AN: Here we are, another chapter here.
I expect there to be one more chapter after this one and an epilogue.
I hope you enjoy! Please don't forget to let me know what you think!
111
Carol was supposed to tell Daryl at the very first indication she had that their baby girl might be ready to come into the world, and that would get the ball rolling toward getting everyone in their place. Even though Daryl knew that she'd tell him when she was in labor, he was overcome with anxiety as he felt the time drawing closer. He followed her as much as he possibly could, and he watched nearly her every move. He only left her alone, really, when she would go red in the face or grit her teeth at him and beg for a little time alone. The practice contractions had been coming for days, now, and with every one Daryl felt more and more like he might simply pass out.
Carol had tasked him with sitting with a thick book of names and, thumbing through the pages and reading lists until his eyes grew blurry, picking out a name that would suit their little girl. Daryl knew that the job was to keep him out from under her feet, but it was also necessary because, up to this point, the little one would come into the world without a name of her own.
The book, Carol had teased, was also because she didn't want Daryl to simply name their baby "Daughter," in the same fashion as Dog had received his name.
Daryl felt like the only time he rested was at night, when Carol slept under his arm and he could drift off touching her, and touching her belly, and knowing that his whole world was right there under his arm and all was well.
Though, sometimes, Carol was talented enough to work her way out from under his arm when she wanted to be free, in the middle of the night, to do the billion busy little tasks that, for whatever reason, she seemed practically driven to incessantly do these days.
Daryl had fallen asleep with her sleeping under his arm, but he woke, disoriented, with her shaking him.
"What?" He asked. "What's wrong?"
"Daryl—you need to get Siddiq," Carol said. "She's coming."
Daryl had been sleeping relatively deeply, and the announcement sounded almost like a foreign language. He sat up, scrubbing at his eyes.
"What?"
"She's coming! Daryl…she's coming!" Carol barked. "The baby is coming…oh…you need to get Siddiq."
"You're sure?" Daryl asked, starting to realize, then, what she was talking about. He looked for his clothes and, as he collected them, he got dressed. Carol was standing with one hand on the nightstand like she was using the table to hold herself up. The other hand was running circles around her belly. Daryl wasn't sure if she looked like she might be sick or like she might simply piss on the floor.
"I'm sure, Daryl! She's coming! Daryl—she's coming fast!"
"She can't do that," Daryl said, slamming his feet into his boots and lacing them as quickly as he could.
"Tell her that!" Carol yelled at him. She straightened up from her position, having chosen neither to vomit nor to piss, but it appeared that she hadn't entirely ruled out another possibility—murder. "Daryl—please hurry!"
Daryl stood up and grabbed her shoulders. He squeezed them.
"Look at me," he said. "Take some deep breaths. Calm down. Siddiq said you got like hours. Could be a whole day."
She frowned at Daryl and shook her head.
"Just go fast, OK? Fast, fast. And—oh—oh—OK. OK…just…you get back, OK? Leave him, if you have to, but you get back. OK? Oh—because I would…shit…shit, fuck, Daryl…shit…"
She was grabbing at him, and Daryl could tell that she was definitely in pain. He tensed, immediately. He'd known to expect that, but he hadn't really prepared for it. His knees suddenly felt wobbly as he helped her to sit on the edge of the bed. She clung to him, her fingers digging into his arms.
"Listen to me," Carol said, holding onto him. "You get back. I'd rather you be here than anyone else, if it comes down to it."
"You got hours," Daryl insisted.
Carol looked like she couldn't decide if she was going to cry or laugh. She settled on something of a sympathetic smile.
"Then—go," she said. "But—kiss me first."
Daryl did oblige her with a kiss, and he quickly brushed his hand against her belly with the somewhat surreal thought that, soon, their daughter would be free from the confines of her mother's belly.
He didn't waste a moment more. He started down the stairs and out the door to rouse the troops. One quick knock on Michonne's door—on the way to Siddiq's—would be enough to get her into her role of letting everyone know what was going on, and then Daryl could go straight to Siddiq's and tell him the whole thing was starting.
111
Daryl took the steps two at a time as he came back up them. He'd left everyone to follow him at their own pace, but he'd done what Carol asked and moved as quickly as he could to get back. He thought he could hear Carol from the moment he opened the door, and he was almost sure he could hear her panting as he bounded up the steps.
He was panting, too, by the top of them.
"You OK?" He asked, coming into the bedroom. "OK—you're naked. I guess—I didn't expect that."
Carol was in their bed. She'd stripped everything back. She'd kept only the bottom sheet and some pillows. The bed had been covered by something that would keep the mattress from being damaged, and it had made Daryl feel like they were sleeping on a large diaper as it crinkled under them at night.
Carol was breathing hard—loudly panting—and she didn't stop when she turned to look at Daryl.
"You made it back," she said after a moment, when she calmed a little.
"Of course, I made it back," Daryl said. "What's goin' on?"
Carol laughed nervously.
"I'm having a baby, Daryl," Carol said. "Or—did you forget?"
Daryl had barely had time to sit beside her on the bed before she seized up again—losing the relaxation she'd found—and tossed her head back with discomfort before starting the loud panting again.
"OK—you gotta breathe slow and steady, remember? Look at me. Remember how you was gonna look at me?" Daryl said. He turned her face, and she did focus her eyes on him. Siddiq had mentioned it might be good for her to have something to look at. He'd recommended something that made her think of the baby. He said that having something to focus on would help her stay grounded through everything. Carol had said she'd prefer to simply look at Daryl—and who was he to argue with that? Daryl took a few deep breaths and blew them out the way that Carol had practiced. She copied him. By the third, she was relaxing and her breathing wasn't as frantic.
"She's coming now, Daryl," Carol said.
"Soon," Daryl said. "She's comin' soon."
"Now," Carol said. "She's coming now. Oh—I have to push. You have to get her out. You have to help me get her out."
"You ain't supposed to push at all!" Daryl barked. "Siddiq said no pushin' until he says. You ain't already been pushin', have you?"
"Only—a little bit," Carol said.
"No! No little bit of pushin'!" Daryl barked at her and she growled at him before dissolving back into the panicked breaths from before. If he hadn't loved her as much as he did, and if he couldn't see that she was clearly in pain, he might have been afraid of the look of anger that accompanied her growl. Instead of fighting with her, he demonstrated the breaths again, and she copied him. He had no idea what he was looking for, but he knew that Siddiq said—and so had their book—that pushing too early could cause swollen something or others that could complicate the whole process. Daryl wanted to cry over the sheer thought of a complication. When he looked between Carol's legs, though, the complication to the whole thing that he thought he saw made him lightheaded. Carol growled at him again and grabbed his arm, squeezing it. "Carol, stop! Stop! No more lil' bits of pushin'! I can see somethin'."
"Is everything OK?"
Daryl heard Michonne's voice coming up the stairs. On second thought, he maybe shouldn't have told everyone that the labor was just starting. Everyone—even Siddiq—was under the impression this would take hours, and as far as Daryl knew, was probably on his way to get Enid and some supplies. It seemed that Carol and the baby were the only two that had other ideas about exactly how much time they all had to get through this process.
"Help! I see somethin'!" Daryl yelled.
Even over Carol's spat protests, Daryl heard the sound of Michonne running up the staircase. She fell, once, and he heard her hit the wall as she caught herself, but it didn't slow her down. She ran in at a full tilt instead of slowing when she entered the room.
She was also not at all shy about looking at what Daryl had only dared to peek at before.
"Carol, you're crowning," Michonne offered.
"You honestly think I don't know that!" Carol spat at her. Daryl held onto her and let her hold onto him since she seemed to be deriving some comfort from nearly removing his arm from its socket. There was absolutely no hiding it now, though; Carol very purposefully put her energy into pushing.
"She ain't supposed to be doing that!" Daryl told Michonne.
"I don't think she can help it. Carol—it's OK. OK? Push if you feel like it. Her head's almost out."
"She's coming," Carol said. "She's coming."
She repeated the line a few more times. Given the fact that she seemed stuck on it, and the fact that Daryl could feel tremors running through her as she held onto him, he assumed she might be in a slight bit of shock. And, though he felt at least a little in shock, himself, he reminded himself that her shock was probably a great deal more severe than his. So, he did the best he could at the moment. He showed her the breathing as she focused on his face, and he set his tone to be as soothing as he could absolutely force it to be.
"She's comin'. She's comin'. You're doin' all this…damn near on your own, but she's comin'."
"Head's out," Michonne said. "Head's out. Carol there's no cord. There's no cord around her little neck and I think that means you're good to go. Push when you want."
"She's OK? She's OK? Can you see her?" Carol panted out.
Daryl glanced and saw the baby, but he didn't dare to look too closely. Just the quick glance at what was unfolding made him feel lightheaded, and he knew that Carol needed him not to hit the floor right now. She needed him to let her hold his arm with one hand and his other hand with her other hand. She needed him to show her how to breathe and to encourage her.
And Michonne, wide-eyed but focused, definitely didn't need another Dixon to deal with at the moment.
"You're amazing," Daryl told Carol. "She's OK—and you're amazing."
"Mama? Can I come up?" Judith yelled up the stairs. Michonne spat a curse.
"Not right now, Judith. Stay with your brother. Stay with RJ."
"You said I could see the baby being born," Judith yelled. "Is she being born?"
"Stay downstairs, Judith," Michonne growled through clenched teeth.
It was silent downstairs, so Daryl assumed the message got through.
Carol was already pushing again, and Michonne started to encourage her.
"That's good—that's…I think you're doing excellent," Michonne said. "Where the hell is Siddiq?"
"He was takin' his time," Daryl said. "We got a whole lotta damn time, remember? Except I got a feelin' the baby ain't got no watch on."
"I can promise she doesn't," Michonne said. "Holy shit—because here she is…Daryl…someone…help…"
Carol was already curling forward, reaching between her legs, toward Michonne, for the slippery, messy baby that had just fallen free from her mother's body. Michonne looked relieved to know what to do with her and she passed her forward, resting her on Carol's body so that Carol could pull her toward her.
Carol seemed to have more instinct here than any of them. She began rubbing and patting the baby's back, holding her face down on her chest.
"Help me," Carol said. "Please—help me make her breathe. Daryl—please…please…she has to breathe! Help me!"
Her panic started to clearly rise, and soon they were all patting at the baby. Suddenly, she let out a sharp, piercing cry. And, a second later, so did Carol.
"She's OK…She's OK…" Carol sobbed out.
"She's OK," Daryl insisted. He caught Carol's face and stole a quick kiss, careful to leave her as much air as he could. "She's beautiful. She's OK and she's beautiful. And you're beautiful…but are you OK?"
Carol was smiling at him through tears. Her face was wet with tears and sweat, and her hair was wet and sticking to her where it had escaped her braid. She truly was beautiful, though.
"She's OK, and that means I'm perfect," Carol offered.
"Congratulations. She's beautiful, but…I know she's going to need things. And I don't know what I'm doing. I'm gonna go find damn Siddiq," Michonne growled, crawling off the bed.
"Go easy on him," Daryl said. "He thought he had half a damn day."
"Mama? Is that the baby?" Daryl heard from the staircase as Michonne rounded the corner. "You said I could see her being born."
"Happened so fast—hardly anyone saw her being born," Michonne responded. "Come on. Let's go get Siddiq, OK? Then you can see the baby."
"Is Aunt Carol OK?" Judith asked.
Carol smiled when she heard it. She looked up from where she was mopping at their baby with a piece of the sheet she'd pulled loose from covering the bed.
"Aunt Carol's fine," Michonne assured her.
"Aunt Carol's fuckin' incredible," Daryl said to Carol.
"Daryl—will you hand me some of those blankets?" Carol asked after a moment. "We have to get her cleaned up. And covered up. It's cold in here…and…you'll have to cut the cord. We have to figure out how to do it right, though. We have to do it safely. I don't know what's going to happen if we don't cut the cord soon."
In gathering things for Carol and listening to her give him directions, Daryl missed the sound of Siddiq's arrival. He came into the room without a knock—unless Daryl missed, that, too. Enid was right behind him and Michonne was behind them like she'd been nipping at their ankles to get them there.
"Nothing will happen because we'll cut it now," Siddiq said. "I'm so sorry, Carol. I had no idea that things would progress so quickly."
"It's OK," Carol assured him. She looked like she absolutely meant it, too. Of all of them, she was the least annoyed at the moment—a stark contrast from when she'd been growling at Daryl as their daughter had come into the world. "She's OK, and she's here."
"She is," Siddiq agreed, working while Enid quietly unpacked things from his bag. "And she looks beautiful. OK—Daryl. You ready? Snip right here."
With shaky hands, Daryl took the scissors he'd been offered and snipped where he was told. His heart drummed in his chest as he severed the connection between Carol and the baby. Then, Siddiq listened to the baby's heart and lungs and started to remove her from Carol's arms. It immediately became clear that Carol didn't like that idea and might be thinking of biting him—her expression reminiscent of the one she'd been wearing when Daryl was almost certain that she'd considered murdering him earlier.
Siddiq didn't look shaken up. He simply withdrew his hands for the moment.
"Why don't you let Enid and Daryl get her cleaned up?" Siddiq said. "You and I need a few minutes together. When they get back, you can settle in and we'll see if she's willing to nurse."
Being asked, rather than feeling like the baby was being taken, seemed to calm Carol. She nuzzled her face against the top of the baby's still-messy head, and she allowed Siddiq to lift her, along with one of the blankets that Carol had been using to mop at her.
"Be careful," Carol said.
"Absolutely careful," Siddiq said. "Don't worry. Her daddy's going with her to make sure she's safe."
Daryl's heart beat fast and hard when Siddiq put the baby in his arms. He felt overwhelmed. He felt terrified. He felt inadequate. But he also felt that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, he would do what Siddiq had suggested—he would keep her safe. Right now, that was only from the daunting experience of her first bath, but he already knew that it would extend to anything that threatened her.
"Hurry back?" Carol asked Daryl. He gave her the best reassuring smile he could as he stood with the baby.
"Can't keep us away," he said. "You just—do what'cha gotta do. She's gonna need your attention when we get back."
Carol smiled at his words.
"I love you," she said. "Thank you for making it back in time to let me hold onto you."
Daryl laughed quietly.
"I love you," he said. "You can always hold onto me. You done good. The best."
He thought he saw tears puddle in the corner of Carol's eyes, just at the thought of seeing both of them go so far away as the bathroom. He knew it was hormones, but it still made his chest tighten, so he turned as quickly as he could and followed Enid to get the baby washed and resting from her exhausting ordeal of coming barreling into the world as quickly as she possibly could.
