The next part is long and contains some difficult and even shocking issues. I want to advise those who may be a little sensitive to some of the issues related below.
At last we had leave Manaan.
On our way to Korriban, the Ebon Hawk had been intercepted by Saul Karath's cruiser, the Leviathan. We agreed that Mission, who had slipped into one of the ship's air shafts in an effort to hide from patrols, would be responsible for freeing the crew. Bastila, Carth and I had been brought together in an interrogation room, while the rest of the crew had been kept in the cruiser's cells. Now we had to wait for Mission to come and free us all.
The atmosphere in this small room was oppressive. Carth, Bastila and I stood in our own individual cells, sealed by an energy barrier which was probably of an electrical nature, and which also appeared to inhibit our ability to use the Force. We were dressed in simple undergarments, made of a piece of several relatively thick fabrics, like a diving suit, covering the shoulders down to the thighs. The three of us barely had time to speak before the door to the room opened and a man of a lean build walked towards us, his hands clasped behind his back. His hard face displayed a discreetly self-satisfied look. As I watched the man, a dark voice caught my attention:
"Saul." Carth said in a sombre tone, tainted with bitterness.
I glanced rapidly at the pilot, then back at Bastila, who responded politely to my unspoken solicitation; she looked particularly worried.
I had knowledge of the connections between Carth and the Admiral. The Lieutenant, despite his considerable secretiveness regarding his past, had told me about his strong fear of being deceived or betrayed by his peers. A fear that stemmed from this one man who was just now introducing himself to us. Saul Karath, before pledging allegiance to Darth Revan, was a general officer of the Republic, a renowned soldier, decorated on multiple occasions, a true war hero. Unfortunately, this noble career had suddenly been tainted by this ultimate betrayal that had shattered the entire hierarchy of the Republic army; the man had tried to rally Carth to his cause, urging him to join him and serve Revan's Empire. When Revan died on that fateful day when Bastila was sent to confront him, Malak subsequently made Karath the Admiral of his massive fleet. Since then, Carth had harboured an all-consuming hatred for the man whose devotion to the Sith cause had been responsible for many of the tragedies in the life of his former pupil.
"It's been a while Carth." Karath stated ordinarily. "So long that I barely recognised you when we dragged you off your ship."
"I can' t say the same about you." Carth replied, pausing briefly before continuing. I could feel the rage boiling inside him: "Your face has been on my mind with every passing second, with every breath I take, with every beat of my heart, since you destroyed my planet. I swear here that I will make you pay for your atrocities."
"I hear your supplications, Carth. You are a military man, as am I. You know better than anyone here that war is about sacrifice and killing innocent people. Don't tell me you're realising that just now."
"My wife and son were on Telos!" Carth shouted abruptly.
His eyes were filled with the tears he could no longer hold back. At that moment I was overwhelmed by his profound sadness. A cruel heartbreak that invaded my body. I tried to keep this emotional rage at bay, which I managed to do thanks to another sensation that gently wrapped around me: a wave of genuine compassion that emanated from Bastila. The bond I shared with her increased this emotional incursion, and settled into the depths of my being.
Saul Karath stared at his former learner in disgust, and resumed:
"Look at you. You're a miserable, weepy wreck. I offered you the chance of a lifetime, and by extension, the chance of your family. You turned me down. Please don't be surprised today by the consequences of the decisions you have made. You are nothing more than the embodiment of failure. And I don't want to talk to you anymore."
The Sith then turned his back on Carth, and I could see that he was huffing and puffing in his anger and deep sorrow. The words the Admiral had just spoken were despicable. So despicable that I myself felt a somewhat illegitimate anger, for it was not mine. I decided to stay composed, and waited for what the Sith had in store for us. As I looked sympathetically at my companion, I caught a glimpse of Karath walking closer to Bastila's cell out. As he went by, I noticed him giving me a curious but deeply distrustful look. He stopped right in front of the woman, causing me to experience a sudden wave of anguish. I had to remember: Bastila was the Sith's original objective. Her Battle meditation was their worst nightmare, but her capture offered the possibility of turning the Empire of Malak into a total invincible force. On the condition that Bastila fell.
The woman held the Sith officer's gaze rather defiantly, as he gave her a hypocritical smile, and spoke up:
"You have not been an easy catch, my dear. It is fair to say that you have made our task quite challenging."
Bastila remained still. She kept staring at the man. I also maintained my own silence, but it was clear that I was at that moment in a state of deep inner panic. Karath, still smiling, took a step towards my cell. He took a few seconds to scrutinise me, and, maintaining his eyes on me, he addressed Bastila again:
"And it is fair to say that you are good at getting the right people around you."
He fell silent, and went on watching me, as you would watch a caged creature. Bastila, staring at the Sith, suddenly looked rather confused - her breath sounded more intense, and I thought at that moment that she was clenching her jaws.
"Tell me, Padawan." Saul said, addressing me at last. "You are a curiosity. A dangerous curiosity. I've heard many impressive tales about you... for such a briefly trained Jedi."
I saw Karath turn his attention to Bastila, again wearing his hypocritical smile. I disliked the Sith officer's condescending tone and retorted fervently, holding my gaze fiercely on the Sith:
"I have been excellently taught."
I had foolishly thought that my words might have a particular resonance with Bastila. I knew she was in a rather conflicted personal situation; between her doubts about her legitimacy and about her work, and our story... I had naively wanted to warm up, even a little, the woman's tormented mind. However, I had to admit that her reaction went in the opposite direction: I saw Bastila lower her eyes and suddenly display a very embarrassed look. Saul Karath could not hold back a suppressed laugh. His attention returned to me.
"How lovely it is, this almost automatic attachment between teachers and students. It always had the ability to move me." He proclaimed theatrically, laying eyes on Carth, before resuming, with his face inches away from the electric field of my cell.
"How highly do you think of this woman, Padawan?"
I said nothing. I just stared at the man, waiting for the moment when he would make me understand that I had just done something very stupid. The Admiral took a small step towards my cell. He gave a cruel smile and finished, in a dark voice:
"We'll see about that soon."
I frowned, and blew out a defeated sigh. As compassionate as it was, my initiative had opened a breach in which Saul had been quick to step in. The Sith now turned to the two soldiers in the room.
"Take the Jedi to the white chamber."
The two soldiers set to work. Immediately jolts were sent into both our cells, so that we were knocked out while we were being transferred.
I painfully opened my eyes: the room I was in was immaculately white. The light shone so brightly that it harassed my retinas. Eventually, though, I got used to it and could eventually see the silhouette of Bastila, who was facing me, about three metres away. She was regaining consciousness, also with trouble. I noticed that we were not in a single cell this time.
As I watched Bastila, I noted that she was restrained by short chains, each holding the woman's joined wrists high; her elbows just above the level of her forehead. Her feet were also bound, and tied to the floor, presumably to prevent her from lifting her legs to strike her potential torturer.
The Sith had made the effort to leave the young Jedi enough slack for her to kneel, and avoid having her weight held down only by her wrists. I also spotted some sort of collar, visually similar to the one Brejik had placed on her on Taris. I knew that it was an inhibitor, which would prevent the Jedi from using her powers. And it was very likely that this model would prove to be unquestionably effective, unlike Brejik's trinket. When I had done examining my friend, I turned my attention to myself for a moment. I soon realised that I was in a completely similar situation to Bastila. I looked up and met Bastila's eyes, now fully awake. I noticed that she was showing me a shade of caring, a desire to pacify me, as if everything was going to be all right. How could she possibly lay her eyes on me in such a way? With such tenderness? This problematic situation was all my fault. She should have given me a murderous look, made me understand that I was the emperor of fools.
I sighed again, and allowed my gaze to wander back to the floor of the room, waiting for what was to come.
It didn't take long. I could not dwell on my thoughts. A soldier entered the room, followed by Saul Karath. Bastila and I immediately turned our attention to the Admiral. He stood at the back of the small room, at equal distance from the two of us. The guard stood by the door that he had just closed.
"Good." Karath began. "I thought we needed another, more intimate setting. You are important guests, it is only fair that you receive treatment worthy of your prestige." The Admiral ironically commented.
He took a moment to observe us. He gave one of those familiar satisfied smiles. Then he waved to the soldier. The latter immediately turned round and activated a command via a small terminal I had failed to notice. The guard then moved back to his original position. In the centre of the room, between Bastila and me, a small platform descended from the ceiling, displaying a quantity of instruments of all kinds. I experienced a wind of anxiety running back and forth through my body. It required little imagination to understand what was coming. I tried to find Bastila's comforting gaze, but the descending platform almost completely hid the woman's silhouette. Saul Karath walked towards the platform, which happened to be a rack. I saw him pick up a number of tools and place them on a small table near his original location. The platform disappeared into the ceiling, revealing Bastila again; she gave me a very brief glance, then focused her attention on the Admiral, who was arranging the tools with great care. I saw him select one of them, which he grasped firmly, and stepped towards me. I could hear Bastila gasp, the chains jingling slightly, as if she had been trying to force herself out of them.
"The rules are very simple." The Admiral said to me. "I question you, and you answer me."
"It's a fine set-up, but it won't make me speak, Karath." I retorted behind a nervous chuckle.
"Easy, Padawan. I haven't finished stating the rules. It is obvious that if you do not fulfill my expectations, you will be sanctioned." The Sith continued, tapping the tool against one of his hands.
"I got it. Torture me all you want, it makes no difference." I told him in grim resolve.
Saul Karath smiled with amusement for a few seconds. Then he resumed briskly:
"What, you thought I would come after you? No."
Karath then took his eyes off me and walked a few steps away.
"Not directly." He added, his gaze now on Bastila.
"You have to understand: I'm a creative soul. I like it when there is some 'asymmetry' in my approaches."
I frowned, unsure of exactly where the admiral was going - he continued to move slowly and eventually came up to Bastila. I watched apprehensively as he positioned himself directly in front of her, and knelt down to her level. I clenched my jaws painfully, but stayed silent. Saul Karath gently placed the tool on the floor and brought his hand to the cheek of the young woman, who was staring at the man with disdain. I bit my lips violently. My breath intensified as my mind realised what was about to happen. Rage swirled inside me, but I managed not to let it explode. Not so soon. It would only feed his satisfaction, and it would not be of any use to Bastila.
Karath picked up the tool again, and stood up. He turned his head towards me and announced:
"If you do not talk to me, Jedi, she will suffer for your silence."
I knew exactly what he was planning. Yet I could not help but feel shocked. I knew, but I didn't want to hear it. While I was already trying to fight my own rage, a quiet surge of terror joined my discomfort: Bastila's. Fear that soon she would be the target of acts of torture. The young woman was strong, but what human being would be able to keep total consistency in such a situation? I stared at the Jedi, horrified and confused. Pathetic. A useless loser incapable of figuring out what to do, waiting indecently for Bastila to give me instructions. The young woman, for the first time since her awakening, spoke in my direction, her gaze intensely fixed on me - no doubt fully aware that these circumstances might cause me to reveal crucial information:
"My pain is meaningless. They can't allow themselves to tear me down, you know that. Malak would make them pay. I ask you not to say anything. No matter what happens. No matter how hard it is for you and me. I have faith in you, Corem."
My breath caught in my throat, my terrified eyes drowning in my preceptress', I had no choice but to nod. I looked down at the floor. I drew a deep breath and closed my eyes for a few seconds. An almost imperceptible smile grew on my lips. Bastila could not have been more persuasive. Painfully persuasive. But I was now committed to honouring her request, and not betraying her trust. I was ready, she was ready. I lifted my head and looked at Bastila with strength.
"Go ahead." I announced, never averting my eyes from the Jedi.
Saul walked a few steps near Bastila, the torture instrument in his hand. He looked a little taken aback, as if he was no longer so confident in his success.
"To begin with, you may tell me where you have been trained."
Still staring at Bastila, I made no reply. Saul sighed and, preparing his gesture in the direction of the woman, he added casually:
"You know the rules."
With these words, Karath brought the tool down hard on the Jedi's shoulder, perforating her clothing and her flesh in places, and soon blood was running down her shoulder blade and collarbone. The woman had merely emitted a restrained groan. I clenched my fists, forcing myself not to look away. I was the one causing her pain, it was my duty to bear the sight of it.
"I played softly with this one. I am acting fairly. False question, false sanction. I know perfectly well which academy was willing to take care of you. We took care of the enclave of Dantooine, which by now must be nothing but smoking ruins."
Suddenly I saw Bastila gaze at the Admiral in horror, nearly in disbelief, gasping for breath.
"Don't look at me that way, Bastila. You know I'm telling the truth." Karath added. " All right, next question."
I was already beginning to falter. I felt myself turning into such a coward. My eyes had left Bastila for a moment, overwhelmed by the announcement concerning the Academy, and the announcement of this new question the Admiral was going to raise. One question, one sanction. More pain, more blood.
"Now I want you to tell me the nature of your mission. Tell me what the Council has in mind in order to defeat the plans of Malak and his fleet? What is your role in this?"
"Screw you." I replied darkly, through my teeth, which I clenched tightly.
"As you wish." The Admiral said under a weary sigh, before adding, "Since I have submitted two questions that have not been answered, you will not mind if I adjust the sanction accordingly."
Saul Karath unleashed a series of blows on Bastila, each one more violent than the last; she found herself no longer able to hold back the screams. With a chillingly saturated voice, the woman cried out in agony at each of the brutalities the Admiral inflicted on her. I instinctively forced my chains, uselessly brutal, in a vain hope that they would break so that I could rescue my friend. I moaned in rage, tears streaming down my cheeks. In addition to the horror of the Sith's actions and the woman's screams, I could see blood gushing out all around her, covering the pristine floor and walls in a shrieking red. The young woman herself was drenched, which had the sole benefit of covering the sight of her gaping wounds. After a final rush of sharp strikes, which further aggravated the woman's injuries, the Admiral stopped his persecution. He was out of breath. With his sleeve he wiped the blood that had also found its way onto his hard face.
"Isn't that enough for you?" Karath prompted me eagerly. "You still won't answer? I reiterate the question!"
I felt my will waver. I released a depressed cry at this spectacle that I could not endure. I laid eyes on Bastila, who looked unable to reciprocate the action. She was leering at the floor, no longer in a position to rise, or even kneel. She was dangling from her chains, which would most likely hurt her wrists.
"Bastila!" I shouted, in the hope of getting the Jedi's attention.
But it didn't work.
"Bastila!"
My requests went unanswered. I was totally helpless. What should I do? Karath was not as gentle with her as we had expected. He was clearly prepared to beat her up badly just to obtain answers. I even feared that in his impatience and anger Karath would end up killing her.
"No, he can't allow himself any more than that, he has too much to lose." I thought.
"Bastila," I began in a shaky voice, not knowing if the woman could hear me. "I am truly sorry. Please hold on. Please."
Karath seemed to realise that I was still not going to talk to him. He quickly went to the table where he placed the bloodied instrument. He approached the young woman, knelt down beside her again and whispered these few words to her, taking care to adjust the volume of his voice enough so that I could hear what he was saying:
"My poor friend." He spoke in a falsely supportive tone. Bastila appeared to look up at the Admiral very slightly, attentive. "I thought he really cared about you. How unfair. And all those glorious sacrifices... All that weight you carry just because of him... You must feel so disappointed."
What?
That was too much.
"Shut up!" I shouted with such force that my vocal cords gave me a painful notification. "Stop stuffing her mind, you're talking nonsense! Bastila, don't listen to him!"
Karath smiled in satisfaction. He stood up, then grabbed his blaster by the barrel. With unprecedented violence, he struck the woman several times in the face. She let out a few grunts, less heartbreaking than the previous ones; fatigue had surely got to her. The Admiral then stopped the assault and returned the blaster to his belt. Bastila took advantage of this moment of calm to spit out the blood that was pouring into her mouth. Saul Karath moved towards the guard, who never moved an inch.
"I can see that I won't manage to get you to talk. I admit my helplessness. I will leave the rest to Malak; he is on his way." The Admiral then added to the guard:
"Please carry on, in the meantime. You have complete freedom of action. Just don't mess them up too much. Especially her. You have been warned." Then Karath left the white room, now stained with pools of blood, leaving the guard alone with Bastila and me.
The man timidly approached the centre of the room, under my uncertain gaze. Bastila looked unconscious. She didn't seem to care at all about what was going on around her. The soldier was lost. He glanced in my direction, then at the young woman, whom he then never took his eyes off. Fearing that the Sith was coming after her, I shouted:
"If you harm her any further, Malak will punish you!" The man turned his attention to me.
"You know her worth."
The guard turned more frankly to me. Still in that confused attitude.
"I am in good condition. Go ahead. Enjoy yourself." I added.
The man nevertheless fixed his gaze on Bastila again, as if he wanted to get at her, but aware that she was already far too badly beaten up.
"Malak will kill you if you hurt her!" I cried impatiently, afraid that I might not be able to persuade the soldier.
However, the man was apparently listening to me. But I was horrified to see him still moving towards the woman. I felt my muscles twitch violently. The man observed the Jedi for a moment, then moved to the table where many torturing instruments were still laid out. He picked up a single, sharp knife and turned back to Bastila.
"Stop it!" I yelled, tears streaming profusely down my eyes. " She has suffered enough, let her be! If Malak can' t punish you, then I'll have your hide, be sure of that!"
The soldier did not consider my threats. Standing in front of Bastila, he raised the knife and slipped it under the garment she was wearing. With a quick movement, he tore the textile, and in less than a minute, he removed the entire garment from her body, leaving her totally naked before the man and myself. Shocked and bewildered, I fell silent, though showing a horrified expression. The guard turned his head towards me and smiled evilly:
"Thank you for offering, but I am more interested in her than in you. Don't worry, there will be no bloodshed on my part. It won't harm her much more. Not physically, anyway."
The guard then focused his attention back on Bastila. I could see him gesturing at his belt.
No. This could not be happening.
No. This was not going to happen.
It couldn't be. My heart began to beat so fast and hard that my chest ached. My breath grew heavy. Sweat ran down my face, mixing with my tears.
No.
Not this. This couldn't be real. Such cruelty, such perversity, it couldn't possibly be real. I silently prayed that it was all a hallucination. Had I finally been tortured too? Had I luckily fallen into an unconsciousness that led me to this nightmarish scene, which existed only in my own mind? By the gods, by the Force, that had to be so.
However, real or not, my eyes brought me back to this vision of absolute chaos. I could only resolve myself and witness the soldier undertake totally inappropriate actions towards the Jedi. I screamed, tearing my throat out. I pulled at my chains with all my might. So much so that furrows started to appear in my wrists and blood began to flow down my arms. Every muscle in my body was contracted to the point of bursting. I was experiencing a moment of pure, dangerous rage.
"BASTILA!" I shouted over and over, vainly thinking to distract the soldier's need for concentration in his sordid business.
But he did not seem to be bothered by my shouting. The man went on with his disgusting work. Despite her exhaustion, despite her injuries, I could see Bastila emerging from her torpor. She was weak, but she apparently realised what was happening. Then I saw her trying to resist unsuccessfully, moaning in pain, both psychically and physically. There was nothing she could do in the state she was in, except wriggle around to disturb her abuser. However, seeing that she could not stop him, she abandoned all attempts and looked up painfully at me, at my rage-scarred face, still straining at my chains, hurting me a little more with each movement. With the last remaining strength in her, Bastila addressed me:
"Stop that, Corem." These first words caused me to freeze in my useless efforts. "Please close your eyes. I don't want you to see this."
I stared at the Jedi, my cheeks wet with tears, my mouth slightly open and letting out a few sharp breaths. A few seconds passed in this manner. Then I clenched my jaws, lowered my head, and finally closed my eyes, as Bastila requested. I could no longer see what that soldier was doing to the Jedi. I could only rely on the sounds. And, despite the woman's obvious attempt to hold back her cries of pain and distress, it wasn't long before I realised that the soldier had reached the final stage of his abuse against the female Jedi. Bastila cried as the worst part came. I had to exercise tremendous restraint not to open my eyes, and possibly try to intimidate the man one last time. The screams, the cries, the suffering of the young woman were intolerable. So much so that I could no longer hold back my fury. With a strength amplified by rage, eyes still closed, I started to scream so hard the walls would shake. I couldn't think of a better way to muffle Bastila's cries. What a cowardly thing to do. But I could not do otherwise at that moment. The atmosphere in the room was apocalyptic. Blood, flesh, screaming. It was overwhelming. So overwhelming that without realising it, I eventually lost consciousness, and somehow I managed to free myself from that situation; leaving Bastila, however, totally alone with her tormentor.
Later, I opened my eyes again. I found myself completely at a loss to say how long I had been in this condition. I lifted my gaze to Bastila. The guard was no longer there. He had apparently left the room. Bastila was still completely naked. Her blood had streamed all over her body and had dried on the Jedi's bruised white skin. I could not see the woman's face very clearly - she was fixing the floor right before her. So I assumed she was unconscious.
I sighed loudly. This seemingly brought Bastila out of her sleepy state. She raised her head very slightly, but her eyes were still on the ground. Nevertheless, I could see at that moment that they were actually open. I took advantage of the opportunity to draw the woman's attention a little more:
"Bastila." I asked calmly. "Can you hear me?"
The woman offered no answer. She kept her gaze on the ground. I chose to persist. I added sadly:
"Please, if you can hear me, let me know."
Bastila did nothing. However, I noted that tears reddened by blood were running down her face and falling to the ground. I felt a huge weight on my stomach. This was all my fault. If I had spoken up, maybe Saul wouldn't have wanted to let that bastard do what he wanted. Maybe. I had let this woman I was so deeply in love with suffer unspeakable atrocities right before my eyes. And I had found nothing better than to allow my conscience to hide to avoid having to hear or see anything more of it. I was a coward and possibly a traitor. I had given up on her. In the end, I was not much better than that perverted soldier who had abused the person who meant the most to me. I was not worthy of her. I hadn't realised it, but streams of tears had been rolling down my face for a few minutes and had even found their way to my neck for a final run.
"I ask your forgiveness, Bastila."
The woman still gave no reply, but what had been blood-reddened tears turned into heartbreaking cries. I could not help but join her in this painful moment.
Suddenly the door opened. I looked up briskly, afraid that the horror would start all over again. But into the room stepped a small figure with a rifle in her hands. Mission had come to free us. The girl took a few quick steps into the room, and stopped in shock when she realised the situation we were in.
"Mission, get us out of here!" I shouted to the Twi'lek, who was frozen by the sight before her - especially Bastila, who had not yet looked up. My words snapped her out of her stupor and she turned her head towards me.
"There's a panel right behind you, by the door. Free us!"
Mission executed without delay. It didn't take her long to unlock the chains that were holding us. I managed to fall back to the ground with some ease.
Which was not quite the case with Bastila, who appeared not to have any desire to catch herself in the fall. She crouched down, certainly with the idea of covering her nakedness, that had been fully exposed until then. I rushed to her side, taking care to keep a respectful distance. After this experience, Bastila probably didn't want another man to lay a hand on her, even in a benevolent way. I was two steps away from her, I was on my knees to get to her level. I addressed Mission:
"Please Mission, bring us our belongings. Quickly. And tell the others not to come in here."
"I will." The girl then left the room in a hurry and left us alone.
I turned back to Bastila, still in her position, obviously shocked. I tried to move a little closer to her. I took a step. Bastila showed no signs of embarrassment at seeing me so close to her. I was pleased to note this, so I slowly reached out to touch her shoulder, but within inches of reaching her, I pulled back, feeling uneasy about upsetting the Jedi any further with a gesture that was perhaps unnecessary. Only, as I took a step backwards, Bastila gently grasped the arm that had attempted the previous approach. For the first time since I had regained consciousness, I could look into Bastila's eyes. I could read deep distress in them. A tremendous sadness fed by the violence of the abuse she had suffered.
"Please don't stand back like I'm some hideous beast." The Jedi announced in a sobbing voice. "Like I disgust you."
Disgust me? Did she really mean that? The reality was that all I wanted to do was hold her, to tell her as openly as possible how much I loved her, how much I wanted her with me. That it wasn't bastards like Karath and that soldier who were going to change anything about the way I felt about her and my desperate desire to be with her.
There was no way Bastila was going to believe that she disgusted me. So with no warning, I moved closer to her again and embraced her traumatised body with controlled strength, using the full length of my arms. I rested my head on her shoulder and turned her slightly so that I could partially drown in her hair. Bastila seemed caught off guard. Then, as I held her tightly against me, I felt her relax and gently bring her arms around my neck.
"Don't say such things." I demanded almost solemnly. I felt the woman flinch, just like in a sob.
"And what Saul tried to make you believe, I want you to throw that away." I added firmly.
Bastila loosened her grip, and appeared to be trying to break our embrace. I released the woman from my grip and let her go. I carefully rested my hands on my thighs in a moment of waiting. While I thought she would break away completely from me, Bastila merely drew back so that she could find my gaze. She let her own hands lie gently on mine, and looked into my eyes, silently. Slightly confused, I allowed myself to speak again, somewhat emotionally:
"You know how much I care about you. You know that I mean it."
There was no answer from Bastila. She watched me intently, her jaws trembling, holding back her tears. In an effort to comfort her about my deep attachment to her, I brought a hand to her face and rested my forehead against hers. The young woman gasped with increasing intensity. Again I struggled to contain my own tears, so that some managed to escape from my eyes, and ran down my skin at full speed.
"Forgive me." I implored the Jedi. My words seemed to be the final trigger, causing Bastila to fall into a tearful cry. We both remained in that posture for several minutes. Then our tears gradually dissipated until we regained some measure of composure. Bastila sniffed a couple of times and then turned to me nervously:
"Corem." She began. "I remember you wanted us to stop seeing each other after all this. I don't want to be alone with this burden, Corem. I remember that you wanted us to have no contact at all. But I'm going to need you. I'm sorry to ask you this. I know it would hurt you. But I can't face this alone."
I moved my face slightly away from hers so that I could look into her eyes. I had never seen her so distressed, so broken.
"I never wanted not to see you again, Bastila." I corrected her. "I just thought it was the best thing for both of us, considering that we could never be more than two Jedi who had broken a few rules. But it's not something I desire."
I took my hand off her face and grasped one of hers with all the gentleness I could muster. Gently, with my thumb, I caressed her palm continuously.
"I will stay with you as long as you need me: days, weeks, months, years, whatever. I'm committed to it. It's the least I can do for you."
The woman stared at me intensely, her eyes brimming with emotion. In this particular situation, Bastila had seemingly removed and thrown away the barriers of her beloved Code. It was no longer a question of submitting to dogma. It was now a question of healing wounds that were so deep that even the wisest Masters would be powerless to heal them. Only her will, coupled with the most sincere affection of a close friend and his most unwavering support could give the woman a chance to recover from her traumas. She had just offered me to be that person. Even though this in no way meant that we would become romantically involved with each other, I would not let this opportunity to save her from her demons go to waste. I didn't care if it would cause me to suffer like never before. I owed her that.
"Corem." She interjected again, her tone slightly brighter. "You're not responsible for what happened." Suddenly looking away, I blew out a harsh breath; I didn't want to hear her make excuses for me. Bastila noticed that I was disengaging from her, so she tightly squeezed my hand, still sealed in hers. I regained her eyes, attentively.
"He had planned this from the beginning. You didn't do anything to rush into anything he didn't already have in mind. He never stopped fooling us."
I studied the woman. Perhaps she was right. But part of me couldn't help but think that if it hadn't been for all the nonsense I'd said before we were taken to that room, Bastila wouldn't have been tortured like she had been. Besides, I couldn't understand why Karath had spared the Jedi so little. Ever since Darth Revan's death, Malak had gone to great lengths to hunt down the woman, and her powers. It was in his best interest to keep her as unharmed as possible. Yet the Admiral enjoyed himself greatly.
"Why has he attacked you so badly?" I asked in a candid voice. Bastila gently loosened the pressure of her hand around mine and replied:
"I should have expected it. Malak wants me. His only desire is for me to join his ranks, and to use my Battle Meditation in his service. Saul wanted to initiate the process of breaking my resolve. My abuse was impressive. My wounds are also impressive. But I am not in a worrying state. It was all a show, a spectacle whose only purpose was to destabilise us and push me into darkness."
What an idiot.
Obviously. You couldn't bring someone down by spoiling and pampering them. Of course Karath had every interest in traumatising the woman, in pushing her to her limits, in stirring up her anger and suffering. Perhaps Malak had even ordered him to do so. Perhaps all this had been planned long ago. However, I doubted that the soldier who had abused her afterwards had been given a ready-made script. No. He had improvised. I had felt it. I couldn't imagine Saul pushing him into an act like that. The crazy guy had made his own decisions. And he would have to face the consequences, which I shamefully hoped would be as cruel as possible.
We were interrupted by the metallic sound of what I thought was a blaster butt timidly hitting the door of the torture chamber. Mission was returning with our belongings. I gave a knowing look to Bastila who nodded slightly. I placed both hands on her shoulders in solidarity before standing up and heading for the door. I glanced back at the Jedi, as if to make sure she was in as private a position as possible. I then proceeded to open the door, and the small figure of the girl appeared. She was carrying our gear, which she had stuffed into what appeared to be large linen bags. She smiled awkwardly and handed me our equipment. Without wasting any time, I grabbed the bags, nodded with understanding and said to the girl:
"Thank you Mission. We'll be with you all shortly."
"Carth is waiting for you. He has informed me that we need to disable security from the bridge of the cruiser if we are to escape. The others are ready to leave to retrieve and defend the ship."
"Tell the others to wait for you, Mission. You're going to join the Ebon Hawk, and you're taking Bastila."
The Twi'lek nodded briskly and looked ready to respond, but was interrupted by Bastila's distant voice.
"No." She began. Mission and I turned our attention to the Jedi, still crouched with her back to us. She turned her head slightly to the side, probably so she could talk to us better.
"I'll stay with Corem and Carth. Mission, join the others and find the ship."
"Bastila, in your condition..." I tried to counter.
"I'm okay." The Jedi retorted dryly, whom I felt somewhat offended.
Mission and I exchanged an uncomfortable look. The little Twi'lek let out a short breath before shrugging her shoulders in resignation. I let out a sigh of my own, then glanced defeatedly at the teenager, who then walked back the way she came, probably to find our other friends. The door closed and I turned to Bastila. I approached her again and gently placed our bags on the floor. I peered into one of them and recognised the Jedi's belongings. I pushed the bag gently beside her and spoke softly:
"Here, your gear."
Bastila painfully grabbed the bag and plunged her hands inside, ready to dress and finally leave this dreadful place. I watched her for a moment, then stood up with my own stuff, and prepared to leave the room, giving the Jedi some privacy. I was still wearing undergarments at the time, so I was perfectly fine to suit up in front of the others. As I began to tap on the door controls, Bastila addressed me again, in some misunderstanding.
"Where are you going?"
I looked at her, wrinkled my forehead, then answered in a tone that was meant to be reassuring:
"I'm waiting for you just beyond the door, Bastila."
"No. Don't leave me here alone."
I stared at the young woman for a couple of seconds. Then I placed my bag on the floor and proceeded to dress where I stood.
"Okay." I said kindly. "I'm staying here, I'm not leaving."
I saw the Jedi nod her head under sharp breath with a troubled look on her face. Then, without a single word, she resumed her digging in her bag, and gradually covered her torn and dried blood-stained skin with her clothes. I did the same without further delay.
Once we were ready, I walked closer to Bastila, who had finally risen to her feet. The woman gave me a somewhat twisted glance, though this time bathed in some sort of resolution. I placed my hand on her back and tacitly indicated that we should head for the exit. We broke contact and eventually left this cursed chamber, whose floor reddened with the Jedi's blood, whose walls still howled with the pain she had suffered here. Inwardly, I saw myself symbolically sealing this room forever, and all the horrors it contained. Throughout this mission, I had felt like Bastila's protégé, but this traumatic experience reversed the roles we held then. Today, I vowed that I would no longer allow her to carry the entire burden of our quest for the star maps. It was high time I assumed responsibility, and gave Bastila a chance to rest, even a little.
