A/N – Thanks for the comments! They are always appreciated

Chapter 6

After several minutes, with Jason gently rocking her, Liz fell asleep, so he stood and then laid her on the couch before following Audrey into the hallway.

"That girl has been through so much. I won't walk away from her, but Jason, please protect her."

"I will with my life."

"I don't think she'd be happy with that. I worry so much. All I've ever wanted is for her to be happy. I think she was for a bit with both Ric and Lucky, but they tried to control her instead of letting her be free. Do you love her?"

"I—we haven't been talking a lot since we split, but I've always deeply cared for her and was probably in love with her at one point. Our timing sucked."

Audrey smirked. She isn't used to seeing him so flustered.

"We're more than friends. I missed her friendship. We just need to find our way again, but Elizabeth means a lot to me."

"Are you scared she'll break your heart?"

"I think we both feel that way."

"Then don't do it."

He almost smiled. "I'll do my best."

"I have a feeling you're covering for her about the baby. Be all in because their lives are on the line. They deserve to be loved and cherished." If Ric is the father, that baby will never be safe.

He nodded. "The last thing I want to do is hurt them."

"Good. That's a good start. Tell her to call me any time she wants."

"I will."

He went back inside and then leaned against the door as he stared at the woman who could break his heart into a million pieces. Could he go there again? The longer they are together, the more the feelings will come back. It's inevitable. The thought of her leaving and then sharing custody weighs heavily on him. Is that what he wants? Scratching his head, he sat on a chair and watched her sleep.

When she woke up, she went to the bathroom and stared at him for a long time.

"What?"

"I've turned you into a liar, Jason, which is something you hate. How long before you hate me for it?"

"I won't."

"You say that now… I feel so out of control almost like I'm being punished for my bad choices."

"How can I make it better?"

She threw up her hands. "You can't. This is all on me. I chose him because he gave me attention and I thought he put me first." She laughed. "I guess that was overrated. Then the pressure to try to save him from himself became too much. I tend to pick men like that."

"Do you think I'm like that?"

She eyed him for a while. "I think you want to believe that you don't want to be saved, that you're living the life you want but you're not happy, Jason. Maybe the question is why would you choose me? I mean I represent everything you think you can't have, so you pushed me away. I'm all over the place on a good day." She stood. "Sometimes, I feel like men look to me for something I can't give them. I have a hard enough time navigating my own life. I'm not a savior or redemption. It's a lot of pressure. I can't heal anyone, but I can be by their side, believe in them, and give them love and a place to call home. Those are things I want for me." She threw up her hands. "This is a ridiculous conversation because you don't go for what you want in relationships. You concede. You want to have something good when part of your job is to harm and attracts bad things to happen. How do you even balance that or make sense of it? You're as bad as I am—always the martyr."

"You made me feel good because making you feel safe is one of the only things that I'm good at."

"That's a crock of bull. You are smart. You could do anything you put your mind to. You bought into that brain-damaged crap, and the minute you found something that made you feel like you weren't, you latched onto it for dear life and wouldn't let it go. It made you feel good to protect them and feel like you could be loyal, and they'd be loyal to you, but they shit on that, and you still stayed because you thought they were all you had. You shut down and shoved your emotions aside. Trust me, I understand. I live there. Right now, I'm just another person you must save and that is the last thing I wanted to be—an obligation. I truly don't see this working. I think we're both going to get so hurt that it will ruin us forever. Not only will I lose the quote father of my child, but I'm going to lose my friend too, and it scares me to death because even when we were fighting or I tried to push you away, you were still there, and you still cared enough to try and help me. I lost my way, but my soul missed you so much."

He stood, trying to control his emotions. "You are not an obligation. Jesus, Elizabeth, I was falling in love with you. No matter how many times you chose everyone but me, I still wanted you. If I had a dime for every time, you said the name Lucky to me, I wouldn't have to work for twenty lifetimes, but I still wanted you and needed to be there for you. I tried to respect your relationship with him. And yes, I eventually gave up because I screwed up, and once again, I was out in the cold. I couldn't take it again. I had to protect my heart just like you tried to protect yours. I lied to myself, and you, because I never told you how I felt. I was too scared because you, Elizabeth Webber, have the power to destroy me, and I wanted to respect what you had with Lucky." He's beginning to think that the only reason he fought to be with Courtney is that he felt so guilty for not fighting for Liz and didn't want to lose another person.

She swallowed hard. "How can you even look at me without hating me? How can we raise a child together when there has been so much hurt?"

"Because even after everything we did to hurt each other—both of us running away, I can't let you go. It wasn't all bad. I can't let anyone else hurt you."

"So, you're the only one that gets to hurt me?"

He sighed. "Yes, dammit because in the end, I know if I am stupid and I do hurt you, that if everything else didn't completely break us, nothing else will."

His eyes squeezed shut as he tried to quell his emotions and he is relieved when he feels her arms wrap around his waist. Quickly returning her hug, he savored her energy.

"Don't give up on me, Elizabeth. I suck at relationships and sometimes communicating. And by the way, my soul missed you too—so much."

She sighed heavily. "I think we needed that talk, Jason. We need to heal because I don't want to be awkward with you around the baby."

"Do you think you could be happy with me?"

"Yes, eventually, but we need to deal with the past and let it go. I don't think either of us realizes how our actions truly affected each other. I did some damage to your self-esteem and trust, and when you walked away to protect me, it triggered my abandonment issues, and the lying hurt my trust in you too. All that affects how we interact with each other; like we're waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"How do we fix it?"

"We talk and be honest with each other and build our friendship back."

"I'm in." He has never liked being at odds with her.

She hugged him again. "Me too."

"Maybe I do put you on a pedestal. I don't know if I can help it, but I'll try not to. I never wanted you to fix me, but I did feel that if someone like you could love me that maybe there's still hope for me. My world is dark, and I considered you as a light that pulled me out of it. I don't know if I expected redemption, but due to my job, that darkness will always be there. It will always cast a shadow over you. I never wanted that. It's like I'm scared that my world will taint you and I fight against giving in to you, but then I can't walk away."

She slowly retreated. "I'm not a succubus."

He smirked. "Maybe a little bit…"

She playfully smacked his arm. "If we want a chance, you can't think that way, like you're waiting for me to run because of your job. You can't refuse to go all the way in because you're worried about me getting hurt. I need you to be all in, Jason. I know you're scared about protecting me, but I won't settle for less this time. We'll deal with the rest together."

"I'll try. It's hard for me to change because of how my brain works, but I'm willing to work on changing my perspective."

"Me too."

IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi

Sonny rang Jason for the fifth time before he finally picked up.

"Morgan."

"Where the hell are you and why aren't you answering your phone?"

Jason sighed. "I'm taking care of something personal. Did something happen?"

"Sam is missing."

Jason rolled her eyes. "What happened?"

"She's not answering her phone and we looked everywhere."

"Sonny, she's a grown woman. Maybe she just needed some time to herself."

"What if she is kidnapped?"

Jason blew out a frustrated breath. "I think you are overreacting."

"Find her, Jason, please."

"Did you call Stan?"

"Of course, I did."

"Jesus, Sonny. Why can't you handle your problems?" He hung up the phone as a shocked Sonny stared.

IiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIi

Sam walked out of the spa and ran smack into a wall.

"Why did you ditch your guard?"

"Jesus, Jason! You scared me."

"Answer me!"

Her eyes narrowed. "You need to dial it down a notch. I am a grown woman and can take care of myself."

"Then start acting like it. You know how dangerous it is here. I know you're going stir crazy, but I don't have time for this bullshit."

Seeing just how agitated he is, she backs down.

"Fine. I won't ditch my guard again."

"Thank you. Let's go."

He called Johnny and let him know what was going on before slipping into the car. "I read the file on you."

"And?"

"You're a con woman."

"And?"

"Really?"

Sam sighed. "I'm not conning anyone. Should a killer be judging me? You know I didn't want to be pregnant."

"Yes, but are you going to make Sonny pay to see his child?"

"He can pay child support, but I'm not going to gouge him. We can be civil."

He remained silent.

"I did what I did back then because I needed to take care of my brother."

"I don't think it was just that. You liked it. Not only was it exciting, but it made you feel empowered."

"What, are you a mind reader now?"

"No. You're not that difficult to read. Sonny is not an easy man to deal with. He has anger and mood issues, so if you're looking for a fairy tale, he's not it."

"He's complicated. I know that. Is this your nice way of saying he's using me?"

"No. I think he's genuinely interested, but Carly is his kryptonite."

Sam smirked. "I seriously don't get that one at all. She seems very high maintenance."

"She is sometimes."

"Are you going to be able to live with Elizabeth and that baby and not fall in love with them?"

When the realization hits that she knows, he wants to punch Sonny for telling her. "If it's meant to be, it will happen."

"I won't say anything. Do you believe in fate?"

"I tend to live in the present."

She gazed out the window. "Suppose he chooses me?"

"It's not my business."

Jason is an enigma and the more they talk, the more curious she gets. She rubbed her belly. "Will you take me to the doctor's tomorrow?"

"For what?"

"I want to get tested right away."

"Don't you need Jax and Sonny there?"

"I do, but I want to go in first and then call them. I don't need the stress and they can't help but fight."

"That's fine. I need to talk to my parents anyway." The paternity test is already changed accordingly. No one will ever find out the truth.

"About your bundle of joy?"

"Yeah."

"Interesting…"

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Emily observed as Elizabeth talked about Jason and what she feels is a sacrifice. From the looks of it, this has gotten more complicated than she realized. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Maybe I shouldn't have forced this because it's too painful."

"Honestly, if it fixes what we broke, maybe it's a good thing. I'm just tired, Emily. I've hurt me, I've hurt your brother, he hurt me and himself. I just want the hurt to stop."

"Do you want to move out?"

"Yes and no. I hate making him lie but at the same time, I need our friendship. I've missed him so much."

"I think he missed you too." She had never understood their relationship because Elizabeth hadn't confided in her until more recently. There are layers, some thicker than others, and they both have walls. "How about you just be willing to see how all of this will play out? If it backfires, then so be it, we'll all help you deal with it. However, there's a chance it might just bring you together. Do you want to give up on possibilities and not face your fears? It sounds like you both have run multiple times and paid the price for it. Do something different this time."

"That's easier said than done."

"Perhaps, but love is a risk. You know that."

"I do. Maybe I just don't believe in fairy tales anymore. Jason and I are never the winners in love. I just hope that we'll survive whatever happens."

"Can I make a suggestion?"

"Go ahead…"

"Stop analyzing the negatives over and over. It won't do you any good. You haven't even had time to enjoy this pregnancy. Let Jason take care of you and go with the flow. Let yourself breathe, Elizabeth. What happened in the past is done and now, all you can do is try to do the best you can for your child."

Liz took a deep breath and then slowly exhaled. "Okay."

Emily kissed her on the cheek. "No matter what happens, you'll always have me."

Liz laid her head on Emily's shoulder. "Thank you. I feel the same way."

"Good."

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Jason walked Sam to her appointment and then met his parents at their office.

"Jason, come in," Monica said as Alan eyed him curiously.

"There's something you need to know."

"Go ahead."

Jason sucked in a deep breath. "I'm going to be a father."

Alan and Monica's jaw dropped. After a long moment, realizing he wasn't going to give them more information unless he was prodded, Monica got it together. "Who?"

"Elizabeth."

You could hear a pin drop as his parents did the math in their heads.

"But I thought she was with Ric," Alan said.

"You were with Courtney," Monica added.

Jason pinched the bridge of his nose. "We were drunk and both of us were having problems. Courtney was using drugs and Ric did some bad things. We barely remember it."

"So, you did a test?"

"Yes. It's mine."

"Wow."

Alan cleared his throat. "Elizabeth has been through a lot. Is she happy now?"

"She's starting to be."

"And what about you, Jason? You loved Courtney."

"She betrayed me. I'm not going back to her."

Alan and Monica glanced at each other for a long moment.

"Well, I guess congratulations are in order," Monica said before standing. She doesn't like the hurt factor in all of this, but God knows, she has done worse.

"Thank you."

"Hug?"

He nodded and accepted her warm embrace. Alan shook his hand.

"You should bring Elizabeth over for dinner."

"Do you want to make her leave me?"

Alan smiled. "No, but she's used to us by now."

"True."

"Does Emily know?" Monica asked.

"Yes."

"And is Liz staying with you?" Alan asked.

"Yes."

"I'd ask you if you need anything, but…"

"We're fine."

Monica slightly smiled. "Do you know what you're having yet?"

"No. If we decide to find out, I'll let you know. I have to go."

"Of course, hopefully, we'll see you soon."

Jason nodded and headed back to the waiting room. Sam is sitting there reading a magazine.

"You're done?"

She nodded. "They should be here any minute."

He sat next to her and then perused the room. At least there aren't many people around.

Sonny strode toward them and a minute later Jax appeared.

Sam eyed them warily as they are led away.

"How long before you get the results?"

"A week."

When the men returned, Jax focused on Sam for a long moment and then left.

"It's done," Sonny said.

"I already made the follow-up appointment."

"Okay. I'll take you home."

Jason stood and then almost groaned when Monica hurried toward him.

"I checked our schedules, why don't you bring Liz over to dinner tomorrow night?"

"I'll go talk to her and let you know."

"Okay."

Once she was gone, Sonny glared at him. "You told them about the baby, didn't you?"

"Yes."

Sonny grabbed Sam's hand and led her away as Jason put his hands on his hips and breathed deeply. He is sure he hasn't heard the end of it.