A/N: First of all, happy 10 year anniversary of the show! This is another entry in what's apparently becoming a one-shot series of canon analysis of the Olitz relationship. The Fitz pov post-Defiance story I had planned wasn't working out so for now, I've put that on hold. Life has been intense so I don't know if I'll be able to continue my rewatch and, as a result, writing, but this story came to me and the writing flowed really well. Reviews are deeply appreciated, if you have the time please share your thoughts. Thank you for reading!
Olivia has been trying to get work done for hours now, yet she can't seem to bring herself to focus. She's aware she's avoiding thinking about it, still, the image of him dancing with Mellie all night long haunts her. The way she's allowed to stay by his side on what may be the most important day of his life while she has to hide behind closed doors to avoid being hurt.
It doesn't matter what he tells her, how he touches her when they're alone, they can't ever be truly together, he's too important for that. So she buries herself in work, maybe that will be enough, a distraction from the ever-present loneliness that threatens to crush her. Once more Olivia tells herself: he is married, he isn't hers.
She doesn't last long. Not even the comfort of her favorite couch in her office is enough to make her focus. Since work isn't enough, she goes for the next option, walking around the White House. Olivia doesn't bother with shoes, everyone's either home or at the inaugural ball, so if she's going to be miserable the least she can do is allow herself some luxury.
Her attempt to decompress is interrupted as she overhears Cyrus and James arguing. Another dirty little secret. She should walk away, but she can't bring herself to move. Everyone in this house seems to be hiding those whom they love. Maybe this is what this place means, lies and pretense, while true happiness is short-lived and taken in stolen moments.
She's caught by surprise when Cyrus leaves the room. She tries to turn around or hide, yet Cyrus sees her, and she has to lie to him.
"I'm heading out to meet the President and Mellie at the party ball. You want a ride? I have a limo." Cyrus asks, still agitated after his confrontation with James.
"I'm not gonna go. I hate dancing." Olivia replies, attempting to laugh at herself. I hate dancing. She's not sure exactly who she's trying to convince.
Karma works in mysterious and ironic ways. It doesn't matter how hard Olivia has tried all evening to avoid any television, she thought that if she didn't see him perhaps the pain would go away. This is what she gets for eavesdropping and relating too much to Cyrus living a lie. As she catches a glimpse of the TV in the journalist's office she can't help stopping to look at Fitz and Mellie dancing, noticing the way he looks and smiles at her.
She knows it isn't real. She taught both of them how to fake it and how to seem like they're in love. Nevertheless, her heart still aches as she watches them. She reminds herself once again: he is not hers. And just like all the times before she remains with a heavy heart.
Considering her disastrous attempt to distract herself, Olivia goes back to work. It's not much, but it's enough to clear her head. She can't afford to feel sorry for herself, she knew what she was getting into when she whispered his name and chose to go into his hotel room. So she takes a breath and focuses on the task at hand, going over Fitz's speeches in the upcoming week.
She manages around an hour of work done before her phone rings. Olivia has to check her watch as there are very few people who would call her office this late. She picks up and can barely contain the warmth and joy the sound of his voice brings. They had agreed their time together was over now that he was finally president, yet she couldn't simply turn off the way her body reacted to his voice and his presence, nor how the sight of him filled her heart.
Despite her best efforts she still hoped she would see him tonight, somehow getting to be a part of such a special day for him. So she says yes, she will meet him in his office, what else can she do?
Olivia grabs her shoes, fixes her hair, and slowly walks through the halls of the West Wing. The anticipation sends shivers down her spine. Fitz looked so handsome in his tuxedo and she barely saw him today. Did he think about her? Or was he too busy to notice she wasn't there? A pervasive anxiety accompanies Olivia throughout.
When she finally opens the door and walks in, Olivia takes a second to observe the room, the Oval. All the hard work, the campaign stops, the debates, compromising herself, all to get him here. She knows standing in this room proves she was successful and this success now means she has to let him go, so Fitz doesn't have any distractions. However, she doesn't have the willpower to not come when he asks for her, it doesn't matter that she's been in pain watching him be with his wife. This is the time they have and she'll be damned if she won't choose him given the chance. So here she is, alone in the most powerful room in the world.
The sight of him when he walks in takes Olivia's breath away.
"Hi," Fitz says with glassy eyes, gaze fixed on her from the other side of the room.
She makes herself break eye contact, distracting herself with the furniture to avoid him. "What are you doing here?" she asks, deflecting, feeling the thickness in the air.
"It's my office. Not bad, huh?" Fitz replies, cockiness in his every word as he starts to remove his jacket.
Olivia coyly averts his tone, his gaze. "You're supposed to be at the inaugural ball."
"I was at four inaugural balls, and now I'm here... With you," Fitz knows what she's doing, talking about work and appointments, so he reminds her of them, their bond.
It's the greatest day of his career and now he gets to make love to her. Inebriated from a day full of highs, all he can think about is unleashing all of his desire and his love for her in this very room.
"Where's Mellie?" Olivia asks. Even if her question is designed to drive him away she still starts walking towards Fitz, with her arms crossed, trying to somehow guard herself while also aching to be closer to him.
"Two floors and a whole wing away," he replies as he unbuttons his cufflinks and rolls up his sleeves, stealthily preparing himself for his first act in office.
"Mr. President," Olivia can't contain her smile as she calls him by his title for the first time. Knowing how much he wants her and how by the tone of his voice how ready he is to touch her. The formality is meant to create some distance but she can't help being playful, instigating this game they're playing.
"I like that. Say it again," Fitz orders with a predatory smile.
Olivia walks back with a smile on her face, enjoying the way he's chasing her. Seductively she obeys his command. "Mr. President."
"Mm-hmm."
"We can't." Now she fully turns her back on him, trying to regain some control of the situation.
"We can," Fitz says, grabbing her from behind and wrapping his arms around her stomach. He tenderly starts kissing the special spot on her neck and caressing her lower stomach.
"Look around you. Look where we are. This can't happen, not anymore." While Olivia tries to argue the reasons they should not do this, she can't help stroking his face and slipping her fingers through his hair, feeling the softness.
At this point, Fitz chooses to ignore Olivia. He keeps one hand on her stomach and the other one holds her breast. Intoxicated by the feel of her he exhales and suggests "I think it can happen right there on that desk." As soon as he says it Fitz knows she's thinking about it too, imagining how good it would feel.
Olivia lets out a smile. She knows this is wrong, she knows she has to stop it, but every time he gets too close, she can't think. So she murmurs no to his idea and removes herself from his embrace.
"We decided we have to stop," since she can't seem to convince herself, maybe if she convinces him to let her go it will be easier.
Olivia keeps pushing him away as if this is just a fling they can both quit without looking back. So Fitz concentrates on how he feels. He knows she loves him, he only has to choose his words carefully so she'll let go of her fear.
"I spent the whole night dancing, but never with the one person I actually wanted to dance with," he says as he moves closer to her, touching her waist so she'll turn around to face him.
Olivia knows she should leave, that would be the responsible thing to do, but she can only remain in his arms and look at him. Allowing herself to feel the intensity of his gaze, the honesty in his eyes, so sure of wanting her. What can she do but also admit to how much she desires him? She kisses him.
Their kisses are slow and passionate.
It's only when her body touches the Resolute Desk that Olivia realizes the implications of what she's doing. "Stop."
"No," Fitz replies and kisses her once more, trying to clear the desk so he can have more room.
"Stop," Olivia gives his hair a slight touch, but wills herself into breaking the kiss. She knows she'll only control the situation if he understands why they shouldn't do this.
"No," he mumbles, too lost in the moment to care about Olivia's worries about what they should or should not do.
"Stop, Fitz. Fitz," she says his name to bring him back to reality, pushing him away and creating some distance between them so she can think straight. Olivia takes a deep breath, trying to recompose herself.
"We can't stop," Fitz corrects himself. His face is smeared with lipstick and his eyes remain hungry for her. He thinks this is a momentary relapse, that she allowed doubt to creep in, but he has to know whether she's sure or not, so he corrects himself. "I can't," he says, still out of breath. "You're the most important person in my life. I can't just stop. Can you?" Fitz chooses his words carefully, giving her the space she needs for her to choose whether she wants him or not, and to see if she's willing to act on her own desires.
Staring at him she knows she will choose him, how could she not, she wants him too much. He's offering himself to her and fully admitting to not being able to control himself when it comes to her so why would she.
Without breaking eye contact Olivia responds with her body, sitting on the desk and hiking her skirt, making room for Fitz to settle himself between her thighs. An invitation for him to start touching her once more.
As he reaches closer Olivia takes the opportunity to study him, his chest, his neck, his lips. When he finally kisses her she launches herself onto him, trying to close the gap that separates their bodies. With her left hand on his hair, she pulls him closer while she moves her right hand to feel his ass and press his body even closer to her.
Meanwhile, Fitz gets his hands inside her dress, eager to have her in his mouth. Olivia adjusts herself, leaning on the desk, but now standing so he can remove her panties. Fitz busies himself kissing her all over, her neck, her nipples through the dress, her stomach, her thighs, her pussy.
Again and again, they've had to rush their lovemaking because of their lack of time, but tonight is special, so they allow themselves to move slower than the rhythm they're used to. The pace and their movements feel lethargic in a way that makes Olivia lose track of time while he's licking through her every fold. Closing her eyes and trying to keep a steady breath to heighten the experience, she loses herself.
Fitz keeps one hand on her hips to keep her stable and the other one on her thighs as he slowly traces circles on her clit using his tongue, enjoying the little moans Olivia lets out, concentrating on how she tastes and how her body responds to his actions. How a flick of his tongue makes her knees weak or how she tightens her grip on his hair when he hits a special spot.
Olivia lets herself relax into it in his mouth, but after a while, she wants to kiss him and feel him inside her, so she gives a slight tug on his hair for him to stop and the look he gives her is filled with pure, unadulterated hunger. His mouth still has some of her lipstick on it but now his face also shimmers with sweat and with some of her wetness around his lips.
She doesn't wait for him to completely stand up to kiss him, she meets him halfway, wanting to feel his tongue inside her mouth as quickly as possible. He finishes standing up mid-kiss and Olivia notices she ends up breaking the kiss exactly when he was about to deepen it, but she doesn't care, she's too focused on unbuckling him.
As soon as Olivia has a grip on his belt she goes back to kissing him, letting her hands work seamlessly through the motions that have become almost second nature to her. With her legs around his hips, she wraps one hand around his neck so he doesn't even think about breaking away from the kiss. Meanwhile, she starts stroking him slowly. This doesn't last long. She wants him inside her so she guides him to her entrance and he bites her shoulder to muffle his groan.
With Fitz still moving inside her, Olivia removes his shirt so she can feel more of his skin and run her nails through his back as he pushes deeper and deeper. The pace is delicious, yet torturous.
"Fitz, I need more," Olivia says, almost in a whisper.
With a swift motion, he pulls out from inside her, kisses her deeply, grabs her hair and pulls it with just a little bit of strength, and then breaks the kiss so he can use his hands to grab her waist and turn her around, bending her over the desk. Aligning himself to her entrance so he can enter her from behind, he goes in slowly, maintaining his previous unhurried pace but now he's able to reach even deeper.
Olivia arches her back to make more room for him and reaches her hand out to him so they can still hold onto each other while he moves inside her and touches her clit with his fingers, sustaining this connection in all the ways they can.
As Olivia moans grow louder and louder she has to close her eyes and grab the desk with both of her hands to steady herself as Fitz picks up his pace, using his hands to hold her hips he moves his cock in and out of her again and again, until she comes with a scream. Fitz needs a couple of more thrusts to reach his own release and when he finally does he collapses on her back.
Olivia turns around to look at him with a glimmer in her eyes and lets out a giggle, simply content to be with him.
When she finally gets home in the middle of the night the first thing Olivia does is step into the shower. There she takes her time. For a moment she scolds herself for not being able to let him go. Still, she can't bring herself to actually feel bad. If given the choice she would do it all over again, so what's the point in punishing herself?
The warm water hitting Olivia's body helps her relax her muscles, releasing the tension of such a long day. Here she enjoys the soreness, the ache in her legs, and the slight bruises, these are sources of joy and reminders of their time together. Kissing him, tasting herself and the scotch that lingered on his tongue.
Often this late at night her thoughts are overwhelming and filled with regret and fear of what the future holds for the both of them, but today, for once, she allows the feeling of happiness to envelop her. She sacrificed so much to get him here, in that office. Now Olivia lets herself feel deserving of his desire, of his love. She thinks about how his cock felt inside her, the scratches she left on his back, the softness of his hair, his smile, his tender heart, and how he's capable of so much love, tenderness, and forgiveness.
Tonight, even if for just this moment, Olivia allows herself to let her love for him overwhelm and consume her.
