Ai cries, her now bright smile was nonexistent in her early childhood. Ai weeps when her mother pushes her down the stairs, Ai's heart is full of anxiety when she and her mom run from the police again, Ai breaks down when mother blames her for failing to steal few packs of instant noodles.

Ai feels somewhat relieved when her mother doesn't come back, she doesn't cry, there's no more tears left.

There's no reason for it, many others are to fill the hole. She will smile humbly, starry eyes gleaming, when the fellow orphans fight amongst themselves, each asking her as their very best friend.

The bunk bed feels way better than her old, torn mattress which she shared with mom. Ai doesn't have even the slightest pain in her heart, not the least.

"Darling, darling, doesn't have a problem, lying to herself..."

It doesn't take too long for B-Komachi get somewhat popular because of her. Other members don't dare to show their jealousy, because their own success depends on Ai. She was able to make her fellow members smile, her new fans smile, and president Saitou happy. As more sales happen, more money flows in, everyone glows in happiness, so Ai also tells herself that maybe there is hope, overturning her life into something to be proud of.

She feels a somewhat connection to Saitou-san, perhaps, like an elder brother? No, adoptive father? It wouldn't be weird at all, he's her legal guardian on the paper, and bosses her around like his own daughter.

But it's not love, precisely, it's fear of complete abandonment. When she would start aging, he wouldn't abandon her.

It's alarming honestly how charming she can be. Fooling everyone, telling them she's having fun.

There's a weird feeling hidden up her throat when she sees families visit B-Komachi's concerts, enjoying themselves on the front row. She will adjust her facial expressions while spinning in a dance move, she will make sure her voice doesn't crack. When she shows her signature smile, the cheers are significantly louder. When you adjust to the loud music while performing on stage, fans screams don't catch you off guard as much.

She says, "You don't want to be like me Don't wanna see all the things I've seen" I'm dying, I'm dying. She says, "You don't want to get this way Famous and dumb at an early age" Lying, I'm lying.

When times were thougher, it was disgusting to sit outside a room which gave off disturbing noises, and a man handing her mother crumpled yen bills. Her mother was an average woman, Ai's beauty, along with shining eyes, comes from her now ex-husband. ..."Is that the reason why you despise me much"?

Ai hasn't even finished middle school, there's no time and she doesn't have the drive in herself to. Saitou-san plans to homeschool her, also lecturing on how a simple interaction with a guy can sparkle a controversy. It all only makes her sigh heavily. She doesn't want to think about what comes after the idol career fades away, she will focus on what is now.

There's a fluttering feeling inside of her, when she sees him, performing on stage, super immersed in his role. You won't approach him this time, you'll choose your pretty clothes, brush the bangs out of your eyes, and replace your usual grim expression to a flirty one. When he pulls you by the hand and gropes roughly through your new dress, you're sure, that this, is what lovers do in movies. As much as she would want to save this kind of thing for her wedding night, she doesn't dare to protest. She calms herself by chanting in her mind " We will be even more in love if I go along".

As an idol, meetings with your supposed boyfriend aren't harmful if no one knows about them right?... There's a special someone who won't snitch on her, as long as she models for his gigs. It's a great deal.

The boys, the girls, they all like Carmen, She gives them butterflies, bats her cartoon eyes.

Ai's rosy pink eyes have such pigment placement, that it makes them look like there is starlight in them. She will look at the close-up camera, bat her eyelashes and do a quick smile. It's a routine for Ai and the cameramen, and how tiringly mundane. This time it's different, because she feels like fainting, even almost throwing up at times. After the event is over, in the car ride, she decides to spill the news to president. He just stares blankly out of the window, with a pale face. In a long time, it fills her with uneasiness, but no matter what, she doesn't want to get rid of the growing life in her stomach.

She laughs like God, her mind's like a diamond Audio tune lies, she's still shining, like lightning.

The interviews aren't her strong side, but a lecture and countless rehearsals from president help a lot. After an exhausting day, Ai doesn't feel like going to practice anymore. Saitou-san lets her off the hook this time. All the big money comes from modelling, commercial gigs and brand deals. Surprisingly, her singing may not be very good, but it's decent enough to make it as an idol. It's not what her fans focus on, anyway. The fanatics bulk-buy B-Komachi's albums, hoping to get Ai-Chan's photocard.

"It's so ridiculous, but I'll make a bunch of money like this..." Is what she thinks while binge watching YourTube videos from fans, trying to distract her thoughts. Perhaps she'll go on a break soon, and after that, she'll work double, trying to earn money back.

Put your red dress on, put your lipstick on

Sing your song, song, now the camera's on

And you're alive again.

It's been a year already since Aqua and Ruby have been born. She adores them immensely, like two adorable kittens. He of course, chickened out and flied out of the country for a while. Ah, men, as expected. Her father did almost the same. Like mother, like daughter.

Even still, she feels exhausted. Often too exhausted to dance, to sing, to stand, to focus. It's planned for her to begin an acting career too...

She will drag her body from one location to another, and she won't shed a tear, because there's no better future for you .

There's a small chance you might learn how to love, even if the feeling creeps in your heart while you're on the brink of death. It makes your body and eyes warm, it makes your lips curl into a heartfelt smile. Your precious son panics, but you know, he'll be strong. You are calm when the next thing you see is a void, which seems to envelop you, robbing your eyes of their light.