"Earlier this morning Detective Nam and I paid a visit to Inspector Song Hayoung..."
He's been trying to avoid thinking about it for quite some time. On one end he didn't want to overly worry about it; yet on the other hand he was not sure of what he should tell his other colleagues about it. It's still only a few years since they started the Behavioural Analysis team in this department. It had been rough from the start and the team faced a lot of difficulty and hardship to get the other departments to accept the work that they've been doing.
Criminal Profiling was still a new concept to many of his other colleagues, and he understood why some of the officers would be wary of the team's function within the organisation. But he always believed that as long as they worked hard to show how important criminal profiling is to everyone, everything else should work out well in the end. And they did manage to get people to acknowledge and accept this as part of the new way to conduct investigations.
That should be good, right? Since nowadays they kept encountering criminals whom you can't quite deal with them using the old ways. For a while, he thought that things would get better soon once they were able to train new officers to become new batches of criminal profilers. With more profilers in the team, there'll be a much lesser burden than that would be placed on just the three of them to deal with.
But wishful thoughts like that wouldn't come by so easily, could it?
Hayoung's accident really weighed on his mind a lot. He still couldn't forget the look on Hayoung's face when the man told him that he didn't want to return to work after he was discharged. But of course. After all the trash that Nam Kitae said to him back then, how could anyone not be affected by it?
Captain Yoon said it best back then. That this job they were doing wasn't for the faint-hearted. It wasn't really an easy job. While on the surface it looked as if all they ever did was talk to criminals, the actual job that they do was a lot more complicated than that. As it was, trying to convince some hardheaded psychopathic criminals to open up to you wasn't as simple as just chatting up to them and hoping that they could be fooled enough to divulge everything to you without telling any lies.
Attempting to delve deeply into the hearts of evil... from the very beginning, he knew that it would be a very difficult task to do. But if even Hayoung couldn't handle it, how could he let those other would-be criminal profilers take on this difficult task head-on?
Yet, if there was a saving grace... he's glad to see so many people now starting to care a lot about Hayoung. And he was aware of how Captain Yoon had grown close to Hayoung in the past few years they've worked together.
After his last talk with Hayoung, he had considered asking Captain Yoon to help him on the matters with Hayoung. But if even Captain Yoon couldn't convince Hayoung to change his mind about quitting, guess there's really nothing left for him to do but wait for Hayoung to figure it out by himself.
xxx
"Hyung... how about we go for some drinks?"
He might as well tell Gilpyo about what happened. Since it's not like he could hide it for too long. As much as they did need Hayoung's help with the missing women cases, he couldn't exactly force Hayoung back to work before he was ready. So until that moment comes, he needed to make do with just himself working alongside Gilpyo and Chief Park. But the more the investigation dragged on, surely even those two would be curious as to why Hayoung still didn't come to help them with the case.
So that's what Youngsoo did the moment they managed to settle down at the bar. He told Gilpyo about the accident, the last case that they were handling... as well as the last conversation he had with Hayoung.
Because it didn't sit well with him; every time he heard Chief Park assumed that fame has gotten into Hayoung's head that he wouldn't bother with cases from some rural area. Since Hayoung wasn't that kind of person to do that. Hayoung also wasn't the type to keep grudges on people to the point that he wouldn't want to help the people who didn't get along with him.
Gilpyo let out a gasp before shaking his head in exasperation.
"Gosh... I've been working in the force for about 30 years. And in my opinion, you're the best cop Korea has."
Youngsoo blinked at the other man. Now that was unexpected. They were just talking about Hayoung earlier, but now the conversation was shifted towards himself.
"Now that was random, what are you even trying to say?" he asked as Gilpyo just shrugged.
"I've never seen you second guess yourself, you only focus on the job. You don't let the job get to you."
Youngsoo gave the man a long stare. Was that true? Maybe it was... or not. He still couldn't forget the time he got drunk enough that he lost his ID tag only to be picked up by Gu Youngchun. He wouldn't say that the job never got to him at all.
But suppose that was the impression his other colleagues would see of him...
"So for the past 20 years, I've been watching over you killing at it without much trouble. Aah, and I realized that people like you were born to be police officers."
"So I was proud to have a competent junior like you."
Gilpyo smiled at him before swallowing another mouthful of beer.
"But the guy you scouted... Song Hayoung, he's exactly like you. He reminded me of you in every sense of the word!"
Oh, now they're back to talking about Hayoung. But what did Gilpyo mean by—?
"Why? How did he remind you of me?" Now that's ridiculous. How was he like Hayoung? The two of them didn't even look alike! "Our Hayoung is young, handsome... and looks great in a perm..."
... how could Hayoung be similar to me?
Gilpyo just laughed at him.
"You two can't see it. But in my opinion, Kook Youngsoo and Song Hayoung are the same," said Gilpyo again before frowning. "So that's what made me worried all of a sudden."
Youngsoo looked up at his friend right away.
"You... worried about who?"
Gilpyo gave him an incredulous look. "Isn't it obvious? It's you."
Youngsoo frowned at his friend.
Gilpyo was worried about me?
"Why? I'm a grown man." And as much as he was living alone right now, he still had a wife and child. Why would Gilpyo be worrying about him?
"It's easy to come back after running away once. But, people who never thought about resigning ever... were working together. So I was worried that both of you might give up if one of you crumbled down."
He blinked at his friend in surprise. Now that Gilpyo has said it, he supposed that he and Hayoung were indeed very similar in that sense. The more he thought of it, that's probably also the reason why he could get along with Hayoung so well. And why for him to receive Hayoung's resignation letter... it really wrecked him inside.
"You do have a point. That's exactly what I've been feeling right now."
He sighed. "Just like you said, for the last 20 years I've been wrong. It doesn't feel like I've been focusing on the job. Because I've been busy, maybe I've failed to take care of my team. I wonder if I've been doing it wrong all these times."
xxx
"Cops... are humans too..."
Youngsoo let out another sigh as he continued walking back from the bar by himself. The hazy sensation inside his head already started to dissipate and it did feel as if he was beginning to sober up again.
Suppose Gilpyo did have reasons to worry about him. As much as the Analysis team had been created with the help of many people, it doesn't change the fact that the core of the team had always been Hayoung and him. And if Hayoung was to take himself out of the team...
...he'll probably be lost.
Youngsoo let out a long sigh before looking up in surprise. Somehow, without thinking... he had ended up walking all the way to the hospital Hayoung was hospitalised in.
What should he do now? Should he just turn back home?
Youngsoo's phone suddenly gave out an alert sound as he took it out to check it. But before he could take a look at who it was that had sent him a message, a familiar voice called out to him.
It was Hayoung's mother...
xxx
The message had been from Woojoo. He forgot that they did plan to visit Hayoung at the hospital together. Since it'd be a shame for Hayoung to just spend the Christmas night with just him and his mother. Guess the plan kinda slipped his mind.
But since he was already at the hospital, he figured that he might as well drop by for a bit. And then he ended up meeting Hayoung, Woojoo and Reporter Choi just as the elevator door opened.
Seeing Hayoung already able to walk about by himself was enough for him to be at ease. So he decided to leave with Woojoo and Reporter Choi since it was already very late.
He could always have that talk again with Hayoung some other day.
"I'll see you guys at work later..."
Youngsoo blinked as the words that Hayoung said to them before the elevator door closed, finally started to register in his mind.
"W-what... did Hayoung say just now?" Youngsoo asked slowly... as Woojoo repeated the same words that he had heard. He couldn't believe it!
It felt as if it had been ages ago since he heard Hayoung telling him that he wanted to quit. And he thought that it'll take a very long time for Hayoung to get back on his feet again and get back to work.
But just now... Hayoung told him that he'll see everyone at the office!
A chuckle broke out of his throat before gradually turning into soft laughter. Hayoung's finally returning to work! He changed his mind about quitting!
Just that thought was enough to shed light on the darkness that's been clouding his mind for the last few months.
