O-05-65
Lobotomy Corporation! I never expected to be able to join such a great Wing, yet here I am! My two feet entered the elevator, six exited. I looked to my two beautiful and handsome clones and pointed a finger at them. Although their short black hair was styled just like mine, they were obviously the copies.
What a surprise! I always wanted to split into two and duplicate my potential and I just got tripled!
All of us were so satisfied with the situation, we entered the first department's main room. A weird person with a raincoat, empty eyes and prosthetic arm hummed in solitude, leaning onto a wall while snapping their fingers. When they noticed us, they greeted us.
"Hey there. Hm… I see the manager decided to experiment with you. Well, since you're going to work at Record, it only makes sense that your team makes no sense. May I know your names?"
"Garcia!" We said in unison.
"Garcia… Yep, just like them. While all your names are Garcia, we will need some way to differentiate you. Please, decide on a nickname."
"I'll be One because I'm the real one!"
"Hey! I'm the real one!"
"Don't listen to them, senior. I am the original, so you may call me One."
The veteran looking employee furrowed a brow and pointed a finger to the leftmost one of us.
"Four, Five, Six. Those will be your nicknames."
"Huh?"
"Not fair!"
"Fair or not, you have actual IDs, so forget about who is the original for the time being and focus on your work. Most of you are probably not gonna survive anyway, so don't waste too much brainpower on this."
"Hold on… what? Survive? I thought we were going to do some energy production…"
The employee smiled.
"Oh, dear. That naivety sure brings some memories. Please, disregard my words. We're at day 41 out of 50 anyway, so you will only be working here for 9 mere days. Just pick whatever nickname you like the most and communicate it to your Sephirah."
"By the way, senior, we've been talking about names and nicknames, but you have yet to introduce yourself."
"Oh, that's my bad. I'm the Extraction Team's captain, so we'll be neighbors. My name is [DATA EXPUNGED], but everyone here calls me the Inspector. I check out the new abnormalities."
"What's that?"
"I'll fill you in the details as we move. It's a long trek down until we reach your department."
Me and my not-the-original clones followed the Inspector. When the elevator opened up, a giant man in a straitjacket busted through the doors and tried to crush me with its metal head. The Inspector kicked it back into the elevator and filled the man's chest with lead from a pistol.
We descended inside the elevator with the man's corpse. Forsaken Murderer, an abnormality from which energy is extracted in the shape of Positive-Enkephalim Boxes. Nuts. When we reached a hallway named 'tragic road', the Inspector entered a containment unit and showed us how to perform a work and produce energy. They just stood inside the room and reproduced the sounds from the radio by heart. One of us started to freak out. That inferior copy of mine started to twitch and tremble like a mad person. A purple-haired person beat Four with a cross-shaped club.
The Inspector thanked the Information Team's captain for the aid and we continued our tour like nothing happened. Four had to shake their green head repeatedly to erase the noises inside their head. Scary stuff.
"Hm? The flow of time normalized?" Our guide mumbled to themselves.
We waited at an open room until a bigger elevator made its way to us. The Inspector grabbed us by the clothes and pulled us outside. A red mercenary continued its path dashing like crazy.
"Ugh… don't tell me… the Orchestra again? Garcia, wait here. All of you. And cover your ears. Don't let the silence reach you."
Six didn't need to point out how that made no sense. We were the same person, so our thoughts followed the same patterns. It was actually pretty neat. We joked around until the Inspector returned to us, pale looking and dazed. The pressed their earpiece, trying to focus on the sounds emitting from it. They ignored our calls for five minutes.
The Central Command was a huge place. A black clown appeared out of nowhere, laughed at us and warped away. The Inspector didn't even comprehend what that was about, so we just moved on. A punk-looking employee who carried a huge yellow eyed black sword greeted the Inspector. Maybe having swords with eyes was a trend, because their blond companion with mechanic limbs also carried such a weapon, red with blue eyes.
Suddenly, a mouth big as the corridor approached at us from the other end. The Inspector just turned back and took us to the lower levels of the department. We didn't need to take that one.
"Oh, so now it's here."
Once we made it down, the lower hallway was blocked by a huge golden fish thing that crept towards the opposite end. The Inspector wielded their starry staff and pointed it at the creature.
"Come on, juniors, take out this thing. Use the batons you were given and smack that King of Greed good. Don't worry, it doesn't retaliate from this side, so just blast away!"
Colorful star pellets crossed us as we pursued the huge monster, branding our batons against its scales. It didn't even flinch. A white portal opened once we got closer to the end of the hallway, leading the monster elsewhere.
"Inspector! Magical Girl of Love needs some Attachment!" Someone called.
"Coming!" They said before turning towards us. "Go through that door and you will be at the Welfare Team. Wait for me there. It won't take me too long. Oh, and… if you see a snake-like monster appear out of nowhere, jump into an elevator and punch any number you want. Just don't stand in front of her for too long. Oh, and if you listen a melody from there, run away. Ah, and-"
"Inspector!"
"Yeah, yeah! Just take care, okay?"
"S-Sure."
"We'll be on our way…"
Four and Six were clearly discouraged. I thought of something to remind them I was the original, but something bumped into my back. A little winged albino who held an open book on their hands. They raised their face to bark at me.
"Don't just stand there like an idiot again. Can't you see I'm trying to read?"
"You were the one to bump into me. I think you owe me an apology."
See that, Four, Six? I'm way too cool to be a clone.
The albino punched my guts and stepped on my head.
"I'm sorry I have been born in a world where ants stroll around meowing like humans. Next time don't ask anything to our department, you hear me? We're done with your antics of 'who's who'."
Four and Six pushed them away from me and helped me up.
"That's no way to treat us! We'll tell the Inspector!"
"Hah. So what? Do you want me to cry? Piss my pants? I won't do something so disgraceful ever again. If you don't want more trouble, move the fuck aside and let me pass. That fucking false god moved all the way to Training this time. Unless you want to be turned into a freaking abomination, you shouldn't waste my time anymore. I'm on a tight schedule."
Intimidated by that crazy albino, we cleared the hallway and let them pass.
"No, you don't!"
The albino kicked another employee until they fainted. They called a couple of clerk and instructed them to carry the fainted employee to Training to receive counseling and the corpse in the bag that was about to be fed to the grinder to be disposed of at Security. Someone scared us from behind.
"I am back! Shall we continue? We're almost at your department."
After the Inspector rejoined us, we swiftly made the rest of the journey to Record, a white illuminated placed with a distant huge clock. Compared to the other departments, it was pretty chill.
A robot welcomed us. His chassis was white with gray clouds-like patterns on it. Various gears were visible from his gaps and on the outside. His body was supported by four mechanical legs. In front of a green digital eye, a monocle rested on its front. He carried pocket watch. His name: Hokma.
Behind him, another Garcia stared at us with a blank expression.
"You are to work at this department. Considering we are the Record Team, your tasks will involve, mainly, recording everything. Breaches, deaths, great performances…"
The Sephirah looked at the Inspector.
"…even the unexpected events. Through your work, the company will be able to contract and promote employees. In most cycles, everyone tries to get on this team's good side, but One, Two and Three caused some trouble with the other departments from the BRIAH layer, so you should expect some lack of enthusiasm in your exchanges. Now, the Inspector will give you a debriefing of the abnormalities that we house for the time being."
After [DATA EXPUNGED] showed us how not to look away from the Burrowing Haven, they entered O-05-65's containment unit and seated under a black lamppost that resembled a scythe with a green clock attached to the middle. Said clock possessed 5 clock hands of different sizes and forms, rotating in the center at different speeds, ticking away the seconds.
"If you look next to the door, you will find my notes. As it is mentioned there, this abno is the Price of Silence, which deals Pale damage. Pale damage is quite dangerous and you will require special equipment to survive it. For the time being, O'Neal will take care of this abno whenever a Qliphoth Meltdown occurs, so you may as well ignore this one."
"What is it special about this one? Is it like the Burrowing Haven? Does it breach when not looked at and go around killing and impaling everyone until the manager looks at it?" Our elder clone asked.
"Who knows? Whenever the manager paused time while I worked with it, the Counter lowered. We do not want to find out what happens when it reaches zero, but the clerks believe random employees will either die or go insane. The lesson to be learned from this one is… time cannot be escaped."
Although the Inspector looked at us, their words reached much farther than we could imagine. This job was going to be way more difficult than we imagined… We? Weird. I'm starting to talk about us Garcias as if we were the same, but we aren't. I'm the original!
…aren't I?
