a/n: I'm sorry - I'm sorry - I'm sorry - I'm sorry! I have no excuse except that my life has been crazy recently and some shit has been going down. I also built a brand new computer and all my Ascella files were on the old hard drive which I've not had the effort to get off until recently because of... stuff... that I don't want to mention here. ANYway! You lot just want a new addition to this story so here it is!

Disclaimer: Do not own, that would be the lovely Joanne Rowling who does.


December 1993

"You know - I don't think Chaser is really for me either," Ascella said after she dove for a dropped Quaffle for the umpteenth time, returning up to where Harry, Cho, Katie Bell from Gryffindor, and Randolph Burrow from the Ravenclaw team were hovering on their brooms. Harry was trying and failing to not laugh at her (she may or may not have so spectacularly missed the last pass to her and had flayed around so much, her arms windmilling wildly, that she'd tipped the broom forward and had had to return her hands to her broom lest she fall off). She glared at him while the others pretended they weren't amused as well.

"Oh shut it," Ascella grumbled to them all, tossing the Quaffle to Burrow with a bit more force than she'd intended to in her annoyance. He grunted as he caught it.

"Well, that was a nice toss - bit aggressive but better than the rest," he teased. Ascella rolled her eyes.

Burrow was only there because he and Cho were good friends and he was one of the ones on the team that mostly ignored Ascella, indifferent to her, while Bell had been asked to help out by Harry. Ascella hadn't played at all in Ravenclaw's first match against Hufflepuff at the end of November. Ravenclaw flattened Hufflepuff, which made Harry happy as it helped the Gryffindor chances but it only put Ascella on edge and she had become more determined than ever to find a position she would be good at so she could actually play in a match some day. She had also found that heavy Quidditch and flying sessions as she tried to figure out her ideal position were helping to exhaust her so that she could actually fall asleep at night without having nightmares about her father.

They continued to pass the Quaffle around - good practice for the rest of them even if Ascella was not going to actually be a Chaser - before someone came up with the bright idea that Ascella should try out Keeper while they had two first string Chasers with them in Burrow and Bell. That worked well (and by well it was well for the Chasers as Ascella was more often than not dodging out of the way of the Quaffle's than stopping them, letting them soar right through whichever of the three hoops the Chasers had been aiming for) until Ascella attempted to stop one but misjudged it and it her slipped through her fingers and slammed into her chin.

"OW!" she moaned, letting the ball drop (Burrow went chasing after it), her hands going to her face, while the others converged on her, making sure she was alright. Needless to say they decided to call it a day after that and Ascella decided if she never saw a Quaffle again, it would be too soon, completely ruling out being either a Chaser or Keeper as in her future.

Harry escorted Ascella back up to the castle ahead of the rest, who stayed behind to put the balls away, so Ascella could get her face looked at by Madame Pomfrey.

"I'm fine, Harry," Ascella grumbled to him, moving her jaw as little as possible while she talked. "It hardly hurts at all."

"Ascella - I can see the bruise already setting in and you can barely open your mouth to talk without wincing."

Ascella tried to pout but that hurt too and she ended up moaning and cradling her chin instead. Harry took this as confirmation he was right and Ascella grudgingly went along with him to the Hospital Wing.

An hour and much huffing and muttering from Pomfrey later (she was still angry with Harry for having snuck away with Ascella after his fall the previous month - he had been supposed to stay the rest of the weekend but had left with Ascella instead when she snuck him out for the Quidditch party - not that Pomfrey knew where they had gone just that he had left and not returned) and they were headed back out and up to Gryffindor Tower, Ascella feeling much better indeed but not willing to admit to Harry as much - didn't want that smug look on his face to get even worse at confirmation that he had been right.

As they were passing by the library they spotted a bushy haired girl with an overflowing bag entering it without even acknowledging them.

"Wasn't that Hermione?" Ascella asked, looking at Harry. Harry was still looking after their friend.

"I think so... She's been rather distant lately. Doesn't help Ron is always riding her about where she is all the time. And about her cat."

"Poor 'Mione," Ascella sympathized.

"I think she misses you," Harry said turning to her as they moved off.

"What? Misses me? But I see her in Arithmacy and we work on homework together - well next to each other." The only homework this year that Ascella was bound to always religiously complete and even go above and beyond with was Arithmacy - and Defense but that was only because she liked Lupin so much, then again she still did forget defense assignments here and there - and as such Hermione would join her when she was working on it though they didn't usually need to help each other overmuch.

"Yeah but she misses you. A female influence and all that - friendly face you know."

"Hmm, I suppose I could try and talk with her more, see what's going on with her. You know I have noticed that our homework sessions have been different recently - I've actually been helping her. And not with the only hard stuff like before but even with the easy stuff," Ascella mused thinking of their latest study session in the Ravenclaw common room.

"Yeah you should talk to her," Harry said alarmed at that information. Ascella didn't help anyone with homework unless it was to lend them her finished assignment for copying - not that that happened often as she was usually the last one to get her homework done if she got it done at all.

"Soo," Ascella grinned suddenly, throwing a sly look at her best mate. "How's it going with Cho?"

Harry's face instantly went scarlet. Ascella cackled.

"Shudup," he mumbled to her his face only flushing more. Ascella only laughed harder, until he pushed her over. Affronted, Ascella glared at him and his cheeky grin. Then he ran - Ascella hot on his heels, both of them arriving at Gryffindor Tower sweating, breathing hard and laughing.

Later that weekend in Ravenclaw Ascella found herself holed up with Terry Boot at her corner table while she researched more on the Wolfsbane potion and he worked on a star chart for Astronomy.

"That star is Sirius not Mintaka," Ascella said not looking up.

"I - what?" Terry scrunched his face up, eyes darting from her to his star chart (now incorrectly labeled) and back.

"Mintaka is one of the three sister stars making up Orion's belt. You are labeling Canis Major right there and the brightest star in the night's sky. That is Sirius."

Terry pursed his lips and consulted the open Astronomy book he'd checked out from the library after their latest Charms Club meeting. "Damn," he swore. "You're right."

"But of course."

She felt more than saw his glare. She ignored it. She also ignored his inquiry of if she'd done her star chart already. No, she hadn't and she wasn't planning on it. Not this one. She refused to label the constellation and star her father was named after - who cared if it was going to be a part of their year end project of mapping that whole region of the stars. While she did plan on turning in a project she planned on keeping that entire section blank.

Not too much longer passed before they were interrupted by the arrival of Aaron. After about 30 measly seconds Ascella gave up trying to keep her focus and instead started talking and laughing with Aaron - even getting quiet Terry to join in and laugh at their antics. At some point Padma came up to them and asked Aaron if he wanted to study with her and Sue Li for the upcoming Muggle Studies test they had but he dismissed her and waved her off without so much as glancing in her direction. With a crestfallen face Padma left in a huff shooting a half glare - half hurt look Ascella's way.

Ascella bristled and sniffed.

"Why's she so stuffy?" Ascella asked Terry and Aaron, glaring after the girl. "She didn't even say hi to me." Aaron shrugged as if he couldn't be bothered while Ascella zeroed her gaze in on Terry who was pointedly avoiding her gaze. He must have felt it though because he wrote in his parchment so only she could see 'I'll tell you later'.

Ascella sat back stung and annoyed. So Padma was angry with her. She just had no clue why.

The following Monday, Minnie came around asking for names of those that would be staying for the holidays. Ascella signed up without a moments hesitation with the dual purpose of keeping Harry company and avoiding further furtive glances and constant worry from Ted and Meda back home. She hadn't consulted them about it but they would have to deal. Besides if they tried to argue with her about staying she knew to come back with the fact that Hogwarts was easily the safest place for her to be staying.

Later that week, after Potions one day, Ascella managed to corner Terry, who since Sunday and his promise to tell her what was going on with Padma had been avoiding her - he'd even sat next to Michael Corner instead of her during Charms!

He looked mildly alarmed at the intense expression on her face as he cowered in the corner she'd literally cornered him in. She put her hands on her hips and narrowed her gray eyes at him.

"You know what this is about," she stated after staring at him for at least a minute.

He focused his gaze over her shoulder.

"Why is Pads mad at me?" Ascella demanded.

Terry let out a sigh.

"And why is it such a big deal that you've taken to avoiding me?"

"Look," Terry began. "Surely, you've figured it out?" He said this with the air that he really didn't want to be having this conversation.

Ascella humped and glared harder at him.

"Fine. Look Pads sort of has a crush on Morag."

"Oo-kay..." Ascella drew out. "First - gross. Second - what's that got to do with her being mad at me?"

Terry looked at her like she was crazy.

"Morag likes you!" he said finally meeting her gaze. "And you like him," he added miserably. "That's why she's mad."

Ascella shuddered.

"Me? Like Aaron?" she was practically laughing now. "What ever gave any of you lot that, quite frankly, ridiculous impression?"

"Wait - you don't like Aaron?" Terry asked, brightening at this news.

"Merlin, no!" Ascella exclaimed with another shudder. "Aaron is so not my type." she added, her mind flashing to an image of Kevin. She flushed thinking of him. No, she did not like Aaron.

"Well good," Terry said, shouldering his bag higher, a smug grin springing unbidden to his face and making to move off towards lunch. Ascella followed, too distracted at the insane idea that she liked Aaron to further question Terry about what to do about her strained friendship with Padma.

At dinner she was still thinking about it, having spent the better part of her afternoon lessons thinking on it and not paying any attention to the lessons.

Harry sat down next to her and became engaged in conversation with his house mates Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan and Ron. It wasn't until after Hermione had arrived and gotten into a discussion with Ron that Ascella turned to Harry.

"Objectively - if two best mates who are lads - both have crushes on the same girl but the girl only likes the one how would you handle it?"

Harry shifted in his seat, avoiding her gaze as he stirred around his mashed potatoes on his plate. He made a face as he responded.

"I don't know, 'Cells. Can't you ask 'Mione?"

Ascella huffed.

"No, I can't ask her. She's worse than I am when it comes to this stuff. Normally, I'd ask Padma but she is angry with me for some stupid reason I can't be bothered with." At this point, while Ascella remembered that Terry had told her the reason for Padma being annoyed she had only focused on the fact that Aaron liked her and of how that would affect her - for instance would Kevin, if he knew about his best mates crush, be willing to go for her despite liking her himself. It would make sense that he wouldn't. Thus, that was all that she had thought about since and she had quite forgotten the detail about Padma liking Aaron.

"Well I don't know," Harry finally relented and replied, seriously thinking about what she'd asked him. "I 'spose if Ron and I liked the same girl but I knew that Ron liked her more than yeah I'd lay low and let him have her."

"So you'd pretend you didn't like her?" Ascella asked brightening. "Even if the girl liked you?" Harry shrugged and nodded.

That had to be what was happening with Kevin and Aaron and why Kevin had been just treating her like a friend since school. Feeling heartened Ascella kissed Harry on the cheek and flounced away from the now blushing boy to head for the Ravenclaw table.

"OY!" he called after her. "Why did you ask?"

Ascella waved him off. "No reason!" she called and continued on her way, her bag swinging from her shoulder.

She was now flat determined to spend more time with Kevin and get him to admit to liking her like she did him. Unfortunately, she didn't get Kevin to confess his undying love for her in the next weeks before break but she did get some more one on one time with the boy, for which she was very happy about.

The last weekend before term ended was a Hogsmeade trip much to everyone but Harry's delight. Ascella offered to stay behind with Harry but he convinced her it would be a good time for her to spend some more time with Hermione. Since Ascella was a bit starved of female companionship at this point, seeing as Padma was avoiding her worse than ever, she relented and bundled up in winter weather garb, tucking her long wavy golden blond hair into a gray hat, the ends covered by the thick Gryffindor scarf she'd stolen from Harry and wrapped around her neck, and she'd headed out to Hogsmeade with Ron and Hermione.

Of course though, they'd all had the shock of their lives when Harry showed up behind them in Honeyduke's while they were debating the merits of Cockroach Clusters and if Harry would like them.

Ascella, for her part had gotten over the shock soonest, shrieking in joy at seeing Harry there in Hogsmeade and throwing her arms around her friend. Hermione had sniffed and made some noise about getting in trouble but Ascella and Ron hushed her and asked Harry how he'd gotten there.

He had then shown and explained about the Maruader's Map, a magic map that showed where everyone was in Hogwarts, as well as showing all the secret passages in and out of the school, one of which Harry had used to get to Honeyduke's - apparently it led right to the Honeyduke's cellar. Ascella and Ron were well impressed with the map - Ascella more impressed with the genius of the creator's than in harping about how Fred and George should have given it to Ron because he was their brother as Ron kept saying. Personally, Ascella didn't give a shit about the twins giving it to Ron and was just glad Harry had it as it would make sneaking about the castle - not to mention to Hogsmeade - that much easier.

Hermione was still protesting but they did eventually manage to hush her and appease her issues with both the map and Harry sneaking out and then they all agreed to head to the Three Broomsticks for a warm up drink. In the Three Broomsticks while Ascella was waiting in the crowded room at the bar for four butterbeers she ran into Cedric Diggory. He was with his mates Andreanna Fawley (who wasn't with her boyfriend George Weasley for once), Declan Hawthourne, Tanner Park, and Emily - something - Ascella couldn't remember.

"Alright, Black?" he asked, a smile on his lips. Ascella shrugged.

"Yeah, alright," she replied with a small smile and without saying anything else she gathered up her four butterbeers and pushed on through the crowd back to the corner table that her friends had found to hid Harry at. It was behind a large Christmas tree and far in the corner.

Despite this the group still shoved Harry under the table when a group of teachers and staff came to the table next to them including Professors McGonagall and Flitwick, as well as Hagrid and the Minister of Magic. Ascella remembered seeing the Minister the previous year and she still found his fashion choices ridiculous. Pinstrips AND a lime green bowler hat?!

Any humor at his ridiculous outfit left her though as the topic of their conversation turned to escaped mass murderer, and her father, Sirius Black.

"I can still hardly believe Black went so bad," Madame Rosmerta was saying. "I remember him as a boy, hanging out with James Potter and the rest. Always ready with a joke and a laugh."

"Oh, it's worse than all that," Fudge said gruffly. "The worst of it isn't even that well known. The Potter's weren't the only ones betrayed by him. Surely you remember the McKinnon's and how their entire family was killed by the Death Eaters?"

Rosmerta nodded.

"Yes. I cried so much when I heard the news. I went to school with one of the older brothers and I remember the girl, Marlene. Good looking family," Rosmerta said. "Black always seemed so sweet on the girl."

"For all we know," McGonagall replied, "he was. Despite it all. She and he are the parents of third year Ascella Black and somehow she survived. I am sure you've seen her in here this year?"

Rosmerta gasped.

"No!" she breathed her perfectly red manicured hand moving to cover her mouth. "I knew the girl had to be Marlene's - she resembled her too much - but not Black's too!"

Flitwick and McGonagall were nodding in confirmation. Ascella felt her stomach churn and the blood drain completely from her face. This was turning into one too many confessions for her liking.

"No one knew until year's later," McGonagall explained. "But the girl is his. She has his eyes."

"And his temperament for mischief," Hagrid added.

"She's got more of the mother I think," Flitwick came in rather hotly, defending his house student. Ascella felt a wave of gratitude for her head of house. "I've never seen someone so gifted at Charms. 'Cept maybe her mother or Dumbledore in his day." Ascella felt some warmth flood back into her cheeks at his words.

"Despite it all though," Fudge cut in. "For all we know he was the cause of the McKinnon's downfall as well as the Potter's."

"No!" Rosmerta gasped while the others nodded. Ascella suddenly wished she was hiding under the table with Harry, anything to be out of the way of directing hearing the words that followed, any way to avoid the shocked looks Ron and Hermione couldn't help but throw her way.

The group of adults proceeded to explain how James and Black had been best friends in school, how after school the Potter's had known Voldemort was after them and that they'd gone into hiding, how it was Black that was the secret keeper, how Black knew where the McKinnon's were hiding out too, how Dumbledore knew their was a traitor among them and how he urged James to use someone else, not Black but how he didn't listen and how both the McKinnon's and the Potter's ended up dead - the ultimate betrayal, a betrayal that lead to Black being the closest supporter of Voldemort. Here Ascella genuinely felt she was going to be sick - she had never known the depth to which her father was a madman.

And it only got worse.

The group continued to explain about how another friend, a Peter Pettigrew, had tracked down Black after hearing of the deaths of Lily and James, had tracked him down to seek vengeance on him and how he and 12 muggles instead ended up dead, the crime for which Black was ultimately convicted of and thrown in Azkaban for. At this point Ascella stopped listening, her ears ringing and her stomach churning wildly.

How - how was she related to that man? How could her mother have loved him enough to marry and have a child with?

Ascella didn't remember much about the trip back to the castle, just that Harry wasn't with them and that she was thankful for the raging snowstorm that kept Hermione or Ron from trying to carry on a conversation with her. She begged off dinner once they reached the Great Hall and headed up to Ravenclaw. She didn't get the riddle right so she sat outside for a minute before she was luckily saved by a group of second years who were on their way down to the Great Hall.

Ascella avoided her Ravenclaw friends by not leaving her four post - seeing as her only remaining Ravenclaw friends at this point were male and they couldn't get into her dormitory - Padma was still avoiding her.

To say her night was far from restful would have been a vast understatement.

Around noon the next day Ascella finally felt the pangs of hunger and she crawled out of the hovel her bed had become and pulling on a thick Midnight blue sweater Mrs. Weasley had made her first year (it was only a bit snug mostly across her boobs and now actually fit her arms and rested just above the waist band of her jeans - good thing Mrs. Weasley had made the sweater big at the time) she headed for Gryffindor. She had at first been confused and then delighted when she walked into the common room in Ravenclaw to find it completely empty; it was finally Christmas holiday! And she was the only Ravenclaw left.

Which meant she was going to get plenty of time to spend working on the Wolfsbane potion. But how to make sure she could get into and out of the tower?

"Hmm..." Ascella murmured surveying the door knocker while she kept her foot in it to keep it from closing. She knew she could always have Hermione help her get in but she really wanted a way to come and go as she pleased. She could have sworn the door knocker was looking mockingly back at her as she thought. Finally she decided on using a heavy armchair from the common room to wedge open the door though she doubted that would really work. But maybe she had a chance and then she headed out.

She found her friends circled around Harry in front of a roaring fire in the Gryffindor common room, trying to talk him out of killing Sirius Black. Ascella flopped down on the couch next to Harry and proceeded to put her feet up on the coffee table in front of them. She wasn't planning on joining the conversation but Hermione - clearly exasperated at this point - sent her a look of pleading.

Ascella sighed and sat up turning to look at her friend.

"Look mate, I don't blame you for wanting to kill him. Believe me I'd be the first in line to help," here Hermione let out a squawk of protest, but Ascella talked over her. "But you can't go after him."

Harry's face went from triumph at her first words to coloring with his anger.

"And why not?" he demanded, arms crossing, defiance shinning in his eyes.

"Because he already took my mother and her family from me. And he took your family from you. Don't give him the opportunity to take something else from us."

Harry deflated.

"Yeah. You're right," he mumbled.

Ascella grinned.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that? What was that?" she asked, cupping her hand around her ear and turning her head so as to better hear him.

"Yeah, yeah you're right. Happy?" he said a smile tugging at his own lips. Ascella laughed. Then Ron suggested they go down for a visit with Hagrid. Harry agreed but Ascella shook her head at the invitation.

"I want to migrate my potions project up from the N.E. practice potions room to Ravenclaw tower for break. I've the tower to myself. Might actually get some progress made what with not having any distractions," she said. Ron looked at her like she was crazy while Hermione looked intrigued and only Harry had no reaction having long since come to the point of just accepting Ascella as she was.

As anticipated the door to her tower was fast shut, the chair having been not enough to keep it open. She loudly cursed the door knocker. She could've sworn it winked back at her. Luckily, she'd been able to get the riddle right but that was only because of the, The book of Common Wizards Riddles, book she'd checked out from the library a few weeks back and had been trying to memorize ever since.

At dinner that night, Ascella shocked her friends when she began stuffing her bag with as much food as she could carry - mostly non perishable items like hard bread, fruits and cheeses that she could refrigerate in her dorm with a simple spell.

"What?" she'd said upon finding them all staring at her like she was crazy, Ron even open mouthed with his fork stopped halfway to his mouth. "You don't want me to starve do you?" she said by way of explanation before flouncing off back to Ravenclaw tower where she proceeded to spend the next week leading up to Christmas engrossed in her research.

Ascella didn't leave the tower after that, asking for Harry to send food when he could but she did take the opportunity to spend some more time with Hermione - inviting her over to help with the difficult parts of the potion or to check a figure she had calculated. At the moment she was just trying to make the base potion not implement any changes but she did make note of the steps that could be toyed with to make the potion taste better without affecting the effect of the potion. She was adding to her and Meda's research as well and confirming or decrying their suppositions that were good or wrong as she went through the practical parts of actually brewing the potion.

Ascella didn't even emerge from her tower on Christmas day, having stayed up all night before in the common room working on the potion. In all honesty she had quite lost track of the time and what day it was so involved in her research was she. In fact she only realized it was Christmas at all when around noon Harry, Ron, and Hermione arrived to wish her a Happy Christmas and invite her down to Christmas dinner.

She declined going to dinner as she was at a stage in the potion where she couldn't leave it but she did take a break to open her presents from her three best mates.

Hermione had gotten her a book on techniques for better potions researching, which made Ascella light up. Harry got her a professional looking leather bound scientific journal that looked to cost quite a lot, for her to organize her Potions notes in as well as a year's subscription to Quidditch weekly, while Ron stuck with the customary chocolates and Zonko's joke products. She had then run to her dormitory to find the gift from Mrs. Weasley and she promptly pulled on this years Christmas sweater, a royal blue with an artful cursive AMB, her initials, on the front the A curling into the M, curling into the B each letter offset and down from the letter above.

Then her friends promising to bring her leftovers from the feast. To her surprise hours later it was only Harry and Ron that came to visit - only managing to get in because they knocked loudly on the door and shouted to Ascella to let them in.

They spent the rest of the evening laughing, eating sweets, and playing Exploding Snap while lounging in front of the roaring fire in the Ravenclaw Common room, the drapes pulled tight over the large windows and nestled next to the Christmas Tree, while Ascella took frequent dashes over to her potion. All in all the usually airy tower was quite cozy for a change.

It wasn't until Ascella finally dragged herself to bed once the potion was set to simmer for 12 hours, that she realized she hadn't opened any of her other presents. Most of them were the usual knick knacks from her friends - Padma even having still gotten her something - and the usual family gifts from Ted, Meda and Dora, including the somehow still warm Monkey Bread, but there was one present in particular that stood out from all the rest.

The package was a small silver wrapped box, no bigger than a deck of cards. It was so small in fact that she had almost missed it in the explosion of wrappings that littered her bed after having opened the rest of her gifts. Picking it up she searched for a card, knocking over the pile of caramels from Terry onto the floor. She couldn't find one so shrugging she used a finger to dislodge the tape and tear off the pretty silver wrappings. The box was a jewelry box - Ascella recognized though she had never been given jewelry before. Perplexed at who would send her jewelry - she wasn't known for wearing any - she opened the box. And her heart stopped at what she saw.

It was a sturdy galleon sized silver locket, on a smooth silver chain. And while it wasn't new it was clearly well loved and taken care of, no tarnishing of the worn silver. She reached out a finger to gingerly slide under the locket using her thumb to glide gently over the top. To her surprise the oval face opened to reveal photos within.

Ascella gasped aloud and pulled the locket from the box to look closer at it. Surely not - but there it was. The photos on each side were still moving photos but they were also cycling through a medley of photos, changing every few seconds and in all of them was the same smiling beautiful blond - Ascella's mother.

In the photos her mother was anywhere from a gangly eleven year old, her arm around a boy with messy black hair that was surely James Potter, to the beautiful woman Ascella had recently begun to find in the photos Harry had found for her and the ones Flitwick provided. And Ascella devoured and cherished seeing each and every one the way a starved man may covet freshly found food.

And then in one of the photos was a man she didn't recognize, though there was only one person it could possibly be. He had silky black hair, a full and handsome face, not shrunken and sallow as she had grown accustomed to thinking of it. He wore a look of adoring love and happiness on his face, his arms wrapped around her mother who was holding a babe that could only be her as they both looked down on her.

It was the gray eyes that confirmed who it was - Sirius Black. Her father. She felt a strong desire to fling the necklace from her hand across the room. But she didn't. The more she watched as the series of photos changed, more of them featuring her parents, and then started anew the more she wanted to clutch the necklace close to her and to believe in the fantasy of a happy story it told. For in looking at these photos she could lose herself in a dream and let herself imagine for a moment a world where this family loved each other very much - a world where her father wasn't a madman, where her mother was still alive and where the babe, her, had grown up with the love of two parents.

She felt the tears drop from her chin onto her hands before she realized she was crying. Seeing them she knew she didn't want to be alone anymore and clutching the necklace in a tight fist and tucking that fist against her breast she made on stocking clad feet for Gryffindor and Harry's bed.

Harry, best friend that he was, didn't question her arrival, simply moving over and tossing her the extra pillow he kept for her use.

Wordlessly, she handed him the necklace, still open to the flashing photographs. Harry silently watched it before looking up at her and pulling her to his side, his arm around her shoulders. She buried her nose in his side and let the silent tears free - even as she hated herself for showing such weakness.

"Who's it from?" Harry finally broke the silence to whisper.

"Dunno," Ascella mumbled her voice hoarse and scratchy. Then more silence.

"Would you think I was mad to want to wear it?" she asked. She couldn't - no didn't - want to explain why. She felt Harry take a deep breath and sigh.

"No," he breathed, rubbing her back. "There is nothing but love in this necklace. Whoever sent it knew that. You would be mad to not wear it."

Ascella pulled back to look at her friend, before sharing a watery smile with him. She sniffed deeply and wiped her nose before turning round and pulling her hair back so Harry could put the necklace on her.

Once done, she fingered the heavy silver oval, unused to the weight of something hanging from her neck but she quickly decided she quite liked this weight. She fell asleep that night with a smile on her lips. And for once no nightmares did she have.

The rest of break found Ascella back to her work in Ravenclaw tower, the only change to her behavior was that she now caught herself fingering the necklace at that hit at her breastbone, fingering it when she was thinking or bored. She had been wearing it less than a week but she already felt as though she'd always had it and didn't know what she'd do without it.

To her surprise Hermione found her way to Ascella more often than not in the last week before break ended. Ascella didn't mind as her bushy haired friend was either a help or stayed out of the way as she worked on her own homework. Ascella didn't see much of Harry or Ron as Hermione kept her well supplied in food and she was nearing the end of the potion which needed constant attention in the end days so she didn't leave her home tower at all.

It was this reason that kept her uninformed of the fight that had developed between the boys and Hermione. In fact it wasn't until she arrived in Gryffindor Tower the day before term was to resume to announce that she had successfully brewed the potion and had achieved very good research when she finally noticed that instead of sitting next to Harry and Ron by the fire Hermione was off at a corner table her nose buried in a pile of books, not looking their way.

It soon became rather clear that the boys were in a fight with the Gryffindor bookworm. Ascella had - not knowing any better - gone over and dragged the girl with her out the portrait hole and down to lunch with them. It was then that at the glares both boys sent her way that Ascella finally heard what had happened on Christmas day. All about how Harry had been anonymously sent a Firebolt (here Ascella had been appropriately in awe and wanted to see it) only for McGonagall to arrive after dinner to say she needed to see it and "strip it down."

"But it's just a broomstick?" Ascella said but the resulting glares from the boys silenced her. "Oy, don't drag me into this! I didn't even know it had happened. 'Mione why did you tell McGonagall?" Ascella said turning to the girl.

Here Hermione had flushed pink and mumbled about how she thought - and how McGonagall agreed - that the broom had likely been sent by Sirius Black. Ascella bristled at this, irrationally offended. While the rational part of her could see where Hermione was coming from and that by thinking that way about Black, didn't mean Hermione thought any differently about her but she didn't care. Instead of being understanding and taking Hermione's side or even trying to remain neutral Ascella felt a sneer grace her face, her lip curling as she squared off on Hermione.

"Oh yeah 'cause Black could just walk into Quality Quidditch Supplies and purchase the most expensive broom of the lot, which he then jinxes or curses only to send it as a gift to Harry for Christmas is that it?" she began hotly, gray eyes flashing dangerously, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She ignored the way Hermione's bottom lip was beginning to tremble and continued with her ribbing. "Madman or not - I think there are more than a few flaws in that logic."

"But - but who else would have sent it to him?" the girl pleaded. Ascella's cold glare was her only response.

"Ascella," Harry warned, stepping in before Ascella could say something really cutting but Hermione beat her to it.

"Fine!" she said, tears welling in her eyes. "Take their side. I knew you would." And then she was gone.

The rest of them continued on to the Great Hall in silence, Ascella still seething inside and Harry knowing better than to try and talk to her about it. In truth she wasn't sure exactly why she was so angry with Hermione. Just that she was sick of hearing how much of a madman and danger her father was to her best mate's life and she had taken that frustration out on Hermione. It wasn't her fault but there it was. Maybe Meda and Ted were right, McGonagall and Hagrid too, she had a darkness within her - one that she most have gotten from her father. She felt sick at the thought but like hell she was going to apologize, anger still flashing whenever she thought of it.

And so it was that they found themselves arriving into January and the new term down a friend. So far third year was turning out to be their worst yet.


a/n: Hey, hope you enjoyed! By the way if anyone wants to be a beta or knows a good beta let me know because I re-read some of my older chappie's and am quite amazed you lot have followed and/or sent me nice reviews cause damn! There are some silly, silly mistakes that I can't believe I didn't catch! I would like to be an author one day so give me constructive criticism and/or encouragement to keep writing! And I love and appreciate everything you lot send in. :)

And for those of you who can't wait for Ascella to first see Sirius - well it's coming up! ;)

Also for those of you who've expressed concern and/or guesses on any of the ships well let me just say this: Keep reading and enjoy the ride cause, after all, to quote Shakespeare, "The course of true love never did run smooth." :)