Tags: Very Emotional, Lots of crying, Love confessions, internalized homophobia, Co-dependency, abandonment issues, past trauma, emotional repression, depression, emotional breakdown, mental health issues, and emotional instability

A/N: Title Named after Can't fight this feeling by REO Speedwagon. This is part two of my series named Tribulations.

Michael and Trevor were in Trevor's old beat-up truck. The year is 1989 and Michael was driving them to a motel to lay low.

They were listening to their favorite rock radio in silence when Can't fight this feeling by REO Speedwagon comes on. Michael grips the steering wheel harder than necessary.

I can't fight this feeling any longer

And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow

Michael grips the wheel and bites his lower lip. It feels like his stomach has dropped out of his ass. Michael tries to fight off his anxiety and focus on driving. He's not a afraid of anything.

He doesn't like to admit defeat or feelings or anything like that.

Why is this song affecting him so much? It just came on!

Micahel thinks to himself,'I'm not afraid of anything...I don't feel anything...''

Trevor shifts uncomfortably next to him and Michael works hard not to look at him.

What started out as friendship, has grown stronger

I only wish I had the strength to let it show

Michael wants to change the fucking station!

He can't bring himself to do it because his heart is fluttering due to the beautiful notes in the song. As the song dips his heart does as well.

Michael and Trevor have an unspoken rule of not talking about what they get up to late at night.

Michael reminds himself that they are friends and nothing more.

Nothing gay.

Nothing gay at all.

Michaels not afraid.

And he is strong! He wants to change the station so badly. He lets out a long sigh through his nose as he focuses on weaving through traffic.

Where's a fucking motel!?

Michael has nothing to show! Why is this song making him so fluttery! He feels tears build in his eyes. He's feeling sentimental and hot and...and...fuck.

What is this feeling?

It's nothing!

Michael focuses on the road.

Trevor shifts again. '

Michael ignores him and tries to ignore the flutter in his heart.

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever

I said there is no reason for my fear

Michael's not scared! What is there to be afraid of!?

A tear escapes Michael's eye and he gasps in shock. What is he crying for? What's happening to him right now? He's trying his best not to look at Trevor. He doesn't want to look at the object of his affections right now.

He doesn't want to feel.

He doesn't want to deal with these feelings!

Michael quickly wipes away his tear and shakily says,''Uh...um...I need to stop at the gas station for a ginger ale...I'm not feelin' too hot right now...''

''Do you want me to drive?'' Trevor asks. His voice is deep and sultry, the same voice he uses when Michael is deep inside of him in the early hours of the morning.

''Y...yes...let me get to the gas s-tation f-first...'' Michael stutters out.

''You Okay M?'' Trevor asks.

Michael doesn't answer.

Cause I feel so secure when we're together

You give my life direction

You make everything so clear

Another tear escapes.

Is this love?

It's making him feel sick.

He wants to hold Trevor and protect him. He wants to be with him forever. He never wants this to end. Whatever this is.

Michael's head is spinning. His heart is fluttering gently he feels as though he's floating. He's never felt this weightless before.

He wants nothing but to bury himself against Trevor's chest and cry.

CRY!?

CRY!?

CRY!?

What? Is he gonna stop to pick up a box of Tampax next!?

Michael lets out another sigh he's sweating and shaking now.

Trevor puts a hand on his forehead,''You're burning up...Here, park on the side of the road and let me drive.''

And even as I wander

I'm keeping you in sight

You're a candle in the window

On a cold, dark winter's night

And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

It's wintertime now. The ground is covered in snow. It's absolutely beautiful. Michael loves when it snows. He pulls onto the side of the road and jumps out of the truck in a hurry. He gets into the passenger seat without a word. Michael can tell that Trevor is worried now. He tries his best to ignore it.

''You Okay Michael?''

''Just drive.'' Michael answers.

And I can't fight this feeling anymore

I've forgotten what I started fighting for

It's time to bring this ship into the shore

And throw away the oars, forever

Michael wished that Trevor ran him over with the truck.

What the fuck is this feeling?

Michael can't stop thinking of Trevor's smiles, his muscles, his humor, his quick wit, his voice, his...his everything...

Michael is in love...

He's in fucking love!

JESUS CHRIST!

Why!?

Why couldn't he fall for some big-breasted bimbo that works at Shoney's? Why Trevor of all people!?

Michael buries his face in his hands and fights off the oncoming tears.

He can't be queer! He can't be! He can't be! He can't be!

NO!

Anything but that!

Michael would give anything to be straight!

He feels a hand press on his back,''You okay man?''

''Just need to stop by the gas station,'' Michael mumbles through his hands.

Trevor pats his back,''Okay buddy.''

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore

I've forgotten what I started fighting for

And if I have to crawl upon the floor

Come crashing through your door

Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore

Michael trembles as he holds back his tears.

FUCK!

FUCK!

He wants to scream. He's feeling so many things at once. His feelings feel raw and torn apart. He needs to get away from Trevor for a bit.

Trevor makes him feel too many things that he just doesn't want to feel. There's too much to unpack with Trevor.

How does this man fuck him up like this?

Michael has never been in love like this in his entire life! Not like this! He's fucked around a lot but Trevor makes him feel feelings that no one else on this earth can!

When they pull up to the gas station Michael runs into the bathroom, locks the door, collapses in on himself, and sobs until he no longer can.

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you

I've been running round in circles in my mind

And it always seems that I'm following you, boy

Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find

Michael loses himself in his emotions completely he doesn't know how long he's been sobbing and he feels like he going to throw up from how intense his sobs are. The sobs rip from his throat in a way that shakes him to his core.

He never thought that he'd fall for someone like Trevor. He can't imagine his life without him.

After a long while of crying he hears knocks at the door,''You okay in there?''

Trevor sounds worried and Michael feels guilty.

''I'm fine! I'll be out in a bit!''

Trevor makes a sound that tells Michael that he doesn't believe a word he said. After a while, Michael comes out and gets a few snacks. Trevor looks him up and down,''Your eyes are bloodshot...''

Michael shakes his head and avoids him.

Trevor touches his back gently before pulling away as though he changed his mind. Michael buys a ginger ale and some snacks before getting into the car again.

He curls up in the passenger seat and falls asleep.

Trevor wakes him up when they get to the motel.

Trevor looks worried and sad,''You keep everything bottled up so much...do you not trust me? I trust you...''

Michael shrinks in on himself. He feels even guiltier than before. He shakes his head,''It's nothing T.''

Trevor growls,''No! It's something! Michael, you were crying for forty fucking minutes! What's wrong?''

Michael shakes his head.

Trevor looks like he's on the verge of tears,''I hate when you hide things from me...I would never hide things from you...''

''I just need to lay down T...that's all.'' Michael lies.

Trevor lets the topic go and Michael goes to lay down.

After an hour of tossing and turning Michael sits up and starts crying again. Trevor cooes and wraps his arms around him,''What's wrong baby?''

Michael sobs,''I...I love you.''

And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight

You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night

And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

Trevor's jaw drops. A few tears escape his eyes and he whispers,''I can't fight this feeling any longer. And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow...''

Michael shakes his head,''Shut up! It's not that!''

''It is that...''Trevor whispers,''I love you too Michael...so much that it fucking hurts...''

''It hurts you too...? I thought something was wrong with me...'' Michael says.

''True love doesn't hurt...it's more of a pang...a longing...fuck...sometimes it hurts I guess...'' Trevor begins to sob as well. They both embrace each other.

''T...I'm scared...I'm so scared...'' Michael exclaims.

''Me too...I've never loved someone as much as I love you...I'm terrified...'' Trevor admits.

Michael grips Trevor tighter,''Never leave me...please? I would fucking die inside if you ever left me!''

''Me too!'' Trevor sobs.

''Fuck!'' Michael exclaims,''I don't know what's gotten into me! Promise to stay by my side! It's me and you against the world Trevor! Us against the world! Forever!''

''Trevor and Mikey forever!'' Trevor cheers loudly before tackling Michael with a tight hug.

Michael laughs and repeats,''Trevor and Mikey forever...''