-1

I didn't know what the noises where all about. The Inspector just told me to stay inside T-09-86 and continue taking tickets until the day was over. I was scared at first, but after a while chatting with the demon behind the jail-like booth, I got used to it. Since they noticed a ritual was going on in the distance, the demon started sharing with me the many rituals they performed down in hell.

Sacrificing human babies to an altar by peeling off the skin slowly from the legs towards the head was a really common practice for enhancing their power.

"Yuck! Really? Babies? Better censor this shit…"

I picked the black marker and struck that information from the records. The original would be archived and sealed within the library of L Corp. Forbidden knowledge that would never receive the sunlight.

"Hey, Lin. Did that really happen yesterday?"

"Just like its written in our report. Word by word."

"Wow! What did turning into a magical girl feel like?"

"I already told you, Martin. At first, my mind waned. After realizing my body was moving on its own, I woke up and witnessed a battle that took place far away from here, in another world!"

"Haaaaah! I so wished I could have been there. I love magical girls!"

"My only regret was not picking Love. Pink suits me better than the edge-lord."

"I heard the folks from Safety kept mocking their captain all morning because of that!"

"Have they killed anyone yet?"

"Not at all! That crook just forced everyone to wear pinkish EGO suits to share the shame. Unfortunately for them, the team enjoyed it."

"Edge-lord just doesn't understand its charm!"

A new mountain of reports landed in front of our desks.

"We need these reports censored by the end of the day."

I heavily envied the newbies who still had to level up their virtues and got to enjoy some abnormality action. For some reason, the manager asked us to limit our deployment limit to three employees per department, so the day was going to be a chill as it could possibly get.

"Aah, that's too bad, sir Yesod. You see, Martin and I are going on strike. Even if you pressure Lolly into doing our tasks, we will win them back to our side."

The Sephirah crossed its arms.

"And what side may that be?"

"The side of the people who you still owe some juicy explanations!"

"That's right, that's right!"

Martin and I picked Lolly up and passed our arms over their shoulders, restraining them and dancing around the piles of documents and boxes, singing the anthem of our strike.

"I almost forgot about it. That was your rule for me, wasn't it?"

"Yup!"

Our Sephirah feigned a sigh and looked towards the ceiling.

"Fine, but don't let Angela find out."

The three of us jumped in front of him and took seat like unruly children.

"Before it became a Wing, Lobotomy Corporation used to be a laboratory at the Outskirts. That's where I initially worked at, back when I was still human."

"Gasp!"

"Shh! Let him continue."

"The accidents kept piling up… Enoch lost his life during one of the experiments… Carmen… she took her own life… Elijah… no. The girl who turned into Malkuth rushed the procedures and ignored the rules, causing her to die during a risky test. It… It wasn't pretty. I pretended not to hear her shouts of desperation, but it affected me more than I expected."

"Is the ship canon, Lin?"

"Shut up, he'll find out about our ships."

The Sephirah expressed his confusion. We were lucky he ignored the other meaning of 'ships'. The innocent Lolly requested him to continue. They were invested in the story.

"When she died… I tried rationalizing her death. We needed to keep going, so I needed to process what happened in one way or the other. For that, I took precautions and stablished powerful rules that would prevent further deaths. It worked, for a while. I became obsessed with my rules until… I started engaging in self-destructive behaviors. Covering my whole body to prevent contamination was not enough. I felt unclean. My mind rational mind got the best from me and made me hallucinate with wounds that didn't even exist. Eventually, I died from the many scratches I caused myself."

"I'm sorry about that, Yesod. It's hard to imagine someone so smart like you doing something so stupid…"

Damn, you tell them, kid! That Lolly surely didn't mince their words.

"You will be disappointed to know that I haven't grown out of my complexes yet. Even after the remains of my corpse infused my spirit into this mechanical body, I kept hallucinating with my rotting body. Disgusting pus seeping out of my seams, infection spreading through my core…"

The disgust was collective, but I felt more surprised to see the Sephirah expressing so much of his emotions. It made me realize… they actually used to be human.

"However… thanks to you suppressing my meltdown, a seed of hope has been planted inside me. I recognize in you the person I once was. Rationality may be what undid me, but it is also what allows us to keep discretion, a vital keyword in our line of work. Until the cycle is broken and we complete the project, I will hold fast to the hope you worked so hard to give me. In the meantime, please continue to work like you've always done."

"Sir…"

As soon as he realized how he overstepped his limits as a Sephirah, he turned around and continued to skim over the documents we needed to classify. I'm sure many things were left unspoken. I certainly wanted… much more. I truly did.

"Martin, can you pass me the coffee?"

As I buried myself and my emotions under a pile of paper, the sourness complemented my dissatisfaction.

"Finance."

I glared at Martin for picking a bad moment to play Chain Words. They looked at me with the same annoyance. Lolly wasn't present either.

"Cement." I continued.

"Mentality." Martin followed.

"Tiger." Yesod kept going.

My eyes got the better of me and forced the repressed emotions to flow out. Martin and I forced ourselves to continue the game despite our creaky voices. Lolly wasn't as discreet as us and broke down into tears the moment they returned from completing their work at Forsaken Murderer.

It meant so much to us that Yesod joined our games...

We failed miserable to keep our emotions in check, but at least the other departments didn't find out. For once, having the noisiest department was useful.

Nonetheless, an observant person like Ekpmephtil didn't miss the reddening of my temples. Smiling to themselves, they chose not to point it out after all. Some employees talked loudly next to our seats in the lounge.

"What happened to the Jester of Nihil in the end?"

"It vanished into oblivion that abno that made you bald and occupied its containment unit. It probably wanted to stay close to the magical girls."

"What?! Does that mean we'll have to perform the ritual day after day?!"

"Nope. Haven't you heard? As long as an employee wears its EGO armor and weapon, it won't attempt to breach!"

"ALEPH gear… I thought Control's second-in-command would take that scythe from the Silent Orchestra. Either them or Safety's captain. What high-level employee will have the honor? Don't tell me, is it Kickass?"

"You're not even considering the Inspector?"

"Nah. That person never wears anything. It's like it makes them sick or something. It wasn't them, right? Come on, tell me!"

Central Command was such a huge place… Too bright…

…What was that light I got to see? And what caused the shockwave that knocked me out at such an opportune moment? There was only one person I knew that had a long history of interrupting my lucidity. Then, the question that followed was… what was Angela so desperately trying to prevent?

Ah… the place was really too shiny for me. I felt fortunate to belong to Control.

The person who sunbathed by my side had an aura that hollowed out any color into black and whites. They wore a simple black jacket of short sleeves and some short pants that didn't cover their knees or their checked stockings. Pointy shoes. That monochromatic clown hat of long extensions rested on their pale bald head. I could only see half of their neutral face with that white mask on them. The mask's eye was like a tiny black hole, sucking the light around it. Four ace cards floated above them: hearts, clubs, diamonds and spades.

Nihil: armor, weapon and gift.

"Kickass went giggly crazy after she finished the Shy Look set. How are you doing?"

When their voice came out, I was sure their lips didn't move.

"It's like… I am the void itself. The null, the nothing and the nowhere, all in one."

"The EGO gift was bestowed on you for successfully offering yourself to the Jester of Nihil during the second act of the ritual. You knew the risks, but accepted the armor and the weapon anyway."

"I wanted to do something with this power… something I don't remember anymore…"

"You should have told me. I would have made sure to remind you as many times as you needed to… I would have become your witness."

"I don't care. Emotions don't faze me anymore. Nor good, nor bad. The magical girls fought the Joker because they couldn't allow such a concept as Nihil to exist… nor did they dare to accept the void into themselves."

I sighed.

"You do realize people will call you Zero because you now feel nothing, don't you?"

Zero formed a smile so slight experts would be required to determine if that was even a smile of just some weird mouth movement. I didn't need of those experts to know, though. Zero was still inside that human husk… just like there still was a person behind Kickass' mask.

I seated on Zero, grabbed the neck of their suit and stared at their unchanging expression.

"Do you want me to forcibly liberate your mind of that EGO?"

"Personally, I couldn't care any less. Practically, attempting to do so would accelerate our deaths by 1000%. Your choice."

"I see… I'm sorry, Zero. I don't have the power to help you. I'm so sorry…"

The empty employee didn't move an inch when I pressed my head against their chest.

When I raised again, I got to see my apprentice, the nervous blond student who followed me around like a chick pursuing its mother. Pain bolted through my head. The colors faded and the empty Zero returned.

I got up.

"The corporation will have problems if they lose their Central Command Captain. Will you continue to face the void inside you… or will you continue to work?"

The clown stood up as well.

"I am the void, yet I have a will to persist. Nihil must continue. To do so, I must satisfy the needs of this avatar. That's the reason I chose to rest next to you, [DATA EXPUNGED]."

"I see." I smiled weakly. "It's too bad the current you can't become the perfect substitute Tiphereth wanted. There's this clash for leadership between Control and Central Command, you see? You had so much potential… You becoming my rival could have been fun."

"It… would have… teach."

The old Zero was back and, a headache later, gone. Unlike the odd human spirits following Malkuth and Yesod around, whenever I glanced at Zero, I saw a broken ghost who couldn't maintain its shape most of the time.

Could it be…? Was I going crazy after all? Or were my visions… something more than mere fantasy and wishful thinking?

The explosions came back to pester my thoughts, so I hummed the magical girl theme and abandoned the clown behind, oblivious to the hand they extended after me.

Each step hurt like a punch to the gut. We were going to continue working together, but the feeling of loss fill the air.

I channeled my love, mounted my magic staff and flew away leaving a small trail of stars. Oh, yeah, did I forget to mention I learnt to fly with that thing? It didn't feel as important, considering… well… you know.

"If only it weren't for you…"

Lifeless, a monochromatic puppet wearing a clown gown rested on the chamber previously owned by 'Bald-is-Awesome!'. I daringly picked the clown up from the ground and lifted it in front of me. Emotions bubbled out of my mouth.

"If not for you, Zero wouldn't have to wear your stupid EGO. You're ruining them! This is all your fault! You are the incarnation of evil! I HATE YOU!"

Dropping it, I stumbled back.

"What did I just say…? Evil…? Since when did I care for good or evil…?"

My own words affected me much more than O-01-112. I covered my face with my hands and quietly allowed my sorrow to flow out from my clenched eyes.

"Aw, man. I just learnt how to fly with my staff. Is there really no hope for me?"

Since I was alone, no one could point out how despair dyed my tears black.

The Jester twitched.