Finally!
AN: episode quotes are in bold+italics. Episode titles and dates are in bold.
Disclaimer: I don't own That '70s Show
Do You Think It's Alright?
"I see you let the redhead go. I can't say I'm an expert on women, but I think you traded up," said Fenton to Eric.
All three of them then heard someone say, "Finally!" after which they turned to look to see one of their classmates from high school who hadn't really interacted with the Gang much. He had been in all the advanced classes and had been Eric's class Valedictorian.
"What?!" exclaimed Jackie indignantly. She had standards after all, and in her opinion the nerdy Eric Forman wasn't up to them.
"Fenton, is it?" the old classmate asked, to which Fenton nodded. "What? All I'm saying that you're right. Any idiot can see that the Pinciotti girl wants to get out of this craphole of a town so fast she'll undoubtedly leave a warp trail, and she's deluding herself if she says otherwise. Probably a result of the divorce. And your friend Hyde-the stoner hippie burnout with absentee parents, yeah, that's a real stable foundation for a relationship. Come on, he's practically the apprentice of Leo, and everyone knows, he's basically king of the hippies."
Both Eric and Jackie were in stunned shock as the he continued, "You two-you're both practically obsessed with being in a relationship-why try to force it on others? Look, there's nothing wrong with being in a relationship or going out to see the world or even, uggh… being a hippie burnout, but some goals just aren't compatible, so just be together dammit."
"But we hate each other!" said Eric.
"For stupid reasons. Ooooh, nerd versus cheerleader, grow up already. Supposedly you both want to get married after all," said the guy, who then left as quickly and quietly as he'd come.
"Wow…wanna just forget what just happened?" asked Eric.
Still in a state of shock, Jackie responded, "Sure," even though neither of them would. Looking back at the china and then at Eric, Jackie said, "I will lay out four possible choices. You will choose your favorite. I will then disregard that and choose the correct one."
That '70s Finale
December 31, 1979
Eric said, "Look, Donna…When I left, I was so positive that I was doing the right thing…but now I've been gone so long…"
Donna said, "Eric, things are a lot different now."
Eric said, "I know…it's just, Donna, I thought about you every day, and you know what, it turns out Red was right…I am a dumbass. Donna, I'm sorry."
Donna said, "I can't…We can't…"
Eric said sadly, "I know…I just wish things were different."
"So do I…but we can't go back…" replied Donna.
Both of them started tearing up.
From behind the house, they heard a certain high-pitched cheerleadery voice, which broke the tension, "What kind of girl do you think I am? We just started dating, you ass! We're through!" followed by a loud slap.
"Ayye!" they also heard in a familiar accented voice.
Jackie then walked around to the kitchen door in a huff and went inside without even glancing in the direction of the Cruiser.
"Wow," said Eric, "I guess some things haven't changed."
"Wait, Jackie…" exclaimed Fez, who also came around the house while pursuing Jackie and nursing his cheek. Eric looked on in shock as he thought that would never happen.
"And some things have," wistfully smiled Donna as she started to get up. "I guess I should get in there and talk to her before she kills him."
"If she does, try to get pictures…" Eric called after her.
"Shut up," said Donna playfully.
She then got off the Cruiser and walked inside. "That seemed final," said Eric to himself. They'd been through so much, and now, it seemed to be irrevocably over. Ultimately, he was okay with that because he'd had a considerable amount of time in Africa to reflect on their relationship and its flaws.
Eric remained lying on the Cruiser in silence for a couple minutes. "Brrr, this isn't Africa," he said to himself.
The sliding door again opened, and Jackie stormed out.
She looks ready to kill someone, thought Eric, who then sat up on the hood. It was then Jackie saw him. Eric waved as he said, "Hey," with the same trepidation as someone who'd been locked in a cage with a starving tiger. She was so angry he even refrained from making from making a "Devil" remark out of sheer self-preservation.
Without even acknowledging that this was the first time they'd seen each other in months, Jackie then walked up to the Cruiser and said, "Eric, your friend's an ass."
"No question," replied Eric as nonchalantly as possible. He sat up on the driver's side of the hood with his feet brushing the ground.
"What is it with you people?! Am I not a good girlfriend? I'm not just some object for you people to grope or have your way with…And then there's the cheating…And don't even get me started with the stri…"
Eric looked at her oddly, to which Jackie replied, "You weren't here-Steven drunkenly married a bleached-blonde Vegas stripper!"
"I know. Mom mentioned it in passing at the end of one of the tapes she sent, but no one would give me any details after…For what it's worth, I'm sorry."
"Thank you. In the past year, I lost Steven and Donna to that whore and lost the best job I've ever had because my boss was a bitch. Fez was supposed to be the perfect boyfriend, at least according to the list…"
"What list?" asked Eric.
Jackie replied, "A few weeks ago, I made list of the qualities of the perfect man-he should be a gentleman, have a great sense of humor, has to be interested in women's shoes, give me compliments, buys me presents, and he should come when I call him. I thought it was Fez, but now…"
Eric remembered his relationship with Donna and had the offhand thought That sounds more like me than Fez, a lot more, though he was able to keep his expression neutral (barely).
"I've dated the pretty-boy moron, the hippie-stoner-burnout, and the foreign lothario, and they…" said Jackie.
"I am so sorry," said Eric seriously, with genuine compassion-he was no stranger to being dumped on in a relationship after all.
Both of them heard the countdown to the New Year loudly from inside the house.
Remembering something she'd been told on that shopping trip, and combining it with the list, Jackie came to a realization, the same one Eric just had, made a decision, and said, "Screw it."
Eric asked, "What're you doing?"
Jackie said, "Testing a theory." She walked up close to Eric.
When the counting reached, "One!" Jackie threw her arms around Eric's neck and kissed him on the lips.
Hyde, Fez, Kelso, you really are dumbasses, thought Eric. Kiss her back, you idiot!
Eric kissed her back, and this lasted for a couple minutes before they broke apart.
"Wow," said Eric softly, and Jackie didn't say anything.
"Jackie Burkhart speechless, aren't I talented?!" mused Eric.
"Yeah, and if knowing Star Wars trivia was a career, you'd be a billionaire," quipped back Jackie with a smirk.
"Don't you know it!" smirked back Eric.
It was then they saw someone walking on the sidewalk-the same former classmate they saw on their shopping trip who'd said all those unforgettable things, who said, "Finally!" as he walked by, and Eric and Jackie shared a knowing look.
Five years later
It had been an eventful few years. Though Red and Kitty were pretty much the same, the Gang had separated-today was the first time they all had been back in Point Place in years. Kelso and Brooke had eloped after discovering out-of-wedlock pregnancy number two and were living happily in a Chicago suburb. Brooke was working as a librarian, and Kelso got a promotion at the Playboy Club after certain peepholes were discovered and Vic fired as a result. Apparently, he decided to go to New York City to be a cop in the aftermath. Fez had moved to California to do the stars' hair, and, according to him, was dating starlets all the time, not that the Gang believed him. Hyde was working for his father, going from town to town scouting for new Grooves locations-WB had bought the chain back for a song after the new owner's mismanagement nearly killed it. Bob Pinciotti was doing quite well both professionally (who knew bait shops were so lucrative?) and socially on Florida's east coast. Donna had gotten a degree in Journalism from Marquette and was a columnist for some magazine in New York City. Jackie had parlayed her public access experience into a gig on the local news, which was going well. As for Eric, he was pretty happy-he'd seen two Star Wars sequels, gotten his degree in teaching from UW, started working as an eighth grade teacher, and, oh, yeah, he was currently engaged to a beautiful former cheerleader. Well, for about the next two minutes…Fortunately, he'd again found a tux that gave him shoulders. The music began to play as Eric looked down the aisle to see the cute brunette walking towards him wearing a wedding dress. Their relationship had started just after his return from Africa, and it was the most stable and loving one either of them had ever had. Maybe he should've invited that old classmate as a thank you. Nahh. Jackie arrived at the podium where Eric, Hyde, Brooke, and the officiant were standing. Eric looked at her and saw the love in her eyes, which towered above what he and Donna had had. He knew that this would be the one.
"Finally," whispered Eric to himself with a smile.
AN: As for how the OC knows these things-it's a small town and people talk. Though this isn't the first T7S story I've written, it's the first one I'm publishing due to its brevity. Most of my other ideas are a lot longer, and I'm only going to publish completed stories.
