The Rakata temple was swarming with Dark Jedi. When I walked in, I had no idea that I would have to deal with so many of them. This temple was soaked in the dark side, and it wasn't a matter of days, weeks or even months. This was the place where our criminal survivor had been locked up after he was knocked out on the Leviathan. There was no doubt about it.

I had been here before, with Malak, about two years ago. But I couldn't remember anything. Nothing very clear, at least. It was just sensations and emotions, which I tried to channel as best I could, since, to be quite honest, they didn't evoke anything very good. I felt as if I was synchronising with the surroundings, with my past experiences there, but it was all a big fog, and it was a very uncomfortable sensation. But I had to leave it all aside and go on.

The Ebon Hawk was grounded a few kilometres away, caught in a strange force field. In order to leave this planet, it had to be disabled. After encountering and assisting one of the nearby Rakatan tribes, my companions and I were allowed to enter this temple, where the disruptive field could be disarmed. After scouring the maze of rooms and corridors and fighting off waves of Dark Jedi, Jolee, Juhani, and I finally discovered an artificial intelligence, which explained that the force field controls were on the upper level, in the temple's inner courtyard. We immediately went there. But the path was again strewn with obstacles: another handful of Dark Jedi, patrolling droid sentries, hidden explosives... One of the explosions caused a serious cave-in and split our trio: Jolee and Juhani were stuck in the back, while I managed to make my way to the inner courtyard. Despite my friends' recommendations not to continue alone, I headed straight ahead, fully determined to turn off the force field, unwilling to waste any more time. I did not know how long it would take my companions to clear the debris. But I was sure that even with the Force they could not remove it in a few minutes.

I reached one last room, not as dark as all the others I had passed through, for it seemed to lead directly to the outside. This must have been the final access to the so-called courtyard. As I approached the exit, the light became more and more dazzling, so much so that I had to partially cover my eyes to get used to the new brightness. At last I got outside, freed my eyes from my protective hand, and was suddenly seized by a sudden uncontrolled gasp. The courtyard was quite large: it must have been about a hundred metres in diameter. At its other end was a small ship, beside which lay what appeared to be the force field controls. This was not the cause of my sudden shock, though. In front of the ship I had spotted a slender figure facing me.

"Bastila." I muttered to myself, my gaze firmly fixed on the woman.

She was cloaked in an outfit that was so black that the contrast between the colour of the clothing and the bright natural light of the planet was hurting. Bastila was dressed in a hybrid garment: it had the appearance of a Jedi robe, but seemed to be complemented by thicker pieces of leather, which gave the whole a more martial look than the simple robe. Some of these leather pieces covered her shoulders, in a way simulating the shoulder pads of combat armour. Other pieces belted firmly around the woman's waist, starting at the top of her hips and joining a line slightly below the breast. Below the belt, on the woman's right side, were long draperies of dark textiles, which brushed the knee, and below them a pair of narrow black boots. I looked up a little more, and saw that the woman was also wearing some semblance of gauntlets, still made of leather but more finely worked than the rest, running up the length of her forearms. Obviously she wasn't there to chat. Well, not only. I finished my observation by finally looking at Bastila's face. I soon noticed that the young woman had apparently left her hair untied, and had even shortened it a little: it reached the top of her shoulders at this point. Otherwise, she hadn't changed much. Perhaps her complexion was a little paler. But she seemed to be the same as ever; at least, I tried to convince myself of that. However, I couldn't help but notice that the woman looked particularly threatening.

I was frozen. I stood still, unable to look away from Bastila. She was the one who started the motion. With an almost frightening calm, she came closer, her eyes on me, keeping that silently proud attitude. I watched her, motionless, my mouth slightly parted, mesmerised by the scene I was witnessing. But as I saw her approaching, a dormant distrust seemed to be gradually awakening. Yet, as I examined the woman's face, I could still perceive Bastila. Something in me refused to admit what had to be admitted. And those eyes... I could finally get a better look at Bastila's remarkable gaze: those light grey irises, encircled by a fine black line, giving their colour such a sparkling, unique glow. Bastila Shan, even at that moment, was in my totally biased eyes a sumptuous being. Watching her move towards me, so bewitching, so magnetic, I could not believe what was so far the reality. Bastila had indeed fallen.

The woman stopped a few steps away from me. She had never taken her eyes off me. We stared at each other for a short while. Then Bastila finally spoke:

"I've been waiting for you."She announced simply in her elegantly accented voice. I made no reply. I kept watching my partner in a puzzled silence.

Behind these few words she had spoken, I thought I detected a glimpse of emotion. What I considered to be encouraging news. But I should not celebrate too quickly. The Bastila who stood before me was not my ally. I had to proceed carefully, for myself, for my friends, for the mission, and of course for Bastila herself.

"What has been done to you, Bastila?" I finally asked with concern.

The woman gave a muffled laugh, momentarily looking away, and then met my eyes again. She took two more steps in my direction, causing me to feel a wave of anxiety and encouraging me to be even more vigilant. The two former friends that we were then stood within a single step of each other.

"You ask me that as if I were in a deplorable state." The woman said at last, her gaze once more firmly fixed on mine. "What, are you saying I'm in poor condition?"

I was silent. I just held my gaze on the former Jedi, my eyebrows furrowed. Getting her back was going to be a lot harder than I'd imagined.

"I've broken free, Revan." She continued with some trepidation, "Malak freed me."

I clenched my jaws at this last statement. I could feel the anger swirling inside me, but I tried to channel it as much as possible. My breathing became more intense, faster, more suffocating, as Bastila delivered this shocking news. She realised this and seemingly decided to play with my emotions. She wanted to bring me to the height of my anger and guilt to better break me down, to better bring me to her. I knew it perfectly well.

"For a full week I suffered the torture inflicted by Malak." She added, never breaking eye contact with me. "For a full week I screamed in pain, I bled like I had never bled before..." I frowned at these last words "...I cried at being alone in what I thought was a desperate situation. Then I finally cried because I realised that I had been living in a fallacy for so long."

"I am no longer attached to the doctrine." She continued in a triumphant voice. "It's over. I will no longer let the Masters tell me what to do, what is best for me. I am now the sole decision-maker, and the Order no longer has any power over me. I am free. I've finally broken free of the code. Just as you wanted."

"Do you really think you're free?" I asked in shock. "Bastila, you've just abandoned one doctrine for another."

"You don't understand." The woman retorted annoyingly.

"You are mistaken!" I countered briskly, grabbing Bastila's hand.

"This is what you wanted!" The Sith aggressively shoved my hand away, unintentionally revealing the grief that was consuming her. Stunned by this outburst, I fell silent, and only focused on my friend with sorrow.

"You were the one always prompting me to question the code!" The woman replied sharply, gasping for breath. "I did. I am free. And I'm here, standing before you!"

I was still silently observing Bastila. What was she getting at? Was she blaming me for our closeness during our quest for the star maps? What did she want? I saw the young woman reach out and take my hand, the one she had just pushed away. She looked hesitant, nervous. At first she just held my hand in hers, her eyes locked on them. I let her proceed. The situation was certainly not a reassuring one, but I could not believe that Bastila would attack me in such a moment. I even took advantage of the contact and the turmoil of the Sith to place my other hand on the woman's, forming a protective shell. Bastila raised her eyes to me. I could perceive a glimmer of hope in her eyes that I hadn't seen yet. "Just like before." I thought.

"Come with me. Let's leave!" Bastila spoke apprehensively, yet with a sense of resolve.

I widened my eyes. Leave with her? I felt helpless in the face of this request. I had sensed something sincere in Bastila, a real desire to be with me, but what could I really think of this? Noticing that I was once again left speechless, a silence that was almost painful for me, Bastila insisted:

"Come with me, take back what is rightfully yours, and let us pursue your work together."

"My work?" I asked hesitantly.

"Together." Bastila repeated, likely eager to emphasise her longing for us to be together again. "We can finally be with each other, Revan. We have that right. And I want it."

My breath grew deeper. Bastila had pressed exactly on the most sensitive spot in me. She knew exactly where and how to strike. In my heart I knew I should not be fooled by those amazing words I had been dreaming of hearing for so long. I bit my lip and looked away from Bastila, as if I feared she would bewitch me further. The woman chose to close the narrow gap between me and her, and laid a hand on my face so that I could regain her eyes. But I resisted for a moment, turning my head excessively to my right. It was a struggle that I eventually lost though, and I fully faced my former friend once again, locking my eyes with hers. I expected to meet Bastila's calculating expression, the look of a manipulator in action. Curiously, I could read in it an emotion that was real. Perhaps she really wanted me to be with her. My mind was racing, I didn't know what to do about her.

"Malak tried to turn me against you, Revan," The Sith resumed softly, gently stroking my beard with the palm of her hand, "He knew the fondness I had for you. He wanted to make you responsible for all my suffering."

I remained quiet, listening.

"When I freed myself, I let him believe that I only felt hatred and resentment for you. I wanted him to think that I was totally devoted to him."

Bastila took her eyes off me for a moment and brought her hand, which had been resting on my cheek, to mine, grasping it gently. I let out a slight exhale, reflecting a tiny part of the emotion that was swirling inside me.

" Even though Malak is convinced that you are now an empty shell, he fears you greatly. He has always feared you. You send him back to all his weaknesses, to all that he is not capable of undertaking, when you accomplish twice as much. I was waiting for you to come to me. I was waiting for you to finally join me."

" Join you? "

"Yes!" The Sith promptly replied, squeezing my hand a little tighter. " Together, we can do so much! Come with me, let's kill Malak and be the masters of your empire! I pledge myself to you, Revan! Utterly!"

I made no immediate response. I took a few seconds to examine Bastila's face. She was at that moment in a kind of hopeful ecstasy. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. And that hint of desire in her voice when she voiced this offer, which was so degrading for her. She was giving herself to me, without showing the slightest consideration for herself. And of course I remembered the big rule among the Sith: the apprentice is bound to betray the master. This was not my idea of a future shared with Bastila.

"And what would we be destined for, Bastila?" I finally asked disillusionedly. The young woman gave me a questioning look tainted by a degree of bitterness.

"You will end up trying to take my place, trying to kill me. Such a collaboration, what does that make me for you? A mere target to be shot, for power."

"No, listen to me!" The Sith cut in, eager to make me flinch. "We would be the masters, we would be free to not be tied to this rule! There would be no question of betrayal between you and me! Let's change the rules, Revan. Let's ensure our perpetuation by building our own dynasty!"

My eyes widened again. At this point I was completely taken aback, so Bastila seized the opportunity to develop her argument, placing both hands on either side of my face:

"Can you imagine the power of our bloodline, Revan? Can you imagine the potential of our family?"

I stared at Bastila in deep disbelief, and with a trace of mistrust. I felt confused. A future together with Bastila, I dreamed of it. But what she was offering me did not taste the way I really expected from such an announcement. It wasn't what I wanted.

"There is no other way for us to be together." The Sith ended pleadingly, surprisingly sincerely, stroking my thick beard one more time. I brought my hand to her hand and then, with a delicate gesture, reached out and took it to my lips, only keeping it pressed against them first. Bastila cast an emotional glance at me, but didn't say anything.

"No, Bastila." I whispered through her fingers against my lips. At this single word, the woman could not contain the tears that were discreetly gathering in the corners of her eyes, as if she already knew that I would decline her offer. I plunged my gaze into the Sith's, and continued calmly:

"Not like that."

Bastila made no reply, gasping for breath - she appeared to be drowning in a growing agony. I seized this moment of vulnerability in her to pursue more forcefully:

"You are still there, Bastila, I can feel it. I can still feel you, you are not lost! You are going down a path that I no longer want to follow, because I know by experience that it only leads to suffering and destruction. It is not my place, and it is not yours either!"

I could feel the woman tense up, her anger beginning to boil inside her.

"I am no longer a Sith, Bastila. I don't feel like a Jedi either. I don't know what I really am. But I will not walk with you on this. It's no longer a part of me." I added in a softer note.

Suddenly, Bastila let out a groan and almost violently escaped from my hold; she took a few large steps backwards.

"Bastila." I uttered in rampant despair, reaching out in vain, as if to pull her back.

The Sith assumed an aggressive posture, and reached for her lightsaber, which she switched on. Her gaze was still on me, but now it was far more inimical. Bastila looked like she was entering a destructive rage. I watched the young woman, confused and disbelieving.

"So you are rejecting me." Bastila declared, her voice both angry and resolute, a few tears running down her pale skin. Bewildered, I risked stepping forward again to meet the woman, who was ready to defend herself. With her lightsaber, Bastila motioned to me that it was not wise to come any closer. So I stopped.

"No. You refuse to listen to me!" I retorted almost imploringly. "I am not rejecting you. I would never reject you."

"You are mocking me!" Bastila then shouted strongly, more and more overwhelmed by her rage.

"I'm not!" I shouted back, devastated.

"You want the old Bastila!" The woman cried out in a heartbreaking voice. "You pushed me off my principles! You pushed me out of the Code! Now I'm standing here, right before you, and you're... you're after the old Bastila. The one of the Order, the one of the dogma..."

"That' s not what..." I tried to retort.

"What did you really want from me?!" The Sith now yelled. "Now that I'm no longer in the grip of the Order, you're losing interest? Was it exciting for you to torment a docile and vulnerable Jedi?"

"You don't mean that." I said sternly, feeling slightly offended.

"And why am I doing this to myself?" Bastila continued, seemingly not listening to me. "Why can't I get you out of my mind after all I've been through because of you?"

I stared at my mate. A knot was forming deep inside me. Guilt. Anguish. My mistakes. After all, Malak had been successful in his manoeuvre. He must have expected this kind of confrontation between his apprentice and his former Master. Bastila was wrong to think that she could so easily fool the Dark Lord. Malak knew that she would try to rally me to her. He knew I would refuse, nailing Bastila even more firmly in the shadows.

"All the sacrifices I've made, all the responsibilities I've carried for you..." The Sith recited, her eyes lost in the distance, in such pain that even without our bond, I could feel it. "All this for what?"

"Bastila." I spoke urgently. I had to stop the young woman from sinking further into her rage.

"I know my responsibility for the suffering you endure." I began, trying to regain the Sith's full attention. " Don't think that I don't realise it. Don't think that I don't blame myself for being the cause of all your pain. Of all the people I have ever met in my entire life, you are the one I owe the most. I will do everything to pay my debt to you. And that starts with bringing you back to your roots. Bastila, look at yourself, listen to yourself! You can't believe that you belong in a world that wants to destroy you!"

Bastila gave no answer. With her free hand she wiped away the tears dripping from her chin and looked up at me, looking thoughtful.

"Come back, Bastila." I implored. "This time I will be here. I won't let you down."

Bastila released a muffled, somewhat ironic laugh before replying:

"Not like on the Leviathan?" The woman eventually replied. I frowned, unwilling to believe that she was about to blame me for the terrible events on the cruiser.

"I beg your pardon?" I asked innocently.

"You failed me twice, on the Leviathan."

I slowly shook my head incredulously. No, she couldn't blame me for all this. She couldn't do that.

"You can't do that." I spoke with great difficulty. Bastila, who had stepped into a particularly traumatic issue, was no longer able to hold back her agony.

"Malak was there." She persisted harshly, "He's the one who allowed me to make that soldier pay for what he did to me."

"No..." I muttered, frozen where I stood.

"You allowed it to happen." The woman accused.

This was too much. I couldn't take it anymore. I broke through the most critical level of tension and exploded:

"Enough!" I yelled in pain. "I was ready to slash my wrists, to mutilate all my limbs to stop what was happening! You have no right to imply that I allowed it to happen! You have no right to compare me to Malak! Because all this time, while he was chasing you like a common prey, I was by your side, trying to prove myself worthy! Because I admired you, I esteemed you, because I was grateful, because I cared about you!"

Bastila stood still. She was watching me with concealed emotion. She seemed to be waiting for me to continue.

"I failed to help you at crucial moments. I hate myself so much for that. Guilt is consuming me every second of every day. It feels terrible. But I wouldn't want it to be otherwise: this is a tiny part of the payment I owe you. Let me make it up to you, Bastila."

The Sith stared at me without uttering a single word. Only the wind and the roar of Bastila's crimson lightsaber filled the silence that had fallen between us. For a moment I thought I had successfully unsettled the Sith, and that I might have a chance of getting her back on the Ebon Hawk. We stared at each other for a moment longer. Until Jolee and Juhani finally reached us - they had apparently managed to clear the way and get to me. The two Jedi each raised their weapons at the sight of Bastila in what appeared to be an aggressive stance. They ran to me, and stopped at my position. Juhani then came up to me and placed a hand on my arm in a gesture of solidarity. I noticed that the move made Bastila quietly flinch, as she grabbed her weapon with both hands.

"Bastila!" Jolee exclaimed. The young woman, who had been gravely focused on me until then, gave the old Jedi a murderous look. "Put down your saber, we don't want to fight you! We are not enemies!"

"You serve the Republic Jolee. I serve the Sith. By definition, we are enemies." Bastila retorted sternly, attention now directed at Juhani, who had since stepped away from me, and taken a place beside me, as had Jolee.

"You can be saved Bastila!" The Cathar said. "I have been! You can throw away the darkness!"

"Shut up!" Bastila aggressively cut off. "You were just a beast hiding in your den! You possessed this power, but you never knew how to tame it, you were just afraid. You make me sick, Juhani."

"We understand your anger." Juhani persisted despite the Sith's callous words. "I have known that anger, when I attacked my Master. We have spared you the burden of the death you wanted to give to this man, you can get rid of that weight."

I immediately turned my eyes to the Jedi and tried to make her understand that she should not speak any further. But the Cathar didn't seem to mind my attitude.

"What do you mean you 'spared me the burden' of this death?" Bastila questioned, now glancing at me suspiciously. "You finished him off?"

"We saved him, Bastila." Juhani replied, in inappropriate pride.

"Damn it." I thought. I sighed resignedly. I had no chance of making Bastila listen to reason now, as she was just learning that we had freed her tormentor from the Leviathan, while I had been trying to assure her a few minutes earlier that I would stand by her at all costs. Juhani's words were well-intentioned, but it was clear that she was aiming very far from the target.

"Three times, then." Bastila added in my direction, in a factual tone.

"He is our prisoner. We saved his life, but we didn't free him." I attempted with urgency. "He will be tried and convicted for what he did, you have my word. You will have your revenge."

Bastila raised her eyebrows, and took a long breath.

"I had it before you came and ruined it for me." The Sith finished before waving her saber again.

"We don't want to, but if we have to fight, Bastila, we will." Jolee declared, standing on his own guard.

I turned to the old Jedi and looked at him in disbelief. I didn't want to come to this. It didn't have to come to this. There had to be an alternative.

"Good." Bastila responded flatly and imitated Jolee's attitude, ready to confront her former companions. Juhani followed the initiative and prepared for the fight.

I was lost. I still hadn't unhooked my saber from my belt. I had to find a solution. How not to fight. But the time I wasted searching for this non-existent solution gave Bastila the opportunity to initiate the confrontation. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her rushing towards me, lightsaber ready to slice. I finally decided to grab my own lightsaber and activate it. I did not need to defend myself directly, for Jolee and Juhani had already intercepted the Sith before she could unleash her rage on me. Bastila was pushed back to her original position. I exhaled, resigned, and reluctantly assumed a defensive posture, awaiting the next round from Malak's new apprentice. With my gaze firmly fixed on Bastila, I took advantage of the few seconds of calm to say to my two companions:

"Stay back. Let me handle this."

Jolee and Juhani gave me a questioning look, then shared a similar glance, before taking a semblance of a retreat a few steps behind me. Nevertheless, they kept their weapons active. We had to remain cautious. I had regained considerable power, for sure. I was undoubtedly stronger than Bastila, even at that moment. But I knew myself to be unsettled by this confrontation. The proof was that I had not yet thought it wise to reach for my saber - if Bastila were to strike me - I had made a serious mistake in my analysis of the situation. Bastila was not going to be saved. I wasn't going to make it. It was irresponsible and naive of me to think that she would never dare to confront me. Bastila was wrapped up in her own torment, and she was quite ready to challenge me, regardless of what we had shared. This was a torture. A deep disillusionment. I foolishly thought that the feelings we had for each other would hold back her wrath. This was not true. At this point, Bastila was ready to kill me if the opportunity was given to her.

"'Handle this'?" The Sith repeated in a mocking tone. "Is that all the consideration you have for me, Revan?" She continued, laughing.

For the first time since I stepped foot in this courtyard, I avoided answering Bastila. There was no point in doing so. It was not going to do anyone any good. She could make fun of the situation, make fun of me, whatever! There was no time for discussion. In fact, perhaps it had never really been a time for discussion.

I took a much more aggressive stance, a sign that this time I was determined to resist, not just defend myself. Bastila smiled with satisfaction and engaged me again. We met in the centre of the courtyard and exchanged myriad discharges of our lightsabers, each one more aggressive than the last. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but hold back the power and sharpness of my attacks, since killing Bastila was not an option for me. She, however, didn't mind. She was in a state of uncontrollable fury, she was determined to kill me. She was determined to put an end to the existence of a man whom she regarded as the one responsible for her suffering. It had to happen this way.

We fought for long minutes. The woman was the first to show real signs of exhaustion. It was obvious that she was no match, even with her dark powers. She had certainly noticed that I was holding back, that I wasn't giving everything I had. This had the effect of making her all the more furious, but also of eroding her great confidence in her abilities. And that was without mentioning the strength of Jolee and Juhani, who were, for the moment, just watching the scene, but ready to join me in the confrontation at any moment.

Realising that things couldn't get any better for her, Bastila risked disengaging from the duel to take a step backwards, and drew on her last resources to unleash a Force wave of such potency that I was thrown against the wall just above the archway that led into the temple. Jolee and Juhani were also blown off their feet, but were able to save themselves with relative ease. Bastila then took advantage of this moment to run towards the small ship - which certainly had to have the necessary technology to cross the disruptive field - stationed at the rear of the courtyard, and, in barely fifteen seconds, she powered up the engines, took off, and left Lehon for good.

I was still down, stunned by the shock I had just received. Jolee and Juhani rushed to me and helped me up. I let out a few groans of pain, but I wasn't in any serious condition.

"Are you okay?" Juhani asked urgently.

"I've been better." I admitted.

I looked up again at the courtyard, where Bastila had been standing only a moment before. A deep breath escaped from me. I had failed to bring her back. For the first time since the Leviathan, I doubted my ability to save the young woman, to pull her out of this abyss she was drowning in. I was beginning to think about ending this war without being able to bring Bastila back to her world. And that prospect hurt me more than any physical injury. At that moment, at the top of that Rakatan temple, I realised that I had to start considering mourning Bastila Shan. A tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek to sink into the thick beard that the young woman had been tenderly stroking just before.

" Right. " I finally said. "We need to get this damn force field down, so we can get the hell off this planet as soon as possible. We have a space station to blow up."

Then I slowly but surely pulled away from Jolee and Juhani and made my way to the console that would allow us to leave. I noticed the two Jedi sharing a questioning look again. They must have expected another reaction from me. It was a situation that both companions must have feared. They must have feared seeing the former Sith fall again, they must have feared seeing me rush into uncontrollable rage, and they must have feared seeing me jeopardise the mission in order to get Bastila back. But I was not going to do any of that. I was going to carry this mission to its conclusion, without ever compromising it. I was committed to it.