Author's Note: Hey everyone! Sooo, this story is a little more on the serious side. Spoiler warning for Book IV (even though its already been a couple years), and soft trigger warning concerning matters regarding child abuse/negligence. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy!


Triandra watched with fleeting interest as the rain continued to fall, the faint patter as the drops impacted with the earth echoing throughout the empty outdoor garden she was currently occupying. As the spring season arrived in Askr, many expected the occasional spring shower. However, no one was prepared for the miniature rainstorm that suddenly swept the kingdom out of nowhere. With only the most resolute Heroes going out to do foot patrols in the storm, the summoner declared today to be an impromptu day off for the Order and encouraged everyone to stay inside to avoid catching cold.

While many of the Heroes decided to accept the summoner's offer and spend time relaxing in the comfort of their quarters or gather together for group activities within the castle, there were of course the odd bunch who struck off on their own despite the dreary weather outside, preferring their own company. Such was the case with Triandra, who decided to admire one of the castle's open-air inner gardens from the safety of a short overhang extending outward from the stretch of hallway that ran parallel to the garden. Ordinarily, the morose dokkalfr would have preferred the isolation of the nearby gazebo, but the rain had already begun to fall in earnest by the time she had arrived, and she didn't fancy getting any part of her drenched for any length of time, especially her wings.

Silence reigned around Triandra save for the subtle hiss of the rain as it fell and pelted the damp earth. It was a peculiar thing to the young dokkalfr, the rain. In Dokkalfheimr, there was no rain simply because there was no need for it; everything was as it was according to Lady Freyja's power. Another peculiarity Triandra had noted was how some Heroes loved the rain, or even those that romanticized it. Triandra shook her head at such ridiculous sentiments. While there was never any rain in the realm of nightmares, there were plenty of mortals who dreamt of rain. Nightmares of violent storms assaulting seaborn vessels, devastating floods that ravaged villages, and even heavy downpours as individuals vainly fled from monsters of all sorts pursuing them through the deluge. Triandra had seen it all; she was, after all, the one who delivers such nightmares.

But beyond all those nightmares she delivered, there was another reason Triandra held no fanciful affinity for rain. She scowled as unwanted memories began to creep into her mind. Memories of booming thunder and the deafening din of water striking earth, of shivering both from the cold and from fear. The sensation of being soaked to the bone in drenched rags, not knowing whether your face was wet from the merciless onslaught of the storm or from flowing tears. But the most vivid memory Triandra began to recall was cradling a young girl close to herself to preserve whatever warmth the two had between them. And although the little girl's sobs were nearly drowned out by the rain, Triandra could still hear her calling her name in a scared, fragile voice…

"T-Triandra?"

Triandra suppressed a flinch upon hearing the familiar voice from her own nightmares speaking in the waking world, reluctantly turning to face the speaker meekly floating a few feet away from her. "Peony." Triandra greeted flatly, schooling her features into her usual apathetic mask. "Did you need something?" The ljosalfr offered a smile despite Triandra's curt tone, though the dokkalfar noticed that the girl's smile was slightly…dimmer than what it usually is. "Well, Kiran was going to teach us all a game from his world and invited us to his study." Peony began meekly. "So, I thought you'd might like to…y'know…join us? I'm sure it'll be fun!"

The dokkalfr didn't hesitate to shake her head. "I have no interest in such things," she stated plainly. Peony frowned at the bluntness of Triandra's refusal. "Oh, come on! Aren't you lonely here all by yourself?" Again, Triandra shook her head. "I am content here as I am." Despite the finality conveyed in that sentence, Peony remained undeterred. "Please, Triandra? I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself if you give it a chance! Plus, it's nice and cozy inside, and there's lots of yummy food and drinks, and I'm sure everyone would be happy to see-"

"Peony."

The ljosalfr stopped her rambling at the curt tone and hard look Triandra was giving her. "What's the point of all of this? What does it matter to you whether I am present or not?" At this, Peony faltered, her gaze drooping as her hands nervously played with the hem of her dress. "W-well…" She began, her tone meek and uncertain. "I…also thought it would be nice, y'know? I mean, you and I, we could…sorta…get to know each other." Emboldened by her own words, Peony managed to regain eye contact as hope pushed her onward. "Now that we're allies in the Order of Heroes, we could start over. We can be friends now! We…we can finally be like sis-"

"Stop."

"H-huh…?" Peony faltered at the icy tone Triandra spoke in. "That's…enough." Confusion and hurt swirled in Peony's eyes, her previously eager smile melting away. "T-Triandra?" Shaking her head, Triandra turned her back on Peony in an attempt to dismiss the ljosalfr. "I have given you my answer, Peony. Allies we may be, but that is all we are to each other; nothing more, nothing less." With that, the dokkalfr began to make her way back to the solitude of her room, eager to put this encounter behind her. "W-wait!" However, her escape was halted by a weight holding her back, two hands clasped tightly around her right hand. Sighing in exasperation, Triandra didn't bother to look behind her as she addressed the stubborn girl clinging to her. "Let go, Peony."

"No!" Peony shouted, her wings beating furiously as she attempted to drag the sullen girl in her clutches along with her. Clicking her tongue in annoyance, Triandra forcefully yanked her hand out of Peony's own, but the ljosalfr wasted no time in snatching it back in an even tighter grip. "Let…go!" Triandra growled, using her free hand to try and pry Peony's hands off of her. The two struggled against each other, the beating of their wings looking to any would-be onlooker as if two giant butterflies were locked in combat with each other. Finally managing to dig her fingers underneath Peony's, Triandra grit her teeth as her nails began to bite into the palm of Peony's hand, causing the girl to yelp in pain. "Ow! Please, stop!" Ignoring the girl's plea, Triandra fought desperately to free herself, another inch of freedom being paid for with another pained cry. "S-stop it…" Peony whimpered, doing her best to maintain her grip. Her frustration getting the better of her, Triandra attempted one last push by intentionally driving her nails into Peony's hand, eliciting a pained cry.

"Sister, please!"

Immediately, Triandra froze, her body going nearly catatonic. With no more resistance, Peony withdrew her sore hand and began nursing it. Triandra blinked before staring dully at her hands, then towards Peony's injured hand, as if being roused from a bout of sleepwalking. Finally, the stunned dokkalfr found her voice to be able to break the tense silence. "Don't…don't call me that." Peony looked up from her hand to stare at Triandra with wounded eyes. "What…?" Shaking her head furiously, Triandra turned to flee again, but was stopped once more by Peony's desperate cry. "Sister, wait!"

"I said don't call me that!" Triandra whirled around fiercely, her voice uncharacteristically raised to a shout. Peony flinched, the ambient sound of the rain almost deafening after Triandra's outburst. Taking a moment to gather herself, the dokkalfr spoke again in a slightly hoarse voice. "I…am not your sister…not anymore." Peony shook her head as tears began to prick at the corners of her eyes. "Wh-why? Why are you being so mean? Of course, you're my sister! I remember!"

"Then stop remembering!" Triandra bit out, though the sharpness of her words failed to reach her eyes. "That girl…is gone. She was weak. She only exists in your dreams…and in my nightmares." Blinking back the tears threatening to burst forth, Peony fluttered forward a step, the pain in her hand forgotten in favor of the pain blooming in her heart. "B-but it doesn't have to stay like that! Please, Triandra!" Triandra hesitated, but nonetheless shook her head, quashing whatever feeling was resonating with the ljosalfr's plea. "I have nothing more to say, Peony." Again, the Nightmare turned her back and made to leave, half-expecting Peony to grab her hand again.

Instead, a rush of air passed by her left side and Triandra suddenly found Peony in front of her. Before she could react, Peony charged at her and clung tightly to Triandra in a bear hug. "Please, sister! Don't go! Please don't leave!" The ljosalfr wailed, leaving Triandra stunned at the sudden outburst of emotion. The two stayed un-moving in the empty hallway for minutes that felt like hours, the only sounds being Peony's barely stifled sobs and the hissing of the rain in the background.

Finally, Peony felt a hand being laid on her shoulder, and she braced herself to be removed from the one-sided embrace. However, instead of shoving her off, the hand merely stayed on her shoulder, while another hand perched itself on her head and, to her surprise, pulled her closer into the embrace. As the second hand began to stroke her hair, a gentle voice filled Peony's ears. "Don't cry. I'm here, I'll keep you safe." The voice soothed.

Gasping in surprise, Peony lifted her head despite herself, her shocked expression mirrored by Triandra's. "Wh-what…?" The dokkalfr murmured aloud in confusion. "Why…did I say that?" Sniffling, Peony dried her eyes with her forearm, a small, hopeful smile beginning to tug at her lips. "You see? I know my sister is in their still. She…just needs to be woken up, that's all." Releasing Triandra, Peony then reached forward and gently took both of the dokkalfr's hands in her own, lifting them between the two of them. "I…I want to see my sister again, Triandra. I want to laugh with her, cry with her, play with her and hug her. I…want to smile with her, just like in my dreams. Or, rather, my memories." Triandra blinked as she stared at the hands holding hers before turning her gaze away to stare at the stone wall. "Even so…I don't deserve such a dream to come true. I don't deserve…that smile."

Peony frowned at the dokkalfr's stubbornness as she gave Triandra's hands a gentle squeeze. "What are you talking about?" Triandra sighed, still averting her gaze. "You wouldn't understand. That smile…I'm not worthy of it. Not after what I've done…" Even as she spoke those words, Triandra couldn't deny the dull ache in her chest when she uttered them. Not for the first time, Triandra wished that she could have stayed ignorant of those memories…that they both had…

"Hey, Triandra? Look at me, please?"

Reluctantly, Triandra slowly turned her head towards Peony, and had to stifle a gasp of her own as she was met with Peony's trademark bright smile. "I don't know what's bothering you…or what you say you did that makes you think we can't be together again. But…" Inching closer, Peony gave a sweet smile that radiated warmth like the sun itself. "What I do know is that you're my sister, and I love you. I missed you, even though I didn't realize it before my memories returned." Gripping Triandra's hands firmly, Peony spoke with a steely conviction that was juxtaposed to her smile. "And no matter what you may have done before, it doesn't change the fact that I love you!"

Triandra's eyes widened, her mind going blank in the face of such sheer kindness and affection. She didn't know what to say; how was she supposed to respond to such a declaration? A large part of her couldn't believe it, that someone like her could even be worthy to stand anywhere near such a bright smile. It was unthinkable, a fantasy, unbelievable even. And yet…

"…where…"

"Hm?" Peony quirked her eyebrow in confusion, not hearing what the dokkalfr murmured. Taking a deep breath, her eyes looking askance, Triandra spoke more clearly. "Where…did you say everyone was?"


"Hey, everyone! Sorry I'm late!"

Peony announced in her bright, bouncy tone as she entered Kiran's study room with a huge smile on her face, any trace of previous sadness completely wiped away. Looking up from the set of cards in his hands, Kiran smiled at the ljosalfr's entrance. "Hey, Peony! Glad you could make it. Oh!" Kiran's eyes widened for a moment as a second figure silently slid inside behind Peony before relaxing back into its previous expression. "Hey, Triandra! Glad to see you here. Go ahead and make yourself comfortable. There are some snacks and drinks on my desk if you want any."

"Six!" Sharena suddenly exclaimed, looking eagerly at Kiran. "Nope. Go fish." The summoner intoned without missing a beat, causing the princess to groan and draw a card from a small stack in front of her. Beside her, Alfonse chuckled whilst nodding at the two arriving alfr, while Ylgr and Reginn giggled at Sharena's misfortune.

Glancing around the room, Triandra took note of all of the Heroes gathered inside. Behind Kiran, Fjorm and Gunnthra sat on the summoner's bed watching with pleasant smiles as Kiran continued playing an unfamiliar card game with the small group of noble youths, while Mirabilis snoozed contently on the opposite end of the bed. Near the window, Eir idly watched the rain fall outside, giving a brief nod to Peony and Triandra. In another corner, Anna was talking animatedly with the newcomer Ash and, surprisingly, Queen Henriette. Hrid and Laegjarn were holding an amicable conversation in another corner of the room, while Laevatein stood stoically next to her sister. Triandra was surprised to see even Plumeria in attendance, her fellow dokkalfr quirking an eyebrow from her shady corner of the room before returning her attention to the cup of tea in her hands.

Looking around, Triandra couldn't help but feel alienated by the light, relaxed atmosphere of it all. She…didn't feel like she belonged here. However, a tug on her hand broke out of her gloomy musings, directing her attention to Peony's inviting smile. That smile…it was that smile that compelled Triandra to follow…her sister…further into the room. She still didn't fully believe that she deserved to receive that smile again, to be in the presence of such unconditional kindness. But perhaps, just for this moment, Triandra could indulge in this sweet dream, to dare to hope that she was indeed worthy.

Maybe then, one day, she could also learn to smile again like the girl from Peony's dreams.


I've said it before and I'll say it again: the alfr cast. Deserved. Better.

Additionally, for anyone who thinks they aren't worthy of experiencing or receiving love - especially due to past circumstances or mistakes - I just want to let you know that you are more than worthy. Even if you don't believe it now, I hope and pray one day you will. Have an awesome day everyone!