O-01-73, D-09-104 & Malkuth
That day was going to be horrible. I knew it. Ek knew it. Lin knew it. Greg knew it. Even Kickass felt something was wrong. Gathered at the lounge table, a heavy silence weighed on us. Explosions and screams. I didn't want to hum. The atmosphere was so oppressive I couldn't gather the mood to distract myself.
"Am I the only one who thinks we've already been here?"
"We had lunch together yesterday too, Greg."
"Not that, Ek. I'm not talking about yesterday, but-"
"But about today." Lin guessed. "I think we're going to die again."
"What the hell is this? A collective premonition?"
"We all feel the same. I'm happy!"
Our level of Prudence was high enough to sense impending doom… but I could see further than that. Just like I knew there would be explosions and screams after a prolonged silence, I could see… flashes… of events. If they already happened or were about to happen, I didn't know.
I closed my eyes and dived into the silence.
"Don't do this!" "It's unpredictable, isn't it?" "I can't attack Magical Girl." "My arm!" "I don't believe in miracles." "That huge mouth is coming towards us! We need to get out of here!" "NOOO!" Slice, pain, death. "I'm here, miss Malkuth." "I'm sorry, senpai! The only thing I can do is stop your rampage!" Silent concert of unworldly sounds. "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe." "I knew I didn't have any right to participate in the experiment, that's why I was so impatient." "…Sound the Third Trumpet, Greg. Only a miracle can save us now." "Ekpmephtil blew their own brains out… for me…" "Me neither, but my heart longs for them." "I love Roquefort toasts."
I slammed my head against the table.
"Do you hate Roquefort toasts that much, Inspector?"
"Of course they do. Only pink demons like them."
"All of you, fuck off! I'm trying to listen to the screams!"
I needed to concentrate. There was something important I needed to find.
"No." "Everything's all jumbled up, messed up, flustered… hahaha…" "Two new abnos again? Booo!" "Let's paint the corridors with our blood. So much fun! I'm happy!" "Leave me, [Confidential ID]. You have tasks to do." "I can't see. Why can't I see?" Punch, punch. Slap. "Malkuth… Is that really you?" "Do I have a say in this?" "They are just clerks anyway." "Monster." "Should we… leave them be or…?" "I don't know. Ek?" "Captain, you're worrying us. Is anything wrong?"
"Just a little bit more. Please. Shut up. I'm so close to grasping it."
Cued by my peaking frustration, a charming voice sounded through the speakers.
"Everyone, this is an emergency. The Control Team's Sephirah is suffering a Core Meltdown. When a Sephirah experiences this state, they affect the entire facility in unexpected ways. However, our task remains the same. Gather today's energy quota by Qliphoth Meltdown 6. The manager is counting on you."
That wicked AI did it again. Angela had a talent to ruin my thoughts. Why? What was she trying to prevent me from uncovering? I needed to dive deeper. I needed to… … The pain in my head helped me notice that I was burying my nails on it. My jaw ached after clenching it so hard.
"Captain, you are not okay, but the boss needs us. We have to go."
I opened my eyes. Time was up.
"Forgive me, everyone. I gave you a scare for no reason. I… Like Ek points out, I am not okay, but that never seems to get us any respite from our labor, so I'll quit complaining. Our task is simple: collect energy and follow the manager's orders."
"What about the new abnos at Central? Should any of us go check them before the day starts?"
"No need, Lin. Ignore them. If a Qliphoth Meltdown picks them, I'll take care of it. I'm a fast runner, so I will reach them in time."
"What about Control Team A? Should we send them back to train?"
"Before any of that, there's a new 'abnormality' I have to inspect."
Malkuth's chassis broke into several pieces, revealing an amorphous dark being made of wires surrounding a yellow eye at the middle. Its appendages held parts of its robotic carcass and its notepad. The department was empty of clerks. Everyone fled after seeing our Sephirah's current state. Everyone except Ek and me. We temporarily replaced some members of Information to be able to participate. Malkuth was spouting cryptic things that lacked coherence.
I sat next to her and sighed. After a brief moment, Ek joined us on the opposite side.
"Hey, boss."
"Boss."
The broken Sephirah didn't react to our salute and kept wriggling in angst.
"We're making it through this day, so please, watch over us. We'll make you proud."
"We're going to keep things under control, boss. The captain and me will do our utmost, like you always command us to."
Concluding our words wouldn't reach her in that state, we returned to Information's Main Room. I gave Yesod a curious look. Was he next, perhaps? His perpetually crossed arms squeezed tighter and his purple eye glared at me.
"What is the plan, [EXPUNGED DATA]?"
Everyone was gathered there, even the employees from control. They looked up to me way too much. We were going to follow the manager's orders anyway… but there were things the manager couldn't take care of on their own.
"Malkuth is a person very invested in keeping on top of things. She will get in our way because that's what Control Department does. We keep everyone in check and make sure everything flows effortlessly. I don't know what she's going to do, so our best bet is to test things on safe abnormalities until we find out."
"We're still working despite the emergency state?" Tiffany protested.
"We'll keep working even if our limbs fall off and our hearts stop beating. Maybe you don't give a shit about the Sephirahs, but some of us are capable of feeling gratitude."
My quick retort made them flinch and snap out of their Enkephalin dose.
"I want the Clerks to stablish refuges at the elevators. Spread out and keep contact with each other. If you notice any anomaly, evacuate to the next level immediately and notify a team captain as soon as possible."
"What about the Process of Understanding Ordeal? We'll be mincemeat if we stay there and one of those golems appear!"
"If the Green Noon menaces us, that will mean the Violet Noon won't happen, in which case your safest bet is to return to the Main Rooms of your departments. Any more questions?" Explosions. "Today is going to be a long day, so I want everyone to stay focused. We cannot let a single Qliphoth Meltdown slip by. Even if the abnormality it selects doesn't breach, failing to work with it will cause our energy accumulated to drop."
Lin noticed my raspy voice and continued the explanation in my stead. They always were quick on the uptake.
"Our teams will separate in two groups: one for each hallway. To test the waters, the target abnos we'll work with are Today's Shy Look and Child of the Galaxy. If you see a panicking employee, send notice to Information and we'll pass the word to Control. We need to stay communicated."
"We also need someone from Central to keep watch on Magical Girl. Each time we complete a Qliphoth Meltdown, she'll grow anxious and will need emotional support from an employee with great success rate in Attachment Work."
A young employee of golden armband raised their hand, pushing aside their long purple hair.
"I'll keep watch. What abnos should Central A take care of?"
"Unless you feel confident with managing WAWs, the rest of Central A will move up to guard Control's abnos. If you have any doubt, follow the manager's orders and check my notes before entering any containment unit."
"You heard the Inspector, team."
"Who even gave you the leader role, you sneak?"
"Zero strikes back!"
"I'm not- I'm just saying! The Inspector is waaay more leader than I am!"
"Yeah, yeah. You're not fooling anyone, Zero. You saw a free captain spot and jumped the gun!"
"I don't want to be-"
I loudly cleared my throat. Good rapport within a team was a good thing, but their struggles to reach the leadership was not today's main topic. At least, their little antic helped the rest relax a bit. To continue, I waited until I could hear explosions.
"If we do this right, there won't have to be any deaths today, so I expect everyone here to try their hardest. This includes the clerks as well. We're in this together."
A new silence filled the room. Determination was painted over their faces.
"Let's get to work."
The employees in my cameras returned to their posts and I witnessed another miracle. The clerks were grouping up inside the elevators!
Angela questioned me about why I always grouped up everyone at Information as soon as the Core Meltdown started. That was the reason. As a manager, there's only so many things I can do. However, by having a capable person like [DATA EXPUNGED] on the field, the days became easier. I pitied the other managers who didn't get a chance to experience this sort of thing.
"How curious. They distributed everyone just like I was going to."
That saved me a lot of time of organizing the employees. Granted, I already knew what the deal was with Malkuth's Meltdown.
Everything's all jumbled up, messed up, flustered… hahaha…
The words crossed the screen as if her conscience was seeping into the facilities systems. Taking into account all the odd things that happened at Lobotomy Corporation, that could be actually what was going on.
Each Qliphoth period –that is, the time between each Meltdown–, my power to give orders was tampered. If I told my employees to perform Insight Work, they may engage in Repression instead. Similarly, if Repression was requested instead, Instinct may take place. The changes were random, but they remained the same during each period.
[DATA EXPUNGED]'s assumption was correct. We would work on Child of the Galaxy and Today's Shy Look until we found out what order caused which type of work. After all, those two abnos had no preference and didn't punish any error too severely.
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
On my camera, a doll covered up with expressive skin entered a containment unit.
"Hi! Missed me?"
"You're back! I'm happy!"
"Yeah, me too. The manager's cursor today was yellow, so we're working some Insight today! Are you ready?"
"I'm happy!"
"Let's freaking go! Ah, don't tell anyone, but I got a joke book on my hands, just for you."
"Awesome! Jokes make me happy! You're the best!"
"Hahahaha! That, me, be! Now, I invoke the mop master, cleaner of all! I'll clean this chamber so good, it's going to sparkle!"
I assigned Kikas Instinct, but performed Insight instead.
"Really? Purple cursor, manager? Do you hate me or something? Ugh, fine, I'll bite this bullet… Just this once!"
"Ah, you're the nasty blue person."
"It's rude to refer to people by their hair color, Child of the Galaxy."
"You never told me your name…"
The employee scratched their messy blue hair and sighed.
"It's Gregory. What do you want to do today, kid? I'll play with you."
"Really? For really-really-real?"
"Don't make me regret this, brat. Just hurry it up and bring out the toys we gave you."
"Fantastic! You're my friend now! And all of my friends carry this pebble with them. Will you keep it safe? It's a token of our friendship."
"Ah, the Inspector was right. You are a Yandere boy, huh?"
"What does that mean?"
"It m-means you are a very friendly person. Give me. I'll take your rock or whatever. To the pocket it goes. So. Which is your favorite toy? The train, maybe? Kids love trains."
Attachment was still Attachment.
"Geh! Blue? As the manager orders… I'll never get the hang of Repression Work."
"Beings, ends, begins, ends…"
"Shut your trap, Forsaken Murderer! Take this! Hazzah! This is for all always filling the hallway with your grunting noises! Do you know have hard we have it Information because of you and 1.76 MHz? You two are noisy as hell! Haaaah!"
"My head! It's made of metal! I know it!"
"Hop! Yeah, I know it too, but you don't need to smash me with it to find out, prisoner! You're going to breach anyway, so let's get it over with! Smash!"
Lin and Martin surrounded Forsaken Murderer with their heavy Regret hammers and beat him into a bloody pulp. They were so experienced with his head-butts the clerks from the elevators watched just to entertain themselves.
"So Repression is still Repression, too. I had the hope it connected to Instinct, but at least cycle one has been finally mapped. Now I know what type of order to send. I'll get the Central team to train a bit more…"
Angela kept mumbling things behind my back. Curiously, they sounded very similar to the words that appeared on my screen as part of Malkuth's cries. … How could she smile like that? Didn't she feel any pity for her underling? Monster.
[DATA EXPUNGED] was staring at the cameras, almost as if they were trying to tell me something.
X finally understood my silent message.
I had grown talented at predicting when the Qliphoth Meltdowns were going to happen. Of course, as my luck would have it, the new abnormalities were selected and the clock began ticking down.
I chose to enter the abnormality tool first. They were usually either unexpectedly deadly or disappointingly useless. D-09-104 resembled a clockwork machination, similar to an open container with 4 Nixie tubes attached. On one side, there was a wind-up key. To work with it, I'd need to twist it, activating the gears and cables it was connected to.
What other choice did I have? Time was running out and I had to visit yet another chamber. So I wound it up. A yellow number appeared on the leftmost Nixie tube.
"That's it, folks. Bye, weird machine."
I peeked through the next O-01-73's door window. Unlike the prior abnormality, the type of work mattered now, so I waited X's order. Red, instinct. Was that really a good choice? I could disobey and follow my gut, but if I did that, X wouldn't be able to get any useful information of this.
"Hello there, miss."
A Sword Sharpened with Tears thrusted my chest, but it didn't tear open my flesh. Instead, a crushing feeling of despair invaded me, forcing me down to my knee.
"You're a knight, huh? The instinctive thing to do would be having a duel, so let's do that, miss Knight of Despair. Come at me!"
I no longer wielded a standard issue baton. As much as Greg mocked me for it, I chose to bear Magical Girl's In the Name of Love and Hate EGO weapon. Instead of a cute magical staff –which I would have appreciated–, a grey somber rod ended with a red star with wings and a yellow outlined heart on it.
I pointed my staff towards the abnormality and pulled the trigger next to the star catalyst. Red, White, Black and Pale stars shot from its tip and crashed into my target.
From the smoke, the light of blue magic circles casted a barrage of slim dark steel swords, piercing my limbs and restraining me against the wall.
The pale skinned girl with blue hair and black ends approached me. Her head was topped by a tiara that had three, spade shaped endings. Half of her head was covered in black physical shadows with sharp horn segments protruding outwards. Under the closed eye of her pale face, a black tear dropped. Her arms were covered by a similar substance to the one covering half her head. Her dress started at her chest with a grey coloring and black spade on her breast. As it moved down, it turned to blue - and then to black at the end. There was a noticeable galaxy-like pattern in her hair and dress. A white translucent cloak came off of her back, waving with the intensity of her following intentions.
Vulnerable and exposed, I hanged from the wall. I sighed and remembered the silent noises from the orchestra conductor.
"I've had it worse."
Each magic sword that pierced me, however, caused me such mental pain that I wanted to scream. I thought it couldn't be any worse than the Silent Orchestra, but I was wrong. Going deaf was one thing, but learning true despair was another.
My breathing quickened. My eyes wept. Black tears stained my cheeks.
Why was I trying so hard? Why did I try to fight misery at this purgatory? I couldn't move mountains. I couldn't choose the color of the sky. I couldn't save a single soul. Even if I postpone someone's death, it may invariably lead them to a fate much worse!
The swords released me from the wall and I crumbled.
One, two, three swords to my chest.
"There can be no hope in this hell. No hope at all. Wouldn't it be better to kill my loved ones myself? Couldn't that be considered an act of… mercy? The last bastion against despair… is to welcome despair and let it guide your reason. The colors are inverted. The spades crush my heart. Impotent to fulfill my pledge, I cry."
As those words exited my mouth, I looked at the knight in front of me. Her emotions were pouring into me. I could feel what she felt like… and share her painful black tears.
Then… I questioned if my eyes were working right.
The knight knelt down and embraced the magical staff.
One by one, the swords left my chest and returned to their owner.
"You're also a magical girl, aren't you? You must be… one of the senpais she mentioned."
There was no answer from the abnormality girl. Instead, the knight returned me my weapon and left my side, wandering through the tiny chamber. Noticing the red sad face on the unit's window, I took my chance to leave. I couldn't resist looking over my shoulder once more before the door closed.
I cleaned my dark tears and softly bonked my staff against my head.
"Don't let this get to you now. When the day ends, you may digest what happened back there. The boss needs me. Come on, [DATA EXPUNGED]. You can do this."
Huh? More orders? The manager abused me. His cursor guided me through the huge Main Room of Central Department and I reached the other hallway. The rookie who volunteered waited for me there.
"Inspector! Magical Girl is down in the dumps!"
"Move."
"What are you going to work? The manager's cursor is blue…"
"I don't give a shit."
Each time I saw Magical Girl kneeling down and holding her head, my sanity took a hit. If not for the mental corruption neutralizing gas, I may have gone crazy. Without losing a moment, I embraced her and patted her head.
"Why is it so peaceful…? The voices won't leave me alone. I cannot go on like this. I am a magical girl. I hate this."
"I hate it too. I just visited your senpai. Her swords made me cry black tears."
"Senpai's here as well? Has she given her blessing to anyone?"
"Not that I know of. Due to some complicated reasons, I wasn't able to attempt the correct type of work with her. I didn't stand a chance, even though you lent me your power."
"Will she breach soon? I want to see my sisters… …" She sobbed onto my shoulder. "I miss them so much, [DATA EXPUNGED]…"
Were we even allowed to program visits between abnormalities? If the cruelty of Lobotomy Corporation told me anything, the answer was a big negative.
"I don't even know how Knight of Despair breaches."
Magical Girl pushed me, leaving me dejected. Her shining yellow eyes glared at me dangerously. Hatred manifested through her whole body.
"That's not her name! She's the Magical Girl of Justice! You don't even care about us, so stop pretending! I hate you! I HATE you!"
I shed all my tears back at O-01-73, but that pushed my heart to the brink of giving out. My mind wasn't doing exactly okay, either. While light blue spears impaled the Queen of Hate, I reached a hand to my chest.
Let me out.
The original magical staff impaled the queen.
Your mind is the only thing stopping you now. Release me.
"Attention, everyone. Queen of Hatred is losing control. Prepare to suppress her."
Tiphereth A's warning snapped me back to reality. Before me, the Magical Girl of Love was no more. The only thing that remained was the pink ribbon on the giant light-blue snake-like creature with black, empty eye sockets. Its jaw and belly were pink. A pair of big light-blue wings with purple and pink feathers grew from the reptile's body. Arms came out of the side of its head, ending in purple hands that resembled Magical Girl's hair. Its spine was decorated by heart-shaped hollow scales.
The snake stared at me will ill intent. My voice trembled out.
"Magical Girl?"
A white magic circle surrounded the beast and it teleported away.
"Oh, no. Do I have to suppress her now? I can't attack Magical Girl."
Despite my heart's complaints, if I didn't get up from the floor immediately, my teammates would die at her hand. Slowly but surely, my resolve took shape.
I slammed my fist against the desk next to my monitors.
"That goddamn sicko breached again! [DATA EXPUNGED] was so close to getting it right this time. 15 PE-Boxes! Just one away from raising her Counter! Damn it all!"
"Don't waste your time and coordinate the suppression, X."
"I know!"
Great love for us.
I let out an unrestrained scream. I promised to myself we would succeed that time for sure, so I fueled my rage into my wits and forced myself to power through everything.
"Hi… there? Are you not happy?"
I grabbed Kickass by their suit and ran towards the giant snake that appeared out of nowhere. Its body posture told me it was channeling something, so closing the distance was imperative.
Phwoooooooooooom! A huge red laser shot across the hallway. It held so much power the elevator melted. Thankfully, it pointed its laser away from the rest of the facility, which could have wiped out some of our clerk's refuges.
I smashed my Penitence against the snake's head, but it didn't interrupt its attack. Instead, it only got bigger. Kickass and me coordinated our assault. I took care of the close-quarters combat while they covered my back with their Today's Expression gun.
After a while, the snake teleported to the other side of the hallway and pointed its mouth at us again.
"EVERYONE! MOVE AWAY!"
The blast tore a tunnel in the facility. After dodging the attack, we could see an array of corpses disintegrating along its trajectory.
"Hahahahahahahaha!"
On top of it all, that idiot of Kickass was having a kick from all of it! I instinctively punched their face, removing their EGO gift. … Although their creepy smile continued, tears ran down their wrinkled eyes.
"I'm happy!" They wailed while pointing their gun at the blue snake.
…Where was everybody?! We needed reinforcements to deal with a WAW threat! Why didn't anyone come to our aid?!
Red, White, Dark and Pale star-shaped pellets shot across the hallway, impacting against the Queen of Hatred. The barrage of projectiles continued relentlessly. My captain's darkened eyes revealed a new layer of despair I had never witnessed from them.
"What are you waiting for, Ek? Suppress the abno!"
After what felt like an eternity fighting that monster, its huge body finally broke down, revealing the Magical Girl hidden within. Her empty eye sockets cried sad tears as she slowly fell to the floor muddied with blood and sweat. The white magic circle preventing her painful fall ceased to function and disappeared. [DATA EXPUNGED] picked her up.
The Second Trumpet would be cancelled soon. Peace was restored.
Or so we thought.
The employee whose teammates called Zero finished climbing the elevator chasm and reached us. Their clothes were stained with purple circles. Blood covered their entire legs. Before I could greet them, they grabbed me from the suit.
"Where have you been?! A huge monolith appeared inside the Central Main Room, so I had to beat it on my own! But then The King of Greed started swallowing everything up, hallway by hallway! It started crawling through your department, and now I'm the only one left from Control Team A!"
Our desperate eyes found [DATA EXPUNGED]. They were entranced looking at the crying girl on their arms.
I inhaled… and exhaled.
"What? You already know the deal. We fight until the abnos are suppressed. We still have a long day ahead of us. Ek, gather everyone employee who can continue fighting and summon then at Information Main Room. Kickass, go get your leg treated."
"Thanks…" I didn't realize Kickass didn't mention her happiness that time.
"What about you, captain?"
"I'll return Magical Girl of Love to her containment unit, where she'll stay for the remainder of the day. I don't think she has much strength left to cause us trouble."
"Do you need any escort?"
"Nah. I'll be careful. You take care too. All of you. We've had too many casualties already. The number cannot keep increasing."
"Right!"
Parting ways with my coworkers, I jumped into the elevator chasm. I held my EGO weapon under my feet and shot star pellets around to reduce our falling speed. I apologized to the clerks I almost killed in the process and rushed towards the huge elevator that connected the ASIYAH level with the BRIAH zone. It felt quite lonely riding it on my own, so I started humming something.
"I'm sorry… I ruined everything." The abno girl sobbed. "I betrayed the people who were kind to me. I don't remember why I did this…"
"You did it because it was too peaceful. You couldn't contain your hate any longer."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
"I am sorry, too. I got your sister's name wrong. She's the magical girl of justice, right?"
"You should hate me. I deserve your hate. I am a worthless magic girl who cannot accept peace. I am a monster…"
The elevator opened. I slowly walked through the golden Main Room, moving past dead clerks and dark broken monoliths.
"What's so wrong about being a monster? I will break down one of these days and I will become a monster as well. I can already feel it, seeping from the back of my mind. I suppressed you today. Can I count on you to suppress me tomorrow?"
The girl continued to cry. The poor thing was too tired and emotionally exhausted to understand my cryptic words. I barely understood myself anymore.
"Suffer if that's what you want. If you forget, I'll remind you. I won't allow you to lose your identity, even if it hurts you. I am…"
The door to the hallway opened.
"…a witness for the day you mustn't forget."
As I pressed my hand against the door to close O-01-04's unit, another magic circle formed on the hallway's side that connected to the Main Room.
I honestly was starting to lose my patience with those magical girls. Who was it this time? Miss Knight of Despair? I was ready to receive her blades.
A mouth. A mouth so big that I couldn't see the hallway behind. The mouth crept closer thanks to some black limbs underneath. Hanging in front of the creature, a familiar white-haired head belonging to a dark skinned girl smiled and giggled around.
I had no escape.
The mouth was bloody and I could see the remains of previous employees stuck to its teeth. My back hit the end of the hallway that led nowhere. I sat down.
"So this is where I die."
I gazed at the abnormality creeping closer. I more or less understood why that magical girl used to be inside that amber. She trapped herself in there before she could consume everything. The King of Greed. At least… I will die because a monster obsessively wished to eat me. That's neat. I closed my eyes and hummed the melody of one of the few shows I got to see during my childhood.
"I'm sorry, senpai. The only thing I can do is stop your rampage."
Could I bear hope for this one?
"Heed me, thou that are more azure than justice and more crimson than love… In the name of those buried in destiny… I shall make this oath to the light. Mark the hateful beings who stand before us… Let your strength merge with mine, so that we may deliver the power of love to all…"
Could this Magical Girl uphold her ideals?
"ARCANA SLAVE!"
From the impressive arrangement of superposed magic circles, a piercing laser shot right into King of Greed's mouth, feeding it more energy than it could withstand and tearing a hole right through it.
Exhausted, my savior stopped to rest. She breathed heavily and sweat dropped from her chin. She murmured something to her senpai, but I didn't catch it.
Back when we fought the Dusk Ordeal, I took notice of how much of a toll it took from her whenever she abused her powers. It was almost as if… she paid the price for being a magical girl.
Slowly, O-01-04 turned to me, grinned and made a V with her fingers before collapsing.
I remained still. For a while.
Dragging one foot after the other, I made it all the way back to Control Department. Malkuth wiggled violently. Her cries demanded praise. She just wanted to feel proud.
I collapsed next to her.
"I'm here, miss Malkuth…"
I couldn't bring myself to utter any praise, even if she deserved it. I was utterly spent. I couldn't keep going anymore. At least, her screams shielded me from the explosions in my mind.
Be honest, back then it wasn't that hard to turn around and look back at me.
I see now how much fun it can be to look down on someone, manager…
Suddenly, her motions stopped. A violent pulse repressed her struggle, taking something from her before forcing her to retrieve her robot shape.
Ah… So I couldn't do it…
"Malkuth… is that really you?"
My eyes had to be deceiving me. Along with my usual noisy robot, I got a glimpse at a long-haired brunette.
I fainted.
