and she coughed.
"What the hell?"
Elsa's face decomposed in shock. "Is something wrong?"
Oh no, she had failed at cooking too. Another thing she was miserable at. She knew she wasn't able to do it. She knew she sucked at it. The Spirit's mind filled with anxiety and self-depreciation. Then guilt at the idea that she could have accidentally poisoned her sister. Then sadness at the idea that Anna would judge her lack of cooking skills, or her in general. All those catastrophic thoughts bumped each other in her brain in the second that passed, and she felt tears coming to her eyes.
Anna swallowed with disgust, then let out a huff. "That was weird."
She didn't say 'gross', and didn't scold the blonde, which was good news, but Elsa was forever anxious about her younger sister's feelings.
"It's terrible, isn't it? I knew I shouldn't have tried cooking for you. I'm not good at it. I lack experience, I didn't spend years with the cooks like you did and I'm really not..."
She kept rambling, and Anna widened her eyes.
"...charades too, and now this, and..." Kept talking Elsa, and if she weren't in full control of her magic, a stormy cloud would have appeared above her head and covered the furniture in snow.
"Elsa. Elsa!" Called Anna firmly but gently to get her attention.
She grabbed the plate to put it on the bed, then took her hands in hers. "Elsa, look at me."
The blonde's eyes blinked at her. Anna could tell that she was making a lot of effort to chase her tears.
"You didn't do anything wrong other than accidentally making those cookies salty."
A silence passed. Elsa was stunned, both at the reveal and the explicit, complete and reassuring way Anna said it.
"Wh-what?"
The Queen grinned, and then giggled at Elsa's lost expression. At least anxiety had turned to confusion.
"Salt." Repeated Anna. "Did you confuse sugar with salt, by any chance?"
The Snow Queen blinked again. She thought about the course of events. And how the two pots had indeed been very similar.
"Shit. I did."
Anna laughed at her rare cursing, and Elsa laughed too. She felt relieved. Relieved to know it was the reason, the only mistake, that it wasn't that bad, and that her sister had helped her. Then she saw Anna smirk.
"I must forbid Honeymaren to come in the kitchens when you're cooking, because your recipes suffer from it."
Elsa took a few seconds to decipher what she said. Honeymaren wasn't in the castle... What did she refer to? Then she blushed furiously. She did mention a... Special birthday treat from her girlfriend in the kitchens when they escaped Yule's festival. Why did she do such a thing?! Now it was obvious to both of them that she had been distracted by remembering it.
"HA! Should have bet on it." Exclaimed Anna. "Hey, you're not the guardian of memories for nothing. But now, dear other half of the Bridge, you'll pay for allowing her to invade your mind when you should pay attention, and have a cookie."
She picked one as she talked, and forced it in Elsa's mouth, as her jaw had dropped in shock at her words.
With grumbles and giggles, the two sisters fought to force the other to eat the salty cookies for the following ten minutes.
Eventually, Elsa spat out in her hands and disposed of the disaster. "Terrible. I'm not cooking again."
"Nooo! Don't say that." Insisted Anna, very serious all of a sudden. "Look, you above anyone else knows that when you fall off a horse, you have to climb back up, right? It's the same for cooking. Remember all the times I drove the cooks crazy. You'll make it, I promise."
Elsa melted in a smile.
"Do you have the right stuff to make cookies in the Forest?" Asked the Queen.
The blonde nodded positively. "Yes. We have ovens made out of clay to roast meat and bake bread. I thought you knew that." She added with a frown.
"I was more concerned about things like flour and chocolate."
Elsa smiled. "I have enough chocolate for a lifetime with the quantities you give me every time I come back from game nights. It's safely stored in an ice part of the goahti. As for the flour, and sugar, and everything, I can always intercept merchants when they cross the land on the new roads."
"Nice! Then I'll send you some recipes in secret so you can try them and impress the tribe." Winked Anna.
She then slammed her hand on the covers as an idea struck her.
"Hey, I should learn Northuldrian, so we could use a code in our letters."
Elsa couldn't help but snort. "Sorry, but wouldn't that be inefficient then? Any Northuldra intercepting our letters could decipher them."
"Do they intercept our letters often?" Frowned Anna.
"No, I was just giving you an example. Gale directly hands them to me only anyway."
She reminded Anna of that time when they came back from Corona. "If you want to use code when we correspond by letters, we could always use morse."
Anna shook her head. "No, no, I'm looking for an actual written thing. If I learned Northuldrian, we could have secret letters that no one outside of us two and the tribe would be able to read."
Elsa shrugged. "If you wish. You can learn with Mattias. He was taught by the Northuldra all these years, he's quite fluent."
Anna pouted. "I was thinking that you would teach me."
"Oh! Of course." Chuckled Elsa. "We should set ourselves some sessions then."
The Queen nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, you could learn from Honeymaren and then tell me each time we see each other."
The blonde frowned. "Why Honeymaren necessarily?"
Anna grinned slyly. "Because… You know her tongue pretty well, don't you?"
Elsa let out an outraged gasp. "You pervert, come here!"
She jumped to catch her sister who had cleverly immediately hopped off the bed.
The Spirit was blushing hard, but Anna was too focused on escaping her to notice. They were making circles in the bedroom, the Queen dashing on the carpet and shrieking excitedly as she dodged Elsa's revengeful tickles.
Later, they let themselves drop on the bed, out of breath, and enjoyed the other's presence close as they giggled and stared at the ceiling.
After a while, Anna smiled at a memory.
"Do you remember that night, when I couldn't sleep after the Great Thaw, and you made a whole night sky with stars and all out of ice up there?" She said, pointing at the paneling.
Elsa smiled. The change of topic was odd, but not uncharacteristic of her sister. "Of course. You even complained that you couldn't see clearly because you had tears in your eyes." Added the blonde, chuckling.
"What, that was true!" Said Anna with an elbow nudge as her elder laughed. "Your magic is beautiful, I keep telling you. Nature is beautiful, in fact. Ahtohallan gave you a magnificent gift."
The Fifth Spirit smiled pensively. Her connection and even relationship with Nature had indeed changed for the past year. She thought for a moment, then said something in Northuldrian.
It was a long sentence and composed of many sounds that Anna was still unfamiliar with, and Elsa had a perfect accent and intonation due to her musical ear, so the redhead struggled to decipher.
"Uhm… Wait, what?"
Elsa chuckled. "It's a traditional saying."
"I guessed, but could you say it slower?"
The Spirit did, decomposing each word without butchering it, and Anna repeated part after part. She eventually was able to repeat the sentence entirely, without mistakes, but her pronunciation was chaotic. 'She'll make progress', thought Elsa as she winced internally.
"And what does it mean?" Asked Anna. "It's a good thing I know you and can tell that you didn't make me say something rude."
The blonde laughed out loud again. Gods, it was so refreshing to have those funny moments with her sister.
"It's a respectful mantra, almost mystical, that the Northuldra hunters say or sometimes mutter under their breath when they are about to kill an animal." Explained the Spirit. "It's hard to translate, but it could mean 'I think of you Mother as I am about to end this strength, and thank you for the strength it will give me in return, and promise you that I'll use this strength to pay you tribute for the rest of my life.'"
"All that? The sentence was long, but I didn't expect that it would be so long in our language."
"I'm paraphrasing." Admitted Elsa. "I like the concept, I gotta say."
Anna nodded, admirative of the mantra and the way Elsa talked about it. The phrasing didn't make much sense, but she understood the meaning.
"It really is a prayer." Said the Spirit. "Some say it before they shoot with their bow, some say it when they press their arrow deeper in the flesh once they have joined the prey if it didn't die, to end its suffering. Honeymaren does it right before she starts to skin them."
The redhead winced. Elsa had a little smile, and shrugged.
"You get used to it. It's actually very sweet that they care so much, it shows that hunting and butchering is not cruel at all if you do it with honor and reverence towards the All-Mother, and in a sustainable way."
The blonde raised her hand and three fingers, and as they were both lying on the bed, Anna only had to tilt her head to see them. "The three main rules I taught myself when I first started to hunt were to always pay tribute to what Nature gives me, to always make sure that my prey has the same chances as me when I aim at it, and to never hunt more than what is needed. I may have ice magic, we never keep meat for too long anyway. Except if it can be dried, and then Migas and Simma make the best freaking jerky I ever tasted."
Anna chuckled. "I bet."
"I swear, they have a secret recipe for their marinade, even Honeymaren doesn't know what spices they use. It's a family thing. I asked about it once, and they told me that they would never reveal it. They said that it was like if I revealed to them how I make hail. And I don't understand. I just think about it?!"
Her sister laughed out loud at her genuine bewilderment. "My goodness, Elsa."
"What? I'm serious! It's no big deal!"
Anna laughed even more. The blonde seemed highly motivated into obtaining this spicy rub secret.
"For you, it's no big deal. But for me, and literally the entire rest of the world, it's a miracle, Elsa."
The Snow Queen frowned in confusion. "It's really not. I just… Do it. Like breathing."
Anna simply smiled at her. She loved to see that this present Elsa was centuries away from the scared one who was terrified by her own powers, that she considered like a curse and concealed in secret.
"What?" Kept frowning Elsa, seeing the way her younger sister stared.
"Nothing. It's just funny to have your point of view on it."
The Snow Queen shrugged, really clueless. "I don't know how it looks to you guys, but I really don't put much thinking into it."
"Which is why it's admirable." Pointed Anna. She then puffed. "For the not much thinking part, I doubt it. We're talking about ma'am perfectionist right here."
Elsa rolled her eyes. She knew she was a maniac, but Anna never missed the occasion to tell her.
"Friendly reminder that once, you stayed in Arendelle a little bit longer on a visit to change all of your ice creations around town and on the castle - and there's a huge amount of them, not that I'm complaining, just underlining that - that had your signature snowflake on it with your new signature snowflake."
Elsa had a sigh that sounded like a whine, clenching her eyes shut. She would never let that die.
"Yep. Very on brand, milady. I'm aware that the main reason was that you had grown into a new person since Ahtohallan compared to your creative outburst after the Great Thaw, so your previous signature is like, an embarrassing trigger to you or whatever. But still. You replaced eeeevery single one of the snowflakes with the Spirits unity symbol and… If that's not proof that you're super extra, I don't know what it is."
Elsa remained mute.
"Very in brand. Much detail." Further teased Anna with a grin, loving her guilty silence.
She giggled, and her elder gave her a jaded face. "Are you done?"
"Maybe. Why?" Grinned the redhead.
"Well, I was actually thinking about making a pillow fort tonight with floating lights and magical garlands and canopies made out of ice, but if you insist that I'm being too extra…"
Anna gasped loudly with a startle, and she jumped on her. "Oh no! No no no, I take back everything! Please please please do that, it's been so long! Elsa, pleeeease!"
The Snow Queen cackled out loud as Anna shook her shoulders.
"Just melt it, Elsa. I don't see why it's such a big deal."
"I... I can't!" Swore the blonde, trying again and again.
She applied her hands on the giant door made of ice that separated the two women, ordering it to disappear, but nothing happened. She shook her hands to loosen her fingers, wondering if something was blocking in the course of her magic, but even with her new try, nothing happened. Worse, when she shook her hands again, big spikes of ice appeared on the sides of the door, briskly emerging with sharpened ends towards Anna and Elsa. The blonde jerked backwards, stumbling in fear of her own incapacity, and Anna gasped as she avoided being impaled by jumping backwards too.
"I'm so sorry!" Exclaimed the Snow Queen, who wasn't much in harmony with ice and snow anymore.
Her powers were chaotic again, she could feel it in her veins. She would remember this horrible feeling her whole life, when she couldn't do a thing about them... But she had spent so much time learning to feel again, to stop concealing again, she was devastated to-
"Elsa!" Blurted Anna, interrupting her thoughts. "What are you doing?"
The blonde blinked and sniffed, trying to not be hurt by her sister's impatient scolding.
"As much as I wish, I can't put that door down!" Insisted Elsa.
"Why can't you?" Yelled Anna.
The reason was simple, thought the Fifth Spirit. She had lost control.
But... It made no sense. Why did she lose control again? How, in fact?
Wait... Why couldn't she remember how this conversation started in the first place?
She looked down at her hands, panic covering her confused frown quickly as she looked at them exhaling cold.
"Elsa."
"What?"
"Wake up."
Elsa briskly lifted her head to her sister and suddenly everything disappeared; she snapped her eyes open with a gasp and found herself in Anna's bedroom. Her breathing was uneven and she sat up in a brisk move and gulped to calm down. The blonde looked around and saw that she was in her sister's bed.
A dream. It had all been a dream. She had fallen asleep along with her sister, now she remembered. Elsa relaxed as she closed her eyes and felt her powers casually coursing in her veins, calm and reassuring. Her ice and snow magic was like a companion now. A friend, a protector, a tool, a confidant, an extension of her. And of course, she was in full control. Elsa let out a long sigh. Now, was it her subconscious that woke her up or Anna? Was she next to her?
Before she turned, she already knew the answer; no snore had accompanied her relaxation gestures, so Anna wasn't in the room - not even on the floor where she could have fallen after rolling on the bed while sleeping, something that had happened more times than she dared to say.
"Anna?"
She pushed the covers away from her and looked around.
"Anna?" She repeated, panic slightly raising her voice as she kneeled on the bed.
"M'here." Mumbled a tired voice, stepping out of the bathroom.
She walked to her in her nightgown, scratching her messy hair.
Elsa didn't hide her relief, her relaxed features and slumped shoulders perceptible even in the low light of the Moon. Anna showed a smirk in return, despite her tiredness.
"Were you worried I was gone?"
"Yes." Admitted the blonde.
"Where would I go?" Smiled her sister.
It was true that she wouldn't go anywhere, as the castle was her home and Elsa was right here, but the Spirit was so nervous since her nightmare that she poked at her in return.
"I don't know, get to Kristoff to spend the night with him as soon as I fall asleep."
The Queen snorted. "I told you I wanted to spend the night with you."
Her warm tone turned to an exaggeratedly perverse one. "I may really want to go enjoy his return physically, I still prefer to be with you as it's the first time we sleep together since the Collapse."
Elsa smiled, not teasing forward. She liked this moment too.
Anna returned to the covers, quickly going under with a satisfied humming. "You were dead asleep when I stood up to go to the toilet, so I put the covers back on you and tried to not wake you up. Honeymaren would kill me if I prevented you from having some peaceful sleep now that we're safe."
Elsa stared at her. "I would have found it cute if you didn't just mention you peeing."
"I didn't say peeing."
"You mentioned it."
"I just said toilet. It's not my fault if you have a good imagination and visualized it."
"I didn't– Well now I do, thanks!"
She scoffed and they giggled, then Elsa slipped back into the covers next to her younger sister. A content silence passed, until she couldn't bear what was on her mind any longer.
"I had the weirdest dream."
Anna's pillow ruffled as she turned her head to her.
Actually, the instant the caring, loving and attentive teal blue eyes landed on her, Elsa lost all courage to tell about her dream, and she stared at the window.
"Nevermind."
"No, hey."
She felt a hand on hers.
"Elsa. If you listened to me when I told you about my fears during the Collapse, let me listen to you when you talk to me about your fears in your dream."
Elsa's eyes were glistening when she turned to her sister again.
'Let me listen to you'... Those words echoed in her mind, to the rhythm of her heart squeezed in emotion.
She wanted to say a thousand things, to tell her how grateful she was, but something told her in the way Anna then smiled at her and rubbed her thumb on the back of her trembling hand that she didn't need to. She understood.
Elsa took a long breath in and told her everything. It didn't take long anyway. It had been a short dream, and like most of them, she couldn't remember the beginning of it. Also, she added out loud, the Anna depicted in it was kilometers away from the one present next to her, to whom she was so warmly confessing.
The latter smiled once she finished. "I wouldn't pressure you like that, Elsa. Never."
She then winced with a bit of amusement. "...Though, I admit that when we met each other again in your ice palace, I pushed you a bit."
Elsa huffed nervously, and Anna quickly shifted in bed to insist. "Really, I shouldn't have. I keep remembering how upset that made you."
"I froze your heart." Sadly replied the blonde.
"No, nononono. I mean, yes. But I was a jerk, truly. I was just so afraid to lose you..."
Elsa's eyes glistened in the dark. "Me too."
They exchanged a look.
"We had the same determination, uh?" Smiled Anna sadly. "Just... Opposite ways."
"I feel like it summarizes that moment of our lives pretty well." Commented Elsa.
"You were afraid to lose me if I kept being there with you, and I was afraid to lose you if I didn't make you come back with me to Arendelle." Said the Queen, turning to the ceiling as she mused. "Hmm."
Elsa gave her an interrogative frown.
"I'm just realizing that this situation actually stayed for years, even when we found the key for you to control and love your magic... I really had codependency issues." Murmured Anna.
The blonde didn't say anything. She agreed but never would dare to state it out loud.
"I had rejection issues too." Admitted Elsa.
A silence followed, and she groaned as she passed a hand on her face. "Oh, for Ahtohallan's sake, I was supposed to come to Arendelle to make you happy, not..."
She grumbled, and the Queen giggled.
"Alright, alright, let's go back to sleep."
She shifted back to her side. "Wake me up if you have that stupid dream again, okay?"
Elsa chuckled. "Okay."
Another silence passed as they tried to find sleep.
"Anna?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
"Oh, nice. Cause I love you too." Smirked Anna's voice in the dark.
Elsa turned back to sleep and started a happy dream with a smile on her lips.
Author's Note:
[makes a silly little dance] it was! the dramatic chapter! more will come! but this was a lot! [proceeds to cry in a corner] lol who am I kidding I love to write angst. Thank you all for the support so far, hugs from France!
