disclaimer: JK rowling owns and I make no claims on this
a/n: Enjoy
September 1st, 1993
"Meda! I'll be fine!" Ascella stood with Meda and Ted on platform nine and three-quarters trying and failing to throw off the ministrations of her overprotective guardians. She had just about had it with them over the past month and couldn't wait to get back to Hogwarts, even if it meant the beginning of more school work at least it would be a break from all the concerned looks thrown her way when they didn't think she was looking.
They had finally let her go see Harry, about a week ago now. Ted had even offered to pick up all her new school things while he let them wander about alone. If he'd followed them around Ascella hadn't seen him. She remembered that day fondly now, the first day she'd felt like she could breath since her father's escape, that is until Harry brought it up while they were eating ice cream at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. Ascella had taken too big of a bite in her surprise, the warm day suddenly feeling cold, only for this to turn into a raging brain freeze. While uncomfortable the brain freeze had at the very least distracted Harry from talking about Black, so she supposed it was a win.
She still hadn't told Harry about Black being her father and she really didn't know why; it just sort of seemed too late now. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was aware that was an excuse, and a bad one at that, but why ruin the ease and companionableness of the nice day with such dark thoughts and discussions. Or at least that's what she told herself, when really she just didn't want him to know.
"We know Ascella," Ted said pulling her in for one more hug. Ascella grudgingly dealt with it. She might have even returned the hug if it wasn't the hundredth one in the last hour. They'd already put her trunk on the train and Ascella had begun straining over the crowd for a glimpse of her friends. Finding a slew of bright red hair she kissed Meda and Ted one last time and told them she was off. They watched her weave through the crowd, Ted with his arm around Meda and then they disapparated upon their charges arrival with the Weasley's.
"Well if it isn't my favorite family of red heads ever?" Ascella said merging with the group and throwing an arm around Ron and another around Ginny, a smirk on her face.
Ron grinned down at her.
"'Lo Cella. Good summer?" Ascella shrugged.
"Can't complain. How was Egypt?" she asked, moving the conversation away from her. The less her summer, and how it related to her father's escape, was alluded to the happier she'd be. Luckily, she'd chosen a good topic as Ron went off on how amazing the trip had been. Apparently the only bad part had been Scabbers getting sick afterwards.
He was interrupted though by the twins, who came over to chat.
"Oh Ronald, still telling anyone who'll listen about Egypt, eh?" said Fred.
"Honestly, when will you learn people are only listening to be polite now?" George added.
Ron flushed and stopped talking. The twins caught sight of Ascella then where they both promptly did a double take, before grinning appreciatively.
"Looking good Black," Fred leered.
"Very good," George agreed.
Ascella shifted her weight, suddenly wishing she'd asked Meda for new shirts as well as the trousers and underthings she'd finally broken down and asked for, more aware than before of the way her T-shirt stretched across her chest now.
She still managed to cross her arms and glare at the twins in response though.
"Shove off," she said to cover her embarrassment. "Don't you two have girlfriends you can ogle instead?"
"Nope," Fred shoved George out of his way to come up closer to her. "Only George here, but I am very much single." Ascella curled her lip.
"Charming," she said. "So if I told a certain dark haired Gryffindor Chaser you were hitting on your younger brother's mate, that wouldn't be a problem?"
Fred's face went pale and he backed off looking mildly horrified. George sniggered. Then even Fred grinned.
"Touche Miss Black," he quipped. "You win this round." Then he turned to Ron. "You could learn something from your friend about comebacks, dear Ronnekins."
Ron said some very choice words that only made the twins laugh, before they wandered off to join the rest of their friends. Ascella looked around then realizing who was missing.
"Say, where're Harry and Hermione?" But not a moment after she asked did her bushy haired friend appear from the crowd, breathing heavily and dragging her trunk along.
"Here!" she said. Ascella smiled wide and pulled her friend into a hug. Hermione returned it with one arm, the other occupied by a rather large basket. Ascella narrowed her eyes when she pulled back, surveying the basket with suspicion.
"'Mione? What's in the basket?" she asked the girl.
It was Ron who answered though.
"Hermione got a cat," he all but sneered, a hand going protectively to his breast pocket where Scabbers snoozed.
"Oh you didn't?" Ascella groaned. "A cat? Really?"
Hermione bristled at them.
"Yes. A cat," she sniffed. "And I happen to think he's quite something. Now we'd best get on the train before it's too late." And turning smartly on her heel she marched off with her nose in the air.
"Yeah, something ugly," Ron muttered under his breath to Ascella as they followed along. Ascella let out a shout of laughter that she tried to turn into a cough when Hermione shot a death glare at her over her shoulder.
"Hang on, where is Harry?" Ascella asked again as they boarded the train.
"Yes, where is he? He can't miss the train two years in a row," Hermione worried, biting her lip and looking over the platform with the other two.
Ron turned too to look, his brow furrowed.
"He was with my dad - Look! There he comes now!" he pointed and sure enough Harry was rushing toward them. He managed to grab Ron's arm, who yanked him on just as the train began to move.
"Always making an entrance, eh Potter?" Ascella grinned at her out-of-breath best friend.
He grinned back at her, shoving his hair out of his face with one hand, bent almost double as he caught his breath.
"You know me, 'Cella," he replied, before hugging her.
"Ew!" she gripped, only half-serious. "You're all sweaty."
"Come off it," he said, knowing he wasn't really all that bad.
Hermione rolled her eyes at them.
"Come on," she said. "Let's find a carriage before they are all full."
Turned out they already were full. Well all except the very last one, that was occupied by only a single rather shabbily dressed man, who also happened to be fast asleep.
Ascella, Ron and Harry looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Hermione rolled her eyes and pushed past them, opening the carriage doors.
"Come on. Everywhere else is full." They looked at each other again before shrugging and following Hermione into the carriage.
They settled their stuff in quietly before taking seats and looking ask hence at the man.
"Who do you suppose he is?" Ascella whispered. He had sandy brown hair and the look of a young man who his aged beyond his years, his hair already graying in places, wrinkled lining his face in places.
"Professor R.J. Lupin," Hermione stated primly. "Our new Defense teacher most likely."
The others looked at her their mouths dropping open.
"How the hell do you know that?" Ron asked.
"It's on the suitcase," she pointed above them to the luggage rack above his head.
"Oh."
"Well either way doesn't look like he'll be waking up any time soon," Ascella said turning to Harry. "So, what did Mr. Weasley want to tell you?"
"Oh yeah," Harry brightened before he leaned in and told them about how Mr. weasley wanted to tell Harry about the Ministry's suspicion about Black and how he was after Harry. Ascella felt all the blood drain from her face as soon as Harry mentioned Black. She tried to sink back into the seat back behind her as if she wanted to disappear there. She couldn't believe she'd been so stupid to walk right into opening this conversation. And she'd been doing so well avoiding these talks thus far too.
When he finished Ron and Hermione began questioning him and stayed engaged in the conversation but Ascella pointedly avoided all eye contact with any of them and remained silent, playing instead with a hole in her jeans.
"Ascella?" Hermione finally asked, noticing her silence. "Are you alright?"
Ascella looked up, her eyes wide. "Oh. Yes," she said, ignoring Harry's concerned look and only looking at Hermione. "You know actually, I think - er - that I'm going to go find some of the Ravenclaw's," she said rising, suddenly feeling like this compartment was stifling.
And without waiting for any of their responses she walked out the door. In a daze she walked down the corridor until she spotted Kevin and Aaron in a compartment with Kevin's younger sister and Aaron's older brother and his friends.
Kevin, she thought. That's what she needed, her friend from the summer who knew her secret. So she forced a grin on her face and opened the door.
Aaron saw her first. With a roar he rushed her and tackled her in a hug.
"Ascella!" he said. Then he drew back and looked at her. "You look -" he swallowed a blush grazing his fair skin. "-different." he mumbled.
"Smooth Romeo," his brother hooted at him, while his friends laughed. Aaron turned and sent a rude hand gesture at his brother. Ascella rolled her eyes and turned to Kevin.
He had a ready smile for her and it was Ascella's turn to blush and duck her head.
"Didn't expect to see you," he said, no doubt referring to how she usually spent the train rides with Harry and the rest of her Gryffindor friends, but sounding pleased he had.
"Yeah well, here I am," she said, with a shrug. Kevin appeared to recognize her tone though and looked to be about to question her further about it when he was interrupted by Aaron loudly drawing attention back to him and the others and away from the relatively peaceful corner by the door where Kevin, she and his sister sat.
"Oy! Kev, tell my brother and his friends what you told me. About how come you are so tall!"
Kevin spared Ascella a single look as if 'what are you going to do' before explaining his dad was well over 6 foot.
"Yeah but your mum is like the tiniest Korean lady I've ever seen!" Aaron protested.
"You're just jealous you are still so short," Kevin came back easily. All the others in the car laughed at Aaron.
The joking around and general mucking about continued, the compartment a general place of merriment, but it did not leave any room for Ascella to get to chat with Kevin. She wanted to talk about anything that wasn't her father, even if it was to ask Kevin how he and his sister were doing; his mum had officially left his dad at the end of August and there were talks that she might have to undergo a memory charm if she didn't agree to keep to the laws of The International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy.
It also didn't help that anytime she was about to talk to Kevin or even to his sister who looked slightly alarmed at being there and was clinging to her brother's side, then Aaron inevitably tried to draw her attention back to the rest of the group and Kevin let him. She also couldn't understand why the older boys kept shooting glances at her and whispering to each other.
She was sure she recognized one of them as Roger Davies, the new Quidditch Captain of the Ravenclaw team and while she might have ordinarily wanted to shoot the shit with everyone, this wasn't what she'd been looking for so around one she excused herself to Kevin and fled the compartment before any of the others could call her back.
Still not wanting to head back to Harry and be questioned about why she'd left there so abruptly she turned instead to search for her other Ravenclaw friends. She was sure Terry would be nose deep in some book or other and it might be nice to join him. It was as she was peering into compartments and in general not watching where she was going that she ran smack into the chest of a tall fifth year.
"Oof," she said falling back a step. Two hands reached out and steadied her.
"Sorry! Are you alright?" the boy asked, his voice sounding genuinely concerned.
"Well I was 'til I ran into you. Why don't you watch where you are going?" she asked hotly, rubbing her head not caring that it was more than likely her fault.
The boy chuckled.
"I think you actually ran into me," he said, bemusement evident in his tone.
"Whatever," she waved him off and moved on not even glancing up to see who she'd bumped into. She figured it had to be a Hufflepuff, no one else would've been so nice about it. And Hufflepuffs were boring so she moved on. In doing so she didn't notice the small perplexed smile on the boy's face as he watched her walk away, before he shook his head and reentered his compartment.
Ascella found her other Ravenclaw friends, Padma Patil and Terry Boot, in a compartment with Micheal Corner and Anthony Goldstein. Ascella couldn't help but smile seeing her prediction about Terry had held true, his favorite novel open before him.
Ascella's entrance was greeted with surprise and pleasant delight on Padma and Terry's sides, while Corner and Goldstein only stared at her. Ascella ignored them and curled up next to Boot putting her head on his shoulder so she could read his book with him.
Padma at first had wanted to talk about her trip to India but seeing her friend curled up so she could only smile and fall silent, instead continuing to talk with the other two boys.
"Do you want me to start over?" Terry asked Ascella, his voice loud enough so only she could hear, his cheeks a faint pink in color.
"No," said Ascella. "I love this part." She'd read the book the previous year at his recommendation and had been surprisingly delighted by it.
Ascella spent the remainder of the afternoon lost in a silent fictional world with a good friend, not noticing the time passing, the trolley lady stopping by and certainly not that it had begun to rain heavily outside, looking almost as dark as night out. She probably wouldn't even have noticed the slowing of the train if it hadn't been for Terry, who'd jerked his head up startling her as the train slowed.
"We can't be there already?" he asked the others, his book falling closed.
The rest shrugged and shook their heads, eyes wide. Corner and Goldstein made to try and see out the window while Padma looked at her watch.
"No, we shouldn't arrive for another 40 minutes at least," she confirmed for them.
That was when the lights went out. Ascella swore. Then came the cold. An icy chill that swept over her like she'd just dove headfirst into the Great Lake in the dead of winter. Ascella had never felt so frigid in her entire life. She tried to snuggle closer to Terry but whatever cold was over her must have been over him too because he wasn't any warmer.
Then the door opened, a slimy gray hand poking out of a black cloak and a rattling noise coming from the depths of its hood. Ascella felt all hope get sucked out at it and then her world went black.
"NO!" a man howled. "Mack, no, no no," the same voice sounded again muffled now, voice raw with emotion. "I'm so sorry Mack. It's all my fault. My fault. Mack -"
"Ascella!" Someone was shaking her. "Ascella!"
"No, no, no," she mumbled until her eyes snapped open. She found herself on the floor with four pairs of eyes looking down on her, a varying mix of concern and fear on all of their faces. Ascella dimly noticed that the lights were back on.
"Wha - what happened?" she asked as Padma and Terry helped her up.
"Well that - that thing," Padma started with a shudder.
"Dementor," Goldstein supplied.
"Right that, well it came in here and you sorta - well," she glanced awkwardly to Terry.
"You passed out Ascella. And started saying no over and over," Terry finished. Ascella felt shaky.
"None of you lot passed out then?" she asked. They all shook their heads no. Ascella felt her cheeks warm.
Then she remembered what she knew about Dementors. They made you relive your worst memory and if she'd passed out at whatever the hell memory she'd just had then she knew someone who had one way worse.
"I'm sorry. I have to go," she said before rushing out of the compartment, only one thought driving her, get to Harry.
Her legs were shaky and weak but she made it back to the compartment in record time. She flung open the door startling everyone in the compartment, dully noting it was more full than she'd remembered upon leaving it, Ginny and was that Longbottom, having joined them, but she had eyes for only Harry. One look at his pale face and dazed green eyes and she knew; he'd passed out too and had most likely heard something related to the death of his parents. She squeezed in beside him and enveloped him in a hug, taking as much comfort as she hoped she gave.
"I passed out 'Cells," he mumbled to her.
"I know. It's okay. I did too," she said.
"You did?" he asked hopeful.
"Yeah. Don't sound so enthused about it," she replied darkly. "Not like it was pleasant or anything."
"No - I didn't mean-" he tried to backpedal. "It's just no one else did."
Ascella was about to respond when the door was opened again and Ascella found herself meeting the warm brown eyes with the man that had once been asleep in this compartment.
He started and hesitated before breaking eye contact with her and looked around at the others a warm smile on his face making him look years younger.
"I haven't poisoned it," he said. "Eat up. It'll make you feel better. We should be at the castle soon." That was when Ascella noticed everyone else in the room had hunks of Honeydukes chocolate.
"Oy, where'd you lot get that?" she asked. She wanted some chocolate. After the day she'd had she thought she deserved some.
Lupin broke off a piece from a bar her had and handed it to her. She blushed and mumbled a thank you, she hadn't meant to sound so demanding.
"And you must be Ascella," Lupin said.
"Er - yes," Ascella said through a mouthful of chocolate, that was surprisingly making her feel better, driving away the cold she still felt. "How did you know?"
"Harry, here was very concerned about his missing friend when the dementors came aboard." Ascella turned to her friend.
"Aw. You really do care!"
To her surprise Harry didn't rise to her teasing.
"'Course I do 'Cella," he said taking another bit of his chocolate. "Those things were - " he paused a dark look crossing his face.
"Horrible. I know," she said curling in closer. She wanted to ask what he'd heard but a part of her didn't want to because she didn't want to relive what she'd heard either. Instead she asked Lupin why the dementors came aboard.
To his credit the man only glanced once at Harry when he explained that they were stationed to protect the school and had most likely been searching the train for Sirius Black. She gave him more credit too, for looking her in the eye when he said it. He knew, knew who's child sat before him and he didn't seem to care. It was this uncaring that made it easy for her to maintain eye contact and nod before she looked away.
They changed into their robes shortly after and then not soon enough for Ascella's taste they were arriving at the station in Hogsmeade.
They were met at the castle doors as they departed from their carriage by the drawling voice of non-other than Draco Malfoy.
"What a way to start the year," Ascella muttered as Draco mocked Harry for fainting at the dementors. Ascella supposed she was lucky he hadn't heard about her, then again he never had found as much joy in mocking her as he did her Gryffindor friends. Ascella figured it was cause he didn't have anything on her and knew she wouldn't fall as easily to his goading; Ascella just couldn't be bothered.
"Shove off, Malfoy," Ascella defended her friend glaring hard at her cousin or whatever he was in relation to her. "I saw you," she added though she hadn't, merely hoping she'd get lucky just by guessing. "Quivering like a small child. Looked like you were about to wet your pants."
Malfoy flushed, letting Ascella know that she hadn't been far off on her guess, and had opened his mouth to respond when they were interrupted by Professor Lupin who had just gotten out of the carriage behind them.
"Merlin, I hate that guy," Ascella said to Harry and the others referring to Malfoy, as the boys nodded in agreement. In the Entrance Hall as they made their way to the Great Hall Professor McGonagall called out above the crowd for Harry and Hermione. Ascella looked at her friend, a question in her eyes, but he only shrugged and went off with Hermione. Ron stared after them before Ascella tugged him along.
Ascella left Ron at the Ravenclaw table as she caught sight of Padma and Terry's worried expressions. She sighed realizing they probably wanted some explanation so she moved off to join them, telling Ron she'd meet up with him later. He nodded and moved off to sit with the twins and their friends at the Gryffindor table while Ascella peeled off at the second table and sat with her friends at the Ravenclaw.
No sooner than Ascella sat down before, "Ascella. Are you okay?" from Padma and "'Cella! You alright?" from Terry. She held in her rolled eyes but just barely.
"Yes. Just needed to find Harry. He passed out too," she said the last lowly. They blinked then understanding flooded their eyes.
"Oh, that poor boy," Padma said.
"You don't think - his parents," Terry asked. Ascella felt a wave of gratitude for her friends. Leave it to the Ravenclaws to immediately understand what must have happened to Harry.
"I can't think of what else it could be," Ascella said. "Look don't go spreading that around though." She looked hard at them both.
"No. Never," they said together shaking their heads emphatically. Ascella smiled. She felt she could count on them to keep that secret and if they couldn't, well then they'd find out just how bad it could be for them for betraying Ascella Black's trust; she knew where they slept.
The sorting was boring as usual, the hat singing another silly song. She almost envied Harry for getting to miss it. She'd spotted him walk in with Hermione just after. He smiled at her before they moved on to join Ron at the Gryffindor table.
Then came the announcements, which were also just as snooze worthy in Ascella's mind except for Hagrid getting announced as the new Care of Magical Creatures teacher. While Ascella had cheered just as loudly as the rest, she couldn't help but also be glad she wasn't taking that course. She'd heard all about the monster of a book Harry and the others had had to get for the class. No thank you.
After the meal Ascella was quite thoroughly stuffed and actually looking forward to falling asleep in her four post bed back in Ravenclaw. Alas she was rudely drawn out of her happy state at the sound of Malfoy speaking loudly from the table behind as she and the rest of her Ravenclaw friends rose to leave.
"Can you imagine what an embarrassment it would be having a father like that?" he laughed to his friends. Ascella just had a feeling he was talking about her father, her gray eyes locking on his nasty pointed little face. "I mean really," here he caught eyes with her, his evil little smile growing and Ascella knew for sure he was talking about her father. "He's completely insane. You know what they say too, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."
"If you are going to talk about my dad Malfoy, why don't you say it to my face!" Ascella called across the crowd. Her friends and the others around them fell silent looking worriedly between the two.
"Oh, but it's so much more fun this way. Say, how much poking do you think it'll take before she goes as insane as her old man, Sirius Black," Malfoy called loudly, drawing even more attention to them, students even going so far as to stop and stare.
Ascella lunged for him but Kevin and Aaron, seeming to come out of nowhere, grabbed onto her, one on each side, stopping her.
She struggled against them while Malfoy hid between Crabbe and Goyle.
It was at this point that Harry came over, having seen the commotion.
"What's going on?" he asked, eyes darting between Ascella and Malfoy.
Ascella was too busy glaring at the back of Malfoy's head as he moved off with the rest of the Slytherins to answer. When he was out of sight she threw off Aaron and Kevin. Harry looked instead at her friends for an explanation.
"He said something about her dad," Aaron supplied. Ascella glared at him but he ignored it.
"Her dad?" Harry narrowed his eyes, confused.
Aaron was confused too but for a different reason, but it was Kevin that answered.
"Yeah. You know, Sirius Black."
Harry closed off then.
"Oh, right. 'Course."
Great, Ascella thought before humping and marching away from them. She didn't get far before Harry caught up with her.
"I don't want to talk about it Harry."
Harry ignored her and grabbed her arm spinning her around. They were in a random corridor on the third floor and far away from anyone else. If she wasn't so angry she might have been mildly impressed at how far she'd gotten in such a short time frame.
"Come on 'Cells," he started.
"I said I don't want to talk about it!" she snapped back at him, sounding more defiant than she felt. Harry's eyes flashed dangerously.
"Well too bad! We're going to! And how about you start with the fact that you failed to mention, in nearly three years of friendship I might add, that Black was your father! I thought we told each other everything, Ascella!"
"It just didn't come up," Ascella mumbled.
"Didn't come up?!" Harry exploded, his arms waving with his anger. "Didn't come up! It's come up plenty!
"Well would you have wanted to?" she exploded back, meeting his furious gaze. "Would you want to tell people that your dad was a raving mass murdering lunatic?" Harry was silent. "Yeah, that's what I thought." Ascella turned on her heel but Harry caught her arm again, stopping her.
"'Cella," he said softly, his voice betraying how hurt he was. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Ascella deflated. She knew she'd been unfair. She sniffed and turned back around. When she answered she spoke to a brick over Harry's shoulder instead of looking him in the eye.
"It's just people that know, judge me enough for it. I didn't need you looking at me any differently because you knew too. Especially if you looked at me with pity."
Harry's head fell back dramatically.
"Come on 'Cells. You know I'd never," he vowed.
"I know," she said her voice small. "It was stupid I guess."
"Very. Honestly though, I probably should have asked sooner. I guess I just assumed your dad was dead too, like your mum." He paused then. "And now I sound like a complete git... sorry that was so blunt."
"Don't worry about it. You don't know how often I've wished that he was dead too. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."
"It's s'okay," Harry shrugged before grinning. "Just no more secrets okay? I'm your best mate, I should already know all this stuff. You made me look a right prat back there."
Ascella giggled.
"The look on your face was rather funny!"
Harry rolled his eyes, but he was smiling too. She told him then that she thought she'd give Ravenclaw a try for the night. He gave her a hug goodnight and told her the password to Gryffndor "Fortuna Major" for when she inevitably did get locked out at some point.
Ascella made her way slowly to her tower, utterly exhausted now. She was surprised at how easy the riddle was. Maybe the damn bird on the knocker could sense her mood.
"Mr. Feathers has 4 daughters. Each of his daughters has a brother. How many children does Mr. Feathers have?"
"Five," Ascella answered. "Take that!" she added as the door swung open, a smile actually on her face. She could've sworn the bird returned hers with a smile of its own.
Ascella made her way to her dormitory, where, after she waved her wand at Turpin turning the snoring girls hair a nasty shade of puke green, she crawled into bed without even changing clothes and fell fast asleep, her sleep peaceful and dreamless for the first time in a month.
a/n: sorry bit of a boring chapter, mostly filler and set up for the year. Let me know if Ascella didn't come off right in this chapter though. Trying to show everyone is growing up and get across that while she draws people's attention (like Sirius always did and my version of Marlene) only a select few actually like her for her personality and of those she barely lets any of them in (she's emotionally unavailable haha)
