Hello there, people of the internet, I am not the GamingLemon, and this is a fanfiction you're reading for whatever reason. A long time ago, I was obsessed with the Loud House. I mean, like, REALLY obsessed. Not because I watched the show (as a matter of fact, I've still seen very little of the show), but because I saw fanart, and read fanfics online. This was the first fandom where I actually read fanfiction for it, and a lot of them are still, to this day, some of my favorite stories ever. Not just as fanfics, but as stories in general. I had dozens of ideas for stories about the loud siblings and their many mis-adventures, but I never wrote any. I was busy with school, and just with being a kid in general, and also pretty lazy. Honestly, I'm not sure why I loved the loud house so much, I guess the fanfics I've read were just that good, haha.
Well, there is one that I have written, and it's this one, but I never published, nor even finished it, until now. If there are people who want to see more of this story unfold, then I might consider making this a bi-weekly thing. I'm not as busy as I used to be, and there's a part of me that really wants to write this story. So if you guys are interested, then I'll do it, and if not, oh well, I tried. Really the only reason I decided to finish is because I felt like I had to. I don't mind not making it a full thing, but it feels wrong just leaving it unfinished, y'know?
So the basic premise of this story is obviously laid out in this little "Pilot" chapter, but to give you the basic "vibe" that this story is trying to go for, well, it's sort of like underfell, I guess(if you guys remember that), but the main difference is instead of where it was the entire underground all edgy and what-not, it's just the loud siblings. They (more or less) hate each other, the parents are largely absent, and it's pretty edgy. So after you read the pilot, let me know if you're interested, and I may keep going. And like I said, if you don't, then cool :) Oh and feel free to leave any criticism, even if I don't do anything with this, I still appreciate hearing other people's thoughts, and I do like poking fun at things when it's warranted(myself included). I don't mind criticism.
OH! By the way, in case you're wondering, yes, I rewrote this chapter. I really don't like certain parts about it, so I edited some parts. Don't worry, I didn't 'change' much, all I really did was flesh out some dialogue and make certain parts longer, refined some scenes etc.
DISCLAIMER:
I don't own the loud house, it belongs to nickelodeon and viacom.
Also, this story may contain words such as "FUCK" and dirty jokes.
You have been warned.
CHAPTER 1: "PILOT"
The episode starts out in the room of our protagonist, Linky. Or Lincoln. He prefers Lincoln. If you call him "Linky", he will kick your shins in. His room is… rather normal, to be honest. Not much different from the actual show. The only noticeable difference is the fact that his room is slightly less organized, a bit messier, and Lincoln himself. He still wears his signature orange polo, but it's sleeves are slightly torn, like lunas, but he still has sleeves. He's wearing a gray zipperless sweater around his neck, sort of like a scarf. His jeans have holes at the knees, and his hair is a bit messy, with little stray strands just sticking out randomly. And in his mouth lies one golden canine, his top-right one. The camera is, currently, in his possession. Through the camera, we see him trying to put in the wall. With a screwdriver.
"Come on…. just a little bit - DAMMIT" He yells, attempting to screw it into the wall via screwdriver, only to have it droop downwards. His voice is slightly raspy. The screen beeps, flashes white, then shows him slowly taking his hands off and away from the camera. "Yes, yes, just a little-" He gets cut off as the camera falls off the wall."UUUuuuuggghhh…." he groans. The camera again beeps, flashes white, and now the camera is looking at him from a top-down perspective. He's about to smash it into the wall. With one mighty swing, he BASHES the camera into the wall, and it's perfect. Perfect position, angle, everything. He can talk without the damn thing falling, finally.
"Ok, ok… is it good? Yeah, yeah it's good." he says. "Alright, let's get one thing clear and out of the way," He says as he walks over to his desk. He picks up a photo frame from his desk, and holds it for the audience to see. A photo of him and some of his sisters, all of them in the same, gray uniform, smiling. They look younger in the picture than they actually are. "See this picture? You see how everyone here looks all happy and whatnot? You see how everyone in this picture looks like one, big, happy family?" He asked, putting emphasis on the word happy. "WeII I'm gonna tell you right now… it's a complete LIE." He chucks the photo (frame included) at the wall, causing the frame to crack and some very small shards of glass to litter the floor. "That picture, that family you saw in that picture, is LYING. My family is not like that. Not now, not then, not ever. And to prove it…" He walks over to the door and grabs the doorknob. "You can look for yourself." He opens the door, and on the other side lies a hallway. A hallway full of his sisters. It's chaos. No, it's worse than chaos. It's HELL.
The twins were caught in a fight cloud at the end of the hallway, their shouts of anger drowned in the ocean of noise that composed the hallway in its entirety."Lana, stop leaving your gross animals and junk on MY side of the room!" Lola yelled. "How about you quit throwing all of it away then!" Lana Yelled back. The twins look pretty different from the way they do in the show. Lola doesn't wear her signature dress, rather, she's got a pink, oversized t-shirt covered in glitter as well as a frilly skirt that reaches down below her knees. A few tears are present here and there, as well as a few scars, but she's not as beat up as the rest of them. And yes, she still has her little tiara. Lana, on the other hand, is quite worse for wear. Her hat, overalls, shirt and shoes are in terrible condition, all sorts of tears and holes present, and her hair was a complete mess. Torn clothes and having scars and such are about to be a recurring theme with these characters, so for future reference let's just assume that they all have an equal amount of torn clothing and scars between them.
The twins' little fight cloud managed to find it's way back into their room, but not before almost brushing the leg of their older sister as they made their way back. "What do you mean 'you can't do that'!? It's your FUCKIN' JOB, YOU WORK THERE, YOU CAN DO THAT!" Yelled Lori, at someone. ON her phone. Probably her boyfriend. Her attire, like lincolns, is very similar to the show, just add jeans, a leather jacket and some boots and call it a day. She then proceeds to walk into her room and slam the door shut behind her. Leni was kicked out of the room before the door was shut, and Lori had, quite literally, used her foot to kick her sister out of the room, leaving her sister on the floor. She looks nearly identical to her show appearance, just give her a LOAD of bandages and you're basically good to go. There's a bandage on her head, angled, one on her left forearm and hand with holes for the fingers, and an ice pack…. Basically duck-taped to her head for her black eye. Yowch. She got up, dusted herself off, and went downstairs with a look of stress written all over her. Her posture, her expression, the way she walked, all of it just screaming stress.
"Hey Lynn, come here, I wanna show you somethin'!" Said luna. This Lunas taste in clothing is very different from the luna in the show. Other than her shirt being a deep purple with an alien skull on the front, she's wearing jeans with holes at the knees, along with a spiked collar and spiked bracelets…. And a belt! With spikes! And spiked BOOOOTS(wow)! And to top it all off,. "What?" Lynn replied in an irked tone. Luna let out a guitar riff, and it threw Lynn down the stairs, hitting most of the steps at least once on her tumble down. Oh, right, her clothes, It's more or less the same as Lynn from the show, just clothing with a few tears and holes, covered in dirt and grass stains. With the exception of Leni, she's probably the most damaged sibling. Physically at least. She's got a lot of scars, bruises, bandages and the sort. Though, like I said earlier about Luna, not to Leni's extent, but she's pretty close to Leni in that regard, not gonna Lie.
"What the hell was that for!?" She screamed, rubbing her back in pain. Luna didn't have time to respond, before she was tackled by her sister, creating a fight cloud that went inside Luna's room and shut the door behind them. Luan and Lucy both saw the fiasco unfold, and they found their debacle rather amusing. Well, Luan did, anyway. "That escalated quickly," Muttered lucy. Lucy isn't much different from the show, just a little bit more beat up. "You could say that again. Hey, I bet if it happened on an escalator, then it would've escalated twice as fast!" Luan replied. Her attire is a little more interesting than Lucy's. Luan's sporting a black hoodie with a large toothy grin going across its stomach area, and she's also got some black fingerless gloves. She also doesn't have any braces, and as such, her teeth are slightly more crooked than the show. Not way crooked, but still crooked by a pretty noticeable amount.
Lucy didn't respond to luans closest attempt she's had to a joke all week, rather, she just walked back to her room. "What? Was that not funny or somethin'?" Luan said as she watched Lucy walk away. "Alright fine, have it your way…" a spring shot from under the floor-board and sent Lucy careening into the ceiling, leaving a nice hole into the attic. "I just hope your 'ceiling' better next time I see you." Luan chuckled at her little joke and started heading downstairs, probably off to nap on the couch seeing as how her room is 'occupied' at the moment. When she first started pulling pranks they always got some attention from her siblings, regardless of who was the one that got pranked. But nowadays, the pranks luan pulled hardly got much of a reaction out of her siblings, unless they were the one who got pranked.
A large explosion was heard from one of the rooms down at the end of the hallway, causing the door to swing open violently which in turn caused a large amount of smoke to pour out of her room. Lisa stumbled out the doorway, covered in ash. Her glasses were slightly cracked, and she wore a small, custom made lab coat that fit her almost perfectly. It was half-hazardly stitched together, Lisa isn't great in the clothing department, but it managed to weather any explosion Lisa somehow managed to subject it to. "Blast this confounded experiment! I should've known adding hydro-sulfuric acid to the nitron-tank was a bad idea." Lisa let out a very gravely sigh. Pretty soon, all of her siblings began to stampede towards her room."Son of a bitch…" she muttered, rubbing her face and pinching the bridge of her nose. She knew what was about to happen. Soon enough, the hallway was filled to the brim with concerned, worried, angry and scared voices. It may seem a little odd that they'd act like this, considering Lisa's done this on a near daily basis, but Lisa wasn't the reason why the rest of the loud siblings had gathered around her room for what was probably the thousandth time.
"My loathsome siblings, could you all stop talking all at once for just a few minutes and tell me what is it THIS time that has gotten all of your cerebral cortex's in constrictor knots!?" She shouted. "Where's Lily, and Is she alright?" Lincoln said bluntly. "She is, as always, inside the safety chamber I constructed for her 5 months, 4 weeks, 3 days, 17 hours, and 32 minutes ago. And, as always, she is perfectly fine. Neither she nor her chamber have sustained any damage, and are both very operational." She said. Since Lisa and Lily share a room, the other siblings are always paranoid that one of these days, Lily could get hurt, or worse. None of them really like the idea of them being together, but none of the other siblings have any space for Lily in any of their rooms, so they just tolerate the idea of Lisa and Lily sharing a room and keep an eye on them whenever they can.
"Well? Where is she?" Lincoln asked. Lisa scoffs, heads back into her room and moments later she comes back out with a large yellow and black metal container with a large door on the front. On the door was a large window, and inside was Lily. She sat inside comfortably, acting as if nothing was at all wrong. The loud siblings all let out a collective sigh before turning their attention back to their hyper-intelligent sister. "What is it with you and explosions, and why hasn't the house been completely demolished because of them yet? Honestly, I'm kinda surprised…" Luan chuckled. "Yeah! And they cover everything in ash and make such a big mess! You're almost as bad as Lana..." Lola stated. "Hey!" Lana snapped. "What? It's true." Lola deadpanned
"What about you Lisa, are you alright?" Asked Leni, as she bent down to get a better look at her younger sister. Lisa shoved away one of her hands. "Yes, I'm fine, I'm always fine, I don't need you to ask the same question over and over again, every single time my experiments end up exploding!" Said Lisa. "I'm just making sure nothing on you is broken is all! I don't want you ending up in the… in the um… the medicine place? What's it called again?" Leni asked.
"Hospital," Lisa replied, "It's called a hospital you flaxen halfwit." "Oh… right…" Leni muttered.
"Lisa, can you do literally anything that won't destroy your sister OR the house!? Jesus Christ, like, I swear one of these days you're going to have one of your experiments fail and take the whole house with you." Lori scolded. "Could you at least stick her somewhere else before you go ahead and almost kill youself?" "That is complete nonsense on your part, eldest sibling unit. My safety chamber is completely immune to any damage my experiments could ever cause." Lisa said smugly. Well, something close to smug, anyway. Her voice was so monotone it was hard for anybody to decipher what she was feeling, if anything. Lori just stared at her sibling for a few seconds, before saying "Good god whatever, I don't care how 'effective' you say your stupid safety-thing is. Literally everything you make ends up exploding, and I don't doubt that that giant death-trap you stuck our baby sister into won't at some point." The rest of her siblings nodded and uttered words of agreement with her statement, though none of them would ever admit it.
Lisa just shrugged. "Your irrational paranoia is your own problem, not mine." She said, as she walked back into her room with Lily and shut the door behind her. "Hey, what the hell is that supposed to mean? Lisa!" Lori said. "Lisa! Ugh, you little fuckin'... hmmmph…" Lori grumbled. She stomped away back to her room and slammed the door. The siblings stared at Lisa's door for a few seconds before heading back to whatever they were doing before.
The camera follows Lincoln back to his room, and once he shuts the door, he begins talking to the audience again. "And that was my family, for better or for worse," He says, "And do you see what I'm talking about? They're awful, every single one of them! Well, with the exception of Lily, and maybe Leni, but you get my point! I can't stand them half of the time! Hell, I'm surprised I can stand them at all!" He walked over to his drawer, and opened one up to reveal one a small journal titled "Lincoln's Guide to Surviving The Loud House" written in permanent marker. He grabbed it and showed it to the audience. "And that's why I have this," He said, gently tapping the front of the journal. "My survival journal. I've written down everything I know about my sisters. What they like, what they don't, what words I should use around them, their stats and strengths and all sorts of things!" He glances at the door for a moment, then turns his head back to the audience, "Listen, living in this awful place isn't easy, and I can't wait for the day when I grow up, finally move out and NEVER see them again! But, for right now, I need everything I've written down in this thing, because if I want to survive," he got closer to the camera, and said, in a quieter, sterner tone…
"I'm really gonna need it."
AUTHOR'S NOTE
HEY! Sorry for the delay, I was planning on rewriting this sooner, and also getting it done a lot quicker too, but there were some car problems that I had to get fixed before I could get back to this.
I was also hoping to have the next chapter at least almost done by now, but I haven't even started it yet! But I took some criticism to heart, and with the help of my friend as well, I rewrote this pilot chapter! I wanted to add some more 'character' to some of these characters, fixing some dialogue, making a few scenes a little longer, etc, and I hope I accomplished what I set out to do. Thank you guys for the reviews! I wasn't expecting any, really, and I appreciate what you had to say. Ignore the ones by 'BomberDude911", that's just my friend being stupid. I promise to have the next chapter out at least by the 10th of this month. See you guys then! Hopefully… Honestly I have no idea just pray to whatever deity you worship that I get something out by next week.
