It was a grim day in Israel, as Jesus stood dying on the cross in front of a cheering crowd of people.

Roman soldiers stood by and watched it happen, giggling to themselves as this so called "King of the Jews" got his well-deserved punishment for claiming that he was actually the Son of God.

One the opposite side, Jesus's mother Mary stood by and wept as she watched her son die in such a brutal and inhumane way.

All in all, this was a pretty crappy day.

Jesus could hardly move as his body had been badly beaten and bruised before he got nailed to this horrible cross. Just turning his neck took a monumental amount of effort.

As Jesus looked to his left, and then his right, he found two other poor victims nailed to similar crosses to his own and they looked equally as miserable.

Jesus just couldn't believe how this had happened and his mind raced with millions of thoughts at once, but one thought etched at his brain louder than any of the others.

"LORD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!?" exclaimed Jesus.

As Jesus exclaimed this, the sky opened up and God responded to his son's cry with something that shocked Jesus to his very core.

"Jesus, you have served your purpose very well. I will now send your brother to come and save you" said God

Even though Jesus was in horrible pain, he mustered up the courage to say, "I have a brother?"

God then said "correct" before a clear white beam of light beamed down and struck the earth.

Jesus and all the other people present watched in curiosity as the beam began to dissipate and began to reveal a humanoid shape standing there.

Both Jesus and the Roman soldiers stood there in awe as they stared at Jesus's brother.

The second son of God looked unlike anything that these people had ever seen. This new son of God had skin that was entirely green, two googly eyes with a pair of red pupils that rested within each of them, a yellow mouth, a yellow nose, and two yellow eyebrows.

This was the legendary warrior known as Gumby.

The Captain of the Roman Soldiers stepped forward and raised his spear before saying "stand down vile creature."

Gumby just began picking his nose before saying "uhhh, no" and then punching the Roman captain in the face so hard that his entire body exploded. Blood splattered everywhere and organs flew into the air.

The Roman soldiers just looked at the blood stain in sheer awe, before deciding to rush at Gumby all at once.

This turned out to be a huge mistake, as Gumby was a level 45 Mage, and so Gumby summoned the powers of fire and ice and he used these powers to simultaneously freeze and incinerate the army of Romans in just a fraction of a second.

"Well, that's all taken care of. Now let's get you out of there Jes-" but before Gumby could finish, he was drop kicked by Judas Escariot.

"I'M ALIVE AGAIN FOR SOME FUCKING REASON!" exclaimed Judas

Gumby got back up and dusted himself off before saying "not for long" like a total awesomepants.

Judas then pulled out an actual fucking machine gun and began unloading bullets onto the clay hero.

Gumby dodged every single one of the bullets with lightning fast reflexes before saying "chew on this" and Gumby then pulled out a gun made of chainsaws, lasers, and dying stars.

Gumby then pressed the trigger on this gun and fired a rainbow beam at Judas, which completely consumed the traitor's body until he was nothing but a flaming skeleton laying on the sandy ground.

"Now let's go Jes-"

"NOT SO FAST" said Pontius Pilate as he jumped out of the bushes.

"Why does everybody wanna fight me today" pondered Gumby.

Pilate did a bunch of cool ass poses and mystical hand gestures while Gumby just looked at his watch and was hoping this fic would end already.

"Now young Gumbwalker, you will die" said Pilate before he shot a stream of blue lightning at our green clay friend.

Gumby just sighed as he pulled out a tennis racket and whacked the lightning directly back at Pontius Pilate.

"Aye dios mio" said Pilate before the lightning struck him and he blew up in a spectacular ball of fire.

Gumby then sighed in relief, before he turned his head in all directions and looked around. He had to make sure there was no one else here to challenge him.

After Gumby was completely sure that the place was completely empty, he waltzed right up to Jesus and said "here Jesus, drink this, it's your healing juice."

Gumby then held up a cup of cherry Slurpee which Jesus happily drank from.

After the healing was done, Jesus then hopped off the cross and he fistbumped his brother. The power of their bromance was so great that it immediately brought world peace due to its magnificence.

"Let's go to Heaven brother" said Gumby.

"Sounds like a perfect plan" said Jesus

And the two of them then flew upwards to greet their father once again.