Sabé awoke to a blinding light as she tried to flutter her eyes open, her head pounding. Her body felt dense, each movement as if she was wading through sludge. Her eyes finally adjusted, making out a white ceiling above where she lay. There was a heavy weight across her right arm, as she shifted uncomfortably in her current position. Her attempt to sit up, however, was stopped. Sabé blinked, focusing her eyes on the offender. There was Padmé, head lying on the bed from the chair where she sat, her arm stretched out over Sabé's arm and torso. Padmé must have felt her struggle as she started to stir from her sleep. She groggily lifted her head to face her friend. Sabé watched the fog clear from her eyes, as realization set in.
"Sabé!" She cried, throwing herself into her friend's arms. Sabé grunted uncomfortably as pain shot through her left arm. Padmé pulled back, a large smile replacing her previous confusion. The smile did not deter Sabé from noticing the dark circles under her friend's eyes, or how rumpled her clothes were. Her usual perfectly placed curls were wild and in disarray, like she had to have been here for days. "I was so worried!"
"I am fine." Her voice came out in a raspy whisper, one that took much effort. Her throat still felt constricted, as if she was still in the grip of the force. "I am more relieved to see you here. I thought the worst when you fell from the ship." She placed her hand into Padmé's and squeezed it tight, tears threatening her eyes. "I am so sorry, Padmé." Padmé gazed at her curiously. "I wasn't able to protect you. I failed you." She quieted once more. Looking down, unable to look her friend in the eye. "The army. Everything you had been working against."
Padmé squeezed her hand back firmly, forcing Sabé's eyes into hers, and spoke definitively. "What is done is done and you have not failed. We could have never foreseen this. Things have been set in motion for years. Do not blame yourself." A sudden weariness came over Padmé's face and Sabé grew concerned.
"How long have you been here?" She asked of her.
"Every day."
"And how many days?" Sabé asked, a worried furrow gracing her features.
Padmé looked sheepishly back at her before responding. "I just couldn't leave you or Anakin here alone. I wanted to be here when you woke up."
"Padmé. How many days?" She asked more firmly.
"Four days." She whispered. Before Sabé could admonish her, Padmé continued hurriedly. "You would've done the same." Sabé sighed, giving her friend a small smile. She knew she was right. If their roles were reversed it would be her lying next to Padmé, no matter how long it took. Another emotion briefly traveled across Padmé's face. Fear.
"Padmé. What is it? What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Padmé laughed as Sabé's eyes raked over her form looking for signs of injury.
"No, I am fine, but… I have something to tell you." She fell into a tense silence, Sabé eying her curiously. Padmé lowered her head; her hands began nervously fidgeting with her blue gown. "I will be heading back to Naboo when Anakin is fit to travel." Sabé noted the slight blush on her friends face. Her thoughts returned to their time on the Geonisis, the stolen kiss and when Padmé fell. Anakin had screamed in terror, practically begging to go after her.
"You love him." She breathed out. Padmé dumbly nodded, still looking at the floor. "Are you absolutely sure?"
"Of course I am sure!" Her eyes had flown upwards and leveled Sabé with a look that forced her to hold her breath.
Sabé chose her words carefully. "Padmé… He is a Jedi. He cannot give you what you want."
"What do you know of what I want?" Her biting tone startled Sabé as she ripped her hand from hers. She had never spoken to her like that before. She studied her friend's eyes and noted their defensive nature and the fire burning behind them.
"I only mean that he cannot give you the family you desire. You know his duty. I just wish to keep you from harm. From any form of harm, my dear friend." She tried to speak soothingly, taking her hand back in hers, squeezing it gently in reassurance.
Padmé spoke more softly this time, but her voice still strong in its intensity. "This is what I want, Sabé. We will wed on Naboo." Sabé was startled once again, her eyes widening, but she kept her mouth closed, knowing no good would come from her words. Padmé would not hear them. Padmé was nothing if not steadfast and determined. There was no changing her mind, she was bold and fierce. She followed what she believed and no one, not even Sabé, could sway her from it. It was one of her greatest admirations of Padmé and one of her greatest frustrations in times like these. She was saved from responding by a gentle knock on the door. Both women turned to it expectantly, all emotion removed from their faces, twin gestures of impassive features to replace them.
"Master Kenobi." Padmé greeted him, receiving a nod in return.
"Milady, Anakin has just come from his surgery. He seemed to think you would be intentioned to know." Padmé sent a furtive glance to Sabé, her face still a shield.
"I will return shortly."
"Of course, milady." Sabé responded, watching her as she swiftly left the room. Her gaze finally landed on Obi-Wan, who looked in fairer condition than herself. His torn robes had been replaced with a new set, a darker brown than she remembered. He practically glided to the chair next to her bed, any sign of injury gone. His face had a slight worry line in the middle of his brows, the only indication of emotion. Every thing else about him was set in place perfectly, as he always was.
Obi-Wan took in her disheveled appearance. She looked drawn and tired and per usual, guarded.
"You really are reckless, milady." This earned him a small smile. "I do recall telling you to stay behind."
"A simple thank you, usually suffices, Master Kenobi, not a scolding." This earned her a raised eyebrow, and a glint of humor in his striking blue eyes. A smirk made its way across his features.
"A thank you?"
"It is the third time, you know." Obi-Wan looked to her questioningly. "It feels like I am always coming to your rescue." She smiled.
"Third time?" His mock surprise hid his humored expression.
"Oh yes, senators at celebratory events, bounty hunters, and now. Although I suppose Yoda did most of the rescuing." She relayed to him.
"I suppose I am lucky to have a you around." He paused, releasing a heavy sigh. "I am glad you were there. Although I wish it did not have to have been so."
"Thank you, Master Kenobi." Her heart beat quickening at his words. "I am sorry for being unbelievably stubborn." She paused, looking at him straight in the eye, her smile growing. "But not that sorry."
"Obi-Wan." She looked at him curiously, his face softening. "Please, call me Obi-Wan."
"Thank you, Obi-Wan." He relished the way his name came from her mouth, a beautiful cascade of syllables. Obi-Wan did not know what had come over him in that moment, to give her such liberty over him. Having awoken in the hanger to her lifeless form had not sat well with him, familiar old emotions rising forth. He had gone to meditate for several days, willing himself to not come to her side until such emotions settled again. He swallowed thickly, returning to the present, her eyes gazing into his. Obi-Wan wasn't sure how to broach this subject; he knew Sabé most likely would not take kindly to it, her loyalty steadfast.
"So… you have spoken to Padmé then." Sabé looked back to him curiously, Obi-Wan hoping he would not have to elaborate, desperately looking anywhere but her face. His usual tactfulness leaving him. The silence was deafening, their quiet breathing the only sound, that and the pounding of his blood in his ears. He soon realized she would not be releasing him from its hold any time soon. In a soft low voice, he spoke. "The life of a Jedi may often be difficult. Duty must come before everything and everyone else. We live by the Jedi Code, by the will of the force:
There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force.
It is a hard balanced line to follow, one that not all are able to keep. Those that do not are privy to the dark side, lost forever. Attachments to those around us prevent us from following the will of the force. It leads to fear. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Great suffering." He paused, finally sparing a glance at Sabé's face, her expression impassive, but her eyes holding a deeper emotion. She knew. He waited, allowing the weight of his words to fall on her, the silence consuming them once more. It felt stifling. What had been a moment between friends was shattered by his words. He could sense the dread emanating from her. Her usually hard to read emotions relentlessly washing over him in the force: pain, sadness, and fear. All these emotions pouring out for someone other than herself. He looked her over once more, fatigue evident in every movement she made, no matter how small. Despite having been in an induced sleep for four days, her insomnia seemed to have followed her, dark purple under her eyes. Her disheveled brown hair fell into her eyes, waved strands fallen from her normally perfect braid. Her eyes met his abruptly, her fire evident in them.
"We all live by a sense of duty, Master Jedi. Do not ask me to betray my own."
He let out a deep sigh. She observed he also looked worn and weary, much as Padmé had sitting in this same chair before him. His hand continued to thoughtfully stroke his beard, ignoring the few pieces of hair that fell into his eyes. "I will be speaking with her before her departure." The air still hung heavy between them, both deep in their thoughts, regarding each one carefully before moving to speak. Her soft voice was the first to break through the thickness of the air, a gentle whisper.
"Is it really so terrible to love as you say? Is the freedom of such things not what we are fighting to protect?" He remained silent, eyes slowly adverting to the ground. "You cannot tell me the galaxy would be better off without it." She spoke so softly; he could barely hear it, his own thoughts louder than the words coming from her mouth. He had been tutored by the most outlandish of all Jedi, the one that constantly questioned the code, living to his own will of the force. How he wished Qui-Gon was here now, having this conversation instead of him. He might have better words to say. A better response. She wasn't wrong, but it could be hard to have others see the reason behind the code. He feared for Anakin. The anger he had felt in him on Geonosis deeply troubled him. While perhaps Sabé was right and this is what they fought for, it would not be so for the Jedi, especially Anakin. His emotions were too far out of control, too often volatile. To allow such a thing would clearly spell out trouble, an inopportune timing with his knighthood around the corner.
"It is not destined for the Jedi. Our path is different." He finally responded, the lowness of his voice matching her own, his own despair seeping through his words. He saw much of her in Sabé. They both held the same loyalty and a high regard for negotiations. They both seemed to try and vie for the same balance of self-preservation and peace. Sabé, however, was more willing to be aggressive; claiming the offensive for those she cared for. She would have been much harder to protect, as evidenced by their flight to Geonosis and even further then, with her abhorrence toward waiting on Tatooine, restless with insomnia and her gallant efforts on Naboo. She refused to sit idly by. He admired it in her, that fire and tenacity that shown through her very being and projected her presence in the force: brave and bold. Her talks of love reminded him so much of her own words to him, back on Mandalore, where he almost left it all. His chin fell into his hand, a thoughtful gesture as he then raised his head to look at her once more. She was looking away from him, out the window into the galaxy around them, the lights of Coruscant softly lighting her face.
"She will not listen to you. Your breath will be wasted." Her voice came out cracked and raspy, a painful reminder of their recent battle. This alone reminded him again of his own dangerous thoughts and concerns, his need for meditation. His anger had startled him, his worry of losing their rekindled friendship, even more so. In that moment all he could think of was her mouth never smiling again, never seeing the fire in her chocolate eyes, never having the chance to see how soft her curls might feel running through his hands, and he had stopped himself there, admonishing himself and seeking the closest thing to solitude and meditation, until all thoughts were gone. He could afford attachments no more than his own padawan, not again. He had already felt that devastating blow before and could not bear it again. A war was coming; one no one was prepared for. He would have to be willing to allow their friendship to be let go into the force. The friendship being all it could ever be. He knew her well enough to know she would not sit idly by. Discovering her newfound rebellious nature, she would find her way in the thick of it, and he could not afford to be distracted by it.
"It is likely I will be leaving for the Outer Rim soon." He relayed to her in a very business like manner.
She turned from the window and smiled at him, breaking the small moment of tension. "Do try to stay out of trouble." Humor lacing her soft voice, thick with her Naboo accent. He tried to memorize her face now. Even in her current state, she was radiant. Her eyes were aglow, shining forth from pale skin. His eyes grazed over the freckles between them that lay over the bridge of her nose, down to her perfect mouth, quirked up into a small smile reserved for him in this moment. Her hair falling from her braid, leaving wispy curls to splay around her face. He would allow himself this moment, to keep her face in memory, and never allow such thoughts or wandering of her face again.
"I fear my name is trouble." He smirked back at her, leaving his chin resting in his hand.
"That's what worries me. Don't make me come rescue you again." She teased, extending her hand to him.
"I could only be so blessed." He joked, reaching for her outstretched hand, smiling broadly. They stayed there for a few moments, hands clasped, gazes locked.
"Obi-Wan… Stay safe." Her face was suddenly solemn and serious.
He nodded in response. "May the Force be with you Sabé."
"And with you." With their farewells said, he left, not knowing for sure when he would see her again, playing her smile in his head over and over.
She watched him leave, the smile leaving her face as soon as he did. Sabé fell back to her bed ungracefully from her upright position, pain searing through her left arm. She had feared he would ask such things of her, and she felt terribly not confiding it in him. If she was honest with herself, she desperately wanted to. But her loyalty to Padmé came first. Her heart was pounding fiercely, oddly so. His presence seemed to be causing more and more symptoms as time between them wore on. She could not deny Padmé her attraction to a Jedi, as one had sat so before her, her own attraction to him in the forefront of her mind. Their outstanding loyalty and compassionate natures alone would be attractive enough to any woman. Add in charm and handsome features and it was a downright tragedy, a man that could never be claimed. So she felt towards Obi-Wan, her friend. Her friend. All that damned charming, handsome man could ever be. Despite the tense air and heavy conversation, it had taken much of her focus to keep her eyes from drifting to his hand that continued to caress his face or his lips as they disarmed her with his ridiculous smirk. But that last broad smile is what did her in, one she had not seen so brazenly flashed before her, which set his blue eyes glistening in mirth. It was the last image flashing through her mind before Padmé entered her room once more. She walked slowly back to her previous place beside Sabé, looking over at her thoughtfully. Sabé reached for her hand once more.
"Padmé, I will support whatever you choose. I just want you to be happy." She said to her softly, hoping to convey her regret for their slightly tense parting.
"Thank you Sabé. Anakin will be recovered soon; we will probably leave in a few days. My only regret is you might not be there by my side. We won't be able to wait. It may be our only chance, without anyone knowing of course." She finished quietly and Sabé could only nod her head in agreement, hiding her own regret. Hiding her regret that she would not be able to help Padmé get ready for such a glorious day. The regret she could not share the moment with others. The regret that the children Padmé talked of so often might never be. "I'm afraid I must be going. I have already been yelled at for keeping you awake for so long. The medical droids insist you need your rest. I will try to come back soon." She squeezed Sabé's hand gently and moved with ease from her chair.
Just as she reached the door, Sabé called to her, "Congratulations, dear friend. I wish you all the happiness in the world." Padmé turned around, a wide grin across her face, eyes welling with unsung emotion.
"Thank you, Sabé." With a small nod of her head, she turned once more and left Sabé to the silence.
Sabé took her solitude to finally look around the med room she was kept in. She had been so kept up in visitors and her thoughts she had hardly noticed. Not that there was much to notice about the room. All four walls were stark white, including the sheets and the gown she found herself in. All was white and bare; spare the one window to her left. She turned to it now, watching the lights flicker in and out, the endless streams of traffic gliding by. Sabé could feel her eyelids growing heavy, as she gazed to the outside world. She could feel the fatigue in her body growing again; marveling at how such an encounter had taken so much out of her. Count Dooku. Now that there was silence, his voice was the only thing she heard, ringing in her ears. Willing herself to find some peace, she laid back down, trying her best to be careful. She closed her eyes hoping sleep would take her.
Only it wouldn't.
Sabé felt like she was reliving that moment over and over again, even in her sleep, if one could call the restless closing of her eyes sleep. The Count's words played over and over like a broken record in her head.
'The truth hurts doesn't it? Knowing no one wants you, knowing you will meet your end soon enough, even if it is not by my own blade.' Padmé's face in agony tore through her mind. 'Oh, how delightful, then you know, do you?' Dooku's taunting snarl lashes for her in the never ending darkness. 'Your face says it all; it is a no wonder you so willingly threw yourself in my path. Brave but foolish' the air around her feels suffocating, getting harder and harder to breath, his voice carrying through the darkness. 'It is a pity, my dear, that you could not have been more useful' Terrifying screams fill the air.
And she was jolted awake. It was later in the evening, when Sabé had lost count of how many times she had jerked violently out of the trying grasp of sleep in the last three days, that she noticed the small green figure next to her.
"Master Yoda." She croaked stills struggling with her throat, willing her body to sit further upright.
"Plagues you, something does, young one." His voice sounded foggier than usual, and briefly, Sabé wondered if he were but a figment of her imagination. The fatigue was more than before, clouding her mind, numbing her words.
Master Yoda seemed to understand her troubles, giving her a knowing look. "With permission, young one, words you need not speak."
She nodded to him briefly, before closing her eyes once more, grateful for once, that someone else could see into her mind. She felt his presence almost immediately, a gentle soothing touch to her mind. It was not as invasive as she imagined it would be, but perhaps that was more due to Yoda, than the process itself. He was patient as she tried to unfurl the swirling fog around her mind to show him what was so devastatingly destroying her consciousness and her peace. After what felt like hours, she saw the images she had dreamt of moments ago, spring forth. The voice of Count Dooku and the terrifying screams raged around her. She could feel her breathing quicken, her heart race, as sweat began to produce along her forehead. New images presented themselves in Master Yoda's presence, countless faces, some Sabé recognized and others not, crying the screams that had terrorized her since Geonosis. She could not stand it much longer, seeing such agony contort their expressions. If she could collapse into herself, she would've, feeling as though she could fall to pieces at any moment. Like the breeze of a soft wind, she felt Master Yoda's presence flow around her, before she finally fell into the dark and deep sleep she so desperately needed, his voice the last conscious thing she heard.
"Sleep now, visit you tomorrow, I shall."
Instead of the broken record her restless sleep had become, Sabé dreamt of Naboo. The Naboo and its grand waterfalls, lush green grass, and droves of wild flowers.
