Tiphereth
Zero is quite an interesting fellow. Everyone says they're empty, but I know better. Tiphereth A wanted me to become the replacement for the Inspector, so I started studying their only apprentice: the puppet of nihil. Even though they never expressed anything, you could tell they were alive. They even made irrational things from time to time.
For example, they once jumped without any reason whatsoever. Where they pondering about gravity, perhaps? Being able to warp through space certainly messes with your perception of reality, so they were probably trying to hold onto their old structure of thought before they became too stranded inside the void.
Some other day, they gave me a pile of books and asked me 'which'. Normal humans usually offered more context, but considering they were not really normal anymore I put some effort and understood the situation. Neal usually read romance novels, so In the name of Love could help them cheer up after the accident at Nothing There.
Speaking of, Neal never returned to the Welfare Department. Instead, I gave them shelter at my quarters. Chesed came many times looking for them, but whenever he saw the sorry state Neal was trapped in, they gave up and tried to think up the excuse they would give Yesod that time.
Neal was so traumatized they weren't even willing to speak to me. At the time, I was trying to think of ways to become a fine replacement for the former Inspection Team, but I couldn't think of anything. I had almost zero reference materials to hold onto. Then, my refugee asked something.
"Who do you think Zero talks to?"
A personification of the void wouldn't necessarily speak even if given a direct question. Then, they had to be talking to somebody… or maybe to themselves.
Not being able to understand made me realize one thing.
"I can't become a replacement." I informed my Sephirahs. Tiphereth A glared at me while B continued to be absent-minded.
I can't become someone I am not. Whenever I visited Qwerty at their department, I always stole a peek at Nothing There. That thing wanted to be me. It needed to be me. Yet it would never succeed. The identity is the sum of everything that makes us. Birthplace, relationships, language, tastes, interests… The list goes on. Just like Neal has their books and Qwerty has their music scribbles.
No matter how much I try studying Zero or reading [DATA EXPUNGED]'s reports. I would never become them, because I am not them. I have never even remotely been anything close to them.
I have always been Izzy and I will have no choice but to be Izzy.
"Don't be stupid. I thought you agreed to this, too." Tiphereth grumbled, clenching her robotic fists.
"I did. I am an ambitious person, so I thought I could do anything if I set my mind to it. However, for that very reason, I will never be able to achieve this. Employees may be expendables, but that doesn't necessary imply that they are easily replaced."
"Look, I never asked you to become [Confidential ID]. I just want you to replace them! Do what they used to do! Just like how Tiphereth B is always replaced! You don't need to be [Confidential ID]. You just have to fill the hole they left behind."
"I can't do that, either. That person meant something special to the other captains. Even if I become something special to them, the absence of the Inspector can never be fixed. They're gone. For good. There's no need to replace them. Even if we engineered a perfect replica, their soul wouldn't be the same. That's-"
Tiphereth A pushed me.
"Then why does Angela keep bringing Tiphereth back to life?! Why does she have to push him so far? I… tried my best to be able to take care of the whole department on my own. I can do it. I can't divide myself in two, but I wanted to at least allow him to rest. That's why I desperately need the goofs from ASIYAH to do their work properly. We need to do this right. So why?! Why?! Is she so mean she wants me to suffer watching this fake smile of his?! Why is Angela so cruel?!"
The answer was simple, although the reason couldn't be any more cryptic.
Because Angela wants to make you suffer.
Why did an emotionless machine wish to cause another AI pain if Angela didn't extract any pleasure from it, considering the constitution that prevents her from the joys of sadism?
Let's reformulate the answer, then.
Because Angela needs you to suffer.
Why? Secrets, secrets, dark mysteries. I once wished to eat up the Wing and grow it on my back. I tossed that desire aside. Something greater than me stirred from the depths of that facility. There was no place for my ambitions in the grand scheme of things. That didn't mean I wouldn't try poking my nose in there, however.
Yup. I wasn't Zero, nor was I the Inspector. I am Izzy; and there is something only the noisy captain of Central Command Team B could do.
I approached the vulnerable Tiphereth and pointed a finger at her.
"You did something to deserve this."
That may or may not be true. What matter was that my words caused a shockwave that pushed me off the platform. As per usual, Zero warped at the correct place and at the correct moment to do the things only they could do. For an empty person, they sure played catch like a pro! They could work a little bit more their heavy landing. Ow.
"It's happening."
"It is."
Look at us. So much sincerity! I may as well try.
"What did the Inspector tell you the other day, by the way?"
"They're trying their best."
"Holy shit! We should do the same, then. Let's gather everyone at Information! We have a core meltdown to tackle!"
…so the Inspector was still alive, huh? I'm glad. That means I can completely give up on replacing them and focusing on being myself! This is Izzy!
Charles pushed Mark.
Gravity enveloped the mountaineer's body and pulled violently, like a jealous lover. The wind against his back felt cold even through his thermic coat. The seconds passed furiously.
The whole universe seemed to spiral. The stars. The moon. The ever approaching crash. Everything twirled around his head. Mark entertained the idea of feeling regret for their actions, but no matter what he did, death was imminent.
"Might as well enjoy this one way trip to hell. Thanks, Charl-"
"That's… brave. Enjoying even your death…"
Atop the mountain peak, the lonely mountaineer breathed heavily. For Charles, the world didn't spiral. It just remained still, frozen, petrified as if met by Medusa's gaze. His gloved hand continued to occupy the space that used to have their best friend.
The words repeated inside his mind over and over, never letting go. The things Mark did… the things he covered… would things have been any different had he chosen to tell those things at some other place?
One mountaineer was dead, the other continued to suffer. Who would you say is the lucky one?
"Fuck. Novels are the best. This scratches the itches of my soul…"
"Neal! Are you there?!"
"Qwerty…? What's wrong? I heard the alarm go off, but I was in the middle of finishing this book."
Their blonde ponytailed fell over their shoulder as they puffed for air. They were the only one besides Izzy and Chesed who knew where I hid. After catching their breath, they looked towards the dormitory's hall.
"Well, was that book any good?"
"Yup. I needed it. I'm better, for better or worse. Probably the latter."
"Well said. Today, you are the only member left from Welfare. Come! We need to attend the meeting at Information!"
"W-Wait, what do you mean I'm the only one? Where are those psychopaths?"
"Locked inside Plague Doctor's chamber, chanting something. I say we forget about them for the day. Izzy needs us right now, so we have to go!"
I allowed them to pull my arm and guide me through the corridors.
Who was the lucky one, you say? Both. Mark realized something wonderful moments before dying. Charles, however, learnt a great lesson about the consequences of allowing your emotions to get the better of you.
Fuck those cultists. Life is short. I'll continue to work and purchase as many books I freaking can. If they try anything funny again, I will fight back with crazed abandon! I have only this pathetic life of mine! Why fear and cower? By worrying about the things that make me feel bad, I won't get to taste the good bits about life. I will die. So I will try to make it a death I can be proud of, even if I die this very day!
Death flags, by the way. Shit. Please, be gentle with me, destiny. Also, you suck.
"I brought them, Izzy! We can start!"
Ah, this is the best! I, Izzy, am at the very center of this meeting! How cool is that?! Wouldn't it be shocking if I revealed now that Zero confirmed [DATA EXPUNGED]'s wellbeing? The shock! The confusion!
I felt sorry for my ASIYAH seniors, though. I couldn't disclose that truth to them. If Angela learnt about it, something bad would certainly happen. Well, truth be said, I jumped the gun a little fast with that conclusion anyway. Maybe Zero wasn't a reliable source for info, being an empty person with a warped sense of self and all. Whatever! That didn't matter. What mattered was what about to happen!
"Here we go again…" Lin began after a moment of suspense. Martin sighed behind them and rubbed their eyes. "Another day, another core meltdown."
"Fucking getting tired of this. I bet purgatory looks similar to Lobotomy Corporation." The scarred bluehead of Safety complained.
"With the twist that it's a perpetual cycle! I'm so happy that's not the case for us!" The reincarnated machine sang with their digital voice.
"Greg, Kickass, while I agree with your statements, we need to proceed with the evaluation of our current circumstances, devise a plan and follow its rules."
"Give them a break, Lin. Everyone needs to vent from time to time. We've been through this too many times already."
Information captain looked Control captain in the eye and murmured something.
"Anyway that, let's begin. Today's meltdown is Tiphereth's."
"Doesn't Central have two Tiphereth's? Which one of them is malfunctioning?" An employee asked.
"Malfunction, huh? Considering Tiphereth B's short lifespan and continuous resets, I doubt they could manage to accumulate enough repressed feelings to outburst like this."
"Lin-senior is correct!" I chimed in. "When Tiphereth A distorted into a round sphere with huge long arms, she started collecting the carcasses of the old Tiphereth Bs. Golden organ tubes grew from them and started that mournful tune that currently plays in the distance."
"I see… What do you think she will try to do, Izzy?"
"Nothing!"
"Are you sure, my pupil? Last time someone underestimated a meltdown they were massacred by the same 'nothing' they expected."
"I'm not underestimating Tiphereth, Kickass-senior. Quite the opposite! I believe her doing nothing is the most terrifying thing she could do."
Aah… this feeling of being listened to… I would never get tired of it! I am destined for greatness! Nothing to argue there! Ekpmephtil-senior asked me to explain. I coughed to clear my voice.
"The other meltdowns were finished by Qliphoth Counter number 6. Why do you think that is the case?"
"Because… they got tired?" Neal suggested.
"Exactly. They used their weird abilities to get in our way throughout the day. What do you think will happen if a Sephirah decided to do nothing?"
Qwerty gasped.
"Gasp indeed, my friend. We better get used to this melody soon. Tiphereth is going to mourn her brother until the very last Qliphoth Meltdown. We dance until midnight."
And by midnight, I didn't mean just some inoffensive measure of time between night and dawn. I meant the last type of Ordeal we could meet. Dawn, Noon, Dusk and Midnight. Dusks were already plentiful. Managing them on top of the demanding abnormalities was excessive. What kind of hell hides beyond the midnight? We would find out soon.
"Other than that, enduring a full day without the Tiphereths is already a nightmare. Do you even know how difficult it is to manage a department as big as ours? We needed two Sephirahs for a reason!"
"Should we request ASIYAH Sephirah's help?"
"Nah. We'll have to do as is. Tiphereth doesn't like ASIYAH folks. Today is her day, the moment she pours out everything she held in. Inviting her nemesis to her home would be of poor taste."
The rules were easy:
Don't die or Mountain of Smiling Bodies will breach: Safety's task would be to patrol and cleanse the building of corpses.
Beware Qliphoth's Meltdowns: despite developing immunity against them through the ASIYAH layer, it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye over there, so Control was going to patrol everywhere and lend a hand whenever they could.
Prepare against the ordeals: Information had to prepare a plan against them and give the summoning call.
Cheer Magical Girl up each cycle: nobody for the task better than our ever happy machine that kicks ass.
Beat any bewitched employee: Discipline was going to be our strict police. While Control checks the abnos, Discipline checks the employees. If anyone pops an eye where it shouldn't go, suppress Nothing There. Maybe purchase Little Red's help.
Each department representative was tasked to coordinate with their Sephirah and lead the efforts to fill the energy quota safely and increase the counter more and more.
"What should I do?"
Welfare was out of the game for the day, yet Neal didn't take their chance to hole up at my room and continue reading. I didn't dislike that development.
"Go back to your department. I will send your way a couple of untrained rookies who should be able to finish their works at F-01-87 and F-05-32 if the counter picks them. If anything goes wrong, call for help immediately. A breach that goes unnoticed may lead to tens of deaths, which in turn would cause more breaches. It may not be something flashy, but you need to keep an eye over there to prevent things from getting out of control."
"Understood."
It was odd to see them take orders so willingly. I thought all they could do was to groan, complain and bonk a book's corner onto my head. I grinned to the albino.
Thus, the game began! Thanks to my wonderful overview of the situation, the day went by slowly but carefully. We destroyed the amber lesser worms, the Sweepers and the green factories that spat killing golems. Once we reached the counter number 7, Information spread the word.
We would be facing the Amber Midnight Ordeal.
This was the seniors' first faceoff with a Midnight. The days usually finished around counter 5-7, so they never experienced one before. Even though things went relatively okay throughout the day, when we met again at Information, you could feel the tax of unpreparedness. Some employees were half covered in the blood of the ones who no longer were present. People from Training, Safety and Discipline were gone. Zero was also absent, but knowing them, they were probably fine.
Amber Dawn spawned a hive of hungry dog-sized worms in a hallway of each department. Amber Dusk spawned a group of huge worms, big as a rhino, that could give birth to those lesser worms from some egg-like protrusions on its body. Amber Midnight… maybe we will meet the mama that spawns those greater worms?
After the Inspector disappeared, however, we lost the ability to coordinate with the clerks. Qwerty offered to tell their old friends to seek refuge at the elevators, but that was all they could do. There was a clear rift between employees and clerks. Deaths would happen. Corpses would pile up.
Everyone entered the elevators of the facility. For some reason, the worms never tried to open those and, instead, went underground to find another hallway to patrol.
Nervously, we waited for Davi to enter One Sin's chamber.
Eternal Meal. They fought to eat each other.
Tremors shook the entire facility. I took a peek through the elevator's door. Nothing in the hallways. Weird. I rushed by myself to check the Main Rooms.
A giant worm emerged from the lowest level of Central Command. It was covered with an armor of rocks and earth, with rocky teeth and amber gem-like pieces on its body. You could see they were a hatchery, of sorts. The mouth had three sides to it. Through the cracks, I saw a darkness I didn't want to visit anytime soon. One of the clerks was split in half by its teeth, giving me a hint of the damages that happened whenever that thing emerged.
I heard rushed steps behind me. An employee raised their weapon and roared.
"Everyone! Let's go!"
"Wait, no! We need to study-"
My employees ignored my warning and threw themselves like savages onto the unmoving worm. Their attacks hit one of the hatches and a few minor worms spawned. Common sense told us to avoid hitting the growing amber gems, but time proved that decision to be an error. After some time hitting the creatures with our EGO weapons, the huge amber spheres hatched and birthed the greater worms from the Amber Dusk Ordeal. Those things hit hard, so we immediately left the premise and sought shelter at the elevators again. Not all of us made it back in one piece.
"This is madness! We're never beating those things! We're going to be eaten!"
"Our numbers are going to keep reducing with each assault! Theirs only increase!"
I bonked the panicking employees on the head.
"Don't say that. We're still okay, aren't we? Don't chicken out before anything really bad happens."
Alarm. The Mountain of Smiling Bodies has breached. Everyone, be careful.
"Hey, that's not something bad at all!"
"The fuck do you mean it's not bad?! An ALEPH breached! On top of everything else!"
"And it's going to help us eat those bugs. Really, Georgy, I think you worry too much. If you see a danger, you just have to move out of the way and let the beasts tussle it out. Information set many rules, but none of them prohibited using the abnos in our advantage. I checked."
"You're… just… too much, Izzy. Do you not feel fear? One of the worms nearly ate your head off!"
"Thanks to that, my hair is now as spiky as ever, hahaha! I do feel fear, but that's only there to remind me how much I care about doing things right. So let's do things right, team!"
After the Dusk worms moved away from the Main Room, Central Team initiated the next wave of attacks. However, the Mother burrowed down and disappeared. Moments later, another tremor announced the arrival of another colossal creature. The mouth opened and engulfed two other employees from my team.
Panicking from the idea of losing anyone else, I called the retreat, but then The Mountain blocked the exit. Its screech pierced our ears and damaged our SP.
"Well, well. It seems we're in a bit of a pickle."
"You call this a pickle?!"
"Haha. We'll be fine. The Mountain isn't looking at us."
"It! Doesn't! Have! Eyes!"
"Irrelevant little details!"
I grabbed Georgy from the suit and surrounded the worm to dodge the lunge of the ALEPH. We combined our powers with the mountain, but we just didn't deal enough damage. Those progenitor worms were tough. The most worrisome part of it… It was a different individual than last time. It had wounds none of my team caused. Fist-shaped marks, hammer impacts, bullet holes… That thing came from the ASIYAH layer! We faced two of them!
Nonetheless… they were still worms who couldn't enter elevators or rooms. I always wondered why those things stuck exclusively to the corridors. Apparently, they mistook the hallways for their den's tunnels. Whenever they reached a dead end, all the worms had to do was burrow underground and move elsewhere. To them, the elevator's door resembled those dead ends. If only they knew how much tasty food hid there…
Luckily for us, they didn't. The few that got in were massacred before any more could join. Our ace in the sleeve: the all mighty elevators. The sick bastards that betrayed Neal should praise the elevators instead.
The Mountain had the misfortune to remain too long inside Central's Main Room and got eaten by the first progenitor we attacked once they swapped places again. It had new wounds, so we just had to continue with our strategy of hit and run. Once the progenitors died, we would wipe clean the facility and purge any remaining worm, Dusk or otherwise.
Little Red did come after some more minor breaches occurred, shooting like crazy and having a blast. Luckily, all the worms did the cleaning for us, so anything that breached was soon defeated. Magical Girl, Little Red, Nothing There, Little Helper…
Today's lesson was: just throw enough worms at something and it will perish.
We took so long to defeat the progenitor it became a tedious labor to clean the rest of the Dusk and Dawns. Time surely was messed at that company. The day didn't finish, no matter how long we took to carefully beat the Ordeal.
The records of that day would later point out how Amber Midnight was disappointingly easy to manage, if tedious. After all, it could have been much worse and lethal than that. We weren't complaining, though. We did it. We survived. It's just… …
Was all of this really worth it?
Truly. What's the end goal? Why does Tiphereth have to suffer so much the loss of her brother? Can something be refined from her suffering? Did… Did we do the right thing? Is there a meaning to our actions?
Tiphereth's consciousness faded moments before retrieving her usual petite form.
"It was." A clown mumbled, next to her, atop the pile of B's broken bodies.
I climbed the tower and joined them. Tiphereth was so tired her digital eye was turned off. I pressed a hand onto her chassis. It was warm. There was something… alive in there. Just as I suspected, the Sephirahs were much more than mere AIs. They used to be humans. Who? When? And why?
Whatever the answers were, I hoped the sleeping Tiphereth found the resolve to continue waiting, searching and… expecting for the meaning of existence.
The more I looked into my boss, the more I understood the existence of a wall. A wall that separates us, the ignorant, from the truth. I imagined myself pressing a hand onto that wall, measuring the right amount of force needed to tear through it.
I heard something… A song…
"Hmmm… Hm, hm, hmmmm… Hhhhmmmm, hm, hm, hmmm…"
Zero grabbed my head, stripping the colors from my hair and my skin.
"Don't touch that."
Warning or threat didn't matter to an empty person. They just knew what I did and wanted me to stop. I removed my hand from Tiphereth.
"That's a bit mean, Zero-senior. This kid is not a 'that', it's a 'her'. Do you hate her for having more humanity than you?" I grinned, faking ignorance.
"There are worse fates than death."
"I'm glad. Death would be all too boring for a great protagonist like myself!"
I don't know if my words left an impression on my senior or not, but they released me and warped away. I was left alone with my Sephirah. Weird. Did machines need to breathe? I mean, Tiphereth didn't breathe or anything, but… I had a feeling she snoozed softly for the first time in quite a long time. It was almost endearing.
"Death isn't all that bad, is it, Tiph?"
A voice that wasn't hers sounded through her speakers next.
"Do not get in the way of the Seed of Light project."
"A new mystery! Do you mind disclosing something else with me, shady humming voice?"
"You're a funny one. Do your best to reach day fifty. Something great is meant to happen then."
"Acknowledged! Where are you, by the way? My seniors want you back real bad…"
"Beyond that wall."
Oh. Cool.
"May I join you over there?"
"I wouldn't recommend that. I wasn't meant to persist. Not here. Not like this. It… took me a long time to put the pieces back together."
"What does that even mean?"
"Oh, no. She found out. Bye."
I frowned at Tiphereth's turned off machine. Cyan flocks of hair passed over my shoulders.
"Who were you talking to, employee 00510?" A beautiful voice questioned.
I caressed my boss' ribbon.
"I just mumbled to myself how sorry I felt for her. Why do the Sephirahs have to go through all this pain? Is it really necessary?"
When I turned to meet Angela's eyes, I found out for the first time hers were golden. What a pretty color! I might even fall for her!
"That's irrelevant. You just have to focus on gathering energy and completing your tasks."
"I can't. I am not employee 00510. I am Izzy. You have two choices: make me your ally, or make me your enemy."
She blinked.
"Ah, wait a moment, that was stupid. If I am working for the corporation, that already makes us allies. It's just that… I don't buy your villain act. I can tell you are not just some AI designed to torment us. I want to help you. I want to help Tiphereth. What do I have to do so that none of you have to suffer anymore?"
Angela tilted her head back to me.
"I already told you. Gather energy. Work with abnormalities. If you do a good job, everything will be over."
Such a poised sorrow. Beautiful.
Machines break down. Some turn into monsters when they do. After a good session of making a fuss, they feel better and go back to their usual forms. Did Angela experience the same already sometime in the past… or was she so strong no normal amount of pain could break her? If it's the latter, what will her core meltdown look like? Pain is experienced differently from one person to the other. Is Angela truly a non-sentient AI? Or has she suffered from her emotions so much all that's left is a numb sensation of boring pain?
I wanted to steal Lobotomy Corporation for myself. I changed my mind. There's no way I'm capable of measuring up to substitute Angela. What is the Seed of Light project? What is beyond the wall? Where do I fit into all of this? What can I do… to make things right?
I won't allow myself to die before answering these questions. Day 50 it is.
