Song Listened To :
Safe and Sound (ft. Last Heroes and Lizzy Land) by Tritonal
*Chapter 17*
Shoulders tucked tight into his neck, tail stiff and held in a rigid curl about his lower legs, Gideon peaked his eyes open as his incredible coding was delicately speckled to his new home-tree teleport pad. Such a beastly, overpowered pad that had Gideon fluttering his eyes in the toss of gridded delirium. He could practically hear his coding twinkle with the amped hit of electricity that was previously trapped underneath his skin like angry hornets. Although his golden eyes hit the low-lit, homey kitchen and common room for what felt to be the first time ever, was very swiftly embraced by an even bigger feeling of the hugest welcome home he could ever imagine. The lovely terracotta tiles, the haphazardly beautiful splashes of coherent colors of sage and warm whites that crowned the walls and high cabinets, the glossy-warm wooden arches so sturdily supporting the dome of this heavenly, airy kitchen and common room, Gideon allowed his eyes to scan the warmth of the white-bricked hearth as a very massive notion suddenly hit him between the eyes. In the event of Swillah mentioning that it would be Gideon who would be ultimately seeking and appointing four leaders for each of the four respective, fallen Sundog cities, he furrowed his brow in a tight swing of hot realization and was instantly reminded of the four special, incredibly trustworthy individuals he had built this magnificent home with.
In the silent gasp of a hit his soul took, he felt a wave of new information hit him, a tidy list of four names that dropped down on Gideon's flickering remembrance of a heads-up display, he squeezed his eyes shut in bittersweet delight as he read the first name on the tippy top of the list, highlighted in bold font. Aside from the other three, Gideon felt his heart begin to thud in excited terror, the rush of Lash's intense selflessness, his ability to adhere to Gideon's advice and guidance through such an incredibly difficult situation with all the grace in the world finally made Gideon understand that these four respective individuals weren't lost on the web, waiting to be chosen; they were right underneath his nose this entire time. With said snuggly embrace of new information coming to him, he was still reminded of who he needed to go speak with first, how badly he wanted to collect Lash into the hugest, brotherly hug he could afford and gift Lash everything he has ever deserved was the final thud to his heart now urgently yelling at him to get on with it already, to source Lash immediately. Gideon unraveled from the tree's teleport pad, grit his teeth, glitch-hopped a few bounces across the massive stretch, towards the incredible panoramic view of a window, and happened upon the tree's internal teleport pad. Still not quite used to where every important structure was currently, in the tree or even on this island, Gideon cued his rainbow coding to the pad, brought up a blip of a holographic display and used the island's grid to pinpoint just where everyone was currently, in the tree.
Gideon quickly noticed that Kepa and Mara were inside Gideon's and Kepa's lovely abode, further up the tree, though it took him a moment to find Lash much deeper into the belly of the tree in a lounge spot dedicated to a peaceful, outdoor place to escape. Gideon raised his eyebrows, hovered his finger over Lash's circle on the map and was prepared to teleport off to the teleport pad designated to said outdoor sitting area, though he sharply hesitated. Gideon quickly ran through just what had transpired between Lash and Wren, just the heated cliffhanger both men were left on, the blatant upgrade Wren received, Gideon squeezed his teary eyes shut and was well aware he'd forever be haunted by the look in Lash's glowing, harrowing, colorless gaze of true panic and despair. It was something that made him consider Throttle, in this little equation, the true meaning of color and the emotions or information paired with it, Gideon slumped his arm back to his side and urgently peered to the little flickering circle of electricity that represented Lash's waypoints deeper into their magnificent home tree. Well aware a new wave of existing was upon them, well aware Gideon was now about to appoint four individuals to become his true, coded family, he knew this event only meant him and Lash collectively crowning each other as their respective, platonic soulmates.
The sheer lengths Lash would go to defend and protect Gideon, as a true brother and friend would, said huge collision of hard facts was something Gideon was now narrowing his eyes in dread over. As his lovely, romantic, intricate splay of colorful coding surged his palms, he squeezed his teary eyes shut and now fully understood that this meant having to take a front row seat to Lash's perspective, the sheer amount of pain and loss he had suffered through his forty years of being a creature in this digital heaven and hellscape. Gideon heaved a hard, long shaky breath, dart his teary eyes about the soft, lovely terracotta tiles out before him and knew that appointing Lash first wasn't just a noble thing to do, but was divine law. Even though Gideon knew Lash was a taunting, fun-loving guy to banter with, behind that sly, mischievous smile and bold facial tattoos was a wise, weathered, enchanting old grey owl, an elder Gideon so deeply respected. Although he wanted to really marinate in just why Kepa, Mara and Novus would also check all the boxes of what it takes to be appointed, he fluttered his teary eyes shut and sagged his pointer finger into Lash's waypoint on the hologram, prompting for a small pop-up asking Gideon if he'd like to teleport to Whiplash Kieran Black; cued successfully, Gideon's surroundings suddenly hushed to the sound of their incredible home tree softly swaying in the cool nighttime air.
Gideon's feline eye sight adapted to the dimmer surroundings, a lovely, massive sitting area deep in the belly of their home tree, the tree's branches spanned in all directions from this point, for hundreds of feet. Twinkling house lights could be seen through the rich foliage of this candy-striped tree, the patios and balconies of his crew's new, massive abode was prepared for everyone to begin moving in within the next day or two. The lighthouse's beams could be seen kissing the edges of the canopy through the twinkling night sky, and as Gideon drew about their splay of layered seating areas, all crowned with tiers of platforms and hammocks for full-lounging, he could see Lash sitting at the furthest edge, overlooking the bend of said massive tree and out into the vast whole of their little floating island, with the lighthouse at the opposite end about two acres away. Lash sat hunched over his knees as he peered out to the lighthouse, the glow in his eyes was still a very prominent white, and though he was simply sitting, he unfortunately didn't look approachable. Seeing Lash's silhouette against the glowing night sky about them had him now fully understanding what he needed to do, for Lash, to hopefully be successful in coaxing Lash into his lucid space, to tear down walls of grief and rebuild together in the renewal of gifted rainbow coding, a proper brotherhood and kinship Gideon knew Lash would be very hesitant to lean into. After the world of loss and grief Lash had been through, Gideon sucked in a trembling breath and began to approach Lash with caution, though determination nonetheless.
Lash felt his ears prickle at the sound of footsteps making their way to his spot on the lounge area, in the belly of the tree. He squeezed his eyes shut, deepened his glower and urgently looked off fully frustrated over the fact that he could now tell that these were Gideon's footsteps due to the gentle scuffs the underside of his tail took to the ground he walked on. Lash immediately put up an energetic brick wall, he sharply glowered off into the distance and freely allowed tears to cascade down the gentle white glow on his sticky cheeks. Even with his defenses up, he could still hear Gideon gently powering towards him until he finally scuffed to a slow and cautiously brought himself to a sit a few feet away from Lash's edge of the lounge platform they both were now on. Gideon peered into the side of Lash's face and felt his heart do a giddy dance of renewed love for this incredibly trustworthy, rare individual in his protective care. Gideon could easily tell that Lash was ready for this sudden, intense upgrade, he was ready to bypass being Gideon's student due to both men being able to offer the other a very equal amount of knowledge, discernment and wisdom, though it was clear Lash was potentially fighting this realization. The way his grimace now became a furrowed look of harrowing, emotional dread, Gideon lulled his eyes closed and understood Lash needed a very intense amount of hand holding into this adventure.
"You honor me," Gideon's deep, gentle voice hushed, Lash squeezed his eyes shut in teary annoyance and quickly shook his head.
"How, now that Wren and I can't exist on the same grid without casting the other one into coded oblivion?" Lash sharply argued as he firmly delivered his glowing white eyes into Gideon's in a revisit of back-stiffening fervor, "That I somehow feel enlightened by the idea of bashing Callum's skull open in your name? That I become so protective of the ones that I love, that I end up driving everyone away in fear of so much as looking at you wrong?"
"Because I corrected your bad behavior and you honored me by swallowing your pride and fixing the problem," Gideon's lovely voice hummed over the slow, gentle bustling of the leaves high above their heads. Lash sucked in a shaky breath through his nose and urgently kept his white eyes dug deep into Gideon's, as if to beg Gideon to save him from all of this inner turmoil. Hearing the call, Gideon bobbed a nod and allowed a small peak of a smile to curl at the edges of his lips, "Lash, you're forty years my senior... You've done and experienced a significant amount more life than I have, even considering all the bullshit I've been through."
Lash softly panted through his nose and now lazily sagged his becoming-defeated peer of forlorn frustration into Gideon's left shoulder, a softening of his face muscles and the loosen of tears down his cheeks. Gideon grunted to adjust his sitting and now sat cross-legged, he got comfortable and looked down to his hands in his lap as he was kindly welcomed into Lash's listening, intentional silence.
"You showed me a great deal of respect and it not only earned us Wren as a fresh student," Gideon patiently explained, he furrowed his eyebrows in a ping of cute knowing and was happy to collect with Lash's scared, teary eye contact once more, "But it earned me my very first appointed User..."
Lash furrowed his brow in a squeeze of teary confusion and shook his head a little in guffawing, humble detest, though Gideon continued to peer into his hands, in his lap, for fear of collecting with the surely heartfelt look of grief Lash was donning.
"Alongside the other three incredibly precious and awesome beings you and I came here with, today," Gideon eased a wide smile, chuckled, tossed his eyes to Lash's once and for all and was delighted to catch Lash look down with a hint of a defeated little smirk of disbelief. Gideon tenderly side-eyed Lash and kept his tone low, patient and gentle, "You handled yourself really well, with Wren, and I'm really impressed. I had poorer expectations for how you'd react to all of this, and I was proven very wrong... I'm sorry."
"It's okay, Gid, I-I... Wouldn't put it past me to do something outrageous and immature in a heated moment," Lash's nasally voice croaked as he messily rubbed his face and looked off in grimacing confusion, "I just don't think I deserve that, Gideon, I mean... I've really just kind of come up behind you and vowed that I wouldn't show mercy to those that hurt you, and in that... It ends up ruffling feathers, causing you more harm than good."
Gideon frowned and was certain this whole explanation was certainly masking another emotion he was desperate for Lash to admit to himself, something he could see plain as day.
"Even though I feel undeserving, I'm so stupidly confused because..." Lash squinted, looked off, grimaced a teary chuckle and glowered his frustrated gaze into the sleek, intricate wood they were both sitting on, "I know for absolute fact that I deserve the upgrade more than Wren, I mean, surely you and I are closer."
"What emotion is that? What are you up against in this instance of Wren becoming my student and not you?" Gideon prod tenderly, Lash sighed through his mouth and finally, officially threw in the towel.
"I'm jealous," Lash hummed sorrowfully, though he curiously eyed Gideon in confusion, "But, you mentioned that this earned you your first appointed... Insinuating that'd be me. Isn't that the process Wren is going through?"
"No, Wren is in the process of achieving rainbow coding, it now has a bit of a sheen over it to insinuate that the change is in transition and the end goal is different per individualistic circumstances," Gideon patiently explained, "I'd teach him to find peace, I'd teach him to reach this nirvana. You and I, on the other hand, are not in a stationary teacher to student relationship, with me strictly as your teacher and you strictly as my student."
"So, what, I just..." Lash shrugged, he sucked in a shaky breath and now began to feel his heart race with the ever-sloping look of bittersweet smiling Gideon was dolling Lash's way.
"Make room for a platonic soulmate," Gideon warmly delivered in renewed knowing, "It dawned on me... Soulmates don't have to be romantic, I have Kepa and you have Mara, but... I mean, we all have each other in different aspects, as well, right?"
"Sure, I mean, hey... I've come a long way, I used to absolutely detest even the idea of code swapping, let alone all this mushy shit," Lash stabbed with a nasally little chuckle, to which Gideon's laughter had Lash rousing into heftier laughter as well. Lash furrowed his brow in teary, smiling confusion and shrugged once more, "So, like... Do we just exterior swap or something? Or, is it just a mindset thing? Honestly, I'm still not really fully believing you when you say you're wanting to appoint ME, of all people, y'kidding?"
"No, I wasn't kidding, and... I-It'd take an exterior swap, to my lucid space," Gideon's voice pressed on in slow caution as their laughter fell away and seriousness came back to both men. Gideon hovered in their silence for a second before nervously carrying on, "It means entering our subconscious together and seeing what each of us have to say now that our physical filters would be removed..."
"Wh-which means, like," Lash swallowed a nervous gulp and now began to dread this venture, though with all of these thoughts, he was viciously reminded that Gideon could discern every ounce of energy he was giving off; he could tell this by the way Gideon urgently deployed tender, loving energy back at him, just by the air of his nature and the warm, patient disposition of his face and body language.
"Lash, it'd mean me showing you the depths of my heart, and you showing me yours," Gideon nervously hummed, such nervousness that wasn't simply dainty and fumbling, though more hung in a low tone of caution and harrowing forewarnings. Lash froze and peered his glowing white eyes deep into Gideon's in readied terror, Gideon patiently carried on, "I want you to dig into the deepest, darkest, lowest pit of your heart that nearly no one has access to, I want you to proverbially lay eyes on it and really think about what it is that you're holding on to."
Lash now felt the muscles in his face do everything to produce the gentlest lip quiver, he furrowed his eyebrows in a hit of unmitigated grief and urgently looked off in a scrunch of concealing more tears to escape him. He exhaled a hard, stressed sigh through his nose and allowed his eyes to aimlessly scan the fluttery, loose foliage of the tree up and about him, as if looking up and about was the only thing his mind could do due to the massive recoil of emotion hitting him dead on. Gideon bobbed another nod, allowed his senses to feverishly collect with just the energy Lash was putting out, and with stars aligned, puzzle pieces glueing together, Gideon understood him and Lash had a secret vat of unhealed trauma they both had subconsciously swept under the rug and did everything they could to forget about it. Truly feeling as if him and Lash had finally happened upon probably their hardest conversation yet, Gideon huffed Lash the bittersweet, other half to Lash's grapple into the depths of his heart. Both men wanted the same thing from each other, both men were fervently on the same page, Gideon looked off and now felt bubbling, teary emotions coming up for him, as well.
"Lash, when I'm sad, I fantasize about traumatic Pre-Academy days when I was being bullied at lunch... I fantasize you flying through that door to beat all their asses," Gideon huffed in a grimace of a small, teary laugh, and with Gideon's true words now fitting snuggly into Lash's whole-hearted desires, Lash grimaced a choke of a cry as he firmly looked off and down into his lap, hunched away from Gideon. Gideon inhaled a shaky breath and braved urgently peering to the side of Lash's face, "I often wonder what growing up with you, as a big brother, would've been like..."
"Oh, I would've... Murdered everyone," Lash choked a shaky, teary, defeated chuckle, to which Gideon loudly joined, though as they softened back to sniffles, Lash shook his head and now began to feel himself teetering over the vat of pain calling his name, "I beat myself up every single day, Gideon... Every day. I wish, I so wish I could reverse time, I so wish I could be that shining, hero of a big brother you really needed."
"We don't need to wish, any longer," Gideon darkly mumbled through his tears, though as Gideon continued to paw his face free from said tears, Lash nervously peered his wavering, glowing white gaze deep into Gideon's in a sting of sharp surprise. Lash hovered in frozen terror of realizing just where this was all going, now that Gideon was recommending his lucid space, Lash sharply furrowed his brow in nervous detest and shook his head.
"G-Gideon, I... I wouldn't survive the event, I don't want to relive painful happenstances like this," Lash protested, Gideon lulled his wet eyes closed in patient wait and now rested his palms facing up, laid on his knees, as he sat cross-legged.
"You're an integral, irreplaceable part of my life, Lash," Gideon mumbled cutely, "I want us to gift each other a redo. It's going to be painful, but I think we need to maybe think about instances where we weren't there for one another, but now in hindsight, we wish we were. We can visit each other's mindsets in said lucid state, we can overwrite bad memories with good ones, with good outcomes."
"Gideon, j-just... Thinking about all the times I wanted to stick up for you or beat someone up on your behalf or get in someone's face when you were a child," Lash rushed in scoffing exasperation, he finally angled his body language towards Gideon and sorrowfully shook his head, "Gideon, we're going to ruin ourselves doing this..."
"Yeah, we surely are, but... I want to relieve you of guilt and you want to relieve me from despair and self harm," Gideon lovingly assured in apologetic warmth, "We need to move into tomorrow with clean slates and full trust that you and I can rely on one another, unflinchingly. Lash, I'm ready to appoint you, alongside Kepa, Mara and Novus, in this very instant, but I do not want to go into this new adventure with you, feeling like..."
Lash frowned and took note that Gideon's voice clipped with the cut of not being able to hold back crumpling, teary voice crackles any longer. Gideon kept his head forward, though concealed a grimace and allowed his teary, aimless gaze to peer down to his lazily slouched open-faced palms rested on his knees.
"Feeling like I'm missing the security of my big brother's arms around me," Gideon hummed shakily, "Sure, I have Oliver, but... You and I have done a far more substantial amount of life together, Oliver and I do not have this kind of a bond, not nearly as strong."
"Gideon, I'm telling you, either we run in circles and I never let you in, or we dive into the belly of this beast and I do not emotionally survive the event," Lash's voice whimpered in a spike of rising fear, to which Gideon shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut.
"That is exactly the point," Gideon urged gently, he gestured to his chest and scoffed a teary chuckle, "The enlightenment you reach after rising from the ashes is the reward for putting in hours to heal yourself and the relationships you're involved in."
"Gideon, I wouldn't even know where to begin," Lash protested, now showing signs of walling off, once more, though Gideon sucked in a shaky breath and lulled his eyes closed.
"You can begin with resting your hands in mine," Gideon's voice wavered, but his notion held true as he sat still, ready, defeated.
Lash hovered, held his breath and peered to Gideon in gentle stun. Gideon's coding wasn't cued, he just sat in preparation for simple handholding, though Lash knew this meant an eventual exterior swap. Although not wanting to entertain Gideon on the surface, he peered to the incredible beast of a man in front of him and could tearfully see the adorable little dewy-eyed adolescent he had help in raising, towards the tail end of Gideon's adolescent months. Not wanting to feel the depth of his feelings, not wanting to display his heart in full, he cautiously began to scoot closer to Gideon until both men were cross-legged, facing each other with their knees touching. Gideon remained still with his eyes closed, it was here did Lash only bravely look to Gideon's hands, positively concealing every last ounce of power the whole girth of the internet could hope to harbor, though the fact that Gideon was leaving his front door not only unlocked, but wide open, so Lash could come in and hopefully leave with a souvenir, had Lash feeling himself recoil due to the hit, the proof that Gideon was eager for brotherhood and camaraderie, eager to continue leveling up with Lash tight by his side, alongside the obvious three to also join the ranks. It wasn't until Lash bravely lifted his hands, cautiously eyed Gideon's, peered to his closed eyes and patiently lowered his trembling, gaping grey hands down into Gideon's.
With the gentlest clasp of rested, sat hand holding, Lash took note that Gideon was keeping his eyes closed. Once Lash's palms were warmly and securely snug into Gideon's, Gideon slowly took in a thick, long breath through his nose and began to center himself, something Lash felt the urge to mimic. Although hesitant, Lash fluttered his eyes closed, sat a little looser, a little straighter, and followed Gideon's lead in taking sweeping, deep belly breaths in slow, methodical calm Lash was eager for. Although Lash was scared for Gideon to cue his own rainbow coding and scoop Lash into a lucid state, a few minutes went by of gentle, rhythmic breathing that Lash realized Gideon was waiting on Lash's mark, he was waiting for Lash to be the one to take the plunge and make the choice, for it ultimately was his own choice to make. Feeling a strange mix of terrified, ready, unprepared, anxious as hell, he fluttered his teary, closed eyes and allowed his and Gideon's next exhale to ever so softly usher the two into a gentle collapse of shared exterior coding, a hazy exit from their spacial reality and a delve deep into each other's pain and suffering. Eager to rewrite the script, both men proverbially fell into each other with the raw, promised idea that their coded souls would return to their new home-tree in a gasp of dewy-eyed rebirth, though enduring the belly of the beast together was the unfortunate tax that was owed upfront. In it together, a silent promise that they'd cradle each other to healing, their fluttering eyes finally reopened inside of what Lash was certain was Gideon's lucid space, though swiftly realized it was his own, that there was no stopping this train.
Hushed by a gentle breeze, warmth kissed their cheeks as Gideon fluttered his eyes open and was reunited with Lash inside their shared, lucid plane. Gideon furrowed his eyebrows and allowed the stark hit of contrast to cause his pupils to painfully tighten. Lash and Gideon sat cross-legged, facing each other, Lash's palms gripped down into Gideon's with the backs of Gideon's hands resting to his own knees. Gideon held his breath and now watched as Lash scrunched his face, so to close his eyes even tighter than they already were, he nervously hunched, sunk his head into his neck and offered a very flippant show of now spiralling, mortified dread over the fact that Lash swiftly realized that they had been ushered into his own lucid space, and not Gideon's. Said lucid space was something Lash was extremely embarrassed about, a secret place only he went to pace himself into an oblivion and feel some semblance of control. It wasn't until Gideon watched Lash double down on keeping a rigid show of shut eyes and nervous body language did Gideon now nervously broaden his gaze to their surroundings.
An incredible hit of full dread hit Gideon's soul dead-on. Bathed in nothing but sunlight, Gideon huffed a shaky noise of almost guffawing shock as his eyes were met with an endless, painfully flat grassland in every single direction imaginable. This endless plane of tall grass was incredibly beautiful, though Gideon now gawked in horrified surprise as more and more information hit his retinas. Tiny, seemingly insignificant details about nature that were now beginning to stand out like sore thumbs, every single little precise, dainty detail of just how fervently Lash was about protecting whatever last shred of hope and warmth he had left to his name. Nothing but an endless sea of tall grass, so angrily bathed in the scariest, thunderous storm clouds ever imaginable. Although scary, Gideon and Lash sat in a perfect, precise crop circle about twenty feet in diameter. Though the tall grass only came to shin height, the perfect cut of grass both men sat in was a very blatant representation of Lash's tiny island of safety, also due to said circle being the only thing hovering in a beam of sunlight from above, what would essentially be an ironically peaceful promise of continued despair shortly to come, simply the eye of the storm.
Gideon huffed a small noise of unadulterated despair and gingerly removed his hands from Lash's, so to get to his feet. Lash squeezed his eyes shut harder, hunched in on his cross-legged position and grimaced a silent little huff of a cry into his open palms. As Gideon rushed to a stand with the readjust of his long, glorious tail, fur and hair ruffling in the wind, he felt his spine do a wiggle of fear as the menacing storm on the horizon rumbled with nature's threat, the hot wind promised a tumultuous kiss of fire and ice on paper-thin feelings and emotions. Gideon now nervously began to aimlessly pace about in this circle, now beginning to feel swallowed by nothing but the endless grey sky. Even with their singular beam of hot sunlight down onto them, Gideon quickly took note that Lash's perfect little circle was only mowed to such perfection due to the aggressive, painful amount of time Lash has spent here, pacing, terrified to press on. Gideon peered up into the sky, up into the frozen eye of the storm Lash's perfect circle was hovering in, and very rapidly understood that this massive storm was a representation of Lash's life, thusfar. This was Lash's half-in progress journey through this harrowing storm, and even though the eye of the storm was the small breath of promised peace, Gideon lulled his eyes closed in dread and now gathered that Lash had been hovering in this moment of peace for far too long, and no longer desired the better weather on the other side of the storm due to how harrowing the journey to this point already was.
The wind kicked up and whisked both boy's clothes and hair about. Gideon trailed his eyes back to Lash, who continued to sit cross-legged in the center of the circle, hunched into his hands. Gideon furrowed his brows and felt his heart pierced straight through; the sheer amount of grief Lash had been through, the battle for crowns, the fervor to protect his older brother, the loss of his own home and how swiftly that tore his whole family apart, enduring a genuine game over for the greater good of Berri's prospective kingdom, Gideon now held his forehead and began to feel dizzy with the compounded amount of grief he was swiftly being saddled with. He sucked in a huge, long breath through his nose, fluttered his eyes, centered himself inside of Lash's full, bared grief and ushered purpose and loyalty out into the air. He stiffened, flicked his tail in a small, upward swat and began to softly, though confidently, approach Lash's sat figure. As he got close enough to Lash, he could tell Lash was silently crying, and though Gideon wanted to sit and dote on him, he gingerly scuffed his bare feet up to Lash's left thigh, hovered his hand down in a lazy slump before Lash's shoulder and gingerly gestured his fingers in a loose waggle as Lash shakily sniffled and peered his glassy, white-glowing eyes to Gideon's palm in curious searching.
"C'mon, I'm right here with you," Gideon's tender, deep voice so calmly encouraged, though Lash remained frozen and only barely glanced his eyes up to Gideon's.
"Gideon, I-I..." Lash almost whispered in faltering terror, he looked about in full, panicked confusion and shook his head as the wind brushed his lovely, muted, messy grey hair about his scalp, thus revealing the splay of the cy-bug tattoos that ran all along his skull.
"You've weathered half of this storm alone," Gideon hummed in brotherly encouragement. He bobbed a nod and was grateful Lash glanced his eyes up into Gideon's in searching concern. Gideon kindly pressed on, "This last half, I'll be the one on your six."
Lash furrowed his brow in the hit of unwavering, unflinching love Gideon had for him, and it was here did Lash begin to feel himself now succumbing to Gideon's call, the platonic fall into love Lash was desperate to avoid, due to the amount of times he had allowed himself to be vulnerable to others, only to have it backfire in his face. Lash bobbed a nod, nervously sagged his hand into Gideon's and relished in the gentle grunts they took out into the breezy, agitated, warm summer air all about them as Gideon helped Lash to a stand. Both men took a second to look around, though Lash was becoming increasingly worried with just how eager Gideon looked to pick up and head out. Lash felt himself begin to want to panic, he could feel his heart begin to race, suddenly Gideon's words stopped making sense and all feeling of paralized panic began to course through the blood in his veins.
"Don't get me wrong, this whole scene here is incredibly beautiful, but..." Gideon scuffed his heels as Lash began to slow his gentle, pandering footsteps to a stop as they neared five feet from the cut of taller, wilder, endless grass, "We gotta see this through, surely the scenery on the other side is far prettier, right?"
"I-It's been so long, I've truly forgotten," Lash's hoarse, nasally voice staggered. He shrugged, shook his head, held his hands and arms to his chest in a sunken, nervous hunch. Gideon took note of his glowing, teary white eyes dart about the incredibly beautiful sea of swaying tall grass directly behind Gideon, it was now that Lash was upon the threshold did he begin to outwardly panic in shows of now obvious panting, "Gideon, I can't go through this pain again, I won't do it again, I can't keep going through this pain! I can't keep doing it!"
"Lash," Gideon cooed, Lash stiffened and resisted Gideon's cautious, slow outreach of his hand to Lash's figure.
"I stupidly egg Turbo on to end Roadblasters cause I'm a selfish asshole, everyone I know and love gets unplugged with Turbotime, alongside Libby, leaving me to care for my older brother and his broken heart and loaded code, for nearly twenty years!" Lash began to raise his voice, the intense glow of white about the vertical rectangle of his pupils was so intense, even with the hot hit of sunlight directly on his face, "I get eaten by a cyber-monster, roasted alive, tossed into Rancis's body with Turbo, the chaos that erupted out of that whole mess, living in The End?! My life has been torture!"
"You're right, you're absolutely right," Gideon nodded, he was grateful Lash allowed Gideon to get close enough to allow his outreached arm to now begin to hover in the idea of carressing Lash's upper arm in the midst of panicking, a hope for grounding, soothing methods to bring Lash down.
"And THEN I live for over a year in white-walled purgatory! I finally get released and I'm treated like a whole criminal, look, I know I deserved a lot of the shit comin' to me, but that doesn't mean I don't take on all that hurt!" Lash now hollered in a rasp, tears streamed his cheeks, he aggressively gestured to his chest in the thud of his stick-straight fingers into his heart, "I somehow earn Berri's trust, gain User powers, think it's wise to taunt Vye, who which I now am certain was just Flint, leave the Arcade, return, endure my first, one and only official game over!"
"Even I can't imagine that," Gideon so tenderly affirmed, he braved Lash's upper arm in loving, sweeping strokes with the backs of his knuckles and allowed Lash this close proximity to be judgement free, a safe place to continue yelling and screaming if he felt the need.
"And THEN! Mara ressurects me like the fucking GENIUS she is, and we endure a beautiful year of bliss inside THIS CIRCLE!" Lash now screamed, he dared to take a step or two away from Gideon, peered into his eyes in full desperation and urgently pointed down to the ground below him. He grimaced a sharp cry out into the air between both men and messily carried on in hoarse, terrified panicking, "And then YOU were born! You were born and I STUPIDLY sat on the side lines and WATCHED those palace prisses bully you into an oblivion!"
"Lash, you can't blame yourself for my immediate family's actions," Gideon hushed in a breath of sorrow as he gestured his hands by his sides, he curled his tail in a gentle flop about his feet to show Lash that he was sagged in peace.
"I knew if I got involved, I'd ruffle feathers and afford myself a target on my back," Lash growled, "I selfishly stayed out of it because I didn't want to leave my perfect circle, the circle I had been looking for this whole time, and even though I somehow caught you towards the last half of your adolescence and was able to feel as if I made somewhat of a difference, you went and RAN OFF!"
Thunder suddenly clapped the air, Gideon grimaced a little and now understood what the last half of this storm was truly rooted in. Gideon clenched his eyes shut in the hit of Lash's powerful voice and felt himself rocketed to the very first conversation Gideon and Lash had together, right after Gideon was rescued from Game Over. Lash promised Gideon choice words to come, Lash spared Gideon in the dark nights of Gideon's rehabilitation. Now that Gideon was standing before Lash, a near-perfect being, behind the jail bars of Lash's lucid state, Gideon snapped his jaw shut in a clench of rising terror and now understood this storm was for him. It was now Gideon who was scared to leave the sunny crop circle of false hope, it was now Lash who looked eager to dive out and really tear into this and officially cross the threshold. Gideon shook his head, then ironically bobbed a nod and peeled open his scared eyes in time to see Lash take a few steps now into Gideon's presence and prepare a small throw around to come.
"I failed you so horribly that you still somehow managed to capture my heart, promise brotherhood, then RUN OFF!" Lash's now deep, terrifying voice screamed, and with a wiggle of terror that climbed up Gideon's spine and caused the fur on his tail to begin to stand on end, Gideon flinched in stun the second Lash's now red, viper gaze hooked tight into Gideon's as Lash ushered in a hefty dig of his firm pointer finger into Gideon's left peck. Gideon sharply sucked in a grimace of pain, though sagged his shoulders and succumbed in full as Lash's loud, terrifying tirade carried on, "In Wren's words, I oughta beat the shit outta you!"
"You have my permission," Gideon hummed, his voice gently lilted in a tremble of soft, docile terror.
Gideon sharply flinched in terrified surprise the second the hugest explosion of thunder suddenly erupted over head, caused the scenery to turn white with the hit of lightning, the haunting merge of Lash's full, hoarse, battle cry of desperation with the thunder clipped the sky as he tossed his head back and ushered air out of his lungs in the loudest, guttural wail of unmitigated despair Gideon had ever heard. Gideon sagged in on himself, urgently peered forward, curled his poofed tail tight about his ankles and watched as Lash returned with a huge gasp for air, soaked face of snot and tears, he had successfully taken two steps away from Gideon to immediately prove that he wasn't in this to physically mess Gideon up. Gideon sharply panted, though Lash loudly heaved in air as he desperately looked around in a hit of dreaded realization. The eye of Lash's storm was now nowhere to be seen, and what was a hit of seemingly forced, faked sunshine was now replaced with the rumble of the hurricane promised and the kiss of little flecks of cold rain to their hot skin in lifts of dainty steam.
Lash messily panted through his mouth and slumped his shoulders, his entirely defeated gaze peered into Gideon's in full, sorrowful desperation, a whole entire show of unmitigated despair that had Gideon feeling so much heartache over. Lash's eyes returned to the aggressive glow of white, though his pupils remained in tight, creepy slits. Rain just barely drizzled down as the storm began to continue on, proof due to the swirling rush of promising heavier rain to come, a slippery slope into torrential downpour. Both men were cloaked in the gentle darkness of the storm promised, they both urgently peered into each other's eyes and understood this was now go-time. Gideon's thick clavicles rose and fell as he also messily panted, he gently whipped his tail out behind him as their clothes began to speckle with a bit more of a drizzle of rain, and as Lash finally looked off in a grimace of terrified dread, Gideon bobbed a small nod, fluttered his eyes in the hit of hot realization of what was upon them and gingerly gestured over his own shoulder.
"It's time," Gideon hummed in low, gentle regret.
Lash urgently peered into Gideon's eyes and allowed the hover. They stood for a few minutes, just relishing in this gentle, happy flitters of speckling rain. Their hair and clothes finally began to fill with the artistic, visual topography from dry to wet, they both knew they'd have to now endure the rest of this journey in the thick of this full discomfort. Lash urgently ushered one last, final attempt at getting Gideon to see things his way, one final push of resisting energy, yet another proverbial brick wall he was entirely ruined to find Gideon swiftly destroy with one look and one look only. Gideon gingerly tilted his head down a little, kept his eyes locked with Lash's, angled his body out and away from Lash, though held out his right hand, as if to insinuate Gideon was going to start walking and was simply awaiting Lash's hand so they could now continue on together.
Lash urgently peered to Gideon's wet, outstretched hand, his lip quivered in terror. Although Lash felt a lot better now that he had officially gotten into Gideon's face and yelled everything off of his chest, he now understood the scarier, more beastly emotion that was bubbling to a boil underneath all that anger. The infinite sea of grass, a plane of endless wandering, as if a cosmonaut lightyears from any form of warmth, simply hovering in cold, desolate despair. Lash choked a cry, shook his head, looked off and resisted Gideon's outreached hand. Gideon bobbed a nod, as if to acknowledge Lash's full hesitancy into this terrifying venture.
"I can't revisit these horrible memories with you and stay sane, Gideon, you're going to see a very different, scary side to me right now," Lash loudly whimpered, Gideon squeezed his eyes shut and now felt even more scared over the fact that their memories in this plane were shared, as if they now were each other's missing pieces to the puzzle, with Gideon able to inform Lash's recollection and vice versa, with nothing but the power of each other's witnessed and now fully shared perspectives. Lash choked a hiccup and allowed his crazed, panicked gaze to dart about the dark, wet, tall grass they were now shin-deep in, "I'm about to make a whole fool out of myself in ways I'm not sure you'll be able to forgive me for..."
"Try me," Gideon muttered as he held out his hand in a bit more of a reach of fervor, and as Gideon's final word caused Lash to seal his mouth for good, both men fervently peered into each others eyes in the hover of bated, scared wait before Lash finally took the harrowing plunge.
Cautious, scared, a disposition of distrust, Lash nervously slipped his hand into Gideon's and was upset at himself for allowing Gideon to lead the way, for allowing Gideon to now begin pressing forward in slow, easy footsteps through the tall grass, for allowing Gideon to secretly claim this land in his name and vow to see Lash through this intense, harrowing storm. Wind began to gently kick up, the rain trickled down in gentle blips of cold, Lash's whole figure walked tight into Gideon's side as if he was a lost child clinging to any semblance of familiarity in this endless sea of unfamiliar tall grass and rain, as opposed to the mowed-down beat of sunshine he had been kidding himself over. He could feel Gideon's bigger hand grip his in a squeeze, a squeeze to confirm a nasty storm ahead, but to also promise a healed lifetime of sorrow on the other side.
