As I confidently strode forward, I couldn't believe my eyes. The forest surrounding The Stick was pretty dense, and trees were everywhere. But it wasn't hard to see which way The Chort had careened.
My flashlight shown into a gap in the woods, where brarken tree trunks littered the ground. The Chort had been sent flying inta tha trees so hard that the force of his impact had knocked down all tha trees for as far as my flashlight lit.
I knew that Strong Sad probably wouldn't be able to get The Cheat well enough to fight for a while. I was out here stalling. I knew full well that I had no chance to beat The Chort. But I had to try.
As I walked over tha branches, I thought of tha ones I had to protect. I remembered back in the old days, before all the trouble with The Chort.
Little Hamstray and Pom Pom playing soccer. Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and The Cheat were drarwing plans in tha sandbox, up to more mischief no doubt. Marzipan was tryin' to convince me that football was cruelty to pigs, while Strong Sad whined about people not listening to him er sumthin' like that, I wasn't really payin' attention.
A rorstling in the leaves ahead of me signaled that The Chort sensed my presence. I unshorthed my putter.
They were my players. They were my friends. They were my responsibility.
The Chort sprang from the foliage behind me, but I was just as fast, quickly bringing my clorb arornd to block his blow.
"Meh?" The Chort looked at me with an evilly puzzled exprortion.
"No, I'm not gonna beat you, The Chort. But I know one who can, and when I'm down and out, he will come after me. I'm weak, but trust me, The Chort, he is strong."
With that, I horled myself at The Chort, trying my best to remember the lessons I had with The Cheat. I swung wildly, but kept myself within control. The Chort was forced backwards by my assault.
Each one of my blows were blorcked by The Chort, who spun his clorbs so quickly the whirring sounded like a airplane propeller. But I didn't quit. I knew I had to get through his defenses, or else he'd find a chance to strike, and I couldn't afford that.
But my luck changed in tha blornk of an eye. The Chort took another step back, onto a fallen lormb. As soon as he put his weight on it, it cracked beneath him, throwing him off balance.
I seized the orpportunity. I jumped inta tha air, spinning arornd, extending my putter. The Chort had glanced down for a splort-second, but looked back up as he heard me yell my war-cry.
"FORE!"
The sound of metal colliding with metal rang out through the darkened woods. It was followed by a heavy thud.
I looked at The Chort. He had gotten part of his double-edged clorb up in time to partially block my swing. But the sheer force behind the blow was more than The Chort had bragained for.
The blue villain lay stunned next to a huge oak. The mighty tree had an anvil-shaped indentation on its trunk.
Next to The Chort lay his weapon. My swing had detorched the two clorbs from each other. One lay glistening in The Chort's paw. The other was snapped in half.
I looked down at my putter. It was bent beyond repair. I had nothing to defend myself with. I thought about trying to grab The Chort's Three Wood, but if he woke up and kept ahold of tha clorb, I was done for.
I was finished. I'd done what I set out to do. With The Chort out cold, I could safely find Strong Sad and help revive The Cheat. I ran off at a sprornt, towards the concession stand.
