Disclaimer: Should I really do this every fic or no? Can someone tell me?

Uh, trigger warning for mentions of self harm, but nothing too strong, so I think you're safe3 Feedback is appreciated!


Stretching, Morty stifled a yawn and climbed down the stairs, still in his boxers for some reason. "Morning." He grumpily greeted before sitting behind the breakfast table.

"You slept in today, son?" Jerry chirped, cheery as ever as he poured honey over his pancakes.

Morty pursed his lips to avoid snapping out. "It's a Saturday, dad. It's not called sleeping in if-if no one's telling you when to wake up." It sounded sharp at the end.

"Damn. Grandpa Rick hasn't come back yet?" Summer muttered indifferently, not looking up from her phone.

"Fuck him, Summer!" He did snap this time. "Fuck grandpa Rick! N-not everything has to be about him, y-y-y'know!"

Beth sighed. "Morty, I know you two had a fight before he left- I could hear it from upstairs. But I'm sure he'll come back-"

"I don't care if he comes back or not." Morty spit out, taking a perfectly cooked disk of fluffiness with unnecessary violence, slamming it on his plate.

"Whatever you say." Summer said sarcastically, being ignored by everyone else.

"Fine, we'll stop talking about Rick." His mother calmly stated. "What are you planning to do today-all of you?"

"Hanging out with Grace and her friends- she's got super popular friends. I'm going to get them to hang with me instead." Summer announced with boredom, continuing to scroll down on her mobile screen.

Jerry hummed in encouragement. "As long as it's not sci-fi, I'll take it! I'm gonna-"

His wife cut him off, looking at Morty expectantly. "What about you, sweetie? Have any plans?"

Blinking, the boy fidgeted in his seat. "Um, well, not really..."

"Great." She blurted loudly, leaning over the table with tense wide eyes. "Please get rid of the cat in the garage."

A frown clouded his expression. "A... cat?"

"Is it a talking cat?" Jerry asked dumbly.

Summer rolled her eyes. "Dad, oh my god. What kind of question is that?"

"It's a good question, Summer." Morty glared at his sister. "I'd be surprised if it didn't talk at this point in this family. For all we know, it could be Rick."

"I think I'd know if my father turned himself into a feline." Beth raised an eyebrow. "No it doesn't talk, it doesn't have a unibrow or blue fur. I think the weather's just turned a little cold outside and it found shelter in the garage. The door was open a few days ago, but I just can't kick it out."

"Fine." Morty mumbled moodily, taking a bite off his pancake. "I'll zap it after breakfast."

"You can't zap it!" The blonde suddenly exploded. "God, I thought you wanted to be less like Rick!"

Morty's next bite froze mid air at the sentence. An awkward silence hung in the air. Everyone heard the exchanged words that night Rick and Morty fought. Everyone knew that was a low blow. "I'll kick it out." The teen finally murmured, staring at his plate. No one said anything afterwards.

About an hour later, the house was empty. It was just Morty and himself and he wanted to do nothing but sink back into the comforts of his bed and blankets. But deciding he should complete the task his mother gave him first, he headed to the garage with slumped shoulders.

He'd been avoiding the garage those couple of days, not wanting the good memories to pop up. Rick wasn't good, and Morty didn't want to fall under the delusion that he was. After all, he was bred for forgiveness, right?

Turning the door handle, he was presented with the sight of a grey ball of fur on his grandfather's workbench. Eyes widening, he stepped forward in frustrated and misplaced anger. "Alright, listen here you piece of-" He stopped in his tracks when the feline turned to look at him.

It didn't look like a stray cat. A well groomed Persian cat with a clean pretty face. It's big wide blue eyes stared at Morty in surprise, body tensing. And it was so... damn fluffy.

Anger forgotten, Morty practically melted at the sight of the beautiful creature. "Oh my god, you're so cute!" He cooed, approaching the workbench. The cat didn't seem to be afraid of him, only curious. "You can't tell me you don't have an owner." His smile turned into a frown as he checked for a collar.

"Huh, nothing... Well, you can't stay here, buddy, I gotta kick you out." Rolling his eyes, he cautiously reached out a hand.

The grey feline sniffed the hand thoroughly, eyeing it intensely when it was done. Weren't cats supposed to lean toward the hand or draw away from it after said action?

Quite sure that the animal was far from being afraid of Morty, the teen picked it up and held it in his arms, keeping contact with those beautiful blue orbs. For a moment he swore it looked something akin to uncomfortable, but it quickly disappeared and the cat readjusted itself in his arms until it fit there perfectly.

Morty was feeling his heart melt at the soft furred creature that rested in his embrace. He'd always wanted to have a cat, but his mother only allowed him a dog-hence his previous ownership of Snuffles.

Biting his lip, he took one last look at the adorable feline and reached for his phone with his free hand.

"...Uh, Mom?... Y-yeah, it's me. Listen, um... okay, have you seen this cat?"


Getting to keep the cat- surprisingly- was the easy part.

Beth had mostly insisted that since Morty was the only one who wanted the animal, he'd have had to be responsible for it.

If that meant shopping for cat food and litter while his new pet sat in the shopping cart watching everything, he had no problem with responsibilities.

"Hey, uh, cat." Morty cleared his throat and it turned to look at him, face as blank as a cat could get. "I should probably give you a name too, r-right?" It meowed something. He couldn't tell what message it carried, but it probably was nothing, since that was what earth animals were like, he reminded himself. "Um, I-I-I've been told I choose horrible names, but uh..." Narrowing his eyes, he racked his brain for a creative title. "...Jeez, I dunno. I-I really want to say Shadow, but you don't look too shady. Just, pure adorable." He smiled.

Garfield continued to stare at him, almost condescendingly. "...Fuck you, I'm naming you Shadow." He said defensively as he reached for his objective, putting it next to the cat. "Jackass." Morty muttered under his breath, already having had enough of condescension and other kinds of bullcrap. He would not take it from a cat.

It gave him another look before curling around himself and closing its blue loveable eyes. Annoyance completely gone, Morty smiled at his pet, Shadow. It was a shitty name, but he got himself into it, so might as well stick with it.


"...Does it have to be at the dinner table?" Beth broke the strange silence enveloping the dining room.

Morty cast the grey furred animal in his lap a glance, then looked back at the weirded out blonde. "Um, it's not like he's on the table, mom." He shrugged, holding a piece of chicken to it, which he gladly attacked. "There won't be any hair in the food, I-I-I promise."

"Whatever helps with the breakup." Summer popped her mouth, smirking at him tauntingly.

Morty glared back. "Do you do anything beside making wiseass snarky comments that you think make you look cooler?" Summer closed her mouth with a shrug. "It's not a fucking breakup, it's a divorce."

"Jesus..." Jerry mumbled under his breath.

"Breakups are a routine." Morty ignored him, grumbling. "I don't wanna see his ugly ass face ever aga- Ow!" He hissed in pain as Shadow bit his finger. "The fuck is wrong with you? I wanted to shoot you with a plasma pistol at first, just so you know." He scolded with a scowl.

He expected the cat to be even more pissed off from the yelling, but its eyes widened and it withdrew itself into a curled ball, hiding his face.

A pang of shame and regret hit him. "Aw, jeez. I'm sorry, Shadow-"

"Shadow?" His sister echoed incredulously.

"I shouldn't lash out on you. C'mon, man. Show me your pretty face-" He couldn't help but coo as he caressed the fur on its head to back in gentle strokes.

Garfield actually squirmed, letting out a miserable sound. With raised eyebrows, Morty held up his hands in surrender and it quickly jumped off his lap, shuddering as he did so. Morty scrunched up his nose in dismay. "Motherfucker- that's rude, y'know." It didn't look back this time, heading towards the kitchen.

"You need more cats." Summer concluded. "Many, many more."

Giving her one last glare, Morty stood up. "I'll go get him." He sighed. "If you need me, I-I-I'll be in my room."

Looking back meant seeing pity on his family members' faces, so he moved forward, eye searching for a grey ball of fluff. So it didn't enjoy much physical contact and preferred to chill by his side. Morty wasn't picky, he could work with that.

He frowned, hearing a noise from the half open door to the garage. "Fuck- not again." Striding over to the abandoned room, he found Shadow struggling on Rick's blueprints and pawing at a piece of metal. "Goddamit!" It froze from the outburst and Morty used that opportunity to pick it up harshly, making his way upstairs.

Halfway through the silence, the cat let out a questioning meow. "You're grounded." Morty said firmly. "I'm spending the day in my room either way, now you-you have to stay there with me."

He shook his head with a sigh as he opened his door. "Seriously, why do you like the garage so much? I keep trying to avoid it and you drag me back there." Falling down on his bed, it blinked at him owlishly. "Wha- what?! I don't want to think of my grandpa, okay? Fuck Rick!"

Shadow meowed, louder than the ones before. "S-shut up-! Fuck you too!" He nearly shouted, then realize he did it and groaned into his pillow. "Either you're a very shitty cat, or I'm just feeling like an asshole today- ugh, whatever."

Sitting up, he took a box of razors and some healing cream from behind his pillow, setting it in front of him. He needed to do this, he inhaled. He rolled up his left sleeve, but before he could pick a sharp piece of metal, his cat hissed loudly, somehow having made its way up the bed and next to him.

Morty slightly jumped, already frustrated. "Jesus Christ- what is it now? Can't you see I'm busy here?" He snarled, trying to shoo it away, but it moved and struggled until it reached Morty's lap. Rolling his eyes, Morty made another attempt to reach the box, but Shadow attacked his bared forearm, making him recoil. "You seriously can't take a little blood? I thought you were a stray. Besides, you a fucking cat. Deal with it!"

Shadow growled and pawed the offending box, pushing it until it fell off the bed and the pieces scattered across the floor.

The teen wanted to be angry, but was already aware that injuring himself was no way to reach any goal, and he meant any. He just needed a reminder sometimes. How ironic that his savior-in some way- was a stubborn-ass feline.

So pursing his lips, he slumped against the wall, eyeing the mess on the floor. Embarrassed with the way the cat looked at him, he slowly rolled down his sleeve, avoiding its crystal blue eyes. "Y-y-you wouldn't get it. I... I have to hurt someone-anyone-everyone!" It felt strange saying it aloud. Strange, but relieving.

"I'm some sort of a monster, I guess. When... Rick doesn't take me on adventures... it- builds up and I-I-I wanna kill." He whispered, horror seeping into his voice. "He called it 'suppressed rage' or something. I don't think I'm safe for this planet, Shadow." He confessed, hiding his face in his palms. "I try to keep it to myself- I-I- Summer's wrong. I don't miss the adventures... I need them." He choked out before leaning down to pick the pieces up.

Scoffing when Shadow hissed again, Morty swatted him away. "Relax. I'm just cleaning your mess. Mom would flip her shit if she found out I cut so I don't kill."

The answer seemed to satisfy it as it sat back and watched him work. Once done, he shoved it all back under his pillow, returning the cat's glare. "You don't control my life, dammit. You're supposed to be my pet."

With that, he let his head hit the softness of his pillow, groaning. "If you needed the litter box, it's in that corner." He pointed, hoping his pet would understand. It appeared to be quite smart. "Thanks to you dipshit, I won't be able to sleep. Like last night and the night before." With that, he let his eyes slip closed, knowing he couldn't get a wink of sleep.

Soundlessly, tears began running down his face and to the sides. He cried, but didn't have the energy to give its reason much thought or sob. He sighed.

Morty jolted at the sensation of his face being tickled. Blinking, he saw Shadow leaning its head over his, intensely staring at him with those big beautiful orbs. Its white whiskers very lightly stroked his cheeks, making his muscles twitch in reaction.

Giving an exasperated sigh, he ran both hands through his hair. "I don't understand your deal. A-a-are you hungry? Cause I just fed you. Thirsty? I put water for you. You clearly don't like to be petted and-" He was cut off as the feline leaned his head toward the hand of Morty's that hung frozen in the air, rubbing against it. "Oh." Morty sniffed and blinked, slowly stroking its head.

Shadow then sat on his chest, nuzzling his face. "Aw!" It inevitably brought a smile to Morty's face, making him chuckle as he scratched behind the cat's small ears, resulting in a heartfelt purr. Unexpectedly it froze...tensing?

"Are you okay, Shadow?" Morty frowned in concern. In the short time he'd spent with this animal, he'd grown impossibly attached to and fond of it.

Its eyes closed and it remained motionless and Morty continued to mindlessly scratch its ears. A low pleading noise escaped its throat, but it made no move to swat Morty's hand away.

Morty's eyes lit up in realization. "You little fucking- no need to be shy now! It's part of your ins-tincts..." He broke out laughing. "Jesus Christ, you are so charming, aren't you?"

The poor cat only buried its face in the fabric of Morty's shirt. It growled something out and Morty really wanted to know what, but only grinned wider and kissed the top of its head. "You're such a precious little thing..." He whispered in a tired coo. "The best thing that's happened to me in years..."

The cat finally raised its head, curiously craning its neck at Morty. "Yeah, don't doubt that. I wanted to stay in today, but maybe we'll go out tomorrow if you're not gonna run away from me. I don't want to put a leash on you anyway, so we'll just go out and see. I really hope you stay with me, Shadow." He admitted truthfully, turning to the side so the cat fell from his chest onto his right arm.

No appearing bothered by the act, Shadow cozied up to the arm and closed its eyes.


"No- no, mom. For a walk. I took my cat for a walk..." Morty nearly shouted into his phone as he walked under the trees, his grey cat catching up by his side. "I know I don't have a- mom, he doesn't need a leash, it's... he doesn't need one! He's just following me around for some reason... I'll be back soon, okay? Yeah, yeah, love you too." He let the phone slip into his pocket, brightening again when he looked at his pet. "You having fun there, Shadow?"

It meowed, nothing enthusiastic, which meant he was looking for something or was hinting at him to understand something else. He'd gotten the hang of the cat language pretty fast, though when he did a bit of research, that wasn't quite the definition of cat language. Apparently regular cats were very much dumber than Shadow. Even if Shadow was from another planet or something, he wouldn't mind at all. The fact that he'd chosen Morty and didn't flee at the sight of freedom was enough.

He watched in amusement as the determined cat crouched low and deep, saving up energy before leaping up onto a park bench, looking at him expectantly. Morty nodded and sat down as well.

"You're too smart for an Earth cat." He observed, smirking when Shadow's ears perked up at that. "What you are- I don't give a single fuck. As long as you're here." He scratched behind its ears. After a few more times, Shadow didn't mind the pets- welcomed them even. So it leaned into his touch and lightly purred.

"I wish..." He trailed off, unsure if he wanted to share his thoughts with his new pet. "I wish I could..." Looking over to the feline, it was calmly looking at him, waiting for the words to come. "Hate Rick." He exhaled. The cat craned its neck, blinking. "I know, I know. It's a stupid thought, but it'd make things easier." He started to swing his legs from the bench.

"I wish I'd stop... trying to, get his approval and all that, because all he does with that is use it against me. To-to do his stupid chores." He spat out in a moment of anger, but it faded quickly. "Everyone's like, he's an asshole but deep down he cares so let's not reject him, blah, blah, blah... But sometimes it doesn't feel like he cares." His expression hardened. "At least about me. All I ever wanted was to be helpful. He doesn't think I am, he doesn't tell me how to be, doesn't even give me a chance to prove myself!"

He flailed his arms around. "He hurts me a-a-and I can deal with that alone! Hell, I've been hurt by people since I was born- but there has to be something for me to hold onto, right?" He asked in a near sob from Shadow, who'd stilled completely, intense eyes wide. "There's nothing! The only thing I ever got was this voice in my head that tells me to kill! And I know Rick would laugh at me if I told him about it- he doesn't take any of the problems he's given me seriously-" Morty shook his head, shakily gasping in a breath.

"It's logical that I should hate him and I wish that I did, but I-I-I'm so pathetically clinging to the fact that he's human that I just- just can't." He ran his hands down his face in frustration. "No one gets it. Even I don't get it. I just want to die. The end!" With a deep inhale, he looked back at Shadow.

"Jeez, di-di-did I scare you buddy? I'm just a little angry these days." He smiled, softly and apologetically before reaching out to it.

But the cat jumped out of its shock, landing on the ground. It gave him a wide eyed look before taking off.

Morty sighed, hurt, but he didn't know what to expect. But Shadow stopped a few feet ahead, looking at him expectantly.

Morty's eyes enlarged as he ran after the cat. It wanted him to follow it. He dodged people, cars, traffic and police officers, but none of it mattered to him at that moment, because Shadow was fast and he was not losing him.

In confusion, the running feline led them back to the house. Before Morty could say anything though, he ran into the garage. Suppressing a groan, he walked inside, panting.

The grey furred cat was on the blueprints again, growling at the metal cubes once more. Too tired to do anything, Morty sat down behind the bench, watching it fume.

Shadow's claws were showing, but it made no attempt to rip the papers to shreds. It desperately tried to get a hold of the pencil with his paws, which Morty snorted to. "Pal, you can't write. Your cute paws can't hold a pencil, dummy."

The cat froze, then jumped down from the bench and made its way to the door instead, pawing on it for Morty to open. The teen couldn't do anything but comply, helplessly watching the agile animal run up the stairs. He greeted his family distractedly before climbing up after his cat.

In his room, Shadow was walking in circles around his laptop, pacing in frustration. It meowed when it spotted its owner, pawing at the device.

"No." Morty hissed. "If you want to stay here, you gotta listen to me from time to time. This, is time. I really have to clear out some 'suppressed rage' at the moment-"

"Meow!" It growled and jumped on the bed, guarding the pillow.

Morty's eyes widened. "You are definitely not a regular cat." He concluded. It stared at him, clearly not able to do anything else.

A horrid thought struck him and he knelt in front of the bed, staring into Shadow's wide eyes. "Can you blink to confirm something for me?" It didn't blink, frozen and blank. "Right, you are a regular-"

"Meow!" It slapped him across the cheek, and it was so soft it made Morty want to crack up.

He bit his lip to stop a smirk from forming. It soon died. "W-wait..." Those wide orbs. Overly familiar, crystal blue eyes...

Morty jolted back, falling on his ass as his eyebrows shot up high. "Ho-ly fu-! Rick?!"

Shadow- or just cat Rick started meowing right ahead. If Morty wanted to translate it into human language it'd be: Yeah, took you long enough, you lil' bitch. Do you know how long I've been putting up with this useless cat body? And other complaints about life as a cat and how stupid Morty had been.

"Jeez, calm your ass down." Recovering from his shock, Morty narrowed his eyes. Then it hit him why Rick wanted his laptop, so he reached out and unlocked it, setting it in front of the cat.

Cat Rick, now looking calmer, started typing sloppily on the laptop as Morty watched from over its head, curious and amused.

I TURLNED MYSELF INTO A CAT MORTY IM CAT RIIIBNCK

"Yeah, no shit." Morty huffed. Rick typed some more, unable to express many emotions as a feline.

I HAVE A SYRINGE THAT TRNS MT BAVK ITS IN SOMEWHERE I CSNT REACH

"A... syringe. Of course you do. W-where is is? Is it in the garage?" Morty trued to hold a serious look, but every time his eyes went to the paws on the keyboard, a laugh threatened to bubble up.

Cat Rick meowed in confirmation, then jumped down the bed, to the garage Morty assumed, following him.

In the way Beth's questioning look stopped him. "What's with you visiting the garage so much?"

"Rick turned himself into a cat that can't talk." Morty deadpanned, proceeding his steps.

"For God's sake." He heard his mother mutter before he went in Rick's garage, finding him on the workbench.

He looked at Morty and meowed toward a few pieces of metal that were to be used later for making his gadgets.

Morty frowned, but snorted once found an orange syringe on top of the tallest cube of metal. Somewhere the cat couldn't reach. Picking it up, he inspected the shiny liquid for a moment too long.

The cat hissed in impatience and Morty snapped back into reality. "Right, Rick. S-sorry." But before he injected the animal with it, he allowed himself one last look at his perfect companion for the past day. He should've known it was too good to be true.

His hand automatically went to pet him, the cat hissing and recoiling. "Oh, please." Morty rolled his eyes, scratching behind his ears. "We've been over this."

He felt Rick glaring daggers at him from behind those feline eyes and it made him smirk. "Come on, Rick. A little smile won't kill you. Oh, wait. You can't smile- a little purr never killed anyone, right?" He snickered as Rick slapped him again and he drew back. "Alright-alright. Here." Morty injected the cat's neck with the syringe.

As Rick turned into human form- it was a much slower process this time- Morty collected some clothes for him to wear. By the time he was back, Rick was groaning, face down to the floor and well, naked.

The sight of the human made Morty's heart clench with hurt, reminding him of the fight. After all, it was the first time since then that Morty'd seen him. "Here." Enthusiasm dropping, he threw the clothes at the old man and turned to leave.

"Morty, wait!" Rick coughed out.

Body tense, Morty turned around, expectant.

Rick looked hesitant. "Do you... still, wanna get a divorce?" He joked.

Morty frowned. "...yes." He half lied.

The genius blinked, not expecting the answer to be that blunt. "Right."

Thinking their conversation was over, Morty made his way to leave again.

"Morty!"

Gritting his teeth, the quiet teen turned around once again. "Yes?"

"Where are you going?" Rick squinted his eyes, the tone of his question casual.

"My room?" He shrugged, confused.

"To do what?" Rick persisted.

"Jesus Christ, I don't know yet!" Morty became defensive. "The hell do you care?"

"Release of suppressed rage?" He narrowed his eyes, starting to stand up.

An expression of horrid realization dawned on him. "Y-y-you heard all that?"

Rick sighed, picking up his pants to wear. "Morty, cats have advanced hearing. I heard everything- and I mean everything as long as I was anywhere near the house."

"Right." Morty's every word since finding the cat played back in his head. God, when he vented to the cat...

"So, I think we need to talk." The blue haired man announced.

"You're gonna tell me that you were right and I was wrong." Morty huffed. "I've heard all of it before."

"The fuck? No, I don't mean the argument- that'll resolve on its own. I meant the killing thing, Morty." He clarified, face casual.

Morty winced. "W-what about it? I-I mean everything's cool. I'll deal with it. I mean, you're like this too, right? So-so it-it's normal." He finished off with a nervous chuckle, but Rick didn't look amused.

"No." Rick stared at him intently, almost looking like his cat form. "I'm not like this, buddy. Never-never have been." Morty gulped, cold dread washing over his blood. "A-at least not like that."

Feeling numb, Morty stared at his trembling hands. "I-I-I never wanted to tell you."

"Big mistake." But the tone of the voice was soft.

"I'm a-a-a monster, Rick!" He sobbed into his hands.

"Oh, quit being such a fucking baby." Rick scolded, walking over to him. "You'll be fine!"

"No I won't!" He cried, welcoming the arms that enveloped him. "I-it-it's fucking disgusting a-and I like the taste of blood too!"

The old man rubbed his back reassuringly. "That's just-I think you should just take a blood test for that one. You-you're not a vampire or anything. Just-just iron deficiency anemia, Morty. I repeat, you are not a fucking vampire, Morty."

"How can you stand to hug me?" Morty sniffed. "Everything about a warm human body feels sick to me. I shouldn't be able to hear blood pumping in people's veins and it shouldn't be so tempting-" A hard slap to his face stopped his ramble. He frowned, holding a hand to his burning cheek. "Ow?"

"Sorry, Morty." Rick didn't look apologetic in the slightest. "You just weren't gonna shut up soon. What I was about to tell you before you rudely interrupted with your stupid panicking was that you're not the problem."

"Meaning?" Morty asked in bemusement.

He could see the moment Rick went into condescending mode. "It's a condition that comes from excessive exposure to lutetium sulfide."

"That shit in Birdworld mines?" The teen exclaimed in shock.

"Violent thoughts and destructive behavior." Rick started naming with boredom. "Self destructive in your case. The thing that makes it stand out from just homicidal rage is that in lutetium sulfide poisoning you think about murdering literally everyone- your mom even. I assume that's why you've been trying so hard to suppress it with self harm?"

With an inaudible grumble, Morty nodded. "Tha-we were there like, five weeks ago? Damn, Morty. I admire your self control!" He whistled. "Very noble of you, but I'll let you know injuring yourself doesn't do jack shit for you- you-you should've just told me."

"Is-is there a cure or something?" Morty cringed, trying to take in the information.

"Are you kidding me? BP says it's like catching the flu on their planet. It's a poisoning- you can flush it out like that-" He snapped his fingers. "I can make it right here too."

"That's be, um, great." Confused, Morty took a deep breath, only hoping Rick was right. "So, I don't have violent and homicidal tendencies?"

Rick stilled, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. "Morty, you've had the disease for just five weeks. Are you seriously telling me before that you've never enjoyed a good bloodshed every once in a while?"

Speechless, Morty glared. "... Fuck you."

He cackled, shaking his head. "That's what I thought. Now, bear with yourself for some more until I make a serum. Right now I am starving. Why didn't you feed me today, Morty?" He had the audacity to glare at an already glaring Morty.

"I always put out cat food for you!" Morty defended, crossing his arms as they headed inside the house.

Rick shrugged on his labcoat, looking annoyed. "Well, if you haven't figured it out already, Morty, I'm not a fucking cat."

"Clearly, I didn't know that or you would've been human then." Morty shot back. "And apparently you were too focused on pretending to not dig being petted to consider doing all this shit back then when I found you!"

"It was cat instincts!" Rick yelled out, defending himself.

"Yes, I fucking know that!" Morty yelled back.

"For your information," He huffed. "I couldn't do jack shit when you found me. I barely had any control over those stupid cute paws. My mind was screaming at me to lick myself because I got some dirt in my fur and all I knew after I woke up was that the usual headache wasn't there and Beth was hitting me with a broom."

Morty cracked up over that. "You turned yourself into a cat when you were drunk?"

"And it was so shittily improvised comparing to my pickle project." Rick sighed.

"That wasn't a project." Morty reminded him dryly.

"For that I had time to modify the DNA of the pickle I was turning into so I could at least talk. This? This was a fucking bullshitting hell."

"So you suddenly realized you could type at the park?"

"Don't be stupid, Morty. I kept flexing my muscles the entire time and that was when I could finally do shit with my right paw."

"Your 'paw', oh my god." Morty snickered.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up." Rick rolled his eyes, but looked like he was suppressing a smile of his own. "Now where are the leftovers?" He rubbed his palms together as they reached the kitchen.

Summer was leaning against the counters there. "Mom told us the news. Sounded like fun, grandpa Rick." She snorted.

"Yeah, fuck you, Summer." He burped before opening the fridge door.

"Hey, Rick." Summer called after a few minutes of Morty explaining the situation, as if an idea struck her. "If you seriously did all this shit after a blackout, then how are you so sure there are no side effects?" She pointed out. "Like, from being a cat- how are you sure the serum was perfect?"

Rick appeared to contemplate that for a moment. "Well, my nosey youngling, if you must know... the answer is I'm not." He pulled out some wafer cookies from the cupboard.

"What?" Morty frowned, voicing Summer's thoughts.

"I'm not sure if there's any side effect. If any shows up, I'll take care of it. Duh." Rick explained like it was obvious. "I mean, I hope not? Genetics is a bitch and a half to fuck with."

"Can I... try something?" Morty mused, hesitant but knowing.

"I don't like the look on your face, dipshit." Rick frowned, but didn't turn his idea down. Perhaps the cat's curiosity had stayed on him.

The teen made his way across the kitchen as the other two family members regarded him curiously, motioning for Rick to lean down when he reached him. His grandfather complied, not without an eye roll and Morty slowly reached a hand to the man's hair.

"You're fucking with me, right?" Rick asked incredulously once he realized what Morty was testing.

Morty didn't answer, petting the blue locks of hair while Summer clutched her sides with laughter. Just when he was about to give up, pulling away and sheepishly brushing the matter off, Rick tensed, his face twisting in a pouting grimace.

"Holy. Shit." A wide smirk split across Morty's features. "Can you purr too?"

Abruptly Rick drew back, harshly slapping the hand away with a scoff. "Fuck off! Apparently I have about eight chromosomes to check if they even fucking exist."

"Relax." Summer drawled mockingly. "Surrender to mother nature, Rick."

"This is humiliating." Rick muttered evenly, putting a wafer cookie in his mouth.

"I didn't try your ears yet, Rick." Morty teased. "You loooved getting scratches there!"

"I will burn you." Rick said with the same monotone, mouth full.

"Right." He snorted, snatching a cookie from his hand, earning a glare.

"See you bitches later." Summer mumbled, staring at her phone. "I have some shit to deal with."

"If I could talk back then, I'd tell you your plan with your school friends was fucking absurd, but alas, I was a cat!" Rick's voice gradually rose as Summer hurried away. "Have fun, dumbass!"

"And stop eating my cookies." He hissed as he held the box outside Morty's reach. "Y'know, you reeally liked having a cat around to yell at."

"Yeah, because it couldn't talk back at me." Morty grumbled in annoyance. "That was of course, if it was a real cat."

"Why though?" He casually questioned. "Why not pick fights with people?"

"Because I always lose and you know that." The boy gritted his teeth.

"You lose 'til you win." Rick shrugged. "You can yell with me anytime."

Morty raised his eyebrows. "You mean yell at you."

"With me, at me- what's the difference?" He flashed the teen a smirk. "I mean, you gotta save the marriage, right?" He nudged his shoulder playfully, winking. "Gotta hang on tight, buddy. Open-open communication."

The brunet scoffed. "And what's your solution to getting a good night's sleep?"

"If I had any, I'd save my own ass first." Rick growled in frustration. "Can't sleep? Join the club-literally. We'll bitch about insomnia together. I'm-I'm here for you buddy."

Morty swallowed the tightness in his throat from the sincere offer. "Do you feel guilty or something, Rick?"

"Uh, shut up?" He said in a questioning tone.

"Good enough." A small grateful tugged on the corner of his lips. "Thanks, Rick. And if-if you make me that serum soon, I can give a more extended thank you speech-"

"Please don't." They shared a smile.

They spent a moment in pleasant and comfortable silence.

"...But you gotta admit I was right-"

"Yeah, you'd fucking love that, wouldn't you, you fucking piece of utter garbage person?!"


Good ol' Rick n Morty.