Bastila, Carth and I had finally reached the main bridge of the Leviathan, where we were to release the securities and allow the Ebon Hawk to escape. The Admiral was expecting us there, and had prepared armed forces ready to pick us up. But he probably hadn't considered that we might be in a position to take on his troops. As tired as I was, I was quite capable of facing this new wave of Sith infantrymen and a few other Dark Jedi. Bastila also proved to be highly resourceful, and coped with her pain and wounds with remarkable ease; like a second wind. Carth stuck close to her, no doubt for his own protection, since the man was only carrying a blaster, he needed to fight with someone to shield himself from melee fighters. Karath stood away from us all, by the huge glass windows of the bridge. He was observing us confidently. Unfortunately for him, we managed to defeat all our opponents, leaving the Admiral alone.

I was watching him from afar. I could feel a wave of fear sweeping through his entire being. He was cornered, alone, facing two Jedi and his former learner, whose only dream for years had been to take revenge on his old mentor. Carth's first heavy steps brought me out of my observation. I turned my head slightly towards him, and saw him striding with an almost enraged determination in the direction of the Admiral. I felt scared at that moment. It was more than obvious that the Lieutenant was on his way to murder Karath. Should I let him? The Jedi teachings were telling me that I had to stop him in his darkest plans. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I could not raise my voice. I was stunned in my contemplation, in my compassion for Carth, and in my resentment of the Admiral, the man responsible for the mistreatment inflicted on Bastila. I felt her brush against me, which prompted me to turn my eyes succinctly to her. Her gaze was firmly fixed on Carth, her mouth partly open and her countenance troubled. As he lifted the barrel of his blaster at the Admiral, I saw Bastila break into a sustained run right behind him. But halfway there, the Jedi paused, hesitating. Carth was just a few feet away from his former mentor, his blaster aimed at him. But he did nothing. I noticed that Karath raised both of his hands and fell to his knees, seemingly imploring the Lieutenant not to shoot. Carth moved a little closer, the old man still in his sights, and knelt down beside him. The Admiral, whose hands were now lowered, seemed to be whispering to him. Bastila resumed her course, but at a much reduced pace. She drew nearer to the two men with a slowness that suggested a feeling of apprehension. Suddenly I caught a glimpse of Saul Karath grabbing Carth's blaster. The gesture caused Carth to jump to his feet, while Bastila's pace quickened. I myself was finally awakened from my state of torpor, and moved vigorously towards my companions.

However, before I could reach them, Saul brought the barrel of the blaster up to his temple and fired the loaded shot. The now dead man fell heavily to the ground, his skull smoldering. Carth instinctively took a few steps backwards, bringing him to Bastila's side. She laid a supportive hand on his shoulder, but kept a respectful silence. The Lieutenant remained still. He was staring at the corpse of his mentor in shock. Then, suddenly, he turned sharply to Bastila and glared at her. He made a characteristic movement of his shoulder, urging the woman to withdraw the hand she had placed there. She complied, never leaving the man's troubled eyes. I pressed on, and when I was within a few yards of joining them, Carth finally raised his voice in a fit of frightful rage:

"BASTILA!" He shouted. "TELL ME THIS IS NOT TRUE!"

In an almost unconscious effort to assist the woman, I eventually joined my friends in this strangely difficult moment, and positioned myself triangularly between Bastila and Carth.

"What's wrong with you, Carth?" I asked aggressively.

"You shut up, I'm not talking to you! " Carth retorted in a very uncharacteristically vulgar manner, slightly pushing me away with the palm of his hand.

In total shock, I remained quiet and concentrated on my companion in disbelief. Probably fearing that the situation between the two of us would escalate, Bastila rested her hand on my arm and nodded gently in my direction. I responded with a similar gesture and took a step back, letting the young woman take over. Carth stared angrily at the Jedi, which frightened me even more than I already was.

"Carth." Bastila began, in a calm but resolute voice. "I understand your indignation. But you must deal with it for now. We need to get off this cruiser as soon as possible. Malak will be here soon."

Carth was still glaring at the young woman in complete silence; but the fury in his eyes had slightly died down. I merely watched without saying anything, my forehead wrinkled in total incomprehension. Bastila continued:

"Please, Carth. Trust me a little longer. I'll explain everything as soon as we've left the place. You have my word."

We were observing the Jedi. A few seconds passed before Carth spoke again:

"Very well, Bastila. But don't try to use the time we have to work out a plan to save you from this situation. Once we're away from that damn cruiser, everyone will have to know!"

"Everyone will know." The Jedi promised.

With these last words, Carth initiated the walk back to the corridor that had brought us to the present bridge. As he made his way along, he deliberately shoved us. Before leaving, he picked up a blaster and disappeared from our sight. I looked at Bastila, in confusion. The woman looked particularly bewildered. Her eyes were visibly lost in the distance. I could hear her sharp and certainly uncomfortable breathing. Then the Jedi met my gaze for a few very short seconds, turned to a console and reached for it. A corpse was lying next to her. The Jedi knelt down and searched the body. A few seconds later, she stood up with a small card in her hand. She used it to access the restricted controls of the console. I saw her make a couple of manipulations, then she came back to me.

"Okay, we're good to go. " She announced in relative relief. "Come on, let's not delay any longer." She said with a gentle pat on my back. We set off again, heading for the Ebon Hawk.

Our group went through yet another maze of corridors and rooms. We encountered a few more patches of soldiers whom we confronted and overcame with ease, despite our numerical inferiority. However, these encounters cost a great deal of time. We had to hurry up. The rest of our companions were waiting for us aboard the Ebon Hawk, ready to leave. The success of our escape was going to depend on very little.

Our trio went down a long hallway, illuminated by red lights. I suddenly felt an intense but silent distress. We had to keep going. We kept going until we came to a final encounter.

We had only a few more rooms and corridors to go through before we finally got to our small ship. But we were stopped in our tracks by a tall red silhouette. Darth Malak had finally boarded the Leviathan. We stopped and maintained a safe distance from the Sith Lord, directly facing him. Bastila, who stood between Carth and myself, gave a defeated groan. I turned my head to my friend, and could feel her anxiety all the more at the sight of her in evident torment. Carth, still engulfed in a throbbing rage, unholstered his blaster and fired at the Sith, who diverted the rounds with his lightsaber, before knocking the officer down with the Force. The man rose laboriously to his feet and snapped his eyes to Bastila, still motionless. The Dark Lord gave a short laugh in his saturated voice.

"I'm delighted to finally meet you, Bastila. I was worried you'd run off again before we could finally get to know each other." The Sith announced calmly. "You haven't made it easy for me."

Bastila was silent. She just glared at Malak, rather defiantly, to the amusement of the Sith Lord:

"Come on, Bastila. Why are you looking at me so hard? You should be flattered. You are such a promising prospect. I actually have wonderful plans for you."

I gritted my teeth. There was no way Malak was going to get his hands on Bastila. I had to find a way out of this mess and get to the Ebon Hawk. But it wasn't that simple. The three of us were cornered. Run straight ahead and Malak would cut us to pieces; backtrack and the Sith would take advantage of our inattention to slaughter us. There were doors on the sides, but they looked locked, and I could identify the type of alloy they were made of: an armoured metal that not even a lightsaber could pierce so easily. There was only one option then: fight.

I activated my sabre, ready to attack. Suddenly Bastila looked up at me, holding my gaze sternly - clearly in total disagreement with my action. I also held the woman's eyes, somewhat unsettled by her attitude to me. Again Malak laughed, openly derisive.

"That's entertaining." The Sith Lord said. "I see you've done a marvellous job of exploiting his little memory issues. Totally committed to your cause and to yourself. What a fine piece of work."

I frowned at the Sith, my mouth half-open:

"What are you saying?" I asked, lost. I got no answer. So I turned to the person who curiously seemed to know more than I did. I couldn't hold back a wary look at the Jedi and I reiterated the question quite forcefully:

"What is he saying, Bastila?"

The young woman was staring down. She was apparently biting her lips. Malak then took advantage of the stupor in which she was caught to speak again, spilling out his ironic words with great satisfaction:

"Well, Bastila? Our common friend has spoken to you. You could at least look at him. What a poor soul. Don't you think you owe him an honest explanation?"

I flinched discreetly as I heard this. I noticed that, at the same time, Bastila had raised her eyes to the Sith. A dark, murderous look, which quite clearly betrayed a restrained anger. I disengaged my lightsaber, realising that the moment to fight had not yet come. I remained static as I waited, my attention entirely focused on Bastila. I didn't understand what was going on. I didn't understand my friend's uneasiness. But it was clear that it was all about me, and that I was not going to feel happy about it.

The young woman finally sighed. She turned her head slightly towards me, but appeared to avoid looking me in the eye.

"Corem." She spoke softly. "I would have preferred, really preferred, to tell you all this under different circumstances. You deserve to be told this news in a much more favourable context. But I don't have a choice." She took a short pause. A short pause during which a painful anxiety came over me. What was going to fall on my head?

I saw Bastila look up for a moment at Malak, apparently not in a particularly hostile position. He was clearly enjoying the moment, he wasn't about to attack us yet. Bastila glanced at me.

"Where to begin..." The Jedi whispered. She bit her lips for a few very brief seconds, then I saw her take a sharp breath, then turn to me, her eyes finally sealed in mine. She continued:

"I haven't been honest with you." She declared with resolution. I was just watching her, my eyebrows and forehead still furrowed. This first statement did not awaken the slightest surprise in me. I had fully understood that something was being hidden from me. That she was hiding something from me. I waited with relative patience for the rest of her speech.

"Your skills, your powers, your talents, they are not the result of mere coincidence, as you have already very reasonably questioned that. You are an exceptional Jedi, no one will ever argue with that fact, but on Dantooine you never learned anything you didn't already know. The speed with which you have gathered and mastered all this knowledge has a very rational explanation."

I was listening, but I couldn't comprehend what Bastila was saying. Or I didn't want to. She needed to be more explicit. Not to beat about the bush. So I spoke up, in a nervous tone:

"Get to the point, please."

Bastila allowed a few seconds to pass, her eyes still fixed on me, from which I could perceive a couple of discreet tears flowing down her face. In the midst of the storm that was beginning to roar within me, this vision was able to dispel it for a very brief moment, and to bring a breeze of compassion. This was too short-lived, for the young woman continued:

"Remember when I told you I didn't kill Revan?"

I nodded, then directed my gaze to Malak, Revan's actual murderer.

"No." She stated, which drew my attention back to her. "That day I was sent to eliminate Revan, Malak took the opportunity to bomb his master's cruiser, where I was with the commando. When I got up, everyone on the bridge was lying dead. My Jedi brothers and sisters were all dead. The few Sith soldiers and technicians were all dead. And Revan..." A silence fell. Everything seemed to be gradually becoming clearer with the information I was slowly receiving. But there were still some very confusing elements.

"When I reached out to Revan, I realised he was dying. Not dead."

My lack of understanding was progressively beginning to dissolve. And, paradoxically, as I pressed the Jedi for an explanation, a surge of deep regret washed over me. I didn't want to hear any more. But it was too late. Once again, I had pushed things too far, and now I was in a situation that I desperately wanted to leave. I couldn't hear the rest. I didn't want to believe what I was about to be told. In a deep daze, gasping for breath, I muttered to myself over and over again "no, no", still looking at Bastila. She appeared to force herself to carry on with her speech, despite the murmurings and the astonishment that I was unable to restrain:

"To save Revan, I had to give him some of my Force spark, to rekindle the flame that was going out in him. I wanted him to live. So I tied my life to his on that bridge. I beg your forgiveness."

"NO!" I suddenly shouted. "Revan is dead, that's a fact!" Bastila made no reply, but gave me an apologetic look that I found quite intolerable. She couldn't just show me that sorrowful expression. That was too easy. On the verge of letting my rage explode, I repeated in a deafening tone: "Revan is dead!

But the woman remained unresponsive, which did not help me to control my anger.

"Revan is dead!"

Silence.

"BASTILA!"

My shouting wasn't going to change anything. But I couldn't believe what I had just heard. Yet it all made sense at once. Everything was crystal clear. Corem was just a name, probably chosen in a hurry. Or, worse, the identity of a poor dead guy, with no family, no loved ones. Everything was a lie, a deception. And behind that name lay Revan. The former Sith Lord. A mass murderer. An abomination. The highest ranked enemy of the Republic and the Jedi.

I was breathing heavily. Shocked. I felt dizzy, lost in my own mind, in my own torment. I looked up at Bastila again, panicked, pleading. I was pathetic in front of the woman who had played me for so long. I was pathetic in front of the woman who had let me love her despite all her lies. I dropped my eyes from Bastila and burst into a resigned laugh.

The ironic laughter of a man who realised the tremendous deception in which he had been deliberately kept. She had made a fool of me. She had played me. All along. I thought I had shared something unique with the illustrious Bastila Shan, I thought I had been the only one privileged to have been able to experience that authentic part of her, hidden behind the walls of that damn Jedi Code. In the end, she had fooled me. In the end, she wanted nothing more than to win me over, in order to extract the information that would lead us to the star maps. I realised at that moment that I didn't know what was hurting me more: my real identity, or Bastila's duplicity. I was mad at her now. I was so pissed at her.

But what was the point?

If her every move had been calculated, as I was trying to convince myself, if she was one of those totally cold personalities who would do anything to achieve their ends, my resentment would not affect her. There was no need to fake it anymore. There was no need to pretend to be concerned about what I was going through.

I suddenly raised my eyes and looked almost aggressively into the Jedi's.

I expected to see the closed, distant, uncaring face that I had been picturing. But this was not the look that Bastila was showing. I concentrated on her again for a moment, and I could spot tears rolling down her white skin, partially bruised from the previous torture session conducted by Karath. What if she wasn't playing as much as I thought she was? What if she really was the compassionate, empathetic and sometimes vulnerable woman I had come to know on our journeys? The fury that had been building up inside me seemed to suddenly calm down. Even when I forced myself to be angry with Bastila, something was thwarting my will. And the more I looked at her, the more my resentment appeared to vanish. I needed to be realistic. This woman had been lying to me. This woman had abandoned me in an extraordinary fiction. But when I called upon our bond, when I had the opportunity to taste, even for a tiny moment, her feelings, I knew that she acted for me with all sincerity and with a part of affection and tenderness that she tried her best to conceal. And all these sacrifices she was making, all these responsibilities she had accepted for the Republic, and for me... I felt my face soften, and I could observe the young woman more serenely.

"You should have told me, Bastila." I finally said, with a touch of gentleness nevertheless coloured by confusion.

"Yes, I know that. I was forbidden to do so." The Jedi replied, eager to explain herself to the best of her ability. " And I was scared. I was worried that the truth would push you back into the darkness, that you would lose yourself again. I didn't want to risk seeing that your balance might depend only on this. I didn't want to see you fall."

"What Bastila is keeping from you, old friend, is that it is far easier to extract information from a being in your submissive state than from the Revan you once were." Malak interrupted, after remaining in perfect silence until then.

Bastila and I glared at the Sith Lord, clearly still enjoying the moment.

"And what do you think? That Bastila did all this simply out of the goodness of her heart? Simply for your personal dignity? Please, don't be so naive. All she wanted from you were your memories, Revan. And to taste the dark side that still lies within your being. She never saw anything in you but a broken, compliant Sith."

I listened to the man. I found myself smiling. He was trying to turn me against her. But he didn't know that all the words he was saying had already been intimately processed in my mind. He was far too late. However, Bastila, certainly unwilling to let these things be said, replied at once:

"No!" She promptly said, drawing my full attention back to her. Bastila stared at me with an almost physical intensity.

"There is no way I'm going to let him make you believe such awful things!" She stated aggressively, before resuming in a much calmer manner. "I saw a sincere man of fundamental goodness who has never ceased, since I travelled with him, to care about others. I saw a man who managed to gather a bunch of companions who also saw in him all the beauty of his soul. These months spent by your side proved to me that you deserved to be saved on that bridge. Not for a second did I regret the choice I made, despite all the sacrifices involved. And..."

The Jedi paused briefly, swallowed her saliva and continued:

"Despite all the perils of the mission, travelling with you has brought me great joy and comfort. But I have always deeply regretted lying to you. You have to trust me, I never liked it; and I always did my best to avoid situations that would have pushed me to lie. I ask you to forgive me. I beg you to forgive me, Revan."

Even though I considered Bastila's words to be pointless, because I had already resolved the issue with myself, I listened to her very carefully. I still needed to hear everything she had just told me. And it all became much clearer in my mind and in my heart.

Between the words of a Sith Lord, a supposed friend, who had betrayed me in an attempt to kill me, and a Jedi who had chosen to take on the responsibility of bonding with me to save my life and give me another chance, there was no room for hesitation.

True, my capture had allowed the Republic and the Order to use me in a very unethical way; and Bastila had one of the leading roles in this. But, after all, it was the least I could do after all the atrocities I had committed when I was the Dark Lord.

And Bastila's speech had affected me deeply. Of course, I was anything but impartial about the Jedi. But the words she had spoken were authentic, I knew it. And all the time I had spent with her, despite her lies, strengthened my opinion of her and my very high regard for her. Yes, she had lied to me, she had played a double game. But during our quest, she had never stopped being there for me. She had always cared about my well-being before her own. She had always been ready to sacrifice herself for me, even if it meant putting her own life in danger. And our feelings...

The Jedi Code she invoked every time we crossed a border, well, it was convenient after all. There was more involved. It wasn't just a question of forbidding. I realised that. How could you fully accept a burgeoning love for a man like me? How could you fully accept the bliss of a kiss with a former Dark Lord? The pleasure of nestling against a criminal like me? Surely it must have been a living nightmare for her to come to terms with these feelings, to admit that she had fallen in love with a Sith Lord. I was without a doubt the worst possible suitor for someone like Bastila Shan.

She was acting for our mission, that was certain, but she was also acting for my stability and well-being; for the redemption of the man I was, because, despite it all, she truly cared about me.

"Thank you." I just whispered. Bastila opened her mouth to speak, but held back. She seemed to be lost in a deep confusion. I continued more forcefully:

"And it is I who beg your forgiveness." I spoke with all my sincerity. I fixed the Jedi gratefully. She, in a state of shock, failed to respond. I resumed, letting a few tiny tears fall from the corner of my eyes:

"I am sorry for all the suffering I am causing you. I will do everything in my power to prove myself worthy of you, of what you do for me."

I finished my statement with a solemn nod - which may have seemed somewhat overzealous - as a sign of respect for the Jedi. Bastila stared at me with emotion, and made no comment on my last words.

Nevertheless, Malak took advantage of this moment of silence to sneak into the conversation.

"Pathetically moving." He began. " Clearly, my old master, you are no more than a vulgar rag soaked in your nauseating compassion. That's good. It comforts me in the decision I made to get rid of you. But I must admit that I always felt a little embarrassed not to have been able to deal with your case directly. I'm glad that I can remedy that failure today."

The Sith Lord then paralyzed Carth and Bastila, then engaged me in battle. I drew my lightsaber again, just in time to counter Malak's attack. I launched myself into a duel with my former friend and apprentice. The fight was intense as both he and I tried to demonstrate our respective skills. I was a particularly effective fighter under normal circumstances. But it was clear that I was unable to dominate Malak at this time. I could not do more than dodge attacks and defend myself. I could not break the Dark Lord's composure. He was putting all his strength and energy into it, and nothing could be done. Malak was known to be a fine swordsman, and he was clearly superior to me at that moment. Embroiled in the emotional turmoil I had just experienced, I could not be a worthy duelist.

We moved to a corridor running perpendicular to the one we were in and resumed the fight. The attacks continued over and over and I still couldn't get the upper hand. In a moment of inattention, Malak managed to paralyse me with the Force.

"I assumed you had gotten weak, but I didn't think it would be that easy." Malak announced, satisfied. The Sith approached me, saber in hand. "It's time to put things back the way they were supposed to be." Malak raised his weapon, ready to strike the fatal blow. I had finally ruined everything. I had finally broken all the efforts made by the Republic, the Jedi, and Bastila. Completely incapable of defending myself, I could only close my eyes to the inevitable outcome.

However, nothing of the sort happened, as Malak was violently thrown to the far end of the passageway. I turned my head towards the source of the manoeuvre.

Bastila.

The Jedi had broken out of her paralysis, and had stepped in to save me once more. She jogged over to me. I smiled with relief at her. She grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up, then seized me by the collar and pushed me almost violently back towards the corridor where Carth, also recovered from his stasis, was standing.

"Go, don't waste any more time." She began angrily. "Find the Ebon Hawk and flee the Leviathan once and for all! I'll hold Malak off. Go!"

"What?" I replied weakly, my eyes almost painfully fixed on her.

I heard Bastila's orders, but I refused to move, stuck in my apathy. The young woman was compelled to use the Force to pull me away before Malak could attempt another attack. So, as she had done only a minute earlier, Bastila used her powers to throw me away from her towards Carth and locked the reinforced door that separated us.

"No." I growled frantically from the ground.

I struggled to my feet and ran to the door. I drew my lightsaber and struck hard at it, panting like an infuriated beast. My wrath was suddenly cut off by a pressure against my shoulder. I ceased my actions, and turned my attention back. Of course it was Carth. The man informed me without the slightest delicacy:

"It's pointless! You are wasting time! We have to leave now!"

I looked at the officer and questioned furiously:

"Do you agree with this decision?!"

"Yes!" Carth immediately replied. "Bastila is giving us the opportunity to save our lives and get back to the mission! Bury your feelings and come to your senses! Don't mess it all up!"

A silence fell between the two of us. I stared at Carth, my breath coming in gasps. The ambiguity of my relationship with Bastila was known to the crew of the Ebon Hawk, even though Bastila had gone to great lengths to keep it a secret. I had no idea that it was so clear to some. Carth sighed slightly and continued more calmly:

"Malak won't kill her. If we stay here, we're all doomed. You wanted to prove yourself worthy of Bastila? Then honour the choice she has made. The choice that will save us all, and that will give us a chance to get her out of there... Later."

I bit my lip. Carth was right. Of course we had to leave. I had to regain control of myself and calm down the impulses in my heart that were driving me to deleterious decisions. Apparently they were still counting on me, this was not the time to screw it up. I disabled my weapon, and nodded approvingly to my companion, who immediately returned it to me. Without wasting any more time, the officer and I headed back to the hangar. About ten minutes later, the Ebon Hawk left the Leviathan.


I hope you like this revelation suggestion.

It was not very well received by some French readers. Some would have rather seen Revan go crazy and have his memories suddenly flash back!

But this kind of situation is not really my thing. I won't change for something I don't believe in.

I prefer something more composed, of more subtle intensity. Forgiveness (although it's not quite a question of forgiveness here), that's beautiful.

Memory issues, in my version, are a long-term process, involving a good deal of reflection.