Damn, here we go again.

It's a rare occurrence I check the email notifications on my phone, and even rarer to click on them to actually read it. But that's precisely what I did roughly an hour ago by accident, which caused me to be pleasantly surprised that someone had just had favorited this old ass story lmao. I read through the last update I posted, and my summertime sadness/boredness prompted me to unleash yet another unrelated update which will just be blatant oversharing, so prepare yourselves. Before I begin, however, I do want to sincerely thank the few that have stumbled across/revisited this dusty crusty fanfic and somehow liked(?) or enjoyed(?) it during this past year. And shit, y'all sure do be holding out some faith on me.

But heyyy, I finished my first year of college! (Barely.) I'd like to say it got better since the last time you've heard from me, but I'd be lying. To be honest, I'm not sure which suffered the most damage this school year- my liver, my mind, or my heart. Cliche as it sounds, a boy swept me off my feet within the first two days of moving to campus, and my cold ass heart let him in. Only for him to change drastically the last month of our relationship and break up with me the last week of school 3 It really hit different seeing him dance at a concert only 2 days later with his arms around the girl I caught a few glimpses of hanging around him the weeks prior. Smiling into her neck and stuff. Did wonders to my tear ducts. 0/10 would recommend.

I want to say that I'll always regret all of it and wish it never happened, but I would also be lying about that. I think I knew, for a short amount of time, how it felt to be loved by someone and to love them back. And now I also know how it feels to have that same person fall out of love with you. It hurts, and it still hurts, but I'm desperately clinging on to a little hope that it was for the best. I found out a lot of the things he did with that girl during the month before we broke up (he asked for a break during that time and silly me thought he was actually going to use it to focus on himself) this Monday, and at least for now, I haven't cried about it. Another cliche- I think time heals all. Or maybe it doesn't because now I hate his guts lmfao. I'm a pretty pessimistic person and I like to keep myself in check. To keep myself grounded, the possibility that he would leave me always remained in the back of my mind. But for us to end like that was and still is unimaginable. But it happened, just like the fact that I wrote this story and left it up for the internet to see all these years LOL. People change, as demonstrated above. (I have too, and so has my username hehe.)

If you've managed to make it this far, I told you I would hella overshare LMAO. But my mental health has been pretty unhinged for a while now, and it feels good to write this out anonymously. Furthermore, I'm beginning to seriously ponder if I should continue writing stories on here. But as I said before, I'm no writer. So should the occasion arise, please ignore the fact that my fiction literary skills plateaued in the 8th grade. Until then, I wish everyone the best. Once again, to those out there that stuck with this story, thank you. :) Remember to take care of yourselves.

Signing off,

Author-san