Chapter 43: Waking Up


My mussels felt stiff as I stretched fighting against lingering fatigue as my brain slowly meandered its way toward consciousness. My arms and legs felt heavy and my skin seemed to tingle. Tiredness hung on heavily as I fought to open my eyes and I couldn't deny the grogginess that clung to my brain as well as my body.

What happened? I wondered groggily.

Opening my eyes, I had to blink as I adjusted, I was glad not to be met with blinding white lights but instead the dim low lamp in the corner that still cast just enough light to lightly illuminate the room. The strong smell of antiseptic queued me instantly to my location. Antiseptic: clean, staril.

My first instinct was to hide. I knew instantly that being seen was bad. I should run, I should hide. But then I took notice of the warm blanket pulled over me. It wasn't a hospital sheet, it was a blanket. A very worn and obviously loved blanket.

I closed my eyes against the sudden shock as my brain fully woke up, registered and remembered.

A smile spread across my face.

I knew exactly where I was.

Antiseptic: sterile, clean. Not hospital. Lab. Donnies lab.

I pulled the blanket up to my face and smelled it. The wispy faint smell of incense hit my nose instantly, reminding me of my father. My Father. I ran my hand along the pizza stain made by Mikey, and smiled at the patch carefully made by Raph. This one item held so many memories. Pieces of a once foreign puzzle. Tears clouded my eyes, in relief. I could remember!

I could remember Donnie! I could remember my genius brother, whose kind heart and amazing brain had saved us in so many ways. In my mind's eye I could see his eyes light up when he smiled. I could remember his inventions, his crush on April, the way his face scrunched up when the gears of that genius mind of his were at work.

I could remember Mikey! I could remember all his crazy pranks and shenanigans. His silly recipes and incredibly sweet cooking. I could picture in my memory the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles and hear his laugh resonate in my ears like music.

I hug my blanket tighter, tears pooling in my eyes.

I could remember Raph. I could see his half grin as he challenged me to a fight. Remember the nights we would race across the rooftops, neck in neck, both of us ginning wildly in brotherly competition. I could remember our fights. I remember how he would push me to always be better. I remember his protectiveness and his fire. I remember our talks. The times when I would knock and he would open the door, and I would get to understand my little brother a little bit more.

I remember.

Tears pour down my face and I have to cover my mouth to hold back a sob. My chest swelling with too many emotions to even fathom.

Despite my tears, my grin spread wider as I let myself relish in these restored treasures. Feeling like I would burst with joy, I pulled out memory after memory from my heart, treasuring each one as a rare and valued gem.

I know my brothers have most likely been waiting for me to wake up and probably have left me only for a few minutes. Even knowing this in my heart, I just needed a moment of my own. A moment to explore, to make sure I remember everything! That not even a single moment has been lost or forgotten, they are all rare treasures, finer than gold. I also just need a moment to breathe.

I close my eyes centering myself and fighting to calm my pounding heart. For my few moments alone I explore my working memory, my miraculously restored gift. I let my mind drift back all the way to our childhood, reminiscing on memories of my father and sensei of my time with my brothers, the memories I hold of our good friends. Every memory that comes into my mind both good and bad, happy or sad, is treasured just the same.

My hands smooth down the wrinkles on the blanket covering me. I focus on the frayed edges of the worn but loved blanket, frayed on the edges but all in all still intact. I remember Baxter. I remembered the first time I woke up; in a hospital with a thin sheet not a blanket, my memory as blank as the bare hospital walls that had surrounded me.

I let out a long breath, my eyes drifting to my arm. My scaled green arm. A warm smile spreads across my face. I hold out my hands in front of me. Scars litter my arms and hands, my plastron is covered in scrapes and scars telling stories from the years past, stories of bravery and dedication. I marval in all that was restored, bits of memory and remembrance I didn't even recognize were missing. My throat tightens slightly as I take in the burn marks, they are much lighter now. In contrast to my lighter human skin, they are barely visible, just whisks of remembrance. The deeper, more obvious burns that used to run down my back and sides are hidden now under my strong shell, I can't even feel them and if it weren't for the memory of them, I wouldn't even know they were there. But I do remember them. Just as clearly as I remember everything. My mind is spinning. I remember everything. I remember my brothers, I remember my father, I remember April, and Casey and Karia. I also remember Baxter and our year as brothers. I remember it all.

"I told you Mikey, I don't know when he'll wake up! This is new territory, it takes time for both his mind and body to recover and heal. We just need to be patient, we can't rush these things.." Donnie's voice trails off as he opens the door to the lab, his brick brown eyes going wide. I turn to face the newcomers, internally I smirk at the expression on my brothers' face as he stands there frozen in the doorway with a tray in hand.

"Donnie move your shell" Raph bites out, before he freezes himself. "L..leo"

"Dude you're finally awake!" Mikey's the first to move as he bursts into the room.

Mikey's voice seems to wake me out of my stupor.

"Mikey" I hold my arms out wide, that's all the invitation my little brother needs.

"Leo!" Mikey squeezes me tighter. "Dude you have no idea how good it is to hear your voice!"

Returning the squeeze I shoot my other two frozen brothers a reassuring smile, understanding their apprehension and worry.

"Leo" Donnie breathes out in relief as he sets down the tray and rushes to my side and joins the hug.

I give my genius little brother a reassuring hug, before looking up and meeting a pair of apprehensive green eyes.

"It's okay Raph" I smile, "I remember"

"You do"

Tears cloud my eyes, "I do Raph I really do. I remember everything."

That's all it takes and I have all three of my younger brothers hugging me tight. Very squished and content, I hug them back just as fiercely. Smiling brightly with tears in my eyes, I hold close and dear what I never thought I'd have again.

I have been home for a while now, but for the first time I truly feel like I am fully back. I feel groggy, slightly overwhelmed and definitely squished but my heart and mind feel full and complete. I can finally remember those whom I love and miss. It is as though my two lives are being woven together, the tapestry of memory overwhelmed with color and detail but it's all mine. And it is much more welcome in comparison to the blank canvas that represents the last year of my life. No longer fighting to connect the dots of my forgotten past I sit back and bask in the familiarity of home and the comfort of my family.