"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto whispered, horror plain on his face. "You're married?"

Lazily, Kakashi looked down at his gloveless hand where his ring rested. "It would appear so,"

Naruto squawked, eyes going wide with disbelief. "Who would wanna marry your lazy ass?!"

Sai blinked, his brows raised the smallest amount, giving away his interest.

Sasuke huffed, "Is it Gai?"

Kakashi signed them up for a week straight of D-ranks for that.

.

.

.

"Okay." Sasuke muttered, glancing at the two other boys, "Do we have all the supplies?"

Sai gave a sharp nod, "Snacks are accounted for and the perimeter is secure."

Naruto's eyes gleamed in the dark as he stared into Kakashi-sensei's apartment window, his entire body vibrating. The lazy bastard still wouldn't tell them who the hell he was married to, except that whoever they were was not a man, and especially not Gai.

("For the last time boys," Kakashi-sensei sighed, looking like he'd rather be dead than discussing this. "I am not gay."

"There is nothing wrong with liking men, sensei." Sai pointed out blandly, but the glint in his eye gave away the mischief he succeeded in making.

Naruto pumped a fist in the air, "Yeah! Sasuke-teme and I kissed one time, it was an accident, but it really wasn't that bad."

Sasuke turned a bright pink and coughed into his fist while Kakashi gave them his signature eye smile.)

All three boys crowded together from the top of the adjacent building, hoping to catch a glance at their sensei's wife, Sasuke and Naruto even kept their bickering to a minimum as they waited.

Kakashi-sensei laid on his couch, his usual green book in hand, and no sign of his supposed wife.

They waited two hours and the bastard only moved to flip the page.

"Maybe he lied," Sasuke grumbled, crossing his arms and glaring at Kakashi through the window.

"About what?" A new voice asked.

All three boys jumped, slowly turning to face the newcomer. A porcelain tiger mask and bright pink hair greeted them, "What are you three brats doing up this late anyway?"

Naruto and Sasuke stuttered and stiffened while Sai sighed, sparing a glance towards the two of them before addressing the ANBU, "We are spying on Kakashi-sensei because he will not tell us who he is married to, Tiger-san."

Tiger's laughter filtered through the mask and the three boys relaxed, "While that's very ninja of you, you three are not very subtle." She nodded towards the window where Kakashi-sensei was standing and looking wholly unimpressed. "I'd scram before he makes you guys do D-ranks for a month."

Sai would swear until the day he died that he had never seen Naruto and Sasuke move that fast before.

.

.

.

"Naruto-kun," A voice called out and Naruto suppressed a flinch. He had been trying to buy groceries again but everything was out of his price range and the shopkeeps either wouldn't let him buy anything or kicked him out.

He turned slowly, eyes wide as he came face to face with a pink haired woman. A very pretty pink haired woman. She was tall, dressed in a black form fitting turtleneck and shinobi pants tucked into thick boots. His eyes grew even wider when she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, a soft smile on her face. "I'm Sakura. You need help grocery shopping?"

Naruto gaped for a moment before snapping his jaw shut with a click. He nodded mutely and Sakura took his hand into hers, leading him back to the market.

"I-I don't have enough money," He protested weakly, staring at their joined hands. Hers were scarred and rough but so delicate looking. Sakura was very pretty.

"Don't you worry about that, kiddo." Sakura hummed, smiling down at him. "Anything you can't cover, I'll help you with. All that I ask for is to eat at Ichiraku's after this."

"Okay, t-thanks Sakura-chan!" Naruto exclaimed, stomach rumbling at the mention of ramen. She was pretty and liked ramen? Why couldn't Sasuke be like this?

Sakura laughed, letting him tow her wherever he needed to go. Apparently all the prices had dropped from this morning because he was able to get everything from the list Iruka-sensei had written for him and the vendors didn't say a word or even give him a dirty look.

(What Naruto will realize later, years later, is that Sakura had been the reason for the change in price and attitude. He had missed her seething glares at the civilians, the baring of her teeth if anyone looked at them funny.

After this small incident the vendors never said a word to him, were never rude or cruel, the civilians always left him alone. Because even the civilians knew not to touch what was under the God Eater's protection.)

She sat with him at Ichiraku's, wolfing down her own ramen with a speed that had Naruto laughing his ass off, holding his belly and making fun of her as she got stuff all over her face. He hadn't felt this wanted in a very long time, hadn't even felt this happy ever. Sakura was really funny and really nice and she listened to him and grinned super widely (she had sharp teeth but it only made her look cooler) and she got super excited when he got super excited.

Sakura wasn't afraid to be loud and she threw her head back in laughter at something he said. She followed him home, refusing to let him carry all the groceries, with a "I've got it kiddo, you just show me the way."

He pushed open the door and glanced back at her once more before letting her inside. His apartment was small and shabby but it was all he had known for so long. Not much took up the space, just a lumpy futon, a chipped cup and almost cracked bowl, the shower sometimes worked, and the walls were kinda gross. But then again, he didn't really have anywhere else.

Embarrassment shot through him as he turned to look at what Sakura thought. Would she look down at him and run away? Would she hate him like everyone else? Would she-

"Alright kid, let's get these groceries put away and then we'll see about going furniture shopping, yeah?" Sounding cheery and lips parted in a smile, her greengreengreen eyes glowed with something he couldn't name. But, the lump in his throat dissolved as wiped away the few tears that threatened to spill. Despite his watery smile, something warm bloomed in his chest.

It took a week for Sakura to deem his apartment good enough for him. Naruto had watched, awestruck, as she threw his futon through the window, obliterated his molding countertops with her fists, and then worked with her to strub the place from top the bottom, all the while she was teaching him about chakra control.

She bought him new appliances, brand new furniture and he even got to pick out the colors as long as everything wasn't orange.

("No Naruto, just no."

"But Sakura-chan! It's my favorite color!"

"Absolutely not, I'm putting a limit on the number of fucking orange things you can have, kami.")

For the first time he could ever remember, he felt at home in this apartment.

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.

.

Sai slunk through the shadows, making sure to keep his footfalls silent, his chakra level the same as a small squirrel as he leapt towards Danzo-sama.

One moment he was in the air, the next strong arms were around his middle and dragging him somewhere.

He fought the arms, using everything he knew to get free but the person was unmoveable, didn't even flinch as he drove a kunai into their arm. The shinobi dropped him in a dark alley and he flung his kunai at them.

(His chest heaved and his heart pounded. Was he no longer useful? Did Danzo-sama send for his death? He needed to protect Sasuke and Naruto, he was still useful— )

"Take a breath Sai," Tiger murmured, slowly coming his way, mask catching the moonlight. "It's okay. I'm not here to hurt you. You were on your way to see Danzo, correct?"

He swallowed harshly, hiding his shaking hands behind his back before he nodded curtly.

"It's okay Sai. You don't have to report to him any-"

"No." Sai choked, eyes wild. The mission. The mission. The mission. "I need to report my progress to Danzo-sama or Naruto and Sasuke will get hurt. I need to."

Two strong arms came around him and tugged him to a plated chest, "It's over, Sai. Danzo won't hurt your teammates. You've done so good with your mission, it's over now. Danzo has been killed, they're all safe."

Danzo-sama was dead?

"Yes." Tiger whispered, fingers running through his hair. He didn't realized he asked the question out loud. "Danzo is no longer a threat."

What did he do now? What could he do? What about orders? What about his usefulness? Sai needed orders. How can he- how can he live without them?

Tiger pulled away and her green eyes watery as they met Sai's. "It won't be easy." She said softly, wiping away tears that Sai didn't know had spilled. "But I know someone who can help, do you want to meet him?"

She took his hand into hers and led him away from the darkness and into the light.

(It would take two years for him to realize that Tiger had been the one to behead Danzo and take the man's head to T&I. She would also be the one to shield him away from interrogation in the future. Her and Kakashi snarling and hissing in his defense behind closed doors.

When he realizes this, he gifts her a series of paintings for her birthday. She hugs him so tight that he could have sworn his ribs cracked a small bit. He also apologizes for stabbing her with a kunai.)

.

.

.

Sasuke was not having a good time.

He needed to get stronger, to become a chunin and become powerful enough to kill his brother and avenge his family.

(How could he do it? How could he? How could he kill everyone they loved? His brother, his hero, his brother. )

He had thought the exams would be easy, a simple cake walk because he was Uchiha Sasuke and his brother had been Uchiha Itachi and his cousin had been Uchiha Shisui, he would not let that legacy down, he would not let himself be weak.

But now Naruto was unconscious in Sai's trembling arms (please not them. please do not take them, his found family, his friends, his teammates, please) and Sasuke shook, the fear suffocating him as the thing came closer, its tongue flicking out and it grinned and grinned and grinned-

The ground erupted, shaking the entire forest and throwing the man (woman? snake? thing?) backwards. Strong arms looped around him as the air roared in his ears, stomach clenching and chest heaving.

"Is everyone okay?" The woman asked, her arms glowing green before Sasuke felt a warm chakra enter his system, the pain behind his eyes fading and the ache in his limbs gone. "I've got you guys, don't worry. Your sensei has been worried sick."

"Who- who are you?" Sasuke breathed, staring up at the woman, her pink hair whipping behind her, her face set grim.

Pink hair.

He blinked and felt some of his fear weaken.

Haruno Sakura. The Jade Demon. The God Eater.

The one legged ninja who was a legend. The hero of the Third Shinobi war. She was one of the most feared ninjas in all of the elemental nations. Monstrous strength, a master of earth and water ninjutsu, the one to recreate the wood release by her own merits, a taijutsu beast, and was immune to genjutsu if the stories were right.

She was an elite ANBU captain and surpassed the sannin, much like his sensei.

She fought a god when she was just a little older than him and then she ate it.

Haruno Sakura was the strongest thing alive.

She gave him a smirk as if she could read his thoughts (and she very well might be. She ate a god for fucks sake) before tossing all three boys into the air, a clone catching them as the real Sakura turned, teeth bared, and muscles tense.

"Ah, Sakura-chan." The snake murmured, smiling too widely to be natural. "It's been a while."

"Orochimaru. I'm surprised you had the courage to show your fucking face here again." Sakura snarled, teeth glinting. "I'm going to kill you. No matter what my other shishous want."

Orochimaru?

She didn't give him time to say anything before she blurred. Activating his sharingan, Sasuke squinted as he attempted to follow their battle to no avail. They were nothing but barely there blurs and half hand signals, but Sakura (The God Eater, the Jade Demon, the World Saver) looked absolutely furious, her eyes burning with hatehatehate.

Every instinct in him screamed to look away, to run away, because that look meant death.

Haruno Sakura was the most dangerous thing alive.

Sakura's clone moved not long after, the forest shaking from the two legends' fight. Behind them the branches and roots covered their escape, shielding prying, innocent eyes from whatever horrors the God Eater was unleashing.

Kakashi-sensei was there when Sakura's clone arrived, gathering them up in his arms and sprinting for the hospital. The last thing he remembers is Kakashi's warmth and worry radiating off of him and a otherworldly roar shaking the very trees.

When he awoke the next time, Kakashi-sensei and Haruno Sakura were sitting by his bedside. Sakura's mouth and throat tinged pink and she had a hand on Kakashi's knee. Kakashi-sensei sat strung tight, shoulders tense as he narrowed his eye at Sakura.

"Naruto? Sai?" He slurred, weakly pawing in their direction.

Kakashi's head snapped towards him and gently took Sasuke's hand into his, "Safe. Everyone is safe. You can rest now."

Sasuke forced his eyes to move to where Sakura was watching him, a heartbreakingly kind expression on her face, "Thank you."

.

.

.

"You better not let him read that porn," Sakura growled, hands on Naruto's shoulders as she glared at Jiraiya. Or as Naruto loved to call him, Pervy Sage.

The old man waved a hand, "No faith in your old teacher, Saku-chan?"

Sakura's scowl only darkened at the nickname and Jiraiya paled slightly. "No porn until he is of age." He agrees, nodding his head enthusiastically.

Naruto beamed up at Sakura when she glanced down at him before turning to give her a tight hug. "Don't worry Sakura-chan! I'm gonna get super strong and everything so we can go on missions together! Believe it!"

Sakura's laugh rumbled through him before she ruffled his hair, "Don't let your sensei hear that, he'll cry from neglect."

Naruto laughed again before taking a step back and looking at Sasuke and Sai, holding out his fist. "When I get back we're gonna be the best three man squad Kohona has ever seen! And then I'll be Hokage!"

"Yeah yeah whatever Dead Last," Sasuke muttered, putting his fist next to Naruto's.

Sai mirrored the action, lips twitching into a slight smile, "Be sure to become strong enough to compensate for your small-"

Kakashi-sensei's hand came to cover Sai's mouth with a chuckle, the other reaching out to ruffle Naruto's hair. Sakura laughed from behind them, the sound loud and brash. Naruto was going to miss her, miss all of them. But he had to get stronger.

"Be safe." Was all his sensei offered before taking a step back.

Naruto grinned at them, walking backwards and waving until he couldn't see them.

He would become strong. To help Sasuke and his dream, to protect Sai, to make Kakashi-sensei proud, and to fight side by side with Sakura-chan.

Believe it.

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.

Sai climbed through the window, going to sit with his back against the couch as Sakura massaged the thigh of her amputated leg. Her wooden leg was laying on the floor beside the couch. She had sheared her hair short, the strands brushing against her jaw as a gentle breeze followed Sai in. Sighing heavily, she flopped backwards.

"How did you lose it?" He had never asked, not in the two years she had taken him under her wing when Kakashi and Sasuke went off to train. He had the best chakra control of the three and Sakura was teaching him everything she knew to add to his arsenal.

("Listen kiddo," She said, turning away from Kakashi and Sasuke's retreating forms. "You're strong. Your long distance weaponry and ink is going to make you a total badass. But, you're the most competent member of Team 7, you wanna learn how to heal?"

He paused for a moment, taking it into real consideration before nodding. "I would like to protect my teammates the best I can."

The smile she gave him was fierce and bloodthirsty and proud, "Let's get started then.")

He still met with Tenzo weekly, usually for lunch just to talk. It had helped a lot with the transition between soldier to human.

Sakura hummed, hand going to pat Sai's head. "I was wondering when you'd grow the balls to ask." At his frown, Sakura laughed lightly, ruffling his hair. "It was a little bit ago. I was seventeen and my unit was facing off the goddess when I got one of her 'All Killing Ash Bones' in my legs."

A beat of silence, the weight of her words settling on him. Seventeen when she and Kakashi-sensei fought a god. Sai peered up at her, Sakura's face unreadable, her eyes distant.

"Kakashi had to cut it off and then I had to heal it." She tapped the purple diamond on her forehead. "Thankfully, we're both badasses and Kakashi has a soft spot for strays."

Sai stilled at the words, fingers flexing a bit. Kakashi had been the one to cut it off? He swallowed roughly, "Is that why you learned the mokuton?"

"Not exactly," Sakura answered, glancing down at him. "I'm from a civilian family who was killed during the war, so I was orphaned pretty young. The war was raging by then and it was either survive or die." She was too quiet, solemn in a way that didn't fit her. Sakura was larger than life, her laugh too loud, her smile too big. It unnerved him, the quiet, made him fidget, restless.

"I learned it because I had to, because I knew I could do it. There are things you do to survive, this was one of them." A shrug and then a smile, "Tenzo was the one who really got me thinking about the leg though, he likes building houses with his wood release so I just had to figure out how to make a leg that would react to my chakra and work like a real one."

Sai blinked up at his teacher, his friend, his hero, and smiled, "You're pretty cool Sakura-shishou."

Sakura turned a bright pink and smacked Sai on the head, "Flattery will get you nowhere, you brat."

He grinned widely this time, taking her in. Sakura was a hero, she was the definition of glory with scars and muscle and— "Is that Sensei's shirt?"

She made him clean Naruto's apartment without chakra the next day.

.

.

.

Kakashi-sensei didn't stand a fucking change when they redid the bell test.

It was laughable.

Sakura lost her shit on the sidelines, clutching her sides and howling so hard that Sasuke started laughing too, then Naruto, and even Sai snickered.

The look on Kakashi-sensei's face when Sai cleaved the land in two with his bare fists would have let Sasuke die a happy man, it was hilarious, hysterical, down right humorous. And then when Naruto ambushed him with hundreds of clones? Don't get Sasuke started.

He owed Sakura a kiss on the cheek for having a camera and snapping as many pictures as she could. This was something he wanted to remember forever, something that even the sharingan couldn't just capture. The warmth and familiarity and feeling of home was so overwhelming. He wanted to treasure this, now and forever. And show it off to whoever he could.

Kakashi looked at them, betrayal written all over his face. "What happened to my cute little students?" He wondered mournfully.

Sakura laughed harder as she came to heal his injuries, Sai going to Sasuke and Naruto.

"Poor Kashi," She teased, brushing the hair from his face as Sasuke and Naruto openly gaped. Sai ran a glowing green hand over their bruises and cuts, giving them unimpressed looks as Sakura teased Kakashi-sensei mercilessly.

(Sai just rolled his eyes at his teammates' stupidity. Then again, the two of them didn't even realize that they were in love with each other, how were they supposed to see that Sakura and Kakashi were married?)

"Let's get ramen!" Sakura declared and Naruto's yell of excitement was loud enough to scare some birds nearby.

.

.

.

Naruto could barely lift his head to watch as the earth quaked, roots moving to shelter him from the falling debris.

A blur of pink and Sakura stood at his side, baring her teeth in an animalistic snarl, her eyes glowed otherworldly green. A clone was at his side in an instant, glowing hands treating his wounds while Sakura tore towards the immortal ninja.

"You're the fuckin' God Eater?" Hidan sneered, though Naruto could barely make out the flash of fear in his eyes. "Pink hair? You fuckin' with me, you're the bitch?"

Somewhere to his left Kakashi-sensei moaned, another one of Sakura's clones pulling out a blade from his stomach. "Sakura."

It was supposed to be a simple mission, just him and Kakashi-sensei escorting a wealthy merchant across the country. The mission was easy but the ambusch came out of nowhere, the two bounty hunters looking to cash Kakashi and Naruto's heads in.

He could have sworn they killed them.

One of them had pinned Kakashi into the ground with a sword in his stomach like a bug. Naruto was powerful and fast but he couldn't take on two immortals at once and he would never abandon a comrade.

But Sakura was here and it had taken a few years and Pervy Sage confirming his thoughts that Haruno Sakura was the Woman Who Ate God. Which just meant that Naruto would have to work harder and be stronger to stand next to her as equals. Which also meant that he could relax because Sakura had always been there to help and protect them.

(She always will be.)

"You tried to kill, Kakashi." Naruto did not recognize her voice, cold and malicious and too quiet. "And you tried hurting Naruto."

It was all the warning the rouge nins got before Sakura was on them.

Naruto looked away, bile claws at his throat at the sick sound of burning flesh and the ear splitting scream of begging, but when he turned back, there was nothing but a pile of melting flesh. Sakura standing in the middle of it, head tilted up as if basking in the kill, breathing in the death. Something cold washed down his spine, something like dread. Something like admiration.

"Sakura-chan," Jiraiya murmured. "did not used to be how she is. She was always ruthless and hardworking but a child doesn't grow up in the middle of a war and come out of it okay."

Naruto just frowned, "Sakura-chan's badass, the hell you going on 'bout?"

"She ate a god, Naruto. And after, she was never the same." Devastation flits across his face, so strong and pure that Naruto paused. "We thrusted that war and burdens onto children and they paid the price, Sakura and Kakashi most of all." Pervy Sage looked up at Naruto from over the fire, "Don't ever forget that Sakura is the most dangerous thing walking the planet, Naruto."

.

.

.

Sakura spent her thirty-second birthday in a hospital bed because God Eater or not, if one gets stabbed in the heart with a poisonous blade, one may just die.

(She didn't, obviously, because she's the Woman Who Ate God. She survived worse than a twisted sword to her heart and some really deadly poison.)

(Tsunade yelled at her for an entire hour about idiot apprentices who forgot to dodge because they ate a god. Sakura thought it was hilarious.)

The boys walked in to Kakashi-sensei's mask pulled down as he kissed Sakura breathless, hands in her hair.

"Marry me." He demanded, kissing her between the words as Sakura giggled, fingers tracing his spine.

"We're already married," She pointed out and Kakashi kisses her again and again and again-

"So, you really aren't gay." Sasuke blurted because his face was red and he really did not want to watch Kakashi stick his tongue down Sakura's throat. It was worse than walking in on Itachi trying to flirt with Iruka-sensei's picture taped to the bathroom mirror.

"Wait." Naruto said, flabbergasted and flailing. "You're married?! "

"For eleven years." Sai added blandly, giving the two of them a blank look that screamed arrogance.

"What the fuck?" Naruto whispered, squeezing Sasuke's hand, the other man staring at them, pale faced.

"Dear kami," Sakura whispered, eyeing the tempura in Sasuke's other hand. "I think we broke them. Sai, my love, bring me that tempura Sasuke brought me, I'm starving."

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.

.

"I still can't believe you married Kakashi-sensei," Naruto whined, head in Sakura's lap as she read the latest Icha Icha book.

"You don't get to talk," She rumbled, "You're dating Sasuke."

Silence.

"What's wrong with Sasuke?!"

"Naruto, we don't have time to get into this." Sakura grinned down at him, "But Sai has a forty paged list that he's been saving for this moment."

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.

.

There is a picture hanging in the Hatake family's living room, kept in a cheap but sturdy frame.

The five of them are laughing, Sakura with her arm around Kakashi's waist, his around her shoulders. Naruto kisses her cheek and Sai's chin digs into her scalp. Sasuke's smile is radiant as he leans into Naruto's side, their arms looped.

(It is the soft, soft life that they had only dared to dream about.)