Chapter 2: Hope
Maura
Maura glanced around as Jane parked the truck. "This is beautiful," Maura whispered. They had pulled into a secluded area surrounded by trees, but there were enough trails and open space that Maura could tell that it was often used for camping or day hiking.
Jane laughed. "What? Did you think I was going to take you camping in a parking lot?" she teased.
Maura glared at Jane as they unbuckled. "No," she answered, trying to hide her smile. "It's just been a while since I've been away from the city."
Jane laughed again, slamming the door shut and reaching into the truck-bed. "I'm gonna set up the tent first," she said. "How do you feel about collecting wood for the fire?"
"I can do that," Maura said. She loved how well she and Jane worked together. They had never gone camping together before, and yet, they moved around each other, setting up their campsite, with ease.
The evening sun was peeking through the trees, casting long shadows across the ground. Maura really wanted to pause to take a few pictures, but she decided that could wait until they were set up. It wouldn't be fun to set up in the dark.
The one thing Maura wasn't a fan of was the bugs. She knew they'd go away once the fire was started, though so she hurried up to finish collecting wood before helping Jane finish getting everything they'd need into the tent.
Maura had just finished putting the last of their things into the tent when Jane stopped her. She was caught off guard when Jane pulled her into a tight embrace. Maura returned the hug, instantly melting into Jane's arms.
"Thank you for coming with me," Jane whispered into Maura's hair.
"Thank you for sharing this with me," Maura replied, just as quietly.
Heat flooded through Maura's body when Jane gently kissed her temple before releasing her, but she didn't acknowledge the gesture, not wanting to make Jane feel uncomfortable.
"So, I just brought chicken and vegetables for tonight's dinner," Jane said as she walked over to the cooler. "Can you hold this for a second?" she asked as she handed Maura a Tupperware container with boneless chicken breasts marinating in Italian dressing.
"Of course," Maura replied as she took the container while Jane pulled out another Tupperware full of cut up vegetables. She watched as Jane set the tripod grill over the fire that they had started a little over an hour ago. Jane used a grill fork to place the chicken around the grill before putting the vegetables into a foil packet and placing it on the other side of the grill. "That's a very handy contraption," Maura said as she settled into the camp chair next to Jane's.
"Yeah, I mean, it kinda feels like cheating," Jane said with a laugh. "But it's so much easier to cook over a fire with it."
"I won't tell," Maura quipped. They sat in silence for a while. Jane watched the food, flipping the chicken a few times to make sure it cooked evenly, and Maura watched her friend. She was so grateful to be here with her friend. It felt good to spend time alone with Jane. The rest of the evening passed peacefully. After dinner, they stayed up late, just sitting by the fire and enjoying each other's company.
"We should go to bed," Jane said eventually as the fire started to burn out.
"Okay," Maura replied. She followed Jane as brushed their teeth using water from a bottle Jane had packed and used the make-shift bathroom (aka, a hole in the ground).
It was a warm night, so Maura kept her sleeping bag unzipped, and she noticed that Jane did as well. With Jane lying beside her, Maura felt more at peace than she had in over a year, and her exhaustion quickly pulled her into a deep sleep.
Jane
"How do you feel about going on a hike today?" Jane asked Maura after they had cleaned up their simple breakfast. The sun was already beating down, and she could tell it would be a hot day. Still, the hike she had in mind had quite a bit of shade, so it wouldn't be too bad.
"Jane, I'm just grateful to be here with you," Maura said. "Please just do whatever you would have done if you were alone."
"Well, there's a path that winds through the forest before eventually leading up a cliff that overlooks the lake. Well, 'cliff' is probably too strong of a word," she laughed. "It usually takes me an hour and a half each way, but I go at a pretty relaxing pace. It's not a strenuous walk by any means."
"That sounds wonderful," Maura said.
They each packed a small backpack with water and lunch to carry on their hike before setting off. They mostly walked in silence, but every once in a while, one of them would point out something to the other.
Jane loved being surrounded by nature, even if she was a city girl most of the time. She found the bright green of the trees and weeds to be calming.
Usually, Jane's thoughts returned to the events of last summer while she walked, but today, her thoughts were focused on the woman walking next to her. She couldn't believe how lucky she was to have a best friend like Maura. Maura had been her biggest support for years, but it was this past year that had shown Jane just how important Maura was to her. It was also during this past year that Jane had realized that her feelings for Maura went beyond the bounds of just friendship.
When Jane woke up in the hospital, she knew her baby was gone, but it was Maura who said it aloud first. As soon as Maura confirmed what she already knew, all Jane wanted was for Maura to crawl into that hospital bed with her and hold her until the pain went away. Maura may not have been able to literally do that, but she had held Jane together in every other way from that moment on. The pain of losing Frost and of her miscarriage would never fully go away, but eventually, Jane realized that she could live with that pain if she had Maura by her side.
And of course, these thoughts had led Jane to contemplate all the other times Maura had been there for her over the years. From being her safe haven after Hoyt escaped from prison to offering to help her raise her child when she was pregnant, Maura had always been there for Jane. She felt like an idiot for taking so long to realize that Maura was so much more than her best friend. Hell, Hoyt had seen it before Jane had. Maura was Jane's person.
Jane reached out to take Maura's hand in hers as the trees started to clear, and she was glad that Maura didn't hesitate to link their hands together. She led Maura up the rock formation, and as they turned the corner and walked out onto the cliff to overlook the lake, Maura squeezed her hand. Jane paused and pulled Maura towards her. She wrapped both of her arms around her friend.
The lake below sparkled in the sun, reflecting the greenery from the surrounding trees. The sky was a brilliant blue, but Jane could see clouds gathering to the west.
They didn't say a word as they stood together, wrapped up in each other, taking in the beauty surrounding them.
No words were needed. Just being together was enough. Just being in the real world…away from their world…just being here…together was enough.
Eventually, Jane's stomach growled, drawing a giggle from Maura. "We should eat," Maura said, reluctantly releasing her hold on Jane.
"Yeah," Jane agreed. She led Maura to a flat area where they could sit but still see the beautiful lake view in front of them. They talked and laughed like old times as they enjoyed a leisurely lunch together. They ended up staying there for nearly two hours before Jane suggested that they should start the return journey. She could see the clouds rolling in and knew that they were likely to see rain before sundown.
They cleaned up and did a final sweep of the area to make sure that they didn't accidently leave any trash. "Thank you for sharing this with me," Maura said, giving Jane another hug.
"I want to show you something else before we go back," Jane replied.
"Okay."
Jane took Maura's hand again, but instead of leading her back down the path, she led her along the back side of the rock formation. It wasn't an official trail, but it was clear that enough people had walked through her to beat down an informal path. It led to an alcove under the main part of the cliff. Jane liked it because it gave a slightly different view of the lake, but it also offered a sense of protection.
Jane sat down against the rock and pulled Maura down to sit next to her. They sat with their backs against the rock and their knees bent in front of them as they looked out over the lake once more.
"I know you don't believe in heaven or the afterlife or whatever," Jane said quietly without looking at Maura. "But when I come here, I swear I can feel Frost's presence. After he died, I tried going to visit his grave. I'd try sitting there and talking to him, but – I don't know – I never really felt like he was there. Yeah, I know what you're going to say. He's dead. Of course, he's not here.
"Anyway, I didn't come out here looking for him. I came looking for some kind of peace, and I guess in a way, I found it. I actually felt like I found it up where we just were, but after I'd been up there a few times, I found this space. I don't know what it is about being here, but I finally felt like I'd found somewhere I could talk to him.
"So, on my weekends off, I've been coming out here, and I come to this spot, and I talk to Frost. I know you probably think it's ridiculous, but it helps."
Maura shifted closer to Jane so that their shoulders and hips were pressed together. She took Jane's left hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Thank you for sharing this with me," she said quietly. "I don't think it's ridiculous. All that matters to me is that it helps."
"Thanks," Jane said, turning her head to face Maura. They shared a soft smile before looking out over the lake again. "Anyway, we really should head back, but I just wanted you to know."
"It means more than you know that you brought me here," Maura replied.
Jane squeezed Maura's hands before standing up and helping Maura to her feet.
