McGee sighed heavily which Tony took absolutely no notice of. He was too busy spinning aimlessly in his chair. Seemingly aimlessly, mind you. He was really thinking and thinking really hard by the way. He had to, just had to. This whole thing needed figured out. He could do this; he was an investigator for crying out loud! A damn good one too. Discovering motives and backgrounds was what he did. What he was good at. Excellent, even. But they were getting off track. They had to figure this out. It was extremely infuriating; he didn't know what was going on. He didn't like it.
Tony DiNozzo did not do well with not knowing things, okay? Some called it nosy but he called it prepared. And being prepared was an excellent state to be in. Wasn't the Boy Scout motto 'Always be Prepared'? McGee should be falling over to help him.
McGee sighed helplessly across from him. Tony had stopped him from getting lunch and apparently, he wasn't happy about it. He didn't need to huff; Tony had said they could go as soon as they figured this out. You'd think that would be some sort of incentive. Tony shook his head. Honestly, good help was so hard to find these days.
"Maybe we could trick her, lure her in and get her to sing accidentally..." He finally said.
May as well get the ball rolling. It didn't look like McGee was going to offer anything any time soon.
"Who sings accidentally unless you're in a Disney movie?" Tim shook his head at his co-worker. "And do you really think attempting to trick Ziva is a good idea?"
McGee looked more than a bit distressed at the thought. Tony scoffed. His partner wasn't that terrifying. Ok, maybe she was. But you had to have some guts. And be around plenty of witnesses.
"She's not infallible, McGee."
The computer expert didn't look entirely convinced. That was fine, Tony could work with that. He wasn't entirely convinced either. Maybe between the two of them they'd have enough belief for one of them to think they could do this.
"We just need to think of a fool-proof plan. It will have to work, then," Tony added.
"That's what 'fool-proof' means," McGee pointed out with a long-suffering sigh. "And you need to come up with a plan. I want no part of this."
Tony ignored him. It was a remarkably easy thing to do when nothing from his mouth was helping Tony in any way.
"What about a team karaoke night? She'd have to sing then. It's basically required."
McGee shot that one down easily. "Wasn't that the excuse you used with her in the first place? Also, I am not singing karaoke."
"You gotta take one for the team, McTone-Deaf," Tony told him.
"I won't have to because Ziva already refused."
McGee sounded far too smug about that. Hmm, a karaoke night was definitely going to be in his future, Ziva or no Ziva. Preferably on a night with plenty of Disney songs. Anyway, he was getting side-tracked. Back to business.
"If we all want to go do a karaoke she'll have to come along. Peer pressure and all that."
And there was the sceptical look.
"It's fool-proof, McGee!" He added with a grin.
"Enough with the 'fool-proof'," McGee complained. "Especially when it's obviously not."
"How is it not? Of course, it will work!"
Ok, Tony wasn't completely sure that it will work but it might! McGoo should never question his greatness! Hadn't he been proven wrong often enough?
"At least three reasons, though I'm sure there are more," McGee stated, holding up one figure. "One, I'm pretty sure 'peer pressure' is harassment of some sort."
"It's not like we're trying to do anything bad!"
He was ignored as McGee continued, "Two, do you really think Ziva would give into peer pressure?"
"Well, no, but-"
"And three, even if Ziva could be pressured into it, which is wrong, do you really think you can get us all to do karaoke?"
Tony felt completely insulted by the last implication. "Of course."
McGee's eyebrow went up. "Even Gibbs?"
His stomach sank at that. He didn't think that anyone could get Gibbs to even set foot in a karaoke bar. Ever. It just wasn't a thing to be even considered. The very idea was so ludicrous that it was funny. Still depressingly impossible but still funny. If Gibbs went then Ziva would definitely have to go. The boss man would practically order her to come. It would be great, there would be no direct Tony interaction required. He remained uninjured, Ziva would sing, everybody won. His inner celebration slowed to a halt at the enormity of the task ahead of him. Almost harder than getting his partner to sing. Then a smile spread across his face. Well, there was one person. McGee looked at him warily. The smile fell off his face almost as soon as it formed. Dammit, Abby wasn't helping him anymore!
"We just need a really good plan," Tony tried to tempt his friend. "I'm sure that between the two of us we can do it."
McGee remained unconvinced.
"I really don't want to be involved in this," he said firmly.
Tony ignored him.
"Of course, you're involved in this," he told him dismissively.
"I am not."
"You are."
"I'm not."
"You've been brainstorming with me," Tony pointed out.
"Telling you that none of your ideas would work is not brainstorming with you," McGee argued.
"Sure, it is! It's all a part of the collaboration process."
McGee made an exasperated noise.
"Of course, it would be better if you were a little more positive," Tony continued.
"The only reason why I'm not being more positive is because none of your ideas are going to work!"
"Ha! You were thinking about them! That means you want to figure out why Ziva won't sing as well!"
McGee gaped at him as Tony looked at him smugly. Ha! Now he had to help properly.
"So, come one. Give me some ideas."
"What? No!" McGee spluttered. "I'm not helping you!"
Tony pouted at the younger man. "You could at least tell me how I could improve them."
"I refuse to give you any ideas and be implicated in this nonsense," McGee said firmly.
"You wouldn't be implicated in anything."
McGee gave Tony an 'Are-you-kidding-me' look.
"I would and because I actually value my life I am refusing to."
"I value my life too!"
That got him yet another exasperated look. McGee really was getting good at those.
"You are trying to trick Ziva into doing something she doesn't want to do. I really don't consider that 'valuing your own life'."
McGee was just being too dramatic now. He had no faith in his and Tony's abilities at all. See what he meant by good help being hard to find? He wasn't even getting average help here, never mind good.
"I really need to talk to Abby," he announced, giving McGee a dirty look. "At least she would help me."
Maybe that would make McGee help. If he wasn't the only person that Tony was roping into something he was usually a lot more willing. Hmm, there's an idea. Maybe he could use Palmer as well. He was always eager to be included...
Rather than look insulted or annoyed, McGee actually looked relieved. The traitor.
"Good!" he said thankfully, standing up from his chair and grabbing his bag. "I don't know why you didn't in the first place. She's usually all for your schemes."
Tony narrowed his eyes at his co-worker but didn't say anything. He didn't want to tell McGee that Abby now refused to help him after talking to Ziva. He suspected that his partner had actually told Abby why she wouldn't sing but Abby wasn't spilling so he couldn't be sure. Which was not fair. He was her partner. He had a right to know these sorts of things.
McGee tilted his head and looked at him curiously. Tony turned his narrowed eyes into a glare. Suddenly, McGee's face broke into a smile.
"She won't help you!" he crowed, laughing. "You've already asked her!"
"Have not," Tony stubbornly lied.
"You have," McGee insisted, looking far too smug. "I'm definitely not helping you now."
"Why not?" Tony demanded, outraged. What happened to always having each other's six?
"If Abby doesn't think it's a good idea, then it definitely isn't a good idea."
Tony really had nothing to say to that. Anything that came out of his mouth would be a lie. McGee rolled his eyes at him and shuffled his papers together before standing up from his desk. He patted his back pocket and slipped his phone into his jacket.
"Where are you going?" Tony demanded as McGee turned away from him and the bull pen.
"Lunch!" he returned, not looking back.
Oh. Tony looked down at his stomach which helpfully rumbled. He jumped out of his seat and ran to catch up.
"Wait for me!"
