It has been a year since it happened.
A full year has passed since the worst night of my life.
I found myself in front of the one bedroom in my house that has been empty since that night.
My knees began to shake as I put my hand on the doorknob.
"This will only make it worse," I whispered to myself in the dark hallway as I slowly opened the door.
My heart sank into my chest as I realized that this room has remained the exact same since the last time I entered it- completely untouched.
I half expected my mom to be reading on our bed while my dad was watching whatever sports game was on.
Slowly I approached their bed and climbed under the covers desperately trying to forget my reality, but I couldn't.
They are gone and I will never see them again.
Tears began to leak from my eyes as I picked up a picture frame next to their bed.
It was a family photo from a trip we took a couple spring breaks ago.
I began to trace my mom's long chestnut hair that looks so similar to mine, and my dad's big brown eyes that are almost identical to Jeremy's.
I hugged the picture to my chest as quiet sobs began to escape my lips.
I stuck my face into their pillow so Jeremy would not hear me as my cries became harsher.
The grief, and sorrow, and pain all became too much.
It rapidly began to consume me, but as my sobs grew stronger I felt two gentle hands lifting me out of their bed.
"Stefan?" I croaked out as I buried my face into his chest.
"Shh I'm right here Elena, I've got you, I'm here" he whispered pain lacing his voice.
He carried me in his arms back to my room securing my trembling body in his embrace.
I clung onto him for dear life, because without his presence I know I would fall apart.
Without breaking contact he laid down in bed next to me as I curled up as close as I could to him.
"What can I do?" he asked me, desperation filling his features.
"J-Just h-hold me," I barely got out before more sobs escaped my lips.
Automatically his arms tightened around me as he stroked the back of my head soothingly.
I could feel his lips delicately brushing the top of my head and I just leaned into his embrace soaking up all the comfort it offered.
"I've got you Lena, let it all out," he murmured soothingly into my hair.
"I miss them so much Stefan, it hurts," I whimpered into his chest.
"I know baby, I know," is all he said as he continued to stroke my back.
I continued to cry until nothing came out and the only thing keeping me from going over the edge was him.
His gentle words and caresses slowly began to coax me back to reality, where the pain became bearable because he was there with me.
"I love you so much," he cooed as his fingertips continued to outline my skin.
No words could come out of my mouth so I just nuzzled my head closer into his chest.
I stayed like this, engulfed in Stefan's arms, for what could have been hours.
Focusing on his steady breaths, or his hands running softly through my hair helped me not give into the darkness.
I have never felt more safe and loved than I did in this very moment.
His mere presence was enough to keep the pain from taking over.
Finally my eyes shut, and my breathing became even with his, although just as sleep was about to take over an awful thought ran through my mind.
What if I lost him too?
What would I do?
No, I wouldn't be able to survive.
This thought created a sudden sadness that took over everything in me.
I tried to contain it, but I couldn't.
A tear left my eye and fell onto his chest immediately causing him to tense underneath me.
"Elena?" he whispered concern coloring his voice.
He desperately tried to look at me, but I turned my face away hiding the pathetic stream of tears leaking from my eyes.
"Please look at me," he pleaded as he gently cradled my face in his hands.
Slowly I turned my head around to look at him, ashamed of the tears running down my cheeks.
I could see the intensity change in his soft green eyes as he took in my tear- stricken face.
He gently brought his hands to my cheeks, wiping away the tears.
"Talk to me Elena, please," he pleaded as his eyes searched mine.
I leaned into him as I tried to regain enough control to speak.
"It's just. I've lost so much Stefan. And… and if I lose you too I- I don't think I could… Stefan I couldn't… I- I," sobs began to escape my lips before I could even finish my sentence.
"Hey, no no no no no," he shushed me gently, "No sweetheart, don't think like that. Come here," he said softly into my hair.
As my cries increased, I could feel Stefan's arms tighten around me radiating so much warmth and love.
"I am not going anywhere Lena, I won't let you lose anyone else," he promised, and I believed him.
My breathing began to even out as I laid against his chest as my eyes became heavy with sleep.
Everything began to slow down and sleep began to take over before I could faintly hear Stefan's voice.
"I wish I could take this all away," he said in a voice as low as a whisper.
I soon realized that he thought I was asleep.
"I wish I could take away your pain… it just isn't fair that you have to go through this," he said as I felt a tear drop fall on my hair.
"I promise you Lena, no matter what you will always have me… I love you," he barely got out as more tears escaped his eyes.
As I began to lose consciousness again, I faintly squeezed his hand a little tighter, acknowledging that I heard him.
His love for me surrounded my being and seeped it's way into my heart.
As my thoughts became incoherent, everything around me felt like him.
Stefan Salvatore was my whole world, and in his embrace I felt so safe and loved.
