Kitty listlessly moved around the kitchen, cleaning up after breakfast so the Kelks could enjoy some time getting to know Thad. The night before, she'd done the hardest thing she'd ever had to do when they'd all sat together to explain the adoption process and ask the young boy if he'd like to live here on the farm always. Though she could tell he wished he could live with her in town, he was already interested in his new surroundings and excited about the prospect of staying with the Kelks. Matt's presence beside her was the greatest comfort and his knowledge of the process ahead helped put them all at ease.
But now, alone in the house, with nothing except her own thoughts for company, she allowed herself to really cry. Even knowing he was better off out here, she wished with all her heart that she could take custody of her godson.
Matt would be such a great father, she mused silently, her maternal thoughts naturally flowing in that direction. She could tell Thad loved him already. What a wonderful family they could have together!
More tears fell as she settled on the couch to mend the holes the youngster had already torn in his clothes. What could a saloon owner and a United States Marshal give that boy, even if they both quit their current jobs and settled down as a married couple? Matt always said that he'd leave Dodge when he retired and he had good reason too. And she wouldn't stay there either without him.
Most likely, on this trajectory, she would end up back in New Orleans. Would Matt go with her? She almost laughed at the thought, unable to see her rugged lawman living in a huge city. No, Thad was better off here, in a stable home with stable parents. She'd be forever grateful that they'd come along when they did and agreed to take him in sight unseen.
oooooo
Even as his sharp eyes scanned the neverending prairie for any sign of the outlaw, Matt's mind turned with unpleasant thoughts as he rode Buck back and forth and around the Kelk's farm. He could see, plain as day, that Kitty would like to adopt her best friend's son and he knew they'd be perfect together. He couldn't help but admire her even more for choosing this wonderful couple, who'd never had children of their own, to raise her beloved godson on a farm when she could have claimed him for herself.
It twisted his gut too to know that he was partly standing in the way of her adoption idea and he grieved his profession for making him afraid to put a ring on her hand. She'd be a lot better off now if they'd never met and he wondered what it would be like if she ever found another man to love. He would let her go, of course. Kitty deserved to have more than he could provide but he knew he'd be an insufferable third wheel until he was satisfied the other man could handle the job to his liking.
Then he started wondering if he should just go ahead and let her go. If he made the first move, it might just give her the push she needed to find someone who could give her everything she deserved. Not now, of course, he definitely wanted to be with her through this transition. But once Farrin was behind bars…
Then he remembered, with a sickened jolt, that if he ended their relationship, she'd probably leave Dodge all together and then he wouldn't be able to protect her or vet whoever might come along after him.
Doc and Chester would have his head if he broke up with her too, he continued thinking. He definitely didn't want to deal with that! Heck, the whole town might turn against him. Kitty was a beloved member of their little community.
oooooo
Farrin cautiously continued his search once the sun was above the treetops and, as he skirted the edge of property after property, he cursed not being able to just barge into homes and hold the families hostage while he searched for his son.
He didn't mind using a gun to get ahold of Thad, even if it was against Matt Dillon, but he wasn't about to start shooting the wrong people and possibly garnering the attention of the law before the boy was in his clutches!
As the day dragged on, his frustrations continued to mount. Cautious searching wasn't a part of his DNA. But, even as he gritted his teeth over that situation, his mind mulled over another thought and finally a tiny smile of amusement appeared.
Even after rejecting Ellie's pleas to take care of her and the baby, he'd managed to woo his former girlfriend into a few illicit letters after Thad was born. She was a pretty stupid girl, he thought, as he remembered the boy's description and thought about what he might look like now. She'd said he had her blond hair and blue eyes.
He probably wasn't very tall yet, being under ten years old, he continued thinking, and undoubtedly soft as a pillow from city life. That's probably why Kitty was letting him live with a farm family instead of taking him herself. He knew she loved the boy but she was a practical woman too.
He was still mulling things over when he caught sight of another small farmhouse just as the sun was about to drop beneath treetops. On high alert, he edged closer, as he'd done each time he came to a new property, then jerked to a stop when he saw a tall man ride around the side of the barn. Dismounting his big buckskin as a redheaded woman raced up to him, the two embraced tightly and kissed.
Well, now… he thought, quickly loping his horse back the way he'd come. It's been a long time but I'd know those two anywhere!
"No luck?" Kitty asked, breathless when the Marshal finally let her pull back.
"No, sweetheart," he sighed, happy for these private moments in the evening. Caressing her face with his thumb, he continued, "but I'll be back in the barn all night then out on the prairie again tomorrow."
"Shouldn't you go check on things in town?" her eyebrows furrowed. "I mean, poor Chester—"
"Aww, Chester is fine, honey…" he chuckled lightly. "and I deputized a few fellas to help him if he needs it." A grin broadened across his face. "It's only been two days, you know? I've left him in charge longer than that before."
"Yeah, I know." she smiled at his confidence, "I just had a thought that maybe you should go see if anyone has seen Farrin around town." She shrugged. "He likes the bars as much as any outlaw, you know."
"Thanks for the tip." he smiled faintly, biting his lip.
"What is it, Matt?" Her heartbeat quickened at the pained look in his eyes.
"Kitty…" he caressed her face to collect his nerve. "You know, if you ever find someone else—someone who can take better care of you than I can—"
"Matt!" She jerked back.
"No, no—" his arms quickly tightened around her. "I'm not breaking up with you, sweetheart." He gave her several rapid kisses to reassure her but she remained tense.
"What are you doing then?" Her voice wavered.
Lifting her chin with a finger, he could see the tears leaking out of her clear blue eyes. He brushed them away, his own voice shaky. "I-I was just thinking today…" He paused to kiss her again. "Honey, I saw how hard it was for you to let Thad live with the Kelks. I-I know you would adopt him yourself if—"
He swallowed, unable to finish the sentence. It took a minute before he could continue. "And I know Thad would love to live with you too. You'd be a terrific mother, honey." He bit his lip again. "Sweetheart, I know I'm partially to blame for stopping that from happening so, i-if you ever found another man who loved you as much as I do. And if that man survived my vetting process…"
"No, Matt…" she was shaking her head, clinging to him. "I-I could never love anyone the way I love you. I promise you that, cowboy. I—"
He closed his eyes, grateful to hear her response but also feeling like he was dooming her somehow. He didn't have the courage to press her anymore.
"I'm awfully thankful to hear you say that, sweetheart." His voice was rough with emotion when he finally collected himself enough to speak. Pulling a mostly clean bandana from his coat's deep pockets he carefully dried her eyes. "Come on, we don't want Thad and the Kelks knowing I made you cry."
He was relieved to hear her laugh.
